"This corporation does not need a physicist screaming 'illegal dump site.'"

Opening Statement

When I read that Choke Canyon is about a "cowboy physicist" trying to do something with sound and energy, I immediately asked my brother, a physics major, to watch the movie with me. Together, we discovered two layers of awfulness: one that rests on the film's flimsy execution, and another that resides in the movie's "scientific" theories.

Facts of the Case

The wind whips through Choke Canyon at such an alarming rate, that the sound is almost deafening. Dr. David Lowell (Stephen Collins, 7th Heaven), is a physicist living in the canyon, trying to perfect a scientific theory that will allow him to draw energy from the sound waves.

His plans get stalled, however, when Pilgrim, a cold, ruthless nuclear power company, tries to take over his land. They need the canyon to store a giant steel ball filled with nuclear waste, but David isn't about to give up his experiment. After Pilgrim's thugs trash David's laboratory, he sets out on a revenge mission to chase the dirty polluters off his land.

The Evidence

Choke Canyon is an outrageously bad film that, despite everything working against it, manages to be enjoyable on some lowly, ironic level. It falls somewhere around the quality of an off-episode of Walker, Texas Ranger, meaning that it's infinitely watchable in the right frame of mind. It also begs to be given the Mystery Science Theater 3000 send-up.

It's never a good sign when a film's opening credits have a different title than what's on the box. Apparently the UK version of the film is called "On Deadly Ground." The title "Choke Canyon" is way better, of course. Then you're treated to some exposition about how Dr. David Lowell is trying to milk clean, renewable energy from sound waves. My physics-major brother shakes his head. Dr. Dave has some big plans for an experiment involving the passing of Halley's comet, which will supposedly mess up the gravitational pull of the Earth, enhancing the wind that will produce sound in Choke Canyon. My physics-major brother tries to stifle his laughter.

I was ready to accept whatever "Hollywood science" this film was going to throw at me, so long as the action in the film lived up to the DVD's outrageous cover art. The cover features a leather-jacket clad MacGyver look-alike holding a machine gun; two Bronco trucks, engulfed in flames, soaring to their doom; a brunette with a short skirt holding a shotgun; Bo Svenson (Walking Tall) brandishing a really big gun with awkward foreshortening; and a helicopter dragging a glowing black ball. If this were a paperback novel sitting on a bookshelf, I'd read it in a day. Instead, it's a crappy film with awful direction and a goofy story.

The main problem with the movie is that Dr. David Lowell is completely unlikeable. You feel sorry for the guy, and his horse Jake, when his lab is demolished by two Ford Broncos and some hand grenades. Then, when he enacts revenge by tying the two Broncos together using their tow cables, causing them to plummet off a cliff and explode, you have to think "maybe that was a little excessive, doc." It's only when he goes on a terroristic raid on the newly established Pilgrim camp, kidnaps the CEO's daughter (Janet Julian, Swamp Thing), and takes Polaroids of his new hostage, that you begin to think this guy might just be crazy. Oh yeah, and he wants to get energy from sound.

Choke Canyon is filled with some hammy acting and questionable directing, but it's not short on stunts. In fact, the last twenty minutes of the movie involve a superbly excessive helicopter/stuntplane chase sequence. Dr. Dave steals the nuclear waste ball and proceeds to fly the thing out of Choke Canyon. A mercenary played by Svenson chases after him in a circus plane, leading to lots of goofy maneuvers and a couple sweet aerial deaths. In the end, however, this chopper chase isn't enough to save the film from being mid-80s anti-nuclear energy hokum filled with (my brother assures me) bunk science. Those explosions are sweet, though.

Making matters even worse, Choke Canyon has one of the worst transfers I've seen in some time. The packaging boasts a brand new transfer from the camera negatives, but it's riddled with dirt, scratches, and color fading. This isn't an issue of the DVD video so much as a really messed up film negative. The thing looks like it was shot on Super 8mm -- although I should note that Dante Spinotti's (L.A. Confidential) cinematography is pretty striking. The sound isn't any better with, at times, barely inaudible dialogue and a too-loud synth soundtrack. The movie only has an English stereo track, and the whole thing is mixed unevenly, causing me to man the volume button the entire film.

The special features are welcomed, but provide little insight into the film. The commentary track with producer Peter Shepherd, moderated by a fellow from Code Red, is filled with inside information about Italian filmmaking, and how many of the actors came to be involved with the film. Only rarely does it offer any insight as to what's actually happening on screen, and becomes fairly tedious after a while. The interview with Bo Svenson is even stranger and more off base. Questions are super-imposed on the screen (including the classic: "Why did Warner Bros. rejected the film?"), and Bo cracks wise about each one. It's a 10-minute interview and you learn just about nothing. Lastly, there's a cool trailer for the movie that is exciting enough to probably convince any friend to watch this with you.

Closing Statement

Choke Canyon is a cautionary tale about phony energy production and the faithfulness of a man's horse. Or maybe it's a cautionary tale about having easily accessible tow cables when there's a vengeful physicist afoot. Perhaps it's just a cautionary tale about how cool explosions and aerial stunts can fix even the worst movie. I don't know.

The film isn't really that good, but if you are looking for a so-bad-it's-fun movie, this may hit the spot. Plus, if you're a physics major, this offers up another use for your degree once you graduate.

The Verdict

On guilty ground.

Prey for the hunter.

Opening Statement

As cool and icy as the statuesque women that bear its name, Claymore: Complete Series Box Set is a high-action, blood-soaked, demon-slaying drama full of strung-out, sexually frustrated women slaying monsters with gigantic swords. Yes. It might be peculiar in terms of its gender dynamics, but it's one heck of a ride.

Facts of the Case

A brutal scourge stalks the land. Yoma, monsters driven by a hunger satisfied by only one quarry: humanity. The dark breed knows but a singular foe. Claymore: human-Yoma hybrids of extraordinary strength and cunning. The Claymores roam from skirmish to skirmish, delivering salvation by the edge of a blade.

Thus beings the twisting tale of Clare, one such sister of the sword, driven by pain in both victory and defeat. A child silent and suffering in her past, Clare's march towards vengeance unfolds along a path marked by violence, solitude, and scorn. In a land where even the predator is prey, the haunted hearts of hunter and hunted alike wear the scars of age.

The Evidence

Claymore is an exercise in escalation. The show starts off weak and boring, almost embarrassingly so, with the first three or four episodes leaving you questioning the investment of time and money in the box set. Then unexpectedly, the show ramps up the interest through strong character development and intensity, with more action, more impressively gory fight sequences, and exceedingly dangerous encounters. Like a pot of boiling water, Claymore starts off cold and chilly, but eventually boils over in furious passion. You find yourself cursing the few moments of downtime spent switching discs, anxious to see the next episode. The limbs fly, the blood flows, and the eviscerations are plentiful, earning its mature rating quite easily.

There are some weird sexual undertones to the violence and the demonic transformation, a likening to crossing the awakened threshold of transformation as sexual pleasure. The Claymores have to resist this temptation at all costs or be lost into darkness forever -- which is why the women make better subjects then the men, who quickly succumb to the ecstasy. When you start examining Claymore in a feminist light, with all these short-haired, chaste women resisting their sexual temptation and taking out their aggression by slaying things with a big sword, things get confusing to say the least. It makes for entertainment, this much is true, but it certainly doesn't speak to the kindness and generosity of sexually repressed women -- unless it's trying to say they're a bunch of bloodthirsty lunatics -- but that wouldn't be very smart.

Instead of the expected buxom anime protagonists, the Claymores are lithe, statuesque pale figures who hide the scars and disfigurements of hundreds of battles underneath their armor. The character designs are detailed and nuanced, but often confusing. The cast of the show are near-identical blonde women that have slightly different haircuts and tiny insignias on their armor and sword to distinguish from each other. You can pick Clare and a few others out of a crowd, but it often gets confusing trying to figure out who just got dismembered. It's a moot point anyway. I wouldn't get too attached to them, if you get my drift. The body count is pretty staggering.

The plot is light on details. We know the Claymores are created by a mysterious, male-driven Organization with shadowy agents who rendezvous with the ladies in the field, sending them on increasingly dangerous and suicidal missions -- even ordering the execution of other Claymores who pass their limit and risk turning into demons. Who they are, and what their motives are remains a mystery. Claymore doesn't really spend much time worrying about it -- the crux of the narrative is the exploration of humanity, of salvation and friendship. The Claymores are feared and hated by the world, being half-demons; a cruel twist of fate considering how they give up their own humanity in order to protect the very people that fear them. Clare is something of a catalyst in the organization, a game-changer, who slowly begins to develop her own ideas of humanity and righteousness and honor, realizing the Organization may not have their best interests at heart. As the story progresses, she meets more like-minded Claymores and slowly begin to rebuild the human bonds between them, always at odds with their own inherent monstrous and demonic nature.

It isn't all wine and roses in terms of enjoyment. Claymore establishes right in the first episode that any damage that a Claymore sustains can be easily "healed" by releasing their demonic powers, and that just like in Scooby Doo, the last person you expect to be the demon-in-disguise, of course turns out to be the demon in disguise. These are baleful revelations to be thrust upon audiences so early, because it assures we can never really worry too much about Clare and her constantly escalating limb loss. She just grunts for a few minutes and regenerates her problems away. Even more irritating, Claymore opts to pair Clare with a young boy sidekick, Raki, who sucks. He serves his function, contrasting against Clare's inhumanity, but the moment the dismemberments hit the fan, he just gets in the way. Once we meet other Claymores, we realize that Clare, alien and aloof as she is, is actually the most likeable of the bunch. Raki gets kicked to the curb, and the show immediately improves as a result, until the end arc where they bring him back. Ugh.

The anamorphic transfer is on par with recent Funimation releases -- solid, but not impressive. Silver and purples are vibrant, but the picture exhibits some noticeable ghosting and muddled black levels. Brown and gray tones all kind of blend into a jumbled mess of earth tones. The picture is clean, but a bit of the soft side, lacking fidelity and crispness. Audio comes in English 5.1 surround and Japanese stereo -- another pet peeve. The surround is full and active with excellent use of its channels, spacing out the sword clanging and battle sounds appropriately. Some more punch in the rear channels would be appreciated. Bass response is strong, and even the English voice acting isn't the worst I've ever heard. The Japanese track sounds tinny and ineffective in comparison, and I wish Funimation had confidence in its audience to give the full treatment to the native language track.

Extras are respectable for an anime box set, with six episode commentary tracks, Japanese staff interviews, original TV commercials, cast audition footage, textless songs, and two twenty-four page booklets of character designs and biographies. Not too shabby.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

For lack of a better word, the show suffers from the plague of Dragonball Z dramatic narrative development, as many do these days. Clare is revealed to be the runt, the weakest of the Claymores, teased and accosted by progressively stronger opponents. She would be in trouble, were it not for an endless repository of escalations, grunting, and magical transformations that increase her power level. One minute she's on the ropes, then the enemy says "What?" and next thing you know, they're losing an arm. No matter how powerful the opponent gets -- and they get real dangerous, real fast -- Clare comes out on top due to a never-ending reservoir of secret power. Entertaining to be sure, but it murders the dramatic tension, especially towards the end of the series.

Closing Statement

Claymore brings enough originality and passion to its story to reward audiences and justify the investment of money and time. It is a cold, violent, and often emotionally wrenching journey, but worthwhile. There's something elegant and cruel about its vision of sexually repressed female warriors dismembering each other on the battlefield, a ruthlessness that makes the show just unpredictable enough to stand out amongst a heavily saturated playing field. Add to it some excellent animation and satisfying fight sequences, and Claymore comes out a winner.

The Verdict

Not a series I expected to find much creativity and enjoyment in, so definitely a pleasant surprise. Not guilty.

"Remember the agreement between us. You will seek out the Doctor and destroy him." -- the Black Guardian, to reluctant assassin Turlough

Opening Statement

When he took on the role of the Doctor, a Time Lord from the planet Gallifrey who wanders through time and space running into adventure, Peter Davison was replacing Tom Baker, a popular actor who had helmed Doctor Who for seven seasons. Davison was also the youngest Doctor at the time, since he wasn't quite thirty, let alone the hundreds of years the Doctor claims on his birth certificate. Many Doctor Who fans will say it was the beginning of the end for the series (commentary suggests it lost somewhere around 3 million viewers during Davison's run), something to contemplate as the new series replaces David Tennant with Matt Smith, who now becomes the youngest actor to take on the role.

Doctor Who: The Black Guardian Trilogy features three four-part serials with Peter Davison as the Doctor, but the focus isn't on Davison. It's on Turlough (Mark Strickson), an unearthly boarding school student who becomes one of the Doctor's companions. Trouble is, Turlough is under the control of the Black Guardian. The Black Guardian represents chaos in the Doctor Who universe and first went after Tom Baker's Doctor, according to "The Story of the Guardians," a bonus feature on Disc Three. Perhaps it should have been on Disc One of Doctor Who: The Black Guardian Trilogy, to better get viewers caught up on the backstory.

Facts of the Case

Doctor Who: The Black Guardian Trilogy gives each story its own disc, and remixes "Enlightenment" on Disc Four:

• "Mawdryn Undead"
A forced landing reunites the Doctor with the Brigadier (Nicholas Courtney), or it would if the Brigadier remembered the Doctor. The Brigadier does remember meeting Tegan, though. The Doctor keeps overlooking that obvious clue as he and his companions investigate a spaceship. They meet Mawdryn, an immortal who wishes to die -- with the reluctant Doctor's help.

• "Terminus"
Turlough's sabotage attempt creates some weird psychedelic effects and forces the TARDIS crew to abandon ship. They end up on a ship carrying sufferers from a leprosy-like disease, meet some space pirates, and figure out that a computer could end up creating another big bang. Since the BBC apparently couldn't afford three companions, Nyssa won't make it back to the ship.

• "Enlightenment"
The White Guardian reroutes the TARDIS to a racing yacht in space, where the Doctor finds Eternals competing for an unusual prize: enlightenment. Someone in the race is playing dirty, and Turlough is forced to make a moral decision or two.

The Evidence

Fans of the original Doctor Who no doubt already have strong opinions about whether they like having Peter Davison, the Fifth Doctor, dramatically exclaiming technobabble. Sometimes when watching Davison's speeches, I expect his companions to just stare at him in puzzlement instead of reacting to the crisis, but his occasional overdramatic touches actually bring the show back to a retro serial or '50s B-movie vibe.

In bringing Turlough aboard the TARDIS, the writers and production team were actually trying something different. Trying it in conjunction with a guest appearance by the Brigadier, the former head of UNIT who worked with the Doctor in fighting alien invasions on Earth, may have added a couple of years to the Doctor's original TV lifespan; a making-of on "Mawdryn Undead" notes that Nicholas Courtney's guest turn gave the series a ratings boost. When audiences first meet Mark Strickson's Turlough, he's causing trouble at the boarding school where he's staying, talking a fellow student into joining him on a joyride in the Brigadier's antique car. That starts the action, since the Black Guardian invades his mind while he's knocked out after an accident. From there, Turlough is shadowed by the Black Guardian, who tempted him with the promise of a return to his home planet. The cowardly Turlough doesn't want to kill the Doctor, but he's afraid of the consequences if he doesn't. Thus, he becomes "a character with his own agenda," in TV cliché parlance, trying to defy both the Doctor and the Black Guardian while appearing to comply with their wishes. In practice, Strickson gets to spend a lot of time just looking frightened, but he adds some hints of menace to the role (one not unlike Dr. Smith's role on Lost in Space).

Since these releases have been jumping around a bit, it's obvious that Janet Fielding's Tegan has evolved since Doctor Who: Black Orchid, the last Davison serial I reviewed. Tegan's still outspoken, but she's more interested in the adventures and becoming attached to the Doctor. Not romantically, mind you; this is still original Doctor Who.

While there's a monster of a sort in "Terminus," these episodes have some interesting guest characters and ideas to play around with: the immortals who wish to die in "Mawdryn Undead"; the reluctant guards of a leper ship in "Terminus"; and the Eternals who need humans for "amusement" in "Enlightenment."

Davison's main contribution to the Doctor Who canon may turn out to be DVD commentaries. As usual, he's a lively commentator, discussing his tenure with self-deprecating humor, and he's joined by lots of people who worked with him. He and Mark Strickson are self-deprecating throughout, with Strickson describing some of the discomfort of special effects. With Nicholas Courtney and script editor Eric Saward, they address a time warp in the series (Jon Pertwee's Doctor was in the near-future, while Davison's Doctor was in the present day) and debate whether old or new Who is better as they watch "Mawdryn Undead." Writer Steven Gallagher and actress Sarah Sutton join Davison and Strickson to discuss "Terminus," touching on the possibility that the sets might have been in Alien and the "crumpet costumes" that Nyssa and Tegan wear in this season. Director Fiona Cumming and writer Barbara Clegg join the "Enlightenment" commentary, where topics include eating on screen, changes to the opening of Episode Three, and the slower pace of TV way back in the Eighties.

The special features are quite extensive:

"Mawdryn Undead" includes "Who Wants To Live Forever?," which reveals that Peter Davison actually would; it also discusses the creation of the story, along with some facts about tissue engineering. "Liberty Hall" features a mock newspaper interview with the Brigadier; this sounds like something characters in the new Who might do, but I can't quite accept the old-line Brigadier sitting for a reporter. There are also deleted and extended scenes, film trims, outtakes, continuity announcements, photo galleries (with lots of set shots, and pictures of Tegan and Nyssa in grotesque aging and flesh rotting makeup), and PDF features including a Radio Times article on Nicholas Courtney, original TV listings, studio floor plans (just in case you'd like to turn your rec room into a TARDIS), and CGI effects storyboards.

"Breaking Point," the making-of feature for "Terminus," spends a lot of time discussing the problems, including studio rescheduling and power failures, faced by director Mary Ridge; sadly, she passed away and can't share her anecdotes. "Origins of the Universe" looks at the science of the Big Bang. There are also original storyboards, unused model shots, continuity announcements, and a photo gallery, which includes some shots of the beautiful Janet Fielding lounging on TARDIS sets. PDF features include TV listings and CGI storyboards.

The most unusual special feature comes with "Enlightenment." It's a remix of the serial, with new CGI effects throughout and a faster pace at under 75 minutes. While I enjoyed the effects -- space scenes were redone beautifully and an "eye" that focuses evil thoughts took on a new malevolence -- the faster pace seemed like a more drastic upgrade; there's much less of the running back and forth in confusion to fill time that viewers will find in the original Doctor Who. "Re-enlightenment" shows the director and effects team discussing what they're going to do, with a few points of comparison. The other two episodes have a CGI insert option, which smooths over a few really weak effects, but the change is modest on those episodes.

Other features with "Enlightenment" include "Winner Takes All," the history of the episode; "Casting Off!," a look at guest actors; "Single White Female," profiling episode writer Barbara Clegg, at the time the only woman to have written a Doctor Who script; storyboards and photos; a comparison of edits in Episode Three; film trims; updates on what Sarah Sutton and Mark Strickson are doing today; a Russell Harty Christmas Party clip that finds Peter Davison in pantomime song (that looks like his ex-wife Sandra Dickinson -- Trillian from TV's Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy -- beside him, but it doesn't say); and continuity announcements, which include plugs for a series music CD and a personal appearance by Davison (now accessible only by TARDIS, of course).

If you've got a DVD-ROM drive, you'll enjoy two special PDF features. The Production Bible for Doctor Who told producers, directors, and writers what they could and could not do. There's a lot about budgeting and the like, but you'll also get descriptions of the principals. Oddly, the TARDIS gets more ink than the Doctor (something tells me that as long as the writers remembered that "The Doctor himself is not infallible," that would have been good enough). Radio Times: Doctor Who 20th Anniversary Special features lots of photos, basic backstory, some Doctor Who poetry, and a short story that changes a piece of the show's history (Can they do that?).

The images and sound are newly remastered, so everything's sharp and clear. With new CGI effects taking the place of some of the cheap and cheesy tricks, you could take this for a recent production.

The package indicates that there are two Easter eggs in this set. I found the Easter egg right off on "Mawdryn Undead"; it's some more trivia, and it's found a left arrow click away from "Deleted and Extended Scenes" in the Special Features menu. I couldn't find the Easter egg with "Terminus," though.

Did I leave anything out? How about a text option with details about the production and isolated scores for each episode?

The Rebuttal Witnesses

With another big Doctor Who set coming out (see DVD Verdict's review of The War Games) before the holiday, not to mention recent releases in both David Tennant's Doctor Who and Torchwood, this set could be low on your shopping list. Still, it's a good arc from the original series. Keep it in mind for later if you don't want to shell out now.

If you do buy, there's a chance you'll simply be overwhelmed by all the little snippets in the extras. I realize the BBC doesn't want to get caught letting any more of the show's history disappear (numerous Doctor Who adventures with William Hartnell and Patrick Troughton are lost or damaged), but some of the outtakes are just plain boring.

Closing Statement

The Black Guardian Trilogy shows that Peter Davison's Doctor Who was better than you might have recalled. The Fifth Doctor's companions get some excellent character moments and even guest actors get moments to shine. The package, with extras covering everything, is obviously geared toward fans of the original series, but the storyline about Turlough's moral conflicts is one that could be a good entry point for fans of the new, character-based Doctor Who.

The Verdict

Not guilty. The only thing that could make it better would be plans for a working TARDIS.

"All these evils I have fought, while you have done nothing but observe! True, I am guilty of interference. Just as you are guilty of failing to use your great powers to help those in need!"

Opening Statement

I have been a Whovian since sometime in the mid-'80s. In the 25 or so odd years of my fandom, I had yet to see an entire story featuring the second Doctor, Patrick Troughton. Yes, I've seen The Five Doctors, The Two Doctors, and The Lost in Time Episodes, but I don't consider them Patrick stories. Finally, after many years of pining, that opportunity has arrived. I can finally know I've seen original stories from each incarnation of the good Doctor.

Facts of the Case

The Doctor, Jamie (Frasier Hines), and Zoe (Wendy Padbury) materialize on Earth in 1917, in the middle of a World War I battle. Or so they think. Taken prisoner by the Allies, the trio is believed to be enemy spies. But as they escape the firing squad, the Doctor becomes suspicious that there is more going on. Soon he discovers that they aren't on Earth but on some distant planet where humans are kidnapped out of time, from times of war and tricked into believing they're still on Earth fighting. It's all part of a grand experiment conducted by the War Lord and the War Chief. As the Doctor, Jamie, and Zoe struggle to find the truth, crossing through time zones into various wars, they are about to discover a horrible truth: Is another one of the Doctor's race, another Time Lord, controlling these events?

The Evidence

Doctor Who: The War Games is an odd way to introduce oneself to the second Doctor. It's peculiar in that it's Patrick's final episode and that it's Doctor Who's one and only ten-part story. The details of the genesis of the ten-story arc are well detailed in the bonus materials so I'll not run spoiler on that for you here. Instead, I'll take just a brief moment to talk about a seasoned Whovian's impression of a story from 40 years ago.

I didn't have any preconceptions about this story before I started. I was simply excited to view a Troughton story, but I will admit a bit of worry about its length -- a good four hours. So as I sat down and watched, I immersed myself in the world of the second Doctor and his final adventure. It seemed that in no time the first episode was over, then the second, the third, and so on until the end. For such a lengthy story, it goes by quite briskly. It's another enjoyable romp in the wild adventures of the Doctor. I've heard and read a few comments saying that the episode has too much filler, and that it needs a good trimming. In fact, many say it's a good four-part story. While it's true that filler is abundant and you get a bit nauseous watching the Doctor go in circles, the back-story validates -- if not excuses -- the redundancy and story stretching. I give it a pass, especially when taken in the bigger historical significance of the Great Story Purge.

Perhaps what kept me interested and made the time pass quickly is the fact that "The War Games" is a regeneration episode. What Whovian doesn't salivate over the regeneration stories, even if you hate to see your favorite Doctor leave? Akin to my circumstance with "The War Games," I also have not seen its successor episode, "Spearhead from Space," that introduces the Third Doctor, Jon Pertwee. I was thus unprepared for the lack of a regeneration sequence. All previous episodes show one Doctor to the other (in some manner (I know about Colin/Sylvester)), but there's nothing in this one. He's propelled down some temporal corridor, asking the Time Lords to stop. My main disappointment is nine episodes of build-up to a lackluster, missing regeneration.

Do I go into the bigger significance of the tenth episode, where we learn more of the background of the good Doctor? I don't think that's necessary. Any Whovian already knows how the first inklings of the mysterious Time Lords are detailed, so I'll leave it at that. Forty years ago I'm sure it was quite the buzz, but looking back at it from my context left me a bit flat -- seeing how I already knew these revelations and how the new series has changed just about everything.

This release from the magicians at The Restoration Team is, sadly, the worst I have seen from them. You can always expect top-notch work, turning old marred prints into clean, lustrous transfers; but it wasn't so for me in this case. That is not to say I think they slacked off on this release. I went to their website and read their article on this release (you should too) and was expecting a discussion that would corroborate and explain the various flaws and defects I saw. That was not the case. It appears, from their end, they found quality negatives and have a clean transfer. That is not what I saw. Throughout the presentation were all manner of video flaws and noise. The worst of it was the obvious horizontal and vertical banding and said noise. Specifically, in one of the episodes someone is firing a machine gun towards the camera. The flash from the gun is causing coincident noise all around the gun on the print. The gun shoots and the noise appears. In addition to this, there were many instances of poor black definition (this is a black and white print) and poor detail. None of these problems occur throughout the entirety of the story, and you are often treated to scenes with excellent detail and black resolution. But as I stated, I expected validation of this in their article; as they are always very forward and truthful in the problems they face and problems they leave behind. In that my print doesn't mesh to their article, I am curious if I somehow received a bad pressing. With all this pointed out, I am not especially bothered by the problems. Yes, they are annoying and I expected a better presentation, but knowing of this story's age and of the dilemma of the Great Purge, I am willing to cut this story a lot of slack. The audio portion of the disc is far less problematic, as the Dolby Digital mono track presents all dialogue, music, and effects cleanly without distortion.

Being a Restoration Team release means that this disc will have a bounty of bonus features, and it is true to form. Before I list and briefly explain what's on the set, let me say that the bonus features in this disc have a different approach than all the other discs I've viewed. In all other instances, the bonus features really focus in on the episode and give a lot of material about the story, its background, how it was produced, and so forth. Bonus features then usually talk about that Doctor and some other ancillary, related material. In the case of "The War Games," it's the opposite. While there are features that focus squarely on this story and Patrick, the vast majority of the material is ancillary, talking about Doctor Who in general. Let's see what we've got:

• Audio Commentary with Terrence Dicks (writer), Wendy Padbury, Jane Sherwin (Lady Jennifer Buckingham from the story), and Frazier Hines: Your standard commentary track, with love. The four discuss the story and always have something throughout the four hours. It's a good listen.

• Production Info Track: Filled with all manner of detail on the ten episodes. Some of it, of course, is repeated in other bonus materials. Still, there's rather a moment where you're not reading.

• "War Zone" (36:22): This is the story specific, making-of featurette. My apologies, but oh my, bad British teeth abound.

• "Shades of Grey" (24:46): A look at the history and character of black and white television shows on the BBC.

• "Now and Then" (9:35): Revisiting the locations used in the story.

• "The Doctor's Composer" (17:33): A look at Dudley Simpson, the most prolific of Whovian composers.

• "Sylvia James -- In Conversation" (8:27): Sylvia James reminisces about her time on the show. All I could wonder as I watched is who is Sylvia James? OK, she's the makeup designer but...

• "Talking About Regeneration" (24:25): A look at all of the Doctor's regenerations.

• "Time Zones" (15:22): More history about the wars than discussion of the zones as used in the story.

• "Stripped for Action -- The 2nd Doctor" (13:47): A discussion of Doctor Who in the comics, focusing on the adventures of the second Doctor.

• "On Target -- Malcolm Hulke" (20:01): This is a fawning tribute to Malcolm Hulke, whom many believe to be the finest writer to adapt screenplays to books.

• "Devious" with optional commentary (12:17): An amateur video by people who somehow knew somebody who knew somebody which led them to getting Jon Pertwee to come in and film the missing regeneration scene. It's pretty cheesy, a bit confusing at first; but the commentary by those that put it together help smooth out the bumps.

Rounding out the features are a photo gallery (6:33) and PDF files that you can access on your computer. These PDFs contain the Radio Times listings, the BBC Enterprises sales list, and the original design plans of the SIDRAT.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Just one minor quibble and that's about the music. There's a theme in the episode that plays quite often; it's pretty much the dominant theme heard whenever you're in 1917. Seeing as we're in 1917 we hear it a lot. We hear it way too much.

Closing Statement

I think it was 1988 or 1989 and a Doctor Who convention came to Cleveland, Ohio, where I lived at the time. I was a newbie fan, but the girl who introduced me to the show swayed me to attend. I'm glad I did as it was a two Doctor convention: Colin Baker and Sylvester McCoy. As everyone is sitting around waiting for one or the other or both actors to come on stage, the lights dim and something begins to play on a projection screen. We soon see Colin Baker talking directly to the audience, in character as the Doctor, smug as ever. I don't recall exactly what he says at the start but it soon devolves into "I am the Doctor. I have always been the Doctor, and I will always be the Doctor. I am the Doctor! I am the Doctor! I am the Doctor!" During this third iteration the picture gets a bit fuzzy and Colin turns into Sylvester who takes over the mantra, "I am the Doctor." He then goes on to say, "Well, you always wanted a regeneration, didn't you?" And the crowd bursts out into wild applause.

Now I know there have been two regenerations that have been less than "complete," and I learned that with "The War Games." Despite any problems I have with this disc with odd video problems, story padding, bonus features that are a bit broad, I'm still recommending this disc without hesitation. It's an important episode in the great pantheon of Who, deserving of a place on your shelf. You get four hours of entertainment and hours more bonus material.

The Verdict

Doctor Who: The War Games is hereby found guilty of being giddy.

Once you're in, there's no way out.

Opening Statement

Here's the latest entry in the emerging genre of a-bunch-of-strangers-get-trapped-in-a-room-where-bad-things-happen-for-90-minutes.

Facts of the Case

Four people, recruited to take part in a study, find themselves in a sterile, white room with no clear idea what they have to do. Boredom turns to terror, when one of the scientists (Peter Stormare, Prison Break) comes in, makes small talk and shoots one of them in the head. Panic ensues, odd challenges are delivered from unknown watchers, and the body count slowly rises.

Turns out, these folks are unwitting test subjects in a top secret government research program. For the newest analyst (Chloe Sevigny), the horrors that unspool -- and the ultimate revelation of the purpose of "the killing room" -- will conflict her conscience.

The Evidence

The Killing Room is a polished, well-acted thriller that messes around with the formula a bit, before imploding with its own silly endgame.

The curve ball the filmmakers throw is nifty, a welcome diversion to the way these things usually shake out. Instead of having the characters themselves figure out what the @#$% is going on, we get a behind-the-scenes peek at the folks pulling the strings. There is still plenty of mystery, as the actual point to all the mayhem isn't unveiled until the very end. Sevigny's character asks at first, but is promptly denied, leaving the audience twisting in the wind. Pretty much the only thing that can be deduced is that this benefits national security or something, not that the Jigsaw killer or whoever is just messing around with these fools.

This approach has its ups and downs. On the positive side, it is a shake-up to what the textbook says should happen, and the chatter behind the glass as the nameless bureaucrats run around to pull the scenario together is cool. Plus, Sevigny gets some material to work with as the conflicted newbie and, essentially, our window into this whacked-out world. The trade-off, however, is a dip in the tension. The unknown manipulator, as familiar a convention as it may have become, does at least bring with it a good amount of suspense; with the curtain pulled, the entirety of the suspense rests on the question: why in the world are these people doing all of this crap?

Which brings us to the self-inflicted mortal wound of a plot twist. It's a testament to the plotting of the film that I had no clue what was coming; hey, there are only so many things the government can be up to, right? Since The Killing Room is relatively grounded in reality, they weren't re-animating Revolutionary War zombies or something. I was certainly surprised by the finale, what a shockingly stupid conclusion. In fact, it's one of the dumbest twists I've seen in a while. I don't know how it ever made it past the first draft of the screenplay.

That's all I'll say. You're going to have to experience this one yourself.

A bare bones DVD awaits: 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen, 5.1 Dolby Digital surround, no extras.

Closing Statement

A decent thriller shoots itself in the groin with a laughable twist. Pass on this one.

The Verdict

Guilty. Remodel the killing room into a nice den or vestibule.

The good news is your dates are here. The bad news is...they're dead.

Opening Statement

It's hard to be a fan of Eighties horror films. For every great film that lives up to its fantastic cover art, there's a dozen flicks that probably shouldn't even have been made. Now that it's almost two decades since the Eighties were over and numerous DVD houses have minded the era for various releases, it's getting harder and harder to get excited about releases of catalog titles from the era. Then along comes a film like Night of the Creeps, which has long been MIA from home video, and I admit I got my hopes up. I've seen the film on so many "most wanted" lists over the last decade that I knew it had to be special, and this new release from Sony shows that the wait was worth it. Following in the footsteps of The Monster Squad (another Fred Dekker film), this DVD release of Night of the Creeps provides good, clean fun wrapped up in a solid package filled with informative extras.

Facts of the Case

It's all about a girl. When a college geek falls in love with a sorority girl, he convinces his best friend to pledge a fraternity with him in the hopes of winning the young lady's heart. Since the two gentlemen aren't exactly frat material, they're sent on a mission to steal a corpse to prove their loyalty. Instead of finding a corpse, they accidently unleash a cryogenically preserved body and the alien experiment living inside it. Suddenly, the dead are coming back to life and all hell is breaking loose.

The Evidence

I knew that James Gunn's fantastic little horror homage Slither borrowed a lot of different things from a lot of different movies, but I had no idea it owed so much to a single film: Night of the Creeps. Both films share the basic idea of space-slugs that turn people into zombie-like creatures (as well as a penchant for naming many of the characters/locations after famous horror film directors). Both films feature a solid blend of humor and horror, with enough gore to go around. Finally, both films succeed because they don't take themselves too seriously.

Don't get me wrong, Night of the Creeps easily qualifies as a "bad" movie: the characters and situations are insane, the dialogue goofy, the effects over-the-top, and the hairstyles are eye-watering. And yet, I had a heck of a lot more fun watching Night of the Creeps than I have watching a contemporary horror film since...well, since Slither. Part of the success of the film is the way it refuses to take itself seriously, which means that as often as not I laughed with the film instead of at when things got cheesy. The film is also helped by a couple of strong performances in the lead roles of the college nerds. They're just pathetic enough to be underdogs, without ever sliding over into obnoxious and unsympathetic. The rest of the actors are better than most horror films get as well. It's fun to play "spot the actor," as several famous character actors appear in the film, including Tom Atkins (most recently the sheriff in My Bloody Valentine remake) and David Paymer (from Drag Me to Hell, amongst others).

The film also doesn't skimp on the pacing. With the exception of a few scenes early in the second act, the film picks up speed and moves toward the inevitable climatic battle with all due speed. Even a prologue that starts on an alien space ship in the Fifties where an axe murderer is on the loose can't stop the juggernaut of reanimated corpses. Once everyone is on board with the idea that strange things are afoot, the film doesn't let up with the action or the gore.

Fans have been waiting a long time for Night of the Creeps to arrive on digital disc, and I'm happy to report that the wait was worth it. Everything starts out with a great transfer, with strong blacks, excellent color rendition, and no significant compression problems that I could see. For a twenty-plus-year-old film, Night of the Creeps looks fantastic. The sound track has been remastered into a 5.1 surround mix and the results are good if not spectacular. Those wonderful Eighties synths are in full force, and the dialogue is crisp and clear.

Extras, though, are where this disc really shines. There are two commentaries, one features director Dekker (and a moderator), and the other is a cast commentary. Both are fun tracks that illuminate the making of the film, as well as its fate since release, not to mention how the film affected all their lives. For more on the film, we get "Thrill Me: Making Night of the Creeps," which runs for just shy of an hour. It's split into five segments, each of which tackles a different aspect of the film, from casting to the film's cult status. Then, there's the original theatrical ending (which is what separates this "director's cut" from the theatrical version), as well as several deleted scenes and the film's trailer. There's also a 20-minute featurette that focuses on the career of Tom Atkins, and a text-based trivia track.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

I'm not gonna lie: you need a bit of a soft-spot for the Eighties to appreciate Night of the Creeps from the big hair to the geek protagonists, every frame screams "Me Decade." If that's not your bag, I totally understand, but as a child of the Eighties, I can't help but love it.

Although I never saw the film as a kid, I have a fond place in my heart for the original VHS box art, with the corpse in the window. This new cover art isn't horrifying, in fact it may capture the spirit of the film better than the old art, but I miss that old picture.

Closing Statement

With this release, Night of the Creeps easily ascends to the pantheon of Eighties cult horror films. I will proudly place it on the shelf next to my Killer Klowns from Outer Space DVD. I can think of no better endorsement than that.

The Verdict

Night of the Creeps is good ol' fashioned horror-comedy fun. Not guilty.

The prayers of the dead are about to be answered.

Opening Statement

We all tire of the same stories, plots, and complications in movies. It seems Hollywood sticks with a few tried and true (a.k.a. tired) ideas and tweaks them ad infinitum to churn out new movies. Old ideas bore us and we pounce on something fresh and new, craving something we've not seen before. Not Forgotten, for me, is a new take on an old idea. The question is, how well does it work?

Facts of the Case

Jack Bishop (Simon Baker, The Mentalist) works for a bank in the small town of Del Rio, Texas, which sits right on the border with Mexico. He is a widower but has recently married the beautiful Amaya (Paz Vega, The Spirit), and is father to his precocious daughter, Toby (Chloe Moretz, My Friends Tigger and Pooh). Life seems pretty good for the Bishop family until Toby is kidnapped. This horrible situation will compel Jack to revisit his past, visit Mexico, and uncover a secret that has been years in the making.

The Evidence

Not Forgotten is a movie harboring a secret. It takes the slow boil route to get you to that big reveal, dropping subtle hints along the way. To get there, the movie presents many a hint, innuendo, allusion, homage, and subtext to religion. Not just any religion, but an esoteric and strange outshoot of Catholicism called La Santa Muerte. Is it a devout adoration of the Virgin Mary or is it devil worship? That's a question posited in our journey with Jack Bishop.

Skipping to that "big" ending, I must admit I enjoyed the twist the movie threw at me. It was a decent payoff to a story that didn't entirely make sense until that point. And it was one I didn't see coming until it was staring back at me. I wasn't sure that I would like Not Forgotten, but it does redeem itself with its clever plotting. But there's also a problem with the plotting; it's plodding. It takes our movie quite a long time to put all of the pieces in place, dragging on, letting my attention wander. What's the point of this? Why is she doing that? When is something going to happen? I'll admit part of my dismay with the first half of the movie is that I wasn't getting all the allusions and hints coming at me. I was simply in "view mode" and wasn't looking for clues beyond the superficial, so I was doing the movie a disservice by not working with it. Still, a movie should work even for slightly disinterested viewers like me.

With that said, Not Forgotten isn't a great movie. It's a fairly standard idea -- happy family torn asunder by big peril -- with just a different flavor to it. The ending makes it different only in that I haven't seen such motivation in a protagonist before; yet all the rest is fairly standard. My praise, lukewarm as it is, is probably some of the kinder words given to the film, which was given an insignificant theatrical release before arrived on video.

I believe this is my first Blu from Anchor Bay, and upon seeing their name I had a fleeting thought that this disc might not be one of the better ones I'll ever watch. That's an unfair prejudice, but it is based on lackluster results I've had with some of their DVDs. Though not a bad disc, Not Forgotten isn't a great one; it's right in the middle. The 2.40:1, 1080p video transfer is a bit hard to judge because of director Dror Soref's choice of palettes. The beginning of the movie often appears washed out, oversaturated, with unnatural colors and weak blacks. Detail and definition in the early stages of the movie is mixed but usually skews a bit soft. In the latter half of the movie, as the tone of the movie gets darker, so literally does the movie. All the warmth and light is sucked away, shifting to many a dark scene. In this case, blacks are often muddy, making it difficult to see exactly what's going on in scenes. Overall, the movie isn't as crisp and clear as it should be -- but Blu should be able to handle this well. I noticed a few instances in a couple of panning shots of background objects aliasing and stuttering. The uncompressed PCM 5.1 mix also has a few problems with the foremost being inconsistent recording levels. Many a time I simply couldn't hear the dialogue and found I had to rewind, turn it up, or turn on the subtitles. It wasn't because of other background sounds; it was just the voices dropped to a mere whisper. For the majority of the movie, there's not much use for the surrounds or subwoofer; but at the end of the movie, as we spend more time in Mexico, we get a big kick in ambience and bass power. I was pleased by the random, quality use of subtle surrounds (e.g. a nice, distant wolf howl), but I was displeased by a few snaps I heard from the rear speakers. (I listened to these snaps several times, and I'm unsure if it's part of the mix or an error. It sounds more to the latter than the former.) In all, the sound design, in essence, mirrors the palette choices.

The disc comes with just a few bonus items. First is an audio commentary track by Dror Soref and Tomás Romero (co-writer and associate producer). It was a better commentary than I was expecting. The two share a bunch of information about their thoughts on the movie, making the movie, and other background information that helped make Not Forgotten "better" in my mind...after the fact. They just fleshed out a lot of details that weren't readily apparent as I watched (e.g. the religious bits). Next is a making-of featurette (6:20) narrated by Soref that gives an overall summation of the movie. The odd part is that it is recorded horribly, like someone from a high school A/V club. Last up is the theatrical trailer.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

How about a little love for the actors in Not Forgotten? In retrospect I realized that the actors do very good work in the movie, taking a combination of old and new ideas and presenting it with fresh energy. Everyone fell into their roles, making it believable, and I'll give special props to the young Chloe Moretz, who plays Toby. She gives a quality performance for someone her age.

Closing Statement

Not Forgotten is a movie with big ideas, big plans, and big desires. It wants to present something new to us, bringing in different religious perspectives and keeping us off balance by juxtaposing the worlds of a dangerous Mexico and a sleepy United States. Yet if it weren't for the ending, there wouldn't be any reason to talk about the movie. It's a fairly straightforward tale with a twist, and that tale does not unfold in a riveting fashion. Add to that transfers that are somewhat sketchy and bonus materials that aren't all that special and I'm not sure this is one you need to buy. At best, it's a rental but that's a bit of a stretch as well. It's one you can wait to see on cable.

The Verdict

Not Forgotten is hereby found guilty of...of...of...oh, I forgot what it was.

It's the summer's biggest blockbuster.

The Case

WWE: SummerSlam 2009 is wrestling's biggest pay-per-view event each summer, and this year, the show descended on Los Angeles. Here's the complete lineup:

• Rey Mysterio vs. Dolph Ziggler in an Intercontinental Championship Match
Opening this year's WWE: SummerSlam are Rey Mysterio and Dolph Ziggler, who both deliver a surprisingly solid opener with this title match. Clocking in at 12 minutes, it's also a long enough matchup, giving both wrestlers plenty of opportunities to show off their skills and fire up the audience with a variety of high-risk maneuvers and a whole bunch of counter moves. For a PPV opening battle, this one delivers the goods, which is exactly what WWE fans expect from such an event.

• MVP vs. Jack Swagger
At 7 minutes, the match between MVP and Swagger is shorter and less energetic than its predecessor. That said, this is by no means a disappointment. The action between the two WWE stars slows down a bit here and there, but all in all, they offer a clean, well-coordinated show stuffed with enough powerful moves. This is one of those matches that are quite enjoyable to watch but still end up being forgettable in the end. Nevertheless, we're off to a solid start.

• Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. Cryme Tyme in a Unified Tag Team Title Match
One thing is for certain: all four athletes approach this title match with the right attitude. Big Show looks a little out of place at times, but other than that, he and his partner put on a decent show against the vibrant Cryme Tyme team. Both teams execute a variety of different maneuvers. While some are interesting, others fail to impress. A poor ending damages this otherwise fast-paced battle.

• Kane vs. Great Khali
It had to happen. While the past three matches promised a really good show, this 6-minute battle between Kane and Great Khali is pretty lame. Khali's enormous size and weight slow him down most of the time, which obviously slows down most of the action inside the ring. Sure, both men deliver a variety of very powerful punches, but none of it is amusing enough to watch for more than a minute or two. They just should've had Kane wrestle someone else; that would've worked way better in this context.

• D-Generation X vs. Legacy
No title is on the line in this tag team match, and that's just fine. Followed by a superb entrance by DX, this 18-minute fight really gets the crowd going. Even though Triple H and Shawn Michaels are the more experienced wrestlers, Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase successfully contribute to what is a well-coordinated, entertaining fight filled with powerful, high-risk maneuvers and some interesting team action. I wouldn't count this one among the best tag team matches I've seen at PPVs this year, but it's anything but dull. Good match.

• Christian vs. William Regal in a ECW Championship Match
Ah! The WWE writers sure know how to slow things down during a pay-per-view by totally messing up at least one match. Sadly enough, they decided to sacrifice the ECW Championship match this time. The matchup between Christian and Regal lasts for only 10 seconds, and not one of them is worth it. Enough said.

• Randy Orton vs. John Cena in a WWE Championship Match
Drawing closer to our main event, it's time for Orton and Cena to face off for the WWE title, and to be honest with you, this one failed to win me over. I wouldn't call it a boring matchup, but the several twists the show's writer decided to include just feel out of place. Orton and Cena are both flexible athletes with the necessary power to battle for a while, but somehow, this 21-minute faceoff doesn't really give them the chance to make complete use of their skills. It's ridiculous.

• Jeff Hardy vs. CM Punk in a TLC Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Luckily, the 20-minute main event rocks, with Punk and Hardy giving it their best to impress viewers via a selection of crazy moves using tables, chairs, and ladders. Both men really seem to push their own boundaries at times, and that's exactly what makes this hardcore battle so engaging. The high-risk maneuvers look impressive, and all the hits with chairs and ladders add to the match's dramatic value. Plus, you'll get to see Hardy pull off a totally insane dive that easily turns this one into the highlight of the entire PPV. It's without a doubt a strong way to finish a decent show.

WWE: SummerSlam 2009 is presented in full frame, and I have no complaints when it comes to the quality of both picture and sound. It looks and sounds good.

The bonus material on the disc includes a short clip taken from a 15-Diva Battle Royal match recorded before the live broadcast of the PPV. It's too bad they didn't include the entire match, because watching a brief recap of it is pretty much a waste of time. My suggestion to the WWE: beef up these special features or just drop them all together.

WWE: SummerSlam 2009 is undoubtedly one of the better WWE pay-per-views this year. Despite three forgettable matches, it still offers some great wrestling action.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

He wrote the book on life's big questions. But the truth is he hasn't got a clue.

Opening Statement

"Yes, there is a hell. Hell is other people."

Facts of the Case

Arlen Faber (Jeff Daniels, Dumb and Dumber) is the author of a book entitled Me and God. Upon its publication, the book took the world of literature by storm, inspiring individuals all around the world with its supposedly true story about Arlen's encounter with God. The book purports to offer many of the answers to life's big questions (Why is there pain in the world? What's the point of praying if it doesn't seem like God is responding?), and it has remained a major part of the religious book market for 20 years. Arlen himself has become a recluse, refusing to grant interviews and never revealing his whereabouts to anyone other than his agent (Nora Dunn, Pineapple Express). Despite his highly spiritual reputation, Arlen doesn't really like people very much. He adamantly denies that he is actually Arlen Faber to anyone he meets, lest they attempt to engage him in conversation and ask him those oh-so-annoying questions.

One day, Arlen hurts his back. Writhing on the floor in misery, he finally decides to go out and seek help. He visits a chiropractor named Elizabeth (Lauren Graham, Bad Santa), and becomes immediately enraptured with her. Perhaps it's because she is a kind and charming woman, but it's likely because he hasn't had any sort of substantial contact with another person in so very long. Feeling particularly magnanimous, Arlen decides to share his true identity with Elizabeth. She doesn't react. It seems she's the only person on the planet who has never heard of him. As their relationship develops, Arlen struggles in his attempts to keep things going smoothly. Why is it that the man who seems to have all the answers to life's big questions can't figure out something as simple as love? Hmmm? Why is that? Might it be that The Answer Man doesn't have all the answers?

The Evidence

I was somewhat startled by a moment very early in The Answer Man. The film's opening credits montage gives us an idea of just what sort of a book Me and God is (a cross between The Purpose-Driven Life and Chicken Soup for the Soul) and how successful it has been (it apparently takes in a steady 10 percent of "The God Market"). We're then introduced to Faber. He's sitting in his house attempting to do some form of yoga. Then the doorbell rings (this is where the surprising moment comes in). Faber gets up and starts spewing angry obscenities. It's not the fact that Faber started swearing so much as the manner in which this scene is presented: underscored by a piece of broad, over-the-top wacky-sax music, which practically screams, "Hahahaha, the spiritual guy is a foul-mouthed ordinary person!" Sure, it's just a piece of music. But it changes so much, immediately changing my impression of what I thought the movie was going to be. There were a lot of things I thought The Answer Man might be, but I didn't anticipate that it would be...well...blatantly silly.

And yet, that is precisely what it is. For a while, anyway. The film's first act is essentially a variation on the Bob Saget joke. You may remember Saget from such innocuous family fare as Full House and America's Funniest Home Videos. During the past decade or so, Saget has made a living on filthy routines that all basically boil down to, "I'm filthy and dirty, not squeaky-clean like you thought I was!" Likewise, The Answer Man constantly attempts to wring humor out of the fact that this much-respected and mythical writer is just an ordinary guy who is easily irritated. It's only mildly amusing the first time, and it just gets progressively less funny each time. This problem is not the fault of Daniels, but the screenplay. Daniels is more than solid in the lead role, creating a convincing and interesting character. It's just a shame that the script doesn't provide him with more interesting things to do. When the film isn't relying on the Bob Saget joke, it turns in equally uninspired material. There is a moment in which a group of people appear at Arlen's doorstep and start singing, "What a Friend We Have in Arlen." Really?

So the comedy doesn't really work terribly well. How about the romance/drama element? Eh, it's not much better. Daniels and Graham are both reasonably good, but for some reason they don't seem to generate much chemistry together. Several of their scenes seem awkward and just a little off, as if the director should have suggested another take or two but didn't (entirely possible, given that this is the first film director John Hindman has helmed). The whole thing builds up to the revelation that we start expecting immediately: that Arlen Faber doesn't have all the answers (gasp!). The weird thing is that most of the other characters are as shocked as we are supposed to be when they hear this news. There isn't a single person who suggests, "You actually had a conversation with God and he gave you the answers to all of life's questions? You sound like the bull -- -- man to me."

Last and definitely least is a terrible subplot about a young bookstore owner named Kris Lucas (Lou Taylor Pucci, Southland Tales). Kris is struggling with alcoholism, and when he hears that Arlen lives in the neighborhood he turns to Arlen for answers. Arlen is cranky and mean, but agrees to give Kris one answer a day if Kris will purchase some of his used books (right, yeah, sure). When these scenes veer into heavy emotional territory (falling off the wagon, dead fathers, contemplated suicide), the movie goes completely off the rails. The material is terribly heavy-handed and flat-out poorly performed by Pucci. Elsewhere, talented young indie actresses like Olivia Thirlby (Bored to Death) and Kat Dennings (The 40-Year-Old Virgin) have almost nothing to do.

The film looks good in high definition, even if this isn't that sort of movie that begs to get a Blu-ray transfer. It's a casual, conversational film that never really attempts anything ambitious visually, but the image is clear and (mostly) clean. Why mostly? Oddly enough, I noticed what appeared to be a small measure of scratches and flecks during a couple of the early scenes. That seems a little trange for a new release like this one. Otherwise, detail is strong, blacks are reasonably deep and shading is solid. Audio is similarly effective, with the minimal sound design blending smoothly with the dialogue and the energetic score. There isn't a single moment that will really make your subwoofer kick into gear or wow you in any significant way, though. Extras include a commentary with Hindman, Graham and producer Kevin Messnick, a 10-minute piece spotlighting the characters called "Characters in The Answer Man," a 10-minute making-of bit called "The Answer Man: From Concept to Creation," and another very brief making-of piece produced by HDNet.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

I've said almost nothing but negative things about the film as a whole, but there are elements that work. Hindman's screenplay may get the big things wrong, but a lot of the dialogue is sharp and witty, striking some amusing notes that kept me smiling from time to time despite the heavy level of dreck.

Closing Statement

I just got off the phone with God, and he told me to tell you that he's disappointed in this film due to its poor craftsmanship, reliance on clichés and general lack of insight. Don't shoot the messenger.

The Verdict

Guilty.

What do you really want?

The Case

A young man (Jason Ritter, W.) spends his days working behind the counter of a Cinefile video store in L.A. He's smitten with an unusual young woman (Marianna Palka) who comes in every day to rent '70s porn. However, talking to her turns out to be futile. He tries staking out her apartment and bringing her free rentals, but she's still uninterested. It's only when he crafts a lie about a dying Great Aunt does she actually let him into her apartment and, consequently, into her shambled life.

His sincere approach doesn't wash well with her, as she seems to be armed with nothing but insults. Somehow, he's gets her approval to bringing her dinner every night and then sleep in her bed (a relief from spending nights in his car). However, she does lay out certain rules when it comes to his visits. She doesn't like to be touched, she never wants to have sex, and she really doesn't even care for conversation. Still, it's only a matter of time before she gives in to his charm and emerges from her brittle shell of a past.

I'm afraid this plot description doesn't really do Good Dick justice. If this film sounds strange and slight, it is. This confident indie is more concerned with character and idiosyncrasies than a linear plot. Both of the leads are nameless, which is clearly intentional on the part of Palka, who makes her writing and directing debut here. The title suggests something lurid and dirty, but in fact it makes sense when you consider how her character treats Ritter's. I don't want to get too specific, mind you.

What Good Dick really boils down to is being a smooth, observant romantic comedy about two lost souls and how their eccentricities clash. She's addicted to erotica, cigarettes and Super Big Gulps. He's homeless and only seems to get along with his co-workers at the video store. His attempts to talk to her at first can make one queasy, as he enters stalker mode and acts like a Peeping Tom at times. Ritter, as well as the audience, wonders why she is so anti-social and insists on staying in her apartment. Their relationship develops in a really natural way, and it's unpredictable because of Palka's erratic behavior and how Ritter deals with it.

Aside from some harsh language, the film never gets disturbing. There's a loopy sense of humor which Palka employs to great advantage, particularly in the verbal exchanges between her and Ritter. The numerous scenes of Ritter chatting with his co-workers, which include Apatow alumni Martin Starr, are also very amusing to watch. There's a brief scene with Tom Arnold, who plays Palka's father with evil relish. Plus, the film's final moments are also heartbreaking and graceful. Good Dick works even if it's bit too low-key and impotent at times.

Regardless, it's an auspicious debut by Palka, and I look forward to what she does next. If anything, she and Ritter share a memorable chemistry onscreen. They've been a real-life couple for about 10 years now, and they even formed their own production company (Morning Knight) after studying acting together at the Atlantic Theater Company. By the way, Jason is the son of the late John Ritter (one of my favorite actors) who became famous playing Jack Tripper on Three's Company. Jason's mother, Nancy Morgan, can be seen briefly in Good Dick as a waitress.

Premiering at Sundance in early 2008, Good Dick has finally made it to DVD courtesy of Phase 4 Films. The film was shot on video, so the picture is obviously not quite as sharp as big-budget studio films, with a moderate amount of grain and subdued colors. Still, the 1.85:1 anamorphic print is more than acceptable, with good flesh tones and well-captured outdoor shots. On the audio side, we have a 5.1 Surround track which gives full attention to Jared Nelson Smith's sweet score, and dialogue is easily heard on all fronts. The only scene which suffers is the one in Arnold's office which is full of echoes. Spanish subtitles and English closed captioning are also provided.

Extras begin with "Good Dick Goes To Sundance," which runs about an hour. We see how the film was presented at the festival, and it's fascinating to see the process. We get extended comments from Palka, Ritter, and the other cast members via Q&A sessions, as well as hear the audience reaction after the film's screening. This feature pretty much makes up for the absence of a commentary track. Also included is a 12-minute Gag Reel which supplies some laughs, while also being a cool look at the actors' enthusiasm while making the film.

The Verdict

Not guilty!

The story of a girl, her pimp, and her knight in shining armor!

The Case

In 1981, German film director Uli Edel (Last Exit To Brooklyn, Body Of Evidence) made Christiane F., which depicted a 12-year old girl on heroin and PCP. I've never seen it, but evidently it got high praise and put Edel on the map. Since it was a big hit, it's no wonder other filmmakers scrambled to repeat its success, and one was exploitation master Rino Di Silvestro (Women In Cell Block 7). Sleazing up the story as much as he could, Silvestro -- under the pseudonym Axel Berger -- created an over-the-top, grungy saga which contained everything from graphic sex to extreme drug use. When the back of the DVD case refers to Hanna D. as a "filth-fest," you know it's not sugar-coating what's on display.

Innocent Hanna (Ann-Gisel Glass, Salut Cousin!) is a 16-year-old girl who's been using her body for some time to support her and her unstable mother (Karin Schubert, Bluebeard). In order to get some quick cash, she journeys to Vondel Park, a haven for prostitutes and heroin addicts. After she is hounded and chased away by the other hookers, Hanna is picked up by a cyclist (Fausto Lombardi, Only You), who's taken aback at her ethereal beauty. He insists on becoming her pimp, promising to rake in tons of money for the both of them. However, he also insists on her taking heroin, which soon takes a toll on her physically. Later, she meets the handsome, stable Alex (Sebastiano Somma, Hannibal) who falls in love her. Will Hanna be able to escape from the clutches of her pimp to be with her dream man?

Filmed in Italian, but dubbed in English, Hanna D. is a god-awful mess on every level imaginable. There is so much here which screams ineptness, it's a real wonder the film was able to find any sense of cohesion in its mind-numbing storyline. Logical transitions are non-existent. Most of the acting, particularly from Schubert, is nauseatingly bad. The film seems more interested in showing different ways a person could take heroin (whether it's through the arm, the head, the eye, or under the tongue) instead of us learning about the characters. There's also no shortage of simulated sex scenes, with lots of full-frontal nudity, mostly provided by Hanna herself. I should despise Hanna D. for all it represents and shows for the sake of exploitative entertainment.

While I was watching it, however, I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. Silvestro (who also wrote the script) may be out to shock, but he succeeds in his own disturbing way. When Hanna finds herself in prison, there is a girl working for her pimp on the inside who has managed to smuggle drugs in her anus. There's a sequence late in the film which shows Hanna's "rehabilitation" from her drug addiction, emphasized by her coughing up chunks of violet-colored vomit. Amidst all of this unpleasantness, Silvestro injects a fairy-tale subplot involving Alex and Hanna's relationship, punctuated by sweet, karaoke-like love songs on the soundtrack! There are also certain moments where it's impossible not to laugh. The final showdown between Alex and pimp, for instance, is so funny it has to be seen to be believed.

This is all I'm saying: Hanna D. is an absolute must-see for fans of trash cinema, as it uses every rule in the book, breaks them, and then pisses all over them. Somehow, it's intentionally goofy tone allowed me to survive the ordeal, as it's easy to take all the bad performances and warped dialogue as tools for extreme exaggeration.

Also, I take my hat off for Ann-Gisel Glass who's a real trooper throughout this mess. She speaks very little, yet Glass still manages to raise the eyebrows and widen the eyes to their extent with her utter fearlessness. I can't quite sympathize with her character but, by God, does the actress give it her all in convincing me she's a hardcore heroin addict. It's no surprise she became an in-demand star in her native France afterward. Ironically enough, her onscreen mother Schubert got into pornography a year later to support her own drug habit.

I must give props to Silvestro for his excellent use of Amsterdam locations. The scenes in the real Vondelpark are weirdly lovely, even with all the ugliness on display. The many shots of the streets are vivid and full of life as well. All of this atmosphere comes through almost flawlessly in the 1.85:1 anamorphic print supplied by Severin, who have fully restored the film from the original vault elements. The film is 25 years year old, and there is astonishingly very little grain. The flesh tones and black levels are both quite immaculate. The 2.0 mono track is more than acceptable. The dialogue is easily heard throughout, and the love ballads are given the proper amount of attention. All in all, I have absolutely no complaints about the A/V details.

There is only one extra, but it's a great one. We get to meet writer/director Silvestro in "The Confessions of Rino D," a whopping 42-minute interview in which he talks about everything from production and casting to his outrageous indulgences when it came to telling the story. Silvestro is respectfully candid and open about the whole experience, and production photographs are also provided while he's speaking. Sadly, this was no doubt his final interview, as he passed away on October 3, 2009.

The Verdict

The film is found very guilty for its shameful elements. However, Glass is free to go for her audaciously memorable performance, and Silvestro is free to rest in peace.

There for the action. Missing from history.

Opening Statement

Rules are meant to be broken.

Facts of the Case

U.S. women are not allowed in combat, or so says American federal policy. But on the ground in Iraq what's on paper means very little when there's a war to be fought. A war that needs female soldiers to frisk the female enemy, or comfort the enemy children, or participate in a violent counterinsurgency battle. Lioness is the story of five military support ladies who suddenly found themselves in battles of the most violent nature -- U.S. policy be damned.

The Evidence

Lioness starts after it is all over -- physically, at least. When the audience is introduced to the five stars of the documentary, they are off-duty at home, recently returned from war. They are mothers, and wives, hunters, and writers. As the movie opens with idyllic pastoral settings or the cramped surroundings of small apartments these initial scenes will stand in stark contrast to the military footage that soon punctuates the screen. The introductory scenes are chosen for their relative peacefulness and mundaneness, but they are obviously a set-up: a calm before the look back at the storm.

Soon after we meet the Lionesses -- five people linked by the fact that they are women who went to Iraq in supporting roles and found themselves in bloody battle -- we begin to relive the past several years of their lives. There are the stories of why they chose the military, interviews with the family about their worry and disbelief, and the slow unraveling of how what was intended to be a supporting, sideline role in Iraq turned into a firefight. All of these stories are interspersed with transitional shots -- scenic or long pauses -- a nice tactic for tackling a heavy subject. Brendon Anderegg, the film's composer, provides a soothing soundtrack throughout.

How these women came to find themselves in combat is told through two perspectives and each perspective is illustrated with footage from the war itself. First there are the interviews with the male superiors. These interviews are relatively buttoned-up and safe -- these are career military men after all -- but there is a current of helplessness that runs through the interviews. These men didn't necessarily want the women in battle, and they knew that policy forbade it, but the Iraq War is a modern war and they were hamstrung in many instances. American men could not frisk Iraqi women, and they could not calm the children as effectively. The women, nicknamed Lionesses, were essential to on-the-ground interactions with Iraqis. And that essentialness resulted in a trickle-down, in-the-wrong-place-at-the-wrong-time outcome: the women were directly involved in a counterinsurgency battle in Ramadi, becoming the first group of U.S. women in direct combat (or so we're told).

The second perspective of how these women came to be in battle is told through interviews with the women themselves. Noticeably, the women are very frank in their re-telling of the events. This is not a sobbing, dramatic bunch -- they are military women after all. But there is an undercurrent of disbelief and distrust about how their roles were turned upside down. It's not that they were opposed, necessarily, to being in direct combat. It's that they were opposed to how haphazardly they were thrown into battle. And that haphazardness, along with the sheer death and destruction they witnessed, is obviously scarring to these ladies.

This movie promotes itself as telling the untold story of women in combat. And it is about that. But it is more about how the women came to be in battle and how they emerged from battle. One scene has the women gathered, post-war, in someone's living room, watching footage of their big battle from The History Channel and commenting on how their contribution is never mentioned. But the scene changes before any truly poison-tipped words can be shared and the setting and set-up seems a bit contrived, as if it is intended to showcase how put out the women feel by not receiving as much recognition as their male peers. That feeling doesn't carry through the rest of the film very prominently, though. Overall, Lioness conveys that the women are grappling with a much more personal battle than a public recognition battle. They are trying to figure out how to process everything they experienced before, during, and after the combat zone. Since they were not technically supposed to be in combat, not only was there no blueprint for how they were supposed to be trained for combat, there is no blueprint for how they're supposed to cope post-combat. That's the real message of this film.

The 36 minutes of Bonus Footage features an interesting five-minute spot about "Women in the Military." It chronicles the rise of women in war from nurses to the Lionesses. While it seems a bit spartan on the modern-day women of war prior to the Lionesses, it is an eye-opening look at how far ladies in uniform have come. Another interesting spot in the Bonus Footage covers Fort Stewart and the extensive, and likely expensive, role-playing scenario they set up there. At Fort Stewart Afghans play Afghans while American soldiers play American soldiers. As one woman soldier summarize, Fort Stewart is great place to fail and learn. The final eight minutes of the Bonus Footage is titled "Team Lioness Goes to Capital Hill" and documents the Lionesses trip to Washington D.C. It is an interesting look at the rhetoric of the government, the curiosity of the media, and the truthfulness of the Lionesses themselves, much like the film itself.

The audio quality on Lioness is very clear and well paced. I have a hard time understanding a lot of accents, and one of the women is very much from the South. But I never strained to understand her or her friends and family...even when those accents were punctuated by gun shots or alcohol. A lot of the narrative of Lioness is told by voiceovers and those voiceovers have a slightly elevated quality; they stand apart from the action and the scenery. This is partially due to excellent sound editing, where background noise and music is pulled away and inserted at just the right moments. The music, mostly classical in nature, is never overwhelming but an appropriate accompaniment to the dialogue and the overall story.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

At times the movie is jumpy and certainly not all of the women are given equal face time. It is easy to imagine hours and hours of footage -- both from this particular production and from the war in general -- that swirled at the directors' (Meg McLagan and Daria Sommers) feet as they pieced together the film. (Certainly, the 36 minutes of extra footage on the DVD attests to this.) How do you chose what's important when it's all about life and death? A more measured pacing and more even focus on all the women might have benefitted this film.

I also have to wonder what sort of stories the women, and men, tell when they are off-camera and not censored at the least. It's hard to imagine that there is no gender bashing or stereotyping in the military, but the movie tiptoes around the topic.

Closing Statement

Overall, Lioness is an honest look at the experiences of five women and their superiors, on a heated battlefield in Iraq. Every woman has an interesting story to tell and they tell it openly and with clarity -- even clarity about their confusion. This is truly an untold story, told eloquently and sincerely, with interesting visual twists: the calm before the story scenario, and the on-the-move interviews (such as when one woman hunts for squirrels while pouring her heart out to the camera). This film is as much a cinematic success as a storytelling one.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

"Going down in history."

Opening Statement

Spoiler Alert! I can't talk about the dyke drama without, you know, talking about the dyke drama.

Breaking Showtime's record for its longest-running series, the sixth and final season of The L Word tries to send the show off with a bang. Unfortunately, the specific attempt is bafflingly misguided. Looks like somebody in the pre-season brainstorming session decided that the best ending for a fun, sexy show about romance and friendship among a tight-knit group of lesbians would be for a main character to be murdered. Apparently, this is "the way that we live"?

Facts of the Case

Season Six opens with one of the show's principle sets turned into a crime scene: star screenwriter / deceitful scumbag Jenny Schecter (Mia Kirshner, 24) is dead on a stretcher and the cops wanna know whodunnit. So do we, as these opening moments set up the season's arc as "Who killed Jenny?" before pulling us back three months earlier and spending the remaining episodes showing us what led up to this death. Meandering through this three-month period, we see Bette (Jennifer Beals, Flashdance) and Tina (Laurel Holloman, Angel) back together and hoping to adopt their second child. Alice (Leisha Hailey, All Over Me) and Tasha's (Rose Rollins, Something New) relationship isn't going as well, but is invigorated by a fun new friend. Shane (Katherine Moennig, Three Rivers) tries to win back Jenny's trust after last season's betrayal. Kit (Pam Grier, Foxy Brown) and Helena (Rachel Shelley, Ghost Whisperer) go into business together. And Max (Daniela Sea, Shortbus) accidentally becomes a pregnant man.

Season Six is a mere eight episodes, divided over three slim-case discs in this set:

Disc One

• "Long Night's Journey Into Day"
Kit's advice to Shane: "You need to fight for Jenny...fight for the friendship."
After a brief flash-forward to Jenny's murder three months in the future, we pick up where Season Five left off: with the fallout from Shane and Niki's escapade on that dangerous railing. Jenny kicks Shane out of their roommate situation and Shane spends the night wandering in on various dramas among her other friends: Bette and Tina take care of sick little Angelica and fight about cheating, and Alice and Tasha also fight about cheating and consider breaking up.
Sexy bits: Jenny and Nicki have make-up sex

• "Least Likely"
Max: "Sorry I kicked you in the balls."
Tom: "Sorry I knocked you up."
After letting Shane do menial jobs for her to win back her trust, Jenny eventually makes a confession of love. Alice and Tasha go to couples' counseling with the worst therapist ever, and Helena will probably need therapy when the woman who trapped her in a sexual harassment lawsuit, Dylan, comes back into her life. Bette runs into an old roommate/crush, Kelly Wentworth (Elizabeth Berkley, Showgirls), at an art gallery. Oh, and Max finds out that he's preggers.
Sexy bits: Bette and Tina have sex in their bedroom; Alice and Tasha do it in Alice's tiny car

• "LMFAO"
Jenny: "I'm happy we fucked."
Appropriately, the writers spend most of this episode letting us bask in the extended and often hilarious reactions of all the characters to Shane and Jenny's hook-up. In other news, Bette idiotically tries to fire Jodi and is herself promptly fired by Phyllis. Alice is also in danger of getting fired from The Look when she talks about hate crimes instead of fun gay gossip on the air. Plus, Helena and Kit have their grand re-opening of SheBar, now transformed into the HIT! club.
Sexy bits: Shane and Jenny fool around in bed

Disc Two

• "Leaving Los Angeles"
Jenny [suggesting a new girlfriend for Helena]: "Jodi!"
Alice: "What is this, recycling? Paper, plastic, lesbians?"
White Dylan is still prowling around, Alice and Tasha distract Helena by setting her up with their new friend Jamie. Pregnancy drama abounds elsewhere, as Max and Tom struggle with their bizarre scenario, and as Bette and Tina travel to Nevada to meet a woman who may let them adopt her baby.
Sexy bits: None

• "Litmus Test"
Tina: [to her former boss] "Shut your pie hole, Aaron!"
Alice gets pissed at Jenny for stealing her screenplay idea, and then she gets pissed at Shane for not being pissed at Jenny. Despite these tensions, the gang bands together to carry out an elaborate test, determining whether Dylan's intentions with Helena are pure.
Sexy bits: Helena and Dylan have sex at Helena's apartment

• "Lactose Intolerant"
Alice: [on a sculpture at Bette's gallery] "Wow, looks like a giant cat threw up, huh?"
Max isn't thrilled about being a pregnant man or about his boyfriend running out on him, and attending the baby shower Jenny throws for him doesn't help. Bette's gallery opening is proves to be a better event, but more gender trouble occurs when the HIT! club's drag queen DJ HIT!s on KIT! at the show.
Sexy bits: Alice and Tasha, all sweaty on the couch; plus, Shane and Niki make out at Shane's new photography studio, and Jamie gets naked in Alice's shower

Disc Three

• "Last Couple Standing"
Tasha: [giving Alice a pep talk] "Everybody out there, they're here for you. Jamie and I are gonna do this crazy-ass dance for you. I'm in a turquoise onesie for you, okay? So pull it together!"
The HIT! club hosts an all-night charity dance-off to benefit the LGBT center Jamie runs, and everybody's eager to compete. But lots of crazy drama brews between dance numbers: Jenny threatens to tell Tina that Bette's been cheating, Alice suspects that Jamie and Tasha have developed feelings for each other, Tina announces that she's been offered a dream job in New York, Jodi shows up, and Jenny reacts unpredictably to the realization that Shane is having sex with Niki.
Sexy bits: Shane and Niki in a bathroom stall

• "Last Word"
Bette: "I am happy to be getting out of this little hotbed of lesbian inter-fucking-connectedness."
As Bette and Tina prepare to move to New York, their friends gather at their newly remodeled house for a party, returning us to the night of Jenny's murder that started the season. To bulk up some motives for killing Jenny, Shane finds out that Jenny hid a crucial letter to her from Molly months before, Tina finds out that Jenny stole the Lez Girls film negative, and Bette finds out that Jenny is intensifying her threats to tell Tina that Bette's been cheating. Jenny indeed dies, but the series finale ends without actually disclosing who killed her.
Sexy bits: Dylan and Helena and, oddly, a knife; Bette goes down on Tina near a bunch of candles

The Evidence

Watching this final season of The L Word for me, and probably for a lot of queer women, was a little bit like witnessing one of those tragic moments that sometimes happens in Olympic marathons. Say you're from one of those obscure countries that doesn't get a lot of positive attention in the global press -- let's call it Borovnia. And then one year your little nation lucks out and sends a really promising marathon runner off to the Olympics. Suddenly your country's in the spotlight, and you're back home cheering and watching the race on TV. Everything is going well for the first 20 miles or so and you're elated -- nobody expects this runner to win, but you and the other folks watching back home in Borovnia will be satisfied if she can just finish strong. Then a mile or two from the finish line, she starts to look real shaky. You cross your fingers, you hold your breath, but it's no good. She stumbles, she falls in the home stretch, and everybody in Borovnia feels kind of cruddy.

As it turns out, The L Word was that marathon runner for the U.S.'s lesbian community. Getting a show about lesbians on the air back in 2004 was a real triumph, and many of us tuned in and watched its progress intently for six seasons (pretty near marathon length for a Showtime series!). It was clear from the beginning that it wasn't going to get any gold medals; it was never as well-written as shows like Six Feet Under, The Wire, or Mad Men, even though its core group of actresses was truly stellar. But The L Word was an unquestionable success, and it chugged along at a fully respectable level of quality for five seasons, despite the occasional misstep. Queer women and their friends gathered in bars and living rooms across the country and the show really contributed to the community it represented. But then in that sixth season home stretch it started to look real shaky. If there is a television-writing equivalent of a runner falling on the ground and failing to cross the finish line, The L Word writers did it in this final season.

Let's get to the nitty-gritty of this season, which I've summed up into three categories, which progress from my most merciful comments to my most vitriolic:

The Good

• Couple Cuteness
Years of working together has added an ease and familiarity to the natural chemistry that already existed between many of these actresses, and the sixth season's best accomplishment is the way it capitalizes on those bonds. There are couple interactions here that are infectiously adorable, sure to please all but the most bitter, hardened couple-haters. Joyce's surprise proposal to Phyllis at her office gets Cybill Shepherd to blurt out: "Joyce, what are you doing? You can't just pop out from behind a plant buck naked!" and then the two jump up and down like giddy schoolgirls. Alice tries to convince Tasha that she's not a frivolous person by making serious-face, which is predictably endearing -- as is the scene where they make a pros and cons list on whether they should stay together. But it's the show's longest-running couple, Bette and Tina, who are the most unexpectedly delightful. I've never cared all that much about their on-again, off-again drama, but back together for good, this time they share a well-worn and comfortable rapport with lots of gentle teasing. A highlight is their hardcore drive to beat Alice's team at the dance competition. Bette, at her alpha female best, warns Tina: "They've got wigs and spandex. This is no fucking joke. We have no idea what they're capable of." I also loved the scene in which they decide who will sit with each group of their feuding friends by playing rock, paper, scissors:

Bette: "Why do I always lose?!?"
Tina: "Because you're always rock."
Bette: "Is that what it is? Have fun with the martyrs."
Tina: "Have fun with the cheaters."

• The Funny Stuff
Though less funny than the riotous fourth season, Season Six still offered some hilarious moments. "LMFAO" lives up to its title with the inspired sequence of people finding out that Shane and Jenny hooked up. As Alice texts the gossip to all her friends, we see Helena fall off her treadmill, Bette interrupt a business meeting with a cackle, and finally Kit looking puzzled and pondering, "Why is my phone buzzing?...A what?!? A text message?" The self-awareness of this episode is great, with many of the characters looking as repulsed on-screen as many of the fans did off-screen when this controversial couple formed:

There are also some nice little in-jokes, like Alice's comment that Helena's children seem to have disappeared, and the sly reference to Leisha Hailey's much-broadcast yogurt commercials in "LMFAO."

The Bad

• A Drought of Good Sex Scenes
Over the years, The L Word has brought us a number of fantastic sex scenes, but this year's crop is rather puny. Other than the premiere's scene between Jenny and Niki, nothing really stands out. Actually, the bafflingly dull six-minute sex scene between Helena and Dylan in "Litmus Test" stands out, but not in a good way. Particularly infuriating are two major missed opportunities. While Jenny and Shane getting together was not a favorite plot among fans, there are few who would deny that these Kirshner and Moennig are damn sexy. I would think the #1 reason to write a storyline about these two getting together would be to show them having a bunch of crazy naked sex. Apparently not, since we really don't get even one substantial sex scene between them. The problem is similar but even more galling with Alice, Tasha, and Jamie. These characters seem to go through the emotional consequences that often follow threesomes, but the threesome never happens! We get all of the aftermath with none of the, well, math! Considering, again, that these actresses are all exceptionally gorgeous, this crime is much more upsetting than Jenny's murder.

• Shenny
As mentioned above, fans were skeptical that this pairing was a good idea, and I doubt anyone was convinced by the storyline's execution. We basically spend the bulk of the season yelling at the TV, "When is Shane going to dump Jenny?!?!" (along with, "When are they going to have sex?!?!") and then we're deprived of even the pleasure of a break-up in the end. The writers spend lots of time setting up the big showdown, but when Shane finally finds the love letter from Molly that Jenny hid in the attic we don't even see the confrontation between them. The writers skip this scene, presumably to preserve Shane as a suspect in the mystery of Jenny's murder.

The Ugly

• An Utter Lack of Character Consistency
This lack has always been a problem in The L Word: recall Helena's personality transplant between the second and third season, for example. But here it kicks into overdrive as people behave completely out of character over and over again. Bette attempts to fire Jodi, apparently unaware that this could be construed as sexual harassment (she's not that stupid). Max violently assaults Tom and repeatedly calls him a faggot (he's not a bigot, even if he's angry). Jenny tells Max how beautiful and womanly "she" has become (Jenny was the most supportive of and understanding about Max's transition). And Bette utters the line "check yourself before you wreck yourself." Huh?

• Max Gets Preggers
This ripped-from-the-headlines storyline about a pregnant man was, pardon my pun, ill-conceived and poorly delivered. It's nice that the writers decided to give Max some kind of actual plot this season, but his lines (and Sea's delivery of them) are just as whiny and off-putting as ever, and the ridiculous make-up job on his beard makes it extra-hard to take him seriously. There's no resolution to this pregnancy plot at all, as the series ends with Max two months away from delivering the baby and unsure about whether he wants to keep it. And speaking of no resolution...

• "Who Killed Jenny?"
I'm still waiting for my answer. Writing whole storyline and its "ending" is the most boneheaded decision that the The L Word people have ever made -- even dumber than their decision to kill Dana in the third season. The most obvious problem is the pointless ambiguity of the ending. We don't find out who killed Jenny, and I can't conceive of why anyone on staff imagined fans would think this was a cool ending for the show. Even if they somehow missed the lesson of The Sopranos that fans want an actual finale in a series finale, why on earth would they structure the whole season's narrative and marketing around the expectation of finding out "who killed Jenny"? One answer might be that Ilene Chaiken hoped to continue the story by spinning The L Word off into a prison drama, with Alice being (wrongly?) imprisoned for Jenny's murder. But if that's the case, Chaiken got some comeuppance: The Farm's pilot flopped and, as far as I know, the project is dead. It seems to me a real disservice to fans to give the series they loved a terrible non-ending just in the hopes that you can wring another project out of it.

But another problem is that the murder mystery ending seems wholly inappropriate to the tone of the series. As Jennifer Beals says, "The L Word, at its core, was a series about community." What kind of statement about community does it make to have a central member of this group of friends murdered and the other members apparently band together to cover up the killer's identity? Chaiken and co. clearly want this to be a sexy and provocative ending, but it comes off as callous. Maybe if they'd gone all the way in making Jenny a moustache-twirling villain, we could have purely delighted in her death; but Kirshner, bless her, was just too good at finding those little moments of sympathy and redemption. Plus, the characters we know and love are all viscerally upset by this turn of fate, and that's where we leave them forever. What a downer.

Lastly, the finale itself is just ludicrously scripted from start to finish. We viewers must be real idiots if we need four not-so-subtle references to the broken railing on Bette and Tina's balcony before Jenny is apparently pushed off it. And Alice is right when she asks the police investigator (Lucy Lawless, Xena: Warrior Princess) during her interrogation, "What does this have to do with who killed Jenny? I don't understand all these questions." The interrogation scenes are lazily written excuses for various characters to articulate their feelings and are absurdly distant from real police procedure. And who knows what to make of the outlandish wind-machine glamor shots that close the episode?

I've run out of synonyms for "ridiculous." That should be all the indication you need of the season's quality.

Showtime's presentation of these disappointing episodes in The L Word: The Complete Final Season probably falls under "the bad" rather than "the ugly." But the image looks ugly enough with so many compression artifacts dancing around the frame. Visuals are redeemed somewhat by the show's varied and well-designed sets and fun costumes. Audio is adequate at pumping in the many snippets of music, and dialogue is less muddy than in previous sets (though I still think a DVD that features a deaf character and actress should really include subtitles!). Extras are disappointing, but no more so than usual with L Word DVDs. There are no commentaries, no deleted scenes, and no making-of featurettes. But there is a 25-minute documentary focusing mostly on an older generation of lesbians (interesting, but not very closely tied to the series) and 25 minutes of footage from a charity event that Chaiken and several cast members attended in New York (presented with an incorrect aspect ratio). A highlight there is an emotional speech that Jennifer Beals gives about her experience on The L Word on the eve of the 2008 presidential election. She comes off as just as poised, elegant, and passionate as the character she plays. We also gets some photos from the set (the vast majority of which show the actresses getting their make-up done, for some reason), a few promos for products and causes, and extra features you can access through the internet. These include an excerpt from Marlee Matlin's (who plays Jodi) memoir and access to episodes of The United States of Tara and The Tudors.

Closing Statement

About the series she headlined, Jennifer Beals concludes, "No matter where the storylines went, we always managed to have fun." Despite my above-articulated rage about how it ended, I can pretty much say the same for my viewing experience with The L Word. For six seasons, it was a reason to get together with friends and laugh (with it or at it), a spark for conversations about queer issues, a source of hot lesbian sex scenes, and an impetus for big raucous crowds of ladies to gather at dyke bars on Sunday nights. In fact, my partner and I bonded over L Word mini-marathons as a prelude to dating, so I owe the series a certain debt.

The L Word made great strides for lesbian visibility in the mainstream media, and even a craptacular final season can't strip it of that achievement. All the same, I'd advise anyone who hasn't get seen this sixth season to skip it and pretend the show ended at five!

The Verdict

As an individual season, this one's guilty. As guilty as Jenny Schecter and whoever killed her combined.

"Please, have mercy! I've been wearing the same underwear since Tuesday!"

Opening Statement

John Hughes' Planes, Trains and Automobiles is a classic comedy, featuring great performances by Steve Martin and the late John Candy. After nine long years, Paramount is finally seeing fit to double-dip, but is really worth the upgrade?

Facts of the Case

NYC marketing executive Neal Page (Steve Martin, The Pink Panther) has only one ambition: to get to Chicago to be with his wife and kids for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, he finds himself stuck in Wichita, Kansas with a blabbering shower curtain ring salesman named Del Griffith (John Candy, Uncle Buck). At first, Neal finds Del crude and annoying, but eventually both begin to depend on each other to reach Chicago. Little do they realize their journey will yield utter disaster and mutual understanding.

The Evidence

When John Hughes died in August 2009, he had been out of the spotlight for almost 15 years, quietly retiring to his hometown of Chicago. He loved the Windy City so much it became a familiar setting in almost all his screenplays, from National Lampoon's Vacation to Home Alone. In this sense, he became Chicago's version of Woody Allen, consistently crafting humor out of realistic situations -- whether it be driving cross-country, the trials and tribulations of being a teenager, or dealing with obnoxious relatives. Somehow, we were able to identify with many of his characters, no matter what they were struggling with.

Of all the films he made, he reached no closer to cinematic perfection than with Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Fans of his "teenspeak" comedies (Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller's Day Off) can cite those as some of the most influential films of all time. Twentieth Century Fox can boast and brag about Home Alone and its sequels making a butt-load of money. My own sister places She's Having A Baby on the highest pedestal she can find. Yet it still doesn't erase the fact that Planes is the rarest of comedies, full of laughs and poignancy, possessing a genuine heart amidst all the hysterics. I can't imagine the film having a great number of detractors. It's simply impossible to dislike.

Planes, Trains and Automobiles represents a career change for all involved. Hughes began to be labeled as a teen director, and sought to branch out into more adult fare. Candy had done a string of roles which made him known as little more a loutish cartoon character. Martin was still labeled the "wild and crazy guy," starring in movies all about silliness and wacky behavior. While Martin had done Roxanne earlier in that same year, gifting him as a romantic leading man, he still dabbled in his own comic inventions. Here he plays it almost completely straight, with Hughes never allowing Candy to hog the spotlight. Usually casting two huge comedians in a film dooms it to disaster, as one tries to outplay the other. In Planes, that's never the case.

Admittedly, it boils down to being a road picture, but Hughes never loses sight of his characters and their emotions. Neil is a cynic who just wants everyone to get the hell out of his way so he can get home, while Del is a man who acknowledges his social faults, yet waves them off in harmony. The film's key moment, in which we embrace both as human beings, Neil goes off on a violent rant about how tired he is with Del's idea of stimulating conversation. It's hilarious stuff -- Neil going so far as to compare Del to a Chatty Cathy doll -- but while we're laughing we see the hurt in Del's eyes and the way his face seems to melt away in pain. He's obviously received this kind of verbal hazing before. In response, he doesn't break down and sob like a kid, but rather opens up his heart to Neil and admits he's far from perfect. Del says he's content with who he is as a person and that he refuses to change, ending his speech. Rather than stomp away in anger, Neil begins to understand Del's frustration and decides to stay. From this point forward, we completely believe in these guys sticking together. Thankfully, Hughes never takes a left turn towards the maudlin.

There are several big laughs in the movie, yet Hughes doesn't depend on the two leads to supply all of them. Along the way, they meet an assortment of oddball characters, many of whom threaten to steal their respective scenes. There's a grunting redneck called Owen, played by wonderful character actor Dylan Baker in his film debut. Michael McKean has a nice cameo as a cop who pulls over the duo for speeding in their rental car (or what's left of it). And Hughes requests the services of some of his regulars, including Edie McClurg as a daffy car rental agent and Ben Stein as an airport rep. Oh and yes, that is Kevin Bacon in a memorable scene near the beginning as the man Martin challenges to a race over a taxicab.

Still, this is really Martin and Candy's show, both offering up what may well be the finest performances of their careers. Candy especially exhibits a vulnerability and tenderness in which he had never tapped into before; it's no wonder Hughes loved him so much. The soliloquy he gives while sitting out in the car in the bitter cold is profoundly moving, no matter how many times you see it. As for Martin, it's remarkable to see him change from cold-hearted bastard to a man who sees the humanity in Candy's character. It's certainly not a Scrooge-like transformation, but it's driven in a completely realistic way, which is both refreshing and enlightening. Like all great movies, we come to like and care about these characters, and the final moments inside the Chicago train station and at Martin's house are played so beautifully they may just bring a tear to your eye.

Paramount originally released Planes, Trains and Automobiles on DVD back in 2000 with middling results. Not only was the disc bare-bones, but the anamorphic image was extremely dirty, with smudges and grain galore. The transfer on this new edition is a huge improvement, with sharp black levels, terrific flesh tones, and very bright colors. Everything has been cleaned up for a sweet image. Even with a slight softness, it still looks like it could have been shot today. On the audio front, the remastered 5.1 surround track bolsters Ira Newborn's unusual but amusing score and songs like "Mess Around" (by Ray Charles) and "Everytime You Go Away" (by Blue Room), all sounding better than ever. Environmental and highway noise are natural and uncompromised. An alternate 2.0 Spanish Mono track is also provided. Subtitles are available in English, French, and Spanish. For once, Paramount has done right and given this film a superb A/V upgrade.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Unfortunately, Paramount seems to have dropped the ball, when it comes to this disc's bonus features -- three featurettes and a deleted scene. The real meat is found in the 17-minute "Getting There Is Half The Fun: The Story of Planes, Trains and Automobiles." This is a mixture of archival footage and newly-recorded interviews with McKean, McClurg, executive producer Neil Machlis, and the casting directors. Among other things, McKean talks about how his part was originally longer and his reasons for stopping Del and Neil were changed.

In the archives, we get comments from the director and both stars, from the set of the rental car agency. There's no moderator, the questions coming solely from the press. It's a rather uneven affair, but cool to see Hughes, Martin, and Candy together talking about the film. Personally, I would have liked the 1987 interview to be uncut and serve as a stand-alone feature. Preferences aside, where is Steve Martin? He's always considered this the favorite of all his films, and his presence would have made all the difference.

The two other featurettes are quite brief -- one honoring John Candy, the other discussing Hughes' direction towards adult-oriented fare. As for the deleted scene ("Airplane Food"), it runs 3.5 minutes and frequently appears in television broadcasts. It's a funny little scene, but also somewhat of a tease, since it's been rumored for years that Hughes' original cut was over three hours. Some sources suggest that Hughes removed all of the unused footage from the Paramount vaults years ago. Regardless, with the lack of additional footage and Martin being MIA, this new "Those Aren't Pillows!" edition feels rather hollow.

Closing Statement

Considering the excellent A/V quality, this release is definitely worth the upgrade, even if the extras are not up to snuff. Of course, its pure conjecture if Paramount is saving the unused footage for a Blu-ray release. Only time will tell.

The Verdict

Del and Neil are free to go and have their Turkey. This is one of the all-time great comedies, and thus found not guilty.

R.I.P. John Hughes

The nuts who always score...

Opening Statement

Recently there's been a renaissance of sorts for early-1980s, teen sex comedies, with uncalled for DVD releases of Hardbodies and Spring Break. All of these films were produced for one reason: cash in on a little Canadian flick called Porky's, an unlikely monster hit back in 1982. Before the late John Hughes stepped in to put an end to the madness, it seemed like another one of these time-killers was entering theaters virtually every week. Of course, an occasionally mature effort like The Last American Virgin or Secret Admirer would pop up from time to time, but the primary goal of this genre was to show as much boobage as possible.

None of those films sunk lower than Screwballs, a flagrantly absurd movie produced by schlock-meister Roger Corman. This is a film which almost defies serious criticism, as it's about as subtle as a rainfall of billiard balls. It has all the elements of the genre you'd expect, such as horny teenagers, busty cheerleaders, phallic imagery, sexual hijinx, and a complete lack of skill and sagacity. Naturally, it made a decent profit at the box office, particularly in Europe, and it's now labeled as the sleaziest teen sex comedy of them all. Well, I can't disagree with that, as it makes American Pie look like Rain Man.

Facts of the Case

Stop me if you've heard this one before. The film is set at Taft & Adams (T&A for short) High school in the 1950s. Five guys (a nerd, a jock, a richie, a newcomer, and an a fat guy) have all been sent to detention for doing such things as a moderating a breast exam for freshman girls and masturbating in the meat freezer. All are now facing a week in detention, thanks to being set up (more or less) by the virginal Purity Busch (Linda Speciale, Breaking Bad), who has a penchant for humiliating her male peers. As revenge, the guys wager to see who will be the first see Purity's hallowed breasts.

The Evidence

Screwballs is beyond bad. It's an unapologetically over-the-top, fiercely cartoonish farce with some of the most ludicrous scenarios ever put on celluloid. Take the scene where the nerd uses hypnotism to unveil Purity, by means of a gigantic rubber hot dog which he ties to the diving board in the school pool. Unfortunately, he misses his target and ends up being caught by an entire gym class full of girls, who proceed to put him in his place. Then there is the moment where the richie drives the newcomer to Purity's house to get her while sleeping, but ends up humping her horny mother after walking into the wrong bedroom. The boys force the fat guy to bury himself in the sand and try to get a look at Purity by means of a straw acting as a periscope. Oh, yes, the boys actually take a break to play "strip bowling" with some of the cheerleaders, leading to a bowling ball getting stuck on the nerd's anatomy. Don't even ask me how he manages to get it off.

Filmed on the cheap in Toronto, and directed by a Polish filmmaker who applied a Eastern European flavor to the interminable gags, Screwballs actually stands out from the teen-sex genre. Running at a mere 78 minutes, the film has no time for sentiment or poignancy. Plus, even though the film is set in the 1950s, it would be impossible for anybody to find it nostalgic because of its overly raunchy, 1980s sensibilities. Without question, the film exists in some kind of time warp. There's old time rock 'n roll songs, vintage songs, and somewhat authentic clothing mixed in with pornography, strip shows, nudie magazines, sex shops, and cheerleaders more than willing to shed their tops. Indeed, the film is utterly incomprehensible from beginning to end, only determined to figure out as many ways as possible to show boobs. And, yes, there are a lot of boobs, making Screwballs a personal favorite of Mr. Skin, who calls it the "essential epic of horny high school kids."

The film was written by Jim Wynorski -- an exploitation vet whose brought us such erotic fare as The Witches Of Breastwick -- and Linda Shayne, who has a pivotal role in the movie as Bootsie Goodhead. Basically, Corman recruited them to study Porky's and make a variation for the same market. What they delivered was a teen sex comedy with an outrageously spoofy attitude, making this more of a send-up than a typical genre effort. They incorporate some truly off-the-wall one-liners, many of them included in the drive-in sequence. For example, two couples are out on a double date, and one girl tells the other, "Don't look now, but I think John is masturbating!" The other girl is disgusted and demands her to tell him to stop. The girl then says, "I can't...he's using my hand!" If you find this funny, then chances are you'll enjoy the whole movie.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

It's easy to trash Screwballs for everything it shows and represents. Yet, the truth is it's actually one of the better Porky's rip-offs, if only for its sheer audacity and "do-anything-for-a-laugh" vibe. I would be lying if I didn't say I emitted a few chuckles, mostly at the aforementioned drive-in sequence and a completely preposterous moment when the jock dresses up like the home economics teacher to measure the girls for their homecoming dresses. The cast is joyful and game throughout, and I must credit Shayne for her delightful willingness to do anything and everything. She's easily the best thing the movie, both in her chirpy nature and, um, other attributes. Russ Meyer fans will also get a kick out of seeing Raven De La Croix (Up!) do a striptease for the leads.

I must take my hat off to Severin for going all out with this DVD release. Well, almost. The 1.66:1 anamorphic print sports dull colors, lots of dirt and grain, and a fuzziness which reveals its low-budget in every aspect. The all-important flesh tones are not bad, but some scenes suffer from skin redness. Black levels are decent, but nothing to shout about. I'm sure Severin did all they could with the print, considering the poor source, but it's still a decidedly mediocre image. Audio is presented in Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono, with the Bop songs given enough attention and dialogue is discernable more often than not. The numerous sound effects, including the library erections (don't ask), come through just fine. There are no subtitles (except for the deleted scenes), and the disc is region-free, just in case you want to ship it to Abu Dhabi once you're done with it.

However, a wealth of bonus features makes one forget about the tepid A/V details. As David Knell, star of Spring Break, told me in response to my review, "it's a crime when a film -- no matter what quality -- is released without extras." Severin has elevated Screwballs to special edition status, and even gave the film a Blu-ray treatment (more on this later). First, we have a commentary with director Rafal Zielinski, who is joined by Severin masterminds David Gregory and John Cregan. In a word, it's hilarious, full of jokes, production info, and enthusiasm. Zielinski doesn't remember a lot from the production, but he does cover the shoot and locations to the best of his knowledge. The director also gives a separate interview which runs about 11 minutes. Next up is a selection of deleted and extended scenes which were only available via a low resolution capture of the original Spanish VHS release. Separate disclaimers cite the god-awful quality of these scenes, yet Severin decided to add them for the "high historical value." They have also thankfully included English subtitles so we could understand the dialogue.

The rest of the extras are comprised of interviews, and all are worth jumping into. The best one is provided by Wynorski & Shayne, as they have nothing but fond memories of the experience and were pleased with the film's reception. Their interview is also the longest, at 18 minutes. We also get to hear comments from star Kent Deuters (who plays the richie Brent), and special FX artist Gerald Lukaniuk, as well as Canuxsploitation expert and retired DVD Verdict Judge Paul Corupe. Finally, we have Mr. Skin himself (yes, he actually shows his face!), along with his head writer "McBeardo," talking about the film and other sex comedies of the '80s. Both obviously have a lot of affection for the genre, especially since they spent a lot of hours "fast forwarding" to the money shots back in the good 'ol days of VHS. They also amusingly joke about the uneven period detail of Screwballs, and how much they love the names of the characters.

Closing Statement

Originally, Severin was to release Screwballs on DVD and Blu-ray. However, the latter has been delayed indefinitely. I know this because I ordered a copy to put out in the movie/music stores I work at. So, just to give all the fans a heads up, they may want to wait a little longer to get the film in high-def.

The Verdict

Guilty of being monumentally stupid.

"I've got a tape I want to play."

The Case

The Talking Heads have always been a band at odds, fighting not only between themselves, but in balancing critical success and mainstream popularity. For them, the two have often been mutually exclusive. Recorded at the apex of this precarious balancing act, at the heyday of the band's critical success and popularity Stop Making Sense is now available on Blu-Ray to celebrate its twenty-fifth anniversary.

A collaboration between esteemed director Jonathan Demme and musician David Byrne, Stop Making Sense is a concert film on the surface -- the band comes out and plays music, and the disc stops when they do. Simplistic, and yet, Stop Making Sense has been wildly hailed as a masterpiece of filmmaking in the live concert genre, distilling the format and bending the expectations of audiences as to what we expect from concert films. There are no interviews with the band. There are no shots of the crowd. There are no segues, no breaks, no historical biography, no shots of the exterior venue. There are no quick edits. Stop Making Sense bears more similarities to a moving, organic, living art exhibit than a live performance. It is the polar opposite of every MTV video you have ever seen.

The track list as follows:

• Psycho Killer
• Heaven
• Thank You For Sending Me An Angel
• Found A Job
• Slippery People
• Burning Down The House
• Life During Wartime
• Making Flippy Floppy
• Swamp
• What A Day That Was
• This Must Be The Place (Naïve Melody)
• Once In A Lifetime
• Genius Of Love (performed by Tom Tom Club)
• Girlfriend Is Better
• Take Me To The River
• Crosseyed And Painless

Not merely a collection of songs presented to audiences, Stop Making Sense builds in intensity and complexity like a boiling kettle, a complex and shrewd production that belies the amount of thought and planning put into constructing it. The concert begins with an acoustic guitar, a boom box and David Byrne, alone on a sparse, half-constructed stage. Like the evolution of the band itself, each song brings on a new band member -- first the bass, then the drums, then more guitars -- along with more cameramen, more crew and more additions to the set, until we are immersed into a full-blown concert production without realizing it. By the time the band hits "Burning Down The House," the lights are blaring and the stage is crammed full of musicians. Funk players Bernie Worrell, Alex Weir, Steve Scales and two backup singers complement the band as they delve into a cacophonic fusion of funk, world music, punk rock and jazz. It is impossible not to be mesmerized by Byrne, a flailing bundle of arms and legs wrapped up in a grey suit, head bobbing like a turkey walking and strutting on the ground. His nasal, frenetic vocals set the momentum of the show, a non-stop sequence of erratic dance choreograph, wild undulations of rhythm and motion, and even comically oversized suits.

A concert film structured with cinematic narrative, Stop Making Sense blurs the dividing line between a live concert and a motion picture, borrowing elements from both. The set grows as the band matures and the songs grow more diverse, a physical manifestation of the band's own growth and musical complexity. The film is almost entirely absent of a live audience presence, with no crowd shots and barely any noise included in the mix, as if the band is playing for you and you alone. Only in the final moments of Stop Making Sense do we see the fourth wall, the audience in their delighted glory. Lighting is entirely natural, with none of the standard bright colored lights illuminating the stage, using only ambient and creative sources of light to shoot the Heads, like lamps and projection screens. The end result is a film with excessive shadows and long takes, a sharp contrast between musical excess and simplistic visuals that has a poetry about it; a simple elegance. Demme holds shots for impossible lengths -- at least in concert terms -- for minutes at a time, allowing the band to move, breathe and interact, to be characters in a narrative.

Being a concert film twenty-five years old, Stop Making Sense offers an impressive Blu-Ray presentation, provided that you set your standards accordingly. The 1080p transfer, remastered from a 35mm interpositive shows its age without shame or hesitation, offering muted colors, soft details and overwhelming black levels. Compared to modern high definition concert films, Stop Making Sense (Blu-Ray) cannot compete, but neither should it have to -- this is an authentic and honest presentation that represents the source material very well. Think of it as splitting the difference between modern fidelity and historical preservation. It may be far from a clean and sanitized transfer, showing quite heavy amounts of black and white speckling throughout, grain and other minor print damage, but little nuances, like the textures of clothing, are now apparent for the first time. This Blu-Ray presentation is as close to the original theatrical experience as you will find.

As for audio, here is where this Blu-Ray shines. Two separate DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 tracks are offered, the original theatrical mix and a studio remixed version of the soundtrack. The differences between the two are immediately apparent; the first is akin to sitting front row in the concert, loud and warm and totally immersive in waves of undulating sound. The studio mix has been tweaked to sound more "studio," like a live album recorded from the soundboard, with cleaner and more defined instrument definition, reduced ambient noises and well-situated placement. Audiophiles may well prefer this studio mix, which is brighter, less reverberating and makes more efficient use of the multiple channels to fill the sonic space, but to my ears, I do love the murky warmth of the feature mix. It almost sounds -- and I laugh at the irony -- analog, an especially droll notion because nothing about the sound mix in Stop Making Sense is even remotely analog. The film was an early pioneer in all-digital recording, so the quality here is superb. Both mixes are stunning, with punchy bass and sound marvelous turned all the way up. For those lacking the hardware, a surprisingly functional stereo PCM mix is also included, which more closely resembles the theatrical mix in its nuances and tone.

In terms of extras, Stop Making Sense (Blu-Ray) is a near-identical copy of the previous DVD release, with the notable addition of a press conference from the San Francisco Film Festival. Presented in its entirety way back in 1999, reuniting the band for the film's fifteenth anniversary, when I say in its entirety, I mean it -- even the boring moments of idle crowd chatter where no questions are being answered. It's all here. Fans of the band will appreciate this examination into the dynamic between the musicians, and the not-quite-resolved tensions and undercurrents of discontent that mar their faces as they interact with each other, having been apart for so long. The footage runs over an hour in length, upscaled from SD footage, and suffers some production gaffes and audio quirks. It is a great feature to have, but only will be truly appreciated by musical historians.

The rest of the features mirror the standard DVD release. We get two bonus tracks, "Cities" and "Big Business / I Zimbra." A commentary track recorded by the four band members and director Jonathan Demme is a hilariously fragmented and awkward track that exhibits signs of having been recorded totally isolated from one another, punctuated by long periods of silence. "Montage" is a three-minute segment of shots from the film, "Big Suit" offers some descriptive text about Byrne's trademark big suit, and "Byrne Self Interview" is a five-minute fun interview with Byrne, interviewing himself in various costume and makeup. Storyboard slides round out the feature offering.

A microcosm of a band at the height of their musical and creative talent, synchronicity and success, Stop Making Sense is superb achievement from start to finish. This is a concert film that engages audiences with surprisingly skilled cinematic expression, expanding its appeal far beyond mere fans of the band. The Blu-Ray looks good, but sounds absolutely tremendous, and represents a tempting upgrade for those of us with the hardware to support it.

The Verdict

It really is the best concert film ever made.

Heavenly electricity

Opening Statement

Based on Anton Chekov's only novel, The Shooting Party, director Douglas Sirk (Written on the Wind) has neither the visual style nor the social message in his second American film that he would in his later work, though there are signs of the greatness to come. On its own merits, Summer Storm is a well-drawn and nicely performed melodrama that explores the days of pre-revolutionary Russia and the lengths people will go to satisfy their desires.

Facts of the Case

Volsky (Edward Everett Horton, I Married an Angel), a haggard ex-Count, brings a manuscript to his old friend, Nadena (Anna Lee, Hangmen Also Die), who now runs a newspaper. These pages were written by Fedor Petroff (George Sanders, All About Eve), a former judge and ex-lover, and tell the story of his ruin at the hands of jealousy and lust for the enigmatic Olga (Linda Darnell, Blood and Sand), a peasant girl powerful enough to destroy lives.

The Evidence

While not an essential film in Sirk's filmography, Summer Storm is nonetheless an excellent tale which holds a charm all its own. The film stays relatively faithful to Chekov's original novel -- though there were changes forced by the Production Code -- and remains a quality melodrama which is more subdued than expected.

The film is bookended by a prologue and an epilogue that take place just after Lenin took power, while the majority of the tale is set a few years before the revolution. Released in 1944, right at the end of America's chilly alliance with the Soviet Union, this film would not have been made a year later, at least not without major structural changes and a dramatically altered story. The revolution is given a positive treatment here, showing us the rightful downfall of a feudal system full of lazy, inbred nobles and miserable peasants. However, Summer Storm is only political in retrospect. Communism is natural here, as though there were no problems with the regime. Sirk isn't making a statement on this, but it's amazing how quickly Hollywood's perception of the Soviets changed.

In the bookends, we see the characters as destitute, brought down to the level of the people who once were their maids and butlers. Their collective downfall, as much as the Soviet redistribution of wealth, comes in the arms of Olga, a role which Darnell plays brilliantly. Olga may be selfish, money-grubbing, and manipulative, but she's never presented as particularly evil. She grew up extremely poor with an abusive father, and now wants the finer things in life. Her desire to be "Princess of Babylon" may be a strange one, but she is no villain. Instead, the villain here is lust: The lust the men have for Olga, the lust they have to retain power, and the lust that Olga has for money. These characters make their decisions based on lust and, no matter how much they regret those choices, they make them again all the same. Only once does Olga appear resolutely evil, but pays dearly for her transgression, even she is allowed redemption. Summer Storm is about how people destroy themselves. While the characters' feelings for one another are entirely genuine, their internal struggles tear their relationships apart.

Though the film often feels cynical, Summer Storm is actually quite funny in spite of its themes. The script that Sirk wrote with Rowland Leigh bounces along at a lively pace. Some of the situations carry a delicious discomfort, especially when Olga is in the same room with all her suitors at once. When the suitors talk about her to each other, they try not to reveal their feelings, though they weigh heavily in the room. These scenes almost border on farce, but Sirk plays it with restraint. The characters are given a gentle touch and real feelings, while Sirk adds poignant and often painfully emotional set pieces to bring us back to Earth. The film is grounded in a sense of inevitability; that life progresses regardless of their choices, with or without redemption.

Darnell is especially good as Olga, but the entire cast does excellent work. Sanders, who often played a weak-willed, comical heavy, adds a good level of dignity to Fedor, a character whose veneer of respectability barely veils his desperation. Horton, a long time character actor, brings a great comic levity to his lecherous, altogether disgusting Count "Piggy." Even Anna Lee, whose role is a shell of the others', makes an excellent showing for herself as the one person who doesn't succumb to her base desires and thus is the only one left with any power in the end.

Unfortunately, the DVD for Summer Storm does not suit the quality of the film. The full frame transfer is dirty and grainy; not the worst I've seen, but not great, either. The contrast is inconsistent and lacking in detail, doing no justice to Archie Stout's beautifully sparse black and white cinematography. The sound fares no better. Though the dialog is clear enough in this mono track, the Russian-themed music -- for which Karl Hajos was nominated for an Oscar -- is warbly and sometimes difficult to hear. There are two scenes in which the music plays a very important role and, though there is little dialogue to compete with, the sound is still murky. The only extra is a twenty minute interview with author Bernard Dick, who is clearly knowledgeable about the movie and Sirk's career in general. Plus, he has one of the most affected American accents I've ever heard.

Closing Statement

Summer Storm is not nearly as rewarding or intense as Douglas Sirk's later work -- this is, by no means, Imitation of Life. However, as only his second American film, the director displays a maturity in storytelling beyond his years, creating a very enjoyable picture. The release is rather disappointing, but the film more than makes up for the inadequacies.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

"I think words are not serving me well at all."

The Case

Lou (Natasha Gregson Wagner, Lost Highway) is standing outside her boyfriend's apartment building. You see, her boyfriend has been out of town for a few weeks, and she wants to greet him when he gets home. Carla (Heather Graham, Bowfinger) is standing outside the same apartment building. Her boyfriend has been out of town for a while, too. She also wants to greet him when he gets home. Lou and Carla begin to chat casually, and suddenly they come to a startling realization: they're both in a relationship with the same guy. That guy is Blake (Robert Downey, Jr., Kiss Kiss Bang Bang), a struggling actor and clearly not an honest person. Up until this point, both Lou and Carla were very happy with Blake. He's funny, he's charming, he's kind, and he's thoughtful. What are two girls to do when they discover that their seemingly perfect guy is a philandering SOB? That's where Two Girls and a Guy starts, and the journey it takes from that point is an engaging and unpredictable ride.

The story of the film's creation is nearly as intriguing as the film itself. Writer/director James Toback had been friends with actor Robert Downey, Jr. for years. Both men had plenty of personal struggles that have been well-documented over the years. Toback was a shameless playboy and a compulsive gambler. Downey, of course, struggled with his addiction to drugs. In many ways, Two Girls and a Guy seems to be a form of therapy for both men, giving them the opportunity to explore and examine the temptations and struggles of their lives. Toback began work on the screenplay immediately after Downey was arrested in the mid-1990s, partially because he wanted to support his friend by giving him a leading role but largely because he felt that Downey was, "ready to play this part."

And what a part it is. Blake is a talented man, but absolutely incapable of really and truly accepting the truth. He manipulates and smooth-talks his way around every obstacle he can, but when he is confronted with the unshakeable, undeniable truth about who he is and what he has done, he nearly suffers a meltdown. He retreats into a victimized childishness, begging the women confronting him to just stop and leave him alone. There's a particularly striking moment when Lou and Carla are hurling angry insults at Blake, and Blake responds by turning his head and covering his face with his hands, as if attempting to protect himself from a live grenade. Only when he finds evidence that there has been some level of wrongdoing on the part of the women does he spring to life again. It's just enough to allow him to recreate the delusion that he is standing on some form of moral high ground.

The movie is just one step short of being a full-blown confession on the part of both Downey and Toback. Blake is just different enough from each of them that they can say, "Yeah, it's not really me." That may be a good thing, as far as the film is concerned. Perhaps the ability to detach themselves from the character just a little bit enabled them to create the character in a more fearless and honest manner. It's impossible to know whether the men were using this movie as a way of admitting the things they had always wanted to admit without really admitting them. Even so, it's not hard at all to see where the inspiration for this film came from when you take a look at the lives and circumstances of the pair at the time. The movie is bold and merciless in its portrayal of Blake, refusing to allow him any privacy or dignity (just watch the moment in which Downey desperately speaks to himself in a mirror, declaring, "Got to get it together!" over and over). Nonetheless, it is not heartless and lacking in compassion. This is not a film created with self-loathing, but with self-awareness.

Downey's pitch-perfect turn as Blake is undoubtedly the highlight of the film, but the actresses deserve credit for creating three-dimensional characters, too. That particularly applies to Natasha Gregson Wagner, who is the more enthusiastic and engaging of the pair. She seems carefree and innocent during her early scenes, but surprises us later when she reveals herself as the most progressively-minded character in the film. Heather Graham's Carla is a bit quieter, a bit prettier, a bit more conventional, a bit more intellectual. Blake claims to love both women deeply, but when confronted by both of him he seems to gravitate towards Carla. It's not that she's an immensely more appealing woman than Lou, just a bit more comfortable to be around due to her relative predictability. Well, seeming predictability. All of these characters have their secrets.

The film was created rather economically, as a script written in only four days was filmed in just 11. It's not a huge surprise, given that everything takes place within the confines of one apartment complex and features only three actors in significant roles. The direction is simple, allowing the characters to communicate with each other without permitting fancy visual flourishes to distract or get in the way. The film lives or dies on the strength of the performances and the screenplay. Fortunately, the movie succeeds with flying colors in both departments. I will note that some may find themselves slightly annoyed by Toback's mannered, stilted, Mamet-esque dialogue, but it's so well-delivered and intelligent that it's hard to imagine many having this problem.

This Blu-ray disc includes both the R-rated and NC-17 versions of the film. I reviewed the latter. Why is it rated NC-17? For "a scene of strong sexuality." Frankly, I'm quite surprised at the rating. Sure, it's a bit on the colorful, eyebrow-raising side, but there's no actual nudity or anything terribly shocking. Only a small trim was necessary to secure an R rating for the theatrical version of the film, but it shouldn't have been a problem. I've seen oodles of R-rated movies far more controversial in terms of content than this one.

This very stage-y film is hardly an ideal candidate for a Blu-ray release, so I can only think of two conceivable reasons that it's getting the hi-def treatment. First, it may be because of Robert Downey Jr.'s renewed popularity in recent years. Second, perhaps it's because the NC-17 version was not included on the DVD release and the folks at Fox figured that they might as well go ahead and use the Blu-ray format to make it available. Either way, it certainly doesn't look great on Blu-ray, as the transfer suffers from a number of problems. There are some scratches and flecks on occasion, there is some evidence of DNR, black crush is pretty severe at times, and flesh tones veer too heavily into orange/purple territory. Audio is also problematic, sometimes seeming a bit too distant and indistinct and other times becoming a tad too loud and distorted. Yes, it's better than the DVD release, but in contrast to other films of the '90s this transfers falls very short. Ported over from the original DVD is an audio commentary featuring Toback, Downey and Wagner, in addition to the theatrical trailer. New to this disc is a 20-minute interview with Toback that covers all of the major points touched on in the commentary. I was slightly disappointed that Toback never really addresses anything too personal, instead just focusing on the story's construction and the filmmaking process.

A minor gem of the 1990s, Two Girls and Guy is a film that deserves to be rediscovered. I think Downey is a considerably better actor in general now that he's sober, but this raw, broken performance remains one of his strongest roles. The Blu-ray release is technically worth an upgrade from the DVD, but that says far more about the DVD than it does about the quality of this disc.

The Verdict

The film is not guilty, but the Blu-ray release should have been better.

Andy: "Well, it's my first day as my own boss. I don't know when I'm gonna be home."
Jenny: "You're an accountant, Andy Barker. You go where the numbers take you...but don't be too late! That Judging Amy we TiVo-ed isn't going to watch itself."

Opening Statement

2009 has been a great year for Andy Richter fans. First, the cult classic TV show Andy Richter Controls the Universe got the DVD release most people who cared -- this reviewer included -- never thought would happen. Then, when Conan O'Brien took over for Jay Leno as host of The Tonight Show, he announced that pal Richter would join him as the show's announcer. Now, Richter's other short-lived comedy series, Andy Barker, P.I., is getting the DVD release it so desperately deserves.

Andy Barker premiered on NBC in early 2007. Co-starring Arrested Development-alum Tony Hale, Marshall Manesh (How I Met Your Mother), the late Harve Presnell (Fargo), and Clea Lewis (Ellen), Barker is a fish out of water story about an unwitting accountant-turned-P.I. who uses his unique skill set to solve mysteries. Rather than the gritty "ripped from the headlines" formula of modern police procedurals, it harkens back to classic cop shows and hard-boiled detective stories. Unfortunately, it didn't last beyond the six episodes NBC originally ordered. In fact, the network pulled the plug after only four episodes, choosing to burn off the last two in an hour-long block on a Saturday night.

Sad as this tale is, it has a happy ending. Thanks to Shout! Factory, Andy Barker, P.I.: The Complete Series is coming out on DVD, giving everyone who missed it the first time the chance to discover this sharp, stylish comedy for themselves.

Facts of the Case

Andy Barker, P.I.: The Complete Series splits the show's six episodes over two discs:

Disc One
• "Pilot"
Accountant Andy Barker opens his own business in a local strip mall, unaware that the office used to be owned by a private investigator (Harve Presnell). When a Russian blonde mistakenly hires him to find her missing husband, Andy must decide whether he wants to expand his accounting business to include detective work.

• "Fairway, My Lovely"
A grossly overweight client has a heart attack on the golf course, and the man's widow hires Andy to prove that he didn't die of natural causes.

• "Three Days of the Chicken"
Fellow strip mall entrepreneur Wally (Marshall Manesh) is being bullied by a chicken company, so Andy offers to look into it -- only to be targeted by the distributor himself.

Disc Two
• "Dial M For Laptop"
On the eve of quarterly filings, Andy must recover a stolen laptop that has his father-in-law's tax return on it.

• "The Big No Sleep"
Unable to sleep after his daughter loses her favorite toy, Andy must find a replacement, all while trying to prove that a woman is faking a serious neurological disease.

• "The Lady Varnishes"
Lew Staziak's past returns in the form of ex-lover Rita Spaulding (Amy Sedaris), who may be innocent of the murder she was convicted of more than fifty years ago.

The Evidence

Looking back, Andy Barker boasts one of the most impressive pedigrees of any cancelled TV comedy. Conan O'Brien co-created the show with Jonathan Groff, who is now a writer/producer for the CBS hit How I Met Your Mother. Barker producers went on to big shows like Psych, Battlestar Galactica, and the Emmy-winning powerhouse 30 Rock. As for Richter, he's finally found the right TV gig for him. As O'Brien's announcer, he's seen by millions of people every night -- vindication for a man who just couldn't seem to catch a break.

It's annoying that this series only lasted six episodes, but those episodes are so perfectly realized, it's hard to complain. Even with the recent trend away from multi-camera sitcoms, very few TV shows are as carefully crafted as this one. Barker is cinematic without being indulgent. It's sharply written and acted. Most importantly, it's hilarious. The comedy comes not only from the conceit of watching an accountant solve crimes, but from the fully realized characters who populate this world.

As Andy Barker, Richter plays to his strengths. No one plays flustered everyman quite as well as he does. Tony Hale plays Andy's strip mall neighbor-cum-P.I. partner Simon, an over-eager video store manager whose knowledge of obscure actors and classic film plot twists doesn't translate into real-world detective skills. Marshall Manesh plays Wally, an Afghani restaurateur who serves up equal parts U.S. rah-rah patriotism and falafel -- a poster in his eatery window proudly proclaims, "MSG NO! USA YES!" But it's Harve Presnell as grizzled ex-P.I. Lew Staziak who steals the show. Every time Andy tries to extract himself from the P.I. gig, Staziak pulls him back in -- giving this series about a milquetoast number-cruncher the grittiness it needs to work as a detective show. Clea Lewis, who plays Andy's wife Jenny, and MADtv's Nicole Randall Johnson, whose incompetent receptionist disappears after two episodes, aren't onscreen as much as their male counterparts, but it's impossible to imagine the show without them.

Andy Barker packed some impressive guest stars into its six episode run, including B-movie superstar Traci Lords as a sexy grifter, Nestor Carbonell (Richard Alpert on Lost) as a sleazy doctor, the hilarious Amy Sedaris as a framed dame with a wooden leg, and Ed Asner as Lew Staziak's crooked ex-partner.

Andy Barker, P.I. may have been unceremoniously shoved out the door by NBC, but Shout! Factory doesn't skimp on the DVD set. The Complete Series is presented in widescreen, with 5.1 surround, and has audio commentaries for every episode featuring just about everyone who worked on the show, including Groff, O'Brien, Richter, Hale, Lewis, Manesh, and Randall Johnson. Disc one also has the 30-minute "Writers Class 101" roundtable. More than your average featurette, the writers go into great detail about the writing process, character development, and comedy. It's fascinating. Disc two has a gag reel, and a lengthy making-of retrospective, "Going Where the Numbers Take You."

Closing Statement

Like a fat man running a race while eating a hoagie, Andy Barker, P.I. was hilarious, hard to look away from, and tragically short-lived. The entire series runs just over two hours in total, but that shouldn't keep comedy fans from picking up this DVD set. It would be a crime not to.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

Béla Fleck Brings the Banjo Back to Africa

The Case

If only Sears and Roebuck had made cheap, mail-order banjos as popular as their cheap, mail-order guitars, we might see kids flocking to play the latest release of Banjo Hero instead of Guitar Hero. It's not so far-fetched an idea. Both instruments have strong roots in American folk music, and at the dawn of the Twentieth century, the future supremacy could have gone either way. However, thanks to a number of factors (including cheaper mail-order guitars and advances in manufacturing and amplification technologies, not to mention changes in musical styles), the guitar went on to be the premier instrument for folk and popular music, at least in the Twentieth century. This left the banjo an odd relic, kept alive by a number of talented musicians, but mostly relegated to the status of joke: "Paddle faster, I hear banjo music."

Even though it's a joke to many, the banjo is a demanding instrument with deep roots that stretch all the way back to traditional African instruments made from gourds and string. Luckily, this noble instrument has survived thanks to a crop of talented players, many in the bluegrass field. Among those names, one stands pretty prominent in most people's eyes: Béla Fleck. He's won numerous Grammys, played with some of the greatest musicians in America, and long provided a cultured face for banjo players to look up to. So when he decided to go to Africa to record with African musicians, it was a sufficiently momentous occasion that a camera crew got involved to document his journey to four African regions (Uganda, Tanzania, Gambia, and Mali). While on this journey, Béla absorbs the native music (and its instruments) while also trying to find a place for his modern banjo.

Before I talk more about the movie, I want to pause briefly to talk about Béla Fleck as a musician. Before I saw Throw Down Your Heart, I was familiar with his work with the Flecktones and had even seen him live. Although many people notice his technical mastery of the banjo (which I will admit is ridiculously impressive), the thing that continues to draw me to his music is Béla's impressive spirit. He has spent most of his career seeking opportunities to play with musicians who are as good, if not better, than he is, not to show his mastery of the banjo, but to support them in making good music. The overriding feeling I got watching him play live was humility and generosity of spirit.

I mention all this because if most people said they were going to "take the banjo back to Africa," I would immediately be skeptical, thinking the person had some kind of white-messiah complex. With Béla, it's different. I knew going in that he would have the intelligence, generosity of spirit, and ability to listen that would make the experience about exchanging culture, not showing how the modern banjo looks so advanced compare to the gourd instruments. Throw Down Your Heart proved me right. Just about every scene features Béla interacting with native musicians, and he's always listening, whether he's playing, they're playing, or both. We watch as he's thrust into new situations, with musicians who don't speak English, with tunes that have odd time signatures or strange melodies, and we watch him adapt and contribute. Amazingly, though, it's never about him. It's hard to believe a white man could blend in amongst the African natives, but he manages, letting his banjo weave in and out of their tunes without ever trying to take them over. It's an impressive display of musicianship by all involved.

Director Sascha Paladino (who is Béla's brother) mirrors Béla's generosity of spirit in the filming of Throw Down Your Heart. Rather than trying to impose a narrative onto the material, orchestrating the journey to have some climax or to generate some conflict, Paladino just lets Béla's trip play out as it does. As such, there's not much of a "story" to the film. We watch the group go from place to place in Africa, here some of the history of individual musicians, and most importantly see lots of performances, both with and without the banjo. Because there is no "story," the film plays out more like a dialogue, with Béla talking to the musicians, and Paladino giving many of the musicians a chance to talk back, to discuss their music and its relationship to their heritage.

If I have one complaint about the film, it's that I would have liked more of a focus on the musicology behind the banjo and its origins. Very little is said about the history of the banjo in the film, and viewers unfamiliar with the way the instrument migrated thanks to the slave trade might be a little bit lost. Also, while I love watching the interaction between the musicians, some commentary from historians, either of the instruments or the music, would have been occasionally helpful to put the entire journey in context. I guess we can hope for a sequel.

As a DVD package, Throw Down Your Heart is up to Docurama's usually high standards. It was shot on video for the most part, without the benefit of lots of lighting equipment, so the source isn't always the cleanest. However, the video transfer looks faithful to what was captured, warts and all. In fact, the slightly gritty feel of much of the video actually helps the atmosphere of the film. The 5.1 soundtrack is great for the most part, and I don't envy the sound engineer who had to contend with loud instruments in bustling villages and huts. For the most part the dynamics are fine, with audible dialogue and clear music. Occasionally all the instruments hit what sounds like a resonant frequency that made me reach for the volume knob, but music fans will certainly enjoy the mix.

Extras start out with an audio commentary by Fleck and Paladino. The two are comfortable with each other and share a low-key track filled with production info, some discussion of behind-the-scenes difficulties, as well as the beautiful experiences of recording in Africa. The meat of the supplements, though, are the hour-plus collection of bonus scenes and musical performances. All the musicians involved in the film are terribly talented, and it's a treat to get to see more of them.

Throw Down Your Heart will obviously appeal to fans of both the banjo and African music, but as a documentary it has a lot to teach us about the universality of music and the ways that it can cross seemingly insurmountable differences to bring people together. Some people might miss the traditional "story" this lacks, but for those willing to get past that the film has tremendous musical performances and an emotional center that beats as loud as the traditional Ugandan marimba.

The Verdict

Throw Down Your Heart is not guilty.

A much-needed spotlight on one of Hollywood's true cinematic greats.

Opening Statement

My last encounter with Claudette Colbert was in the steamy 1930s version of Cleopatra, which was closely followed by the Hays Code when it hit movie screens. While moviegoers never got to see that much of the beautiful Colbert again, the French-born actress started a successful screwball comedy career with Three-Cornered Moon. Colbert also proved that she could stand out while hiding behind a Puritan bonnet in Maid of Salem. Those are just two of the six Colbert classics in Universal's The Claudette Colbert Collection:

Facts of the Case

The six black-and-white movies, made from 1933 to 1947, are on three discs:

Disc One
Three-Cornered Moon (1933)
"What's it all about? Going to bed at night, getting up in the morning. What for?"
"It's that cheese you ate last night."
Moody rich girl Liz (Colbert) has a lot of angst and a writer boyfriend, much to the dismay of a hardworking doctor who fancies her. When the margins are called on her mother's stock, Liz and her family are going to get some lessons about what's important.

Maid of Salem (1937)
"You're a bold piece, Barbara, with your frippery. What you have need of is a man of character to restrain you."
Barbara (Colbert), a Puritan woman in Salem, isn't interested in a wealthy elder's attention, but instead favors a Virginia fugitive (Fred MacMurray, Double Indemnity) with a definitely impure lust for life. When the witch trials hit town, she could get burned -- or at least hanged -- because of her secret romance.

Disc Two
I Met Him in Paris (1937)
"I'm going to Paris as a one-woman rebellion against everything sweet and conventional."
Kay's (Colbert) once-in-a-lifetime trip to Paris takes a detour to a Swiss resort when she meets two men, young writer Gene (Robert Young, Father Knows Best) and older playwright George (Melvyn Douglas, Theodora Goes Wild), both of whom have fallen for her. There's a complication: Gene is married.

Bluebeard's Eighth Wife (1938)
"A man with your manners can't possibly afford to have less than fifty million dollars."
Down-on-her-luck aristocrat Nicole (Colbert) has already fallen for the wealthy Michael Brandon (Gary Cooper, Mr. Deeds Goes to Town) and married him. She still needs to teach the oft-married tycoon that a marriage contract is more than a business deal.

Disc Three
No Time For Love (1943)
"He's simply a muddy man who works in a tunnel."
Still, photographer Katherine Grant (Colbert) can't get brawling Jim Ryan (Fred MacMurray) out of her mind. When he gets suspended, thanks to her photos of him brawling, Katherine decides that hiring him as her assistant might diminish the attraction.

The Egg and I (1947)
"Can't you just picture it, Betty? Just you and me, all by ourselves -- with thousands and thousands of chickens, every one of them laying eggs all day long."
Newlywed Betty (Colbert) is horrified when her husband Bob (Fred MacMurray) buys a chicken farm. She could get used to it, though, if she weren't afraid of losing her husband to too-friendly neighbor Harriet Putnam. The movie based on Betty MacDonald's book, introduced Ma and Pa Kettle to the moviegoing world.

The Evidence

Three-Cornered Moon may be "the first genuine 'screwball' comedy," according to a trivia page on the box. While romance, silly characters, and overlapping conversations are included, I'd describe it as a Depression-era morality tale rather than the fluff you'd think of today. At the outset, Liz and her siblings are vapid: one's a would-be actor with a pretentious accent; another, a law clerk, wants to pack up and just flee; and a third is a partying college student. Their mother spends money, but doesn't know what a margin is, and doesn't notice that her bank balance is down to $1.65. Having to go out and work -- Liz finds herself fending off the advances of a married boss while learning how to operate a shoe-making machine -- teaches them what's really important. Heck, Liz seems almost liberated by the lack of money, gradually turning a moody pout into a warm smile. Throughout, she laughs -- or at least cracks wise -- during all of her family's travails.

Maid of Salem is the only movie here that isn't a comedy. Colbert plays an unlikely Puritan, looking as radiant as Cleopatra in a lace bonnet and becoming a Sunday sermon subject for it. Thus, even before she stands up against the witch hunters, you just know she's going to be on trial herself. Colbert sounds like a twentieth century woman as she meets with Fred MacMurray and defends herself against witchcraft charges. MacMurray's fugitive is one-dimensional and broadly played, but that makes him a sharp contrast to the strict, even scary, elders of Salem. An optimistic ending seems out of place.

Robert Young, a television father figure, plays a charming cad in I Met Him In Paris. Here, Colbert's a more naïve character who could get swept away by Young's cad, drawing the protective attention of Melyvn Douglas' older, wiser bachelor. Colbert's likable and fairly straightlaced here, a stand-in for female moviegoers.

Bluebeard's Eighth Wife is an outrageous retelling of The Taming of the Shrew, with Gary Cooper's tycoon reading the play as he tries to deal with his new bride, unaware that she has the same intentions. It takes a lot to make a woman who would drive her husband to a nervous breakdown likable, but Colbert pulls it off. Side gags about pomposity in a French department store and a cure for insomnia are also good.

Colbert again finds a strong comic sparring partner in No Time For Love. Since he's a near-compulsive brawler who can throw a fancy dinner party into chaos, one wouldn't expect Fred MacMurray's Jim Ryan to catch the fancy of a magazine photographer who lives in a movie-perfect New York apartment. Still, MacMurray and Colbert are fun to watch as they bicker.

The Egg and I, with the episodic feel of an anecdotal book turned into a movie, feels like sitcom fodder. MacMurray and Colbert show off gifts for slapstick while playing more realistic characters. Colbert's Betty shows a sweetness not emphasized elsewhere in the set as she tames a "vicious" hunting dog and makes fast friends with her neighbors. While the story may make you think of Green Acres, Colbert avoids glamour here.

Whether glamorous or down-to-earth, Colbert comes across as a friendly, intelligent wisecracker who doesn't take things too seriously. The movies here are mostly star vehicles for Colbert; I'd call Bluebeard's Eighth Wife, No Time For Love, and The Egg and I the best in the set, mainly because of the strong chemistry she shares with Cooper and MacMurray.

A brief bonus, "Claudette Colbert: Queen of the Silver Screen," provides an admiring look at her career. There's also a trailer for the re-release of The Egg and I. The box features trivia for each movie.

Picture quality is decent for the movies' vintage. You'll find flecks and grain, though, particularly in the first three.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

The movies here are good showcases for Claudette Colbert, but the silliness of Three-Cornered Moon and I Met Him in Paris won't stick in your mind much after you've seen them, and Maid of Salem could prove to be an unintentional comedy, since Colbert hardly seems Puritan.

Closing Statement

Fans of Claudette Colbert will enjoy this collection, and, even if you aren't, the mix of romance and comedy is fun.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

"I'm stupid because I want some answers about a murder. Is that it?" -- Glenn Ford, in The Big Heat

Opening Statement

My interest as a DVD reviewer is always piqued by what I call "big boxes of noir." Hundreds of tightly made little crime films were churned out by studios through the '40s and '50s. While a few, like Double Indemnity or The Maltese Falcon, have grown into legendary status, most have vanished into obscurity. The latest "big box of noir" to turn up in my mailbox is Columbia Pictures Film Noir Classics I, a set of five black-and-white crime movies from the studio's catalogue. While the movies don't sound as familiar as The Maltese Falcon, this set boasts stars like Glenn Ford, Lee Marvin, and Kim Novak. It also includes introductions by Martin Scorcese, Michael Mann, and Christopher Nolan on four of the selections.

Facts of the Case

Each of the five movies is on its own disc:

The Sniper
"Most killers are caught because of motive. There's no motive here."
Eddie Miller (Arthur Franz, That Championship Season), a veteran with a criminal record, delivers dry cleaning, including that of nightclub pianist Jean Darr (Marie Windsor, The Narrow Margin). She offers Eddie a beer, but hustles him out the back way when her boyfriend turns up. Soon, Eddie's waiting outside her club with a rifle, starting a shooting spree that will terrorize San Francisco.

The Big Heat
"No man's an island, Dave. You can't set yourself against the world and get away with it."
Dave Bannion (Glenn Ford, Plunder of the Sun) is going to try, though. He's trying to figure out the link between a cop's suicide and the death of a nightclub B-girl. After his wife is killed by a car bomb meant for him, he's out for revenge. Lee Marvin (The Dirty Dozen) plays one of the baddies in the story based on William P. McGivern's serial in The Saturday Evening Post. Fritz Lang directs.

5 Against the House
"It'd be easier to knock off Fort Knox."
That isn't going to stop Ronnie (Kerwin Matthews, The 3 Worlds of Gulliver) from coming up with the perfect plan for robbing a Reno casino. His college buddies think it's a prank that could be the perfect cure for the midterm blues -- all except Al (Guy Madison, Adventures of Wild Bill Hickok), that is. Al's planning on marrying a nightclub singer (Kim Novak, Vertigo), and the heist could make for a rough honeymoon. Based on a Jack Finney (Invasion of the Body Snatchers) story in Good Housekeeping, it features Brian Keith (Family Affair) and William Conrad (Cannon).

The Lineup
"It makes no sense. No sense at all."
Police are baffled by a strange incident at the pier in San Francisco: after a porter tossed a traveler's bag into a cab, the cab took off, running down a cop before crashing. Heroin is found in a statue in the bag, leading police to a ring that uses unwitting tourists for smuggling.

Murder By Contract
"I don't do rush contracts. I may be on this an hour, a day, or a week."
Claude (Vince Edwards), a "contractor" from out East, comes to L.A. to rub out a witness. His leisurely attitude about the job drives two mob messenger boys crazy, but there's a method to his madness. Even so, a couple of mistakes could lead to a dead end in Claude's promising career.

The Evidence

While not specific, The Sniper attempts to get in the mind of its killer, hinting that rejection and a mother's abuse might be motives through Eddie's reactions. The character might be a psychological profile instead of a full-fledged human, but Franz as Eddie makes the sniper believable, with chilling results. His eyes and expressions, not to mention his shifts between soft-spoken meekness and rage, convey Eddie's thoughts, even when the script doesn't fully form them. I'll second Martin Scorcese's opinion in the introduction that location filming in San Francisco adds to the "disturbing" nature of The Sniper. Its hills and peninsula location create a landscape made for cinematic noir, and The Sniper uses them to create a claustrophobic tension. The worst part of the movie is the obvious clue that Eddie leaves at a murder scene, leading to a dramatic standoff finale, but a trailer calling it "SUSPENSE entertainment" and sensationalizing it could come close.

Introducing The Big Heat, Michael Mann points out how original it was at the time of release, although its tale of a cop without a badge seeking revenge is the stuff of cliché by now. Even so, the performances make it a strong one. Glenn Ford balances the vengeance with humanity through fistfights and silent mourning. Gloria Grahame gives the strongest supporting performance as a gangster's moll who hilariously mocks her boyfriend and his boss, and then turns serious when things get dangerous. Fritz Lang creates set pieces -- most notably the scene in which Ford's Bannion hears his wife's car explode as he's telling his daughter a bedtime story -- that pack the maximum dramatic effect. Surprise twists at the end are satisfying, and, for once, the trailer helps keep them surprises.

The trailer for 5 Against the House calls it "the year's most unusual picture." Although I can't recall every picture released in 1955, I don't think this was just studio hyperbole. The offbeat plot hook -- a college student planning the perfect heist as a prank -- sounds like a big joke at first, but the story takes a dramatic turn, thanks to the performance of Brian Keith as a shellshocked Korean War vet. A fight early in the story shows Keith's volatile character, and how hard he's working to keep in control. The movie mostly revolves around Keith and Guy Madison as the straightlaced war buddy who's watching out for him, although there are good moments with Kim Novak as the romantic interest and William Conrad as a frightened casino worker who throws a monkey wrench into their perfect scheme. It starts out slowly, but if you stick with it, there's a payoff.

The trailer for The Lineup suggests that it's a souped-up version of a then-popular TV show. That would explain the title, because the lineup sequence in the movie doesn't yield any leads. It's a police procedural in Jack Webb's Dragnet style, with a car chase full of obvious process shots at the end. Robert Keith's turn as a cold villain and the San Francisco scenery are the best elements in an otherwise routine movie. It's not bad, although it feels weak next to the other movies in the set. Christopher Nolan's comments are more generally about the genre than about the movie itself.

I don't think Martin Scorcese used the word "stylish" in his introduction to Murder By Contract, and I'm not sure how he avoided it (He does use the word "unique," though). Vince Edwards in his shades plots his murders with a laidback attitude, and there's a jazzy electric guitar score that you won't forget. The murders and attempts aren't graphic, but have an offbeat quality to them; when Claude shows up at a barbershop, you just know the guy's gonna get it with a razor blade, even if you don't see the actual crime. Director Irving Lerner isn't playing things for laughs, but he's obviously having fun with the story. Since it's one of Scorcese's influences, it spawns a talk about some of the director's other influences.

I didn't see any noticeable visual flaws; it looks like Columbia was serious when they said they took the time to clean the movies up as much as possible.

In addition to original movie trailers, most of which tell you too much about the movies, two of the films have commentary tracks. Eddie Muller, founder and president of the Film Noir Foundation, goes solo on The Sniper. It's got locations shot in his native San Francisco, and he provides lots of insights into the movie and the city. For The Lineup, he teams with author James Ellroy. This commentary didn't work very well. I didn't care for Ellroy's crude, profane tough guy persona; somehow F-bombs didn't fit with a '50s B-movie.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

With movies like The Sniper, The Big Heat, and Murder by Contract, you could get that odd déjà vu feeling you get when you watch an original movie that has influenced a lot of directors over the years.

Closing Statement

Columbia Pictures Film Noir Classics I is one of the best box sets I've seen in a while. The movies all fit the theme nicely, four out of five are not only excellent but memorable examples of the genre, and there's enough material to put the movies in context, even though James Ellroy's commentary didn't work. Each of the movies could have been the main picture in a set and made for a worthwhile purchase for noir fans.

The Verdict

Not guilty. These really are killer Bs.

"Oh oh catch that buzz
Love is the drug I'm thinking of
Oh oh can't you see
Love is the drug for me."

-- "Love is the Drug"

The Case

Rock 'n' Roll has never really seen the likes of Roxy Music, before or even since; no other band combined so many disparate elements so seamlessly. Since emerging with their self-titled first album in 1972, Roxy Music was simultaneously retro and futuristic, elegant and crude, arty and guttural. Singer/songwriter Bryan Ferry dressed in stylish suits and wrote intricate songs with ironic lyrics about the idle rich, crooning them with as much ennui as he could muster. The remaining band members, however, frequently played his songs with a ferocious punch. Guitarist Phil Manzanera cranked out vicious shards of metallic noise, saxophonist Andy Mackay blasted raucous solos, drummer Paul Thompson hit as hard as Led Zeppelin's John Bonham, and synthesizer player Brian Eno (who would leave the band to become a major musical force in his own right) added unearthly electronic noises. Roxy Music played like a futuristic version of a '50s lounge act, with a striking visual edge that took David Bowie's vision of glam to an ironic extreme. In the process, they laid the groundwork for virtually every major British artist of the late-'70s and '80s, including many punk, new wave, and modern rock artists.

That's why More Than This: The Story of Roxy Music is something of a disappointment. It's a reasonably coherent and entertaining history of the band from their early days to their breakup in 1983, and subsequent reunion in 2001. It is not, however, remotely comprehensive. There is a lot that's left out and a lot that's added here that's just superfluous. At only 52 minutes, it's just too skimpy to really tell the whole story.

Much of the problem is that, while the original members of Roxy Music are all interviewed here (even the normally reclusive Eno), none have much to say. Ferry, never a revealing interview, barely speaks for more than a sentence or two at a time and his appearances on the entire disc are scanty. Eno is surprisingly garrulous, but once his part of the story ends, namely when he leaves the band in 1973 after their second album, he doesn't appear much. The remaining members discuss what they can, but because they were each only a part of the overall vision (which was mainly Ferry's) they really can't fill in much more than a few details here and there. Too much of the disc is taken up with interviews with rock critics and other musicians who cite Roxy as an influence, including U2's Bono, Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones, and goth-punk siren Siouxsie Sioux, amongst others. These are just not that interesting, since they mostly repeat each other: Roxy was an unusual and influential band, they changed the sound and look of British rock, and so on. This doesn't add much to what fans want to know about the band.

The DVD isn't bad, necessarily. The opening section on how Ferry's art-school education led to how he defined Roxy's look is an interesting aspect of the band that's rarely explored. All of Eno's interviews are worth watching; he has plenty to say about his time with the band, which only lasted a couple of years. It's especially fascinating to hear his take on why his departure from the band was probably inevitable from the beginning. There's also some footage of the band reunited and working in the studio for the first time since 1982, even including Eno. Still, there are still too many holes in this documentary. Why did Roxy split up between 1976 and 1979? How did violinist/keyboardist Eddie Jobson replace Eno in 1973, and why didn't he rejoin the band in 1979? How were the two of the band's most important albums, Country Life (1974) and Siren (1975), written and recorded? There is little here about any of that. More than anything, it's the lack of in-depth discussion about the band's music, apart from a few key songs like "Love is the Drug" and "Avalon," that really makes More Than This less useful than it could have been.

The bonus features are interesting, but only fill in some gaps slightly. There are some extended interviews (28:54) that address Roxy's album art, the fact that the band had different bassists on each album, and a slightly more extended interview with Jobson. These are all worth watching, but they still leave too many questions unanswered. There are also three bonus performances filmed in London on July 22, 2006, from Roxy's recent reunion tour. The three songs -- "Both Ends Burning," "Editions of You," and "Do the Strand" -- are very good, but they either should have been augmented with performances from the band's classic era, or they should have been excised in favor of more interview footage that filled in the holes left in the main feature.

Technically, the DVD is up to Eagle Rock's usual high standards. The 1.78:1 anamorphic transfer is solid, although some of the archival footage does show its age. The main feature and bonus interviews both come with a good Dolby stereo mix, but the bonus songs also come with Dolby Digital 5.1 and DTS Surround mixes. These are impressive, although not quite as loud as Eagle Rock's mixes usually are.

Nonetheless, there's no fault with Eagle Rock's presentation; it's the content that's a letdown. Here is one of the most important and influential bands in rock history, one that deserves to have its story told. Roxy Music fans have been waiting a long time for a definitive account of the band's music and career, but sadly, More Than This is simply too short and skimpy to fit the bill. The new interviews and footage do make it of value to fans, but. because it shortchanges too many important musical aspects of the band's career, it's simply not as good as it should have been. Newcomers would do better to start with one of Roxy's essential albums such as Roxy Music, Country Life, or 1982's Avalon instead.

The Verdict

Not guilty, but more by virtue of the subject rather than the execution.

"I didn't kill ____!"

-- Fill in the blank, get the theme of every movie on The Rockford Files: Movie Collection, Volume 1

The Case

Full disclosure: Until I sat down to review this set, I'd never seen an episode of The Rockford Files. I knew of it, of course -- iconic '70's detective show, with iconic '70's icon, James Garner -- and I was acquainted with the iconic theme song.

The Rockford Files: Movie Collection, Volume 1, however, is not the place to turn for a '70s fix. This is a quartet of TV movies made in the '90s, more than a decade after the original series left the air.

I Still Love LA: Rockford is trying to sell the trailer he lives in at the beach, but unfortunately, the potential buyers show up on the day of the 1992 Rodney King riots. He actually encounters everything terrible that LA can throw at him, including fires, an earthquake, looters -- and the case of a former movie star shot in her own drive-way.

A Blessing in Disguise: When Rockford's friend and sidekick Angel (Stuart Margolin, Death Wish) becomes a successful televangelist, he calls for the boycott of a "blasphemous" film, and Rockford finds himself protecting the film's star (Renee O'Connor) from a group of crazed Christian extremists. But when a producer turns up dead, Rockford fears that his client might be next.

If the Frame Fits...: Someone has murdered one of Rockford's rivals and set Jim up to take the fall. Rockford finds himself outrunning the police, the FBI -- and the people who set him up. Dyan Cannon guest stars as a friend of Rockford's late father.

Godfather Knows Best: Rockford's underachieving godson -- whose father is the PI's police buddy, Lt. Dennis Becker (Joe Santos, The Sopranos) -- is accused of murdering a wealthy model. The guy's such a spoiled and surly punk, even Rockford's not sure if he did it.

Although I'd never seen the original program, these movies made it fairly easy to catch up on what I'd missed. The characters all get a few bits to introduce themselves and show off their various quirks. Since I Still Love LA was the first Rockford Files movie, there's a fair amount of exposition for those who might have forgotten what had been going on in 1980.

In these films, the "mystery" aspect takes a back seat to character, story, and quirky set pieces. Maybe this is how the show was, but at times, it seems that each 90 or so minute "movie" is kinda padded; I could see these easily being cut down to 40-some minutes to fit a traditional 60-minute time slot.

I Still Love LA focuses more on catching up with Rockford and seeing how he's weathered the years (not well, I'm guessing, though not terribly). The movie takes a lot of shots at LA in the early '90s, with the Rodney King riot stuff in questionable taste and really not necessary to the story. The point is to show what an unpleasant place LA was to live (and to add some business with Angel), but it just seems a little heavy handed and off-putting to use such a current (at the time) event in a light-hearted show like this. We also see how aging has affected Rockford, which makes for some pretty funny scenes.

A Blessing in Disguise is another Angel-heavy episode, and Stuart Margolin -- who won a pair of Emmys for this role in the '70s -- is very entertaining. The episode itself, which includes a guest appearance by confrontational talk show host Morton Downey Jr., is a little soft. Scenes of crazed, backwoodsy religious zealots protesting a movie really date this, as does Downey's cameo, and it's a long set up before we get to the "mystery" part, which is pretty easy to figure out.

Angel doesn't much figure into If the Frame Fits... and Godfather Knows Best. These are just-OK episodes that probably would have worked better in the shorter format. Frame features an awfully convoluted resolution and Godfather a ridiculously simple one. Rockford doesn't do a lot of sleuthing here; solutions pretty much offer themselves to him, and he makes a lot of good guesses. Cannon and Gretchen Corbett -- who appeared for a few seasons on the series -- offer up good support in Frame, and both episodes feature some fun set pieces (including a few side trips to a Buddhist monastary in Godfather), but these two are as forgettable as they are enjoyable.

The draw here, of course, is Garner, who might be the most likeable male TV star in the history of the medium. Even though he's well into his sixties in these movies, and looks every day of it, he's still got "it" -- the presence, the charisma, and the endless charm. He's also aging both realistically and gracefully. There's no pretense that Rockford is still a young(ish) guy; he's more father/uncle figure. Although an ex-wife turns up in one episode and an ex-lover in another, there are no romantic entanglements; frankly, he just seems a bit too tired for all that. His interactions with Margolin's Angel are always fun, though in the "Angel light" episodes, Rockford's favorite hustler sometimes seems more like a prop.

The four films are spread out over two discs and sport acceptable full-frame transfers. There are no extras on this set. Audio and video are decent, probably no different than when these were broadcast.

The Verdict

I kinda wish I'd caught a few episodes of The Rockford Files before plunging into this set. The films are entertaining enough, if overly padded, but I think I would have gotten more out of this if I'd already been a Rockford fan. On the other hand, if you're a fan of The Rockford Files, you will likely enjoy these a lot.

Not guilty.

The ultimate concert venue for a prog-rock classic.

The Case

As legend has it, when Rick Wakeman first released The Six Wives of Henry VIII in 1973, he made a special request to do a performance of the album at Hampton Court. That request never went through, until the opportunity finally arrived in 2009. This disc records that concert, a special part of Henry VIII's 500th anniversary celebration.

You are probably already feeling one of two things. Either you are excited that Rick Wakeman finally got this opportunity and are currently fiddling with your iPod to get some classic prog-rock going, or you are ready to move on as a Rick Wakeman non-fan, wondering what all the fuss is about.

It seems the audience at Hampton Court shares the same mix of people. It's fascinating as the camera turns back to the crowd. Some people are standing and cheering as though the Beatles had just gotten back together, and others are sitting and watching quietly, looking just a little perplexed by the whole affair.

Therefore, we can group the rest of the review into two sections. The first is for those who have no interest in Rick Wakeman, since it's an easier recommendation: don't bother. The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Live at Hampton Court isn't going to convert anyone to prog-rock fandom, nor is it going to have a major impact on Wakeman's popularity with any group. For me, the whole album feels like a build-up to a better piece of music, almost like a soundtrack with the melody removed. That's a bit unfair, since the concert is both well-orchestrated and performed, but the synthesizers that Wakeman plays so well don't match up that great alongside an honest-to-goodness orchestra and choir. To me, it's sort of like having Jimmy Page play backup to a guy playing the banjo.

For fans of prog-rock and Rick Wakeman, however, this disc offers a much greater value. The show has a fascinating combination of Hampton Court-level class and early '70s glitz, and Wakeman has gone all-out by hiring Brian Blessed (Henry V) to read the between-songs information about the six wives. Blessed digs in with gusto, even though it sometimes appears that he didn't take the time to read these descriptions before arriving on the stage. The music is clearly better-rehearsed, as the performance shows the level of polish that you would expect from a concert of this pedigree.

More importantly, The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Live at Hampton Court has arrived on a fine Blu-Ray disc. The concert stage is bathed in dim red and blue light, which was the kiss of death for many concert DVDs. The high-def recording retains much more detail, though it is always blatantly clear that it was shot in high def digital. Overall, it's a video transfer that will please fans. The audio comes in a highly recommended DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio track, as well as a standard Dolby 5.1 and Linear PCM 2.0. It's a reasonably conservative mix, that places most of the audio squarely in the front soundstage, wisely using the rear channels to add a bit of depth. If you're a huge fan of the album, this won't replace being at Hampton Court for the concert, but it's about as close as you can get. The disc has a production featurette and some liner notes, but nothing else in the way of special features.

If it sounds like The Six Wives of Henry VIII: Live at Hampton Court is a disc you would want in your collection, it probably is. For everyone else, this is not going to sell you on Rick Wakeman or his music. That said, it's a solid enough release to earn a good solid...

The Verdict

Not guilty.

From call-girl murders, land disputes, business fallouts and celebrity protection, VEGA$ covers the underbelly of the shimmering desert oasis in Nevada.

Opening Statement

If you turned on the TV in 1978, you had a very good chance of watching a program with the name Aaron Spelling in the credits. Starsky and Hutch was winding down from a successful run, Charlie's Angels was in its heyday and Fantasy Island was about to add "de plane" to our pop culture vocabulary. 1978 was also the year of Vega$. Believed to be the first series shot entirely in Las Vegas, the series wasn't all about the glitz and glamour of the casinos. More often than not, it was about the bad things that happen when power and money meet poverty and the streets. This is Vega$: The First Season, Volume 1.

Facts of the Case

Dan Tanna (Robert Urich, The Ice Pirates) is a laidback P.I. who lives in an industrial building behind the Desert Inn casino in Las Vegas. He parks his pristine T-Bird in his living room. Keeps in touch via a car phone (1978, remember) and he has a soft spot for stray dogs and dumb blonds (Judy Landers).

He is ably assisted by Beatrice (Phyllis Davis), a single mom who choreographs showgirls when she's not working for Dan and to a lesser extent, Binzer (Bart Braverman), a former thief who does a lot of Dan's legwork.

Tony Curtis (Some Like It Hot) also stars as Philip Roth, owner of the Desert Inn and frequent client, and Greg Morris (Mission: Impossible) playing Dan's connection to the police department.

There are 11 episodes on this DVD, only half of the first season.

Disc One
• "High Roller"
• "Centerfold"
• "The Game Girls Play"

Disc Two
• "Mother Mishkin"
• "Love, Laugh, and Die"
• "Yes, My Darling Daughter"
• "Lady Ice"

Disc Three
• "Milliken's Stash"
• "The Pageant"
• "Lost Women"
• "Second Stanza"

The Evidence

Flip to the middle of any episode on this DVD, and you could be watching an episode of Starsky & Hutch or Charlie's Angels. There's just something about an Aaron Spelling cop show that is familiar -- be it the lighting, camera angles, guest stars or plots.

Vega$'s hook is the locale, Sin City, and yet most of the stories could have been set in Los Angeles, Chicago, or any popular city. Dan does stroll through a casino once an episode, and there are plenty of showgirls and bikini-clad tourists wandering around in the background, but the essence of what makes Vegas, Vegas is totally missing.

The show feels like it was trying to be edgy with stories of rape, prostitution, and sex slaves but the episodes themselves are extremely tame. In "Lost Women," villain Cesar Romero invites a group of showgirls to his estate for a party, then drugs them and prepares to ship them out as sex slaves in the Middle East. Dan stumbles upon the plot, is captured and locked in a room with one of the girls (her hands are bound but he's left free) while Romero and his cronies escape with the rest of the girls. It's laughable and there's no sense of urgency in regard to saving the other girls.

And then there's Angie, played by perpetually dizzy Judy Landers. Dan's supposed to be a professional P.I., yet he has a girl answering his phone who literally gets herself wound up in the audio tape when she tries to fix his reel-to-reel answering machine.

These first 11 episodes suffer from an identity crisis. It's like they couldn't decide if they were making a serious cop show or a fluffy, cozy mystery. "Games Girls Play" deals with a senator and an anti-pornography bill, but "Mother Mishkin" is about an aging madam with a heart of gold. I feel like the producers made an effort to include some kind of sexual content in every episode but then watered that content down in order to keep the show fit for families. What a mess.

Keeping with the "what a mess" theme -- we have this DVD release. First of all, there are only 22 episodes in the first season and still they break it up into two volumes? Why? The box art fits the cheesy '70s style but I wish they would have done something to spiff it up. The three discs are in a flipper case with the episode descriptions hidden on the back of the cover art. They do get points for decent descriptions and a nice list of guest stars (a plentiful list including Anne Francis of Honey West, Ross Martin of The Wild, Wild West, Kim Basinger, and Robert Reed and Maureen McCormick playing father and daughter in a very un-Brady Bunch episode).

The only special features are episode promos on some of the episodes. These promos are poor quality and the audio is way too loud. The overall audio is pretty poor. I found myself constantly needing to adjust the volume up and down. The video, however, was better than I expected.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Vega$ does have one very big, saving grace and that's its star Robert Urich. Urich, who was known to TV audiences as one of the co-stars of S.W.A.T., had an easy, good-old-boy charm and the body of a Hollywood hunk. That boy could work a pair of jeans like nobody's business, and when he smiled every woman within ten miles felt the pull.

Urich was hot but he didn't act it. He came across both on screen and off, as a down-to-earth guy who was counting his blessings, and he's the reason Vega$ remained on the air for three seasons.

Closing Statement

Vegas$ is one of those shows that I remember as being better than it turned out to be on DVD. The series has rarely been run since its original airing so my memory has had plenty of time to gloss over the issues that I'm noticing now. I've heard from other fans that you shouldn't judge the entire series on this poor start. They say the show gets tighter and more dramatic as the season progresses and that would be in line with the way I remember it. So let's chalk this one up to a bad start and wait for the next DVD release before we make any rash judgments about Vegas$.

The Verdict

This court finds Vega$: The First Season, Volume 1 to be guilty but the court reserves the right to rescind the decision upon reviewing further evidence.

Ask not what your country can do for you, but what have I done to your country?

The Case

Many a Saturday Night Live performer has been seduced by Hollywood to make a feature length film around a character they portrayed on the show. In most cases (e.g., It's Pat and Superstar), the result has been failure and a quick end to the individual's movie career. Will Ferrell (Step Brothers) has been one of the rare successful exceptions that was able to go beyond his initial SNL inspired film: A Night At The Roxbury.

Ferrell's success allowed him to create the one-man Broadway show, You're Welcome America: A Final Night with George W. Bush, bringing his SNL caricature of George W. Bush to the stage. However, the one-dimensional characterization that worked in short SNL sketches doesn't hold up over an extended timeframe: 90 minutes of non-stop buffoonery is about 85 minutes too many. The problem is that Ferrell is satisfied with simply going for easy laughs that he already capitalized on years ago. He acts out Bush's ineptitude through college, business ventures, being governor of Texas, rebuilding New Orleans after Katrina, dealing with 9/11, the Iraq War, penchant for giving people nicknames, etc. But Ferrell already did most of this on SNL, so why do it all over again?

The real George W. Bush's natural incompetence and closed-mindedness was already able to deliver laughs (although, in reality, the failures he presided over are more regrettable and sad rather than humorous) because he's wasn't even trying to be funny. Therefore, a one-man show needs to do more than a give the audience an impersonation. It needs to present a deeper look into the man's mind and actions and mine those to comedic effect (e.g., try to attach some ulterior motives to his policies and administration or present Bush's malapropisms and pratfalls as an act). There's no point to exclusively portraying the man as a pure fool because that would, and does, get tedious rather fast. Unfortunately, Ferrell takes the path of least effort. The show rarely rises above showing the ex-president as a bumbling simpleton. The lone attempt at seriousness is a short contemplative moment about the loss of life in Iraq.

Ferrell does throw some new wrinkles in the show, such as Bush admitting to a homosexual relationship and a desire to sleep with Condoleezza Rice, a story of being trapped in a mine shaft, a lot of cheap shots at Barbara Bush, and showing the audience a blown-up picture of his testicles. Oh, there's also a dancing secret service agent. The Condoleezza Rice segment is particularly pointless and appears to be there solely to pad the show's running time. Needless to say, none of this is engaging or entertaining.

The audio and video as solid as one would expect for an HBO special. The transfer is clear and the colors are strong. The audio does the job. Ferrell, the audience, soundtrack and sound effects come through fine.

The extras add little value. There is an unremarkable "Making Of" featurette which interviews Ferrell, Adam McKay (Talladega Nights), and other members of the cast and crew. The second extra is a "Bush on Bush" interview that sees two Georges in conversation. It's a stupid conversation, but that's what the goal is, I suppose. There's also a lame "True of False" trivia game, plus a digital copy.

The disastrous presidency of George W. Bush is ripe for satire. However, this show has low aspirations and does little with the fertile material. In the end, if you rabidly hate Bush and just want to relive his missteps, you'll love this. If not, you'll probably lose interest quickly.

The Verdict

Guilty.

They came from upstairs

The Case

Aliens in the Attic is a pretty joyless children's film. A few moments of well executed physical comedy aside, it fails to generate much in the way of laughs or charm. The movie has been constructed with the under-10 market in mind; anyone over that age will be bored stiff, and in truth even the younger audience members might have their attention span maxed out by this dreary summer effort. The movie didn't perform particularly strongly during its theatrical run, and I have to say I'm glad; the prospect of a sequel to this insipid kiddy flick would pretty much highlight everything that's wrong with current mainstream cinema.

The story (though I fear that's too generous a description for the narrative here) follows the Pearson clan as they head on vacation, only for the non-adult members to find out that a group of diminutive but vicious aliens have landed in their destination's attic. The aliens want to take over the world, the kids obviously don't like this, and so a goofy little battle occurs between the two factions. Thrown into the mix are a teenage romance, a cute and non-violent alien, and a kung-fu interlude involving an elderly woman. If it all sounds plodding and predictably cringe inducing, that's because it mostly is.

Prior to tearing Aliens in the Attic apart, I should point out there are two performances I liked in the movie: Ashley Tisdale (High School Musical 3) playing the older Pearson sister and Robert Hoffman (She's the Man) portraying her jerky and cocksure boyfriend. Some of the sparring matches between the two are pretty amusing and through a plot device deployed about 20 minutes in, Hoffman gets a real chance to display some wacky physical comedy. They only appear sporadically but easily represent the best the movie has to offer in terms of entertainment value. Both have to parade around for large portions of the movie in swimwear (Tisdale in particular), which seems a little unnecessary given the target audience. Still got to give the parents who sit through this thing something...right?

The other performances are bland to the point of invisibility; none of the other young actors struck me as passable let alone talented. The voice work for the aliens is a little more creative, though their characterization is just as lame as anybody else, particularly an unfunny and thoroughly wince-inducing E.T. romance that seems to brew as a comical subplot. The action scenes are generically constructed and rely heavily on some pretty mediocre CGI, whilst the screenplay is peppered with some of the broadest and most embarrassing jokes I've seen all year. The direction is weak and fails to infuse much of a tempo into proceedings, the rushed and obvious finish proof enough that this is assembly line cinema, built to make a fast buck, rather than offer an enjoyable time for kids. Aliens in the Attic is plain and simply a very bad film, soon to be forgotten and completely undeserving of the prime July release date it received earlier this year. The film would from a quality perspective be much more at home in the dismal February/September windows, though admittedly it made less than expected so justice was properly served.

The DVD provided was a screener so the technical aspects have not been considered in the final score. The bonus content on this release is very much aimed at children, something I have no great problem with, but it ultimately descends to the same levels of unintelligent blandness as the feature. Ashley Tisdale clearly feigns enthusiasm in both intros to the film and the extras, whilst the featurettes available are a muddle of hug and love celebration between cast and crew combined with basic filmmaking insight. An alternate ending is present which doesn't really change very much (and features a lot of incomplete FX work) whilst the deleted scenes are no more monotonous than anything in the actual film. There is quite a bit here for nippers to work through but ultimately it all feels too bland and inconsequential to deserve a recommendation.

The Verdict

Aliens in the Attic is the sort of effort that gives kids' movies a bad name. It's utterly contrived and lacks any sort of ambition, and even at 86 minutes feels punishing in length. Save your money and wait for UP or a few of the other better summer movies to appear on DVD.

Oh and if you hadn't guessed, it's Guilty.

This time they picked the wrong test subject!

Opening Statement

The Cuba Gooding Jr. (The Devil's Tomb) direct-to-video train keeps on a-rolling. This time out we get a pseudo cyberpunk science fiction thriller complete with dark conspiracies and evil mega corporations. Val Kilmer (Willow) comes along for the ride, continuing his own descent into Z-grade straight to DVD junk. Does Hardwired manage to rise above its pedigree and provide us with something worth watching?

Facts of the Case

Luke Gibson (Cuba Gooding Jr) has lost his pregnant wife in a horrific car accident, and his own memory is a thing of the past, literally. After suffering severe head injuries, he's awoken to find that the Hope Corporation has taken it upon themselves to use a new, untested technology to save his life. There's a malicious looking little computer chip implanted in the back of his brain, and while he's up and about again, fit as a fiddle, he has no recollection of who he was. There's also the problem of the skinny Asian guy who keeps appearing, trying to hock an advanced wristwatch, or the sultry dame in the red dress that only he can see who keeps trying to sell him whiskey. Of course there's also the issue of other people with the same chip suddenly losing their minds, literally, when the thing decides they've violated protocol and detonates their Medulla Oblongata.

With the help of some computer hackers led by Michael Ironside (Total Recall), Luke has the means to control the implant, and with his hacker buddies in control of the implant, he's taking the fight to the Hope corporation and the twisted exec in charge of 'Project 660' (Val Kilmer).

The Evidence

It seems like both Cuba Gooding Jr. and Val Kilmer are intent on flooding video store shelves with titles these days. Instead of your typical crime thrillers or military actioners, they've teamed up this time to tackle the world of dystopian sci-fi. Everyone who watches any amount of trash can tell you that the reason these "direct-to-DVD" stars pop up in so many heist flicks and Tom Clancy rip-offs is because these sorts of films can be done on amazingly low budgets. Sci-fi on the other hand, usually requires a little more leeway in the finances, a little more time behind the camera, and a little more work in post. In the past, movies like Hardwired generally made me cringe when I passed them in rental shops. I can count on one hand, how many truly exceptional sci-fi flicks actually came from the direct to video market. It was with lower than low expectations that I sat down to this one.

Amazingly, Hardwired isn't completely terrible. The screenplay isn't complete rubbish, the effects are surprisingly competent, and there's enough focus on the well choreographed action that you don't really notice the dodgy bits. Clearly the writer read his Phillip K. Dick and William Gibson primers, and people familiar with this particular sci-fi niche will witness few surprises. There are plenty of crosses and double crosses, unmotivated corporate evils, and conspiracies to go around. All the paranoia and heavy handed social commentary that goes with the genre is present. Try to think about it too hard and the plot holes will make your head explode.

Cuba is probably the film's biggest asset, as he handles even the more ludicrous scenes with conviction and professionalism. He may not be the best in the game or anything, but he certainly gives it his all rather than phoning anything in for a paycheck. When the guns, kicks, and fists come out, he sells the physicality quite well. The supporting cast isn't bad, Michael Ironsides plays against type as a scholarly old professor sort, and the two young folks who play his punk-rock cohorts, Red and Blue, are ok without being offensive or annoying.

Sony packs this release with trailers, lots and lots of trailers, which is hardly surprising considering the disc probably exists primarily for the rental market. The one extra included, a 15-minute documentary, is surprisingly decent, with a very earnest cast & crew (minus one Val Kilmer) discussing the effort they put into the film. It's pleasantly un-commercial, informative, and did a solid job in getting me behind the film.

The disc's technical merits are sound as well. The 5.1 audio is suitably punchy and well separated, and the visuals (which look as though they were film in HD digital) look sharp and free of blemishes or authoring gaffes. It's a nice job from Sony on what could easily be considered a throwaway project.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Every frame of Hardwired is a testament to its low budget (or rather, Canadian) origins. I'm not exaggerating when I say the look and feel of the film is about on par with late-'90s TV more so than feature film. I kept having flashbacks of Dark Angel while watching, which, I guess could be good or bad depending on how you felt about that particular series. That said, the effects work well enough in serving the story without becoming distracting, even if they're never ever convincing.

It must also be said that Val Kilmer is bloody awful in this film, from his glib remarks to his extremely bizarre look. His oversized spectacles, complete with rope chain and scarecrow haircut makes me wonder what the hell people were thinking. I mean, I don't know if Val's eccentricities were responsible, or if the creative minds actually felt that he should look like an unemployed stock broker with a coke problem and water retention. It's no wonder they photoshopped a picture of him from what looks like The Saint onto the DVD cover.

Hardwired also leaves the door wide open for a sequel, complete with a subtle big baddie reveal in the final scene that has a part of me yearning for a or something. Come on Cuba, make it happen!

Closing Statement

When all is said and done, fans of dystopian sci-fi don't really have a whole lot to choose from these days. I'd probably grab Hardwired before watching Johnny Mnemonic again. If that ain't offhanded praise, I don't know what is.

The Verdict

Not guilty! I have a soft spot for dystopia. Bring on Hardwired 2: Electric Boogaloo.

The perfect antidote to The Fast and the Furious.

Opening Statement

"Will you forgive her as you yourself have been forgiven...you have had a mistress; I forgave you. My sister has a lover; you drive her from the house. Why can you not be honest for once in your life? Why can't you say what Helen has done, I have done!"

Facts of the Case

Margaret (Emma Thompson, Nanny McPhee) and Helen Schlegel (Helena Bonham Carter, Big Fish) are moderately well-to-do sisters living in early 20th century England. Once upon a time, Helen was engaged to be married to a young man named Paul Wilcox (Joseph Bennett, Swing Kids), but the relationship ended badly. Nevertheless, the Schlegels continue to encounter the wealthy Wilcox family over the years, and Margaret finds herself growing close to Ruth Wilcox (Vanessa Redgrave, Venus), the aging family matriarch. When Ruth passes away, she scribbles a note on a piece of paper indicating that she wants Margaret to have Howards End, the lovely property that has been in Ruth's family for ages. Patriarch Henry Wilcox (Anthony Hopkins, The Silence of the Lambs) and his children determine that the note is not legally binding and was written when Ruth was of unsound mind, so they toss it in the fire.

Margaret knows nothing of this, and she continues to run into various members of the Wilcox family (particularly Henry) from time to time. One day, Henry awkwardly presents Margaret with something resembling a marriage proposal. Margaret is immensely surprised, but she agrees. However, Helen is very angry when she hears the news. You see, Helen and Margaret are friends with a man named Leonard Bast (Samuel West, Jane Eyre), who was fired from his job due to a bad piece of advice given to him by Henry via Helen and Margaret. Helen asks Henry if he would be willing to help poor Leonard find another job, but Henry says no: "The poor are the poor and one's sorry for them -- but there it is." As time proceeds, the lives of Henry, Margaret, Helen, Leonard, and others connect and conflict in surprising and emotionally challenging ways.

The Evidence

The films of Merchant-Ivory are often unfairly stereotyped as being reserved, mannered, dry experiences. That isn't really true. Sure, the famous producer-director team isn't exactly known for presenting Michael Bay-style blood and thunder, but underneath the cool, crisp surface of their films is generally a deep well of emotion held in check not by directorial prudence but by the restrictions of the setting and era in which the characters are living. That's most assuredly the case in Howards End, based on the much-acclaimed novel by E.M. Forster. There is such a tremendous depth of feeling in this film, made all the more potent by the fact that it is usually bottled. As such, the moments of explicit emotion have a raw power that makes everyone else in the film immensely uncomfortable. Why are they actually saying the things that they feel, and why are they saying them at such a horrific volume?

The cinematic version of Howards End dispenses with the notion that the characters in the book are nothing more than symbolic elements of social issues Forster wanted to address. Some have analyzed the book and claimed that its only weakness is that the characters aren't well-developed as real human beings because the primary purpose is to represent something else. That certainly isn't the case in the film, which offers very nuanced and thoroughly convincing character portraits from top to bottom. The class struggle between the wealthy and the poor is still very much an essential part of the story, but that battle springs naturally out of the characters.

At the most passionate end of the spectrum is Helen, who would undoubtedly be waving signs and participating in marches if she were living in the modern era. She and Margaret were always fairly progressive individuals, but after Helen witnesses Leonard's personal downfall she becomes intensely proactive. There is no question in her mind as to who is responsible. Who are the rich to go around giving advice to the poor that may or may not be sound? If a rich person does something that causes a poor person problems, the rich person should be responsible because he is rich. At the opposite end of that same spectrum is Henry's son Charles (James Wilby, Maurice), an insufferably snobbish and mean-spirited chap with no regard for anyone of low standing. Consider the look of outrage and disgust on Charles's face when he sees Leonard's ungainly wife Jackie (Nicola Duffett, Spider) eating cake and drinking wine at a wedding reception. As far as he is concerned, the poor are inferior human beings in every regard.

Meanwhile, Henry and Margaret find themselves torn on different sides of the middle. The performances of Hopkins and Thompson are undoubtedly the best in the film, and their complex portrayals are richly involving. Thompson deservedly won an Academy Award for her turn as Margaret, whose liberal leanings must be tempered with her regard for her husband. "I have to be on his side now," Margaret sheepishly informs her bitter sister. Thompson has given her share of great performances, but this is certainly one of her best. Watching her move from unashamedly joyous to pleasantly compromised to defeated is a rather devastating journey, as Thompson sells it with an understated reality that's immensely effective. Meanwhile, Hopkins plays a man who is not fundamentally kind or understanding, but who wants to be for the sake of his wife. He is masterful in the scene in which his wife confronts him with a secret from his past, initially storming off in a childish rage and then attempting to admit that, yes, he actually is a flawed human being. This is not a man who is used to admitting such things; but his love for his wife is so considerable that he is willing to at least try reconnecting with his feelings (even if his business-like tendencies will win out more often than not).

The Blu-ray transfer is decent, but falls short of being really exceptional. I was looking forward to witnessing this gorgeous period film in all of its 1080p glory, but truthfully it's a bit weak as far as transfer go for a film made as recently as the 1990s. There are occasional scratches and flecks, but most problematic is the grain. Now, bear in mind that I have absolutely no problem with natural grain if that means that things like DNR are being left out of the process. Indeed, Howards End does look natural, but the grain becomes so excessive at times that it becomes distracting. Audio is stellar, if rather low-key and understated most of the time. You may want to put the volume at a somewhat low level as the film starts, as Richard Robbins kicks off the film with a very loud blast of the music that the soundtrack never really approaches again. Odd, to say the least.

The vast majority of the supplements are ported over from the previous DVD release. The most substantial feature is probably the 42-minute documentary "Building Howards End," which offers interviews with the primary members of the cast and crew (sans Emma Thompson, sadly) and is a generally revealing and engaging piece. Also substantial is "The Wandering Company," a 49-minute piece on the history of Merchant-Ivory. However, it was produced in 1984, so it obviously only covers the early years. "The Designs of Howards End" (10 minutes) is a decent little piece on the production design, and you also get a theatrical trailer and a 4-minute EPK-style piece from the time of the film's release. The only new item is a 12-minute interview with James Ivory, who offers his memories of the late Ishmael Merchant.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

This isn't a complaint about the film, but I would challenge the packaging's claim that this is the "pinnacle" of Merchant-Ivory films. It's excellent (and it's certainly the most acclaimed in terms of awards), but I would contend that The Remains of the Day is the definitive high point of Merchant and Ivory (and perhaps even Hopkins and Thompson).

Closing Statement

Howards End is an involving and rewarding literary adaptation that deserves to be in your collection. While the Blu-ray release doesn't offer tremendous incentive to upgrade, I recommend it nonetheless.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

Still love me?

The Case

I Love You, Beth Cooper isn't a bad film, it's just an incredibly unremarkable one. The movie was given a hefty critical bashing on release back in July (on Rotten Tomatoes it ranks as the summer's third worst reviewed film), and the box-office was weak on account of opening alongside Bruno and a week before Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. My expectations were exponentially low when I slotted the DVD into my player, and it's maybe due to this that I didn't find the movie to be the stinker everyone else seemed to. I'm not recommending I Love You, Beth Cooper, but it deserves a little more credit than it got. It's neither overly funny or charming, but it is inoffensively passable. Based on the media slander it had to take, it's probably fair that I stand up and denounce the film as mediocre rather than a downright cinematic plague.

Denis Cooverman (Paul Rust, Inglourious Basterds) is a nerd if ever you've seen one, destined for greatness after High School but part of a two man clique and prone to getting beat up for now. At graduation and as acting Valedictorian, Denis is required to give a speech, a chance he uses to voice his opinions on several people in the audience with his focus on one in particular. He proclaims his love for cheerleader hottie Beth Cooper (Hayden Panettiere, Heroes), intriguing her and angering her psychotic boyfriend in the process. Later that night Beth Cooper and her partners in crime turn up at Denis's house to show him and best buddy Rich (Jack Carpenter, The Journal) the night of their lives, all the while being pursued by her coked up beau who along with a few others would like nothing more than Denis's head on a platter.

Looking back on the great teen films, what titles come to mind? The Breakfast Club? American Pie? Maybe even Superbad? Well I Love You, Beth Cooper has nothing on any of those films and certainly is far removed from the genre's top dogs, but in equal measure isn't deserving of being mentioned alongside the very worst. The movie is a forgettable trifle of a picture, fluffy, cheery and not particularly satisfying, but all the same, hardly repugnant or disgusting. Director Chris Columbus is after all the man who wrote Gremlins and The Goonies, so he clearly has some idea about how to construct watchable comedy. I Love You, Beth Cooper isn't a great film, hell it's not even a particularly good film, but for the heck of fairness...see it before you shame it as a slimy genre lowlight.

The performances are ample but to say that these characters are unoriginal would be generous. The film attempts in its last few moments to throw a little extra meat on the title character's bones but for the most part she's your usual larger than life hot girl, buying booze, driving crazily, and actually treating her nerdy admirer in a rather condescending fashion. Panattiere looks cute throughout and certainly doesn't lack energy, but she's reigned in due to the character's hopelessly familiar personality, and her chemistry with Rust is pretty much non-existent. Speaking of the man, he is much the same; Rust gets to ply his trade to the gawky, gangly, and infatuated geek stereotype, trying hard but ultimately failing to overcome the sense of déjà vu stirred by his workmanlike character conception. It's not a performance totally lacking in warmth or without a little redemptive charm here and there, but hardly one for the teen movie yearbook either. The support is a little more colorful, especially Jack Carpenter as Denis's possibly gay best friend. Unlike the relationship between Hayden Panettiere and Paul Rust, the nerdy onscreen relationship between Denis and Rich feels genuine, the two conveying a mutual understanding and acceptance of each other rather nicely. For me these two are the most believable onscreen pairing in the film and unlike many critics I quite appreciated the little subplot in which Denis tries to get Rich to be open about his sexuality. As Beth's two slightly less gorgeous gal pals, Lauren London (90210) and Lauren Storm (The Game Plan) are adequate, used primarily for ditzy comedy and snarky one liners.

There are maybe two or three really good laughs during I Love You, Beth Cooper and a handful of other smile inducing or titter worthy moments but for the most part, it's not that funny a film. The style of humor also seems oddly unbalanced, one moment it's broad faced cow dung jokes, the next we're served slightly less PG-13 rated barbs concerning cocaine and cell phones doubling as vibrators. The average teenager should have absolutely no trouble with this (after all I just name checked Superbad as a favorite of the genre), but parents thinking about younger kids might want to be careful. In this day and age it's actually quite hard to decide what constitutes a family friendly PG-13 and what deserves the 13+ rating; Beth Cooper is probably worthy of the latter. Two cameos that occur during the film were pretty cool; Samm Levine is enjoyable for a few moments as a creepy Convenience Store Clerk whilst Alan Ruck raises a referential smile as Denis's Dad. Those with any sort of stock in the teen comedy genre will recognize Ruck as the legendary Cameron from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, one of the best examples this film type has to offer.

It's hard to find much emotional ground with which to latch onto the characters, and for all its efforts, the movie does seem light on heart. In many ways it's this and not the suspect laugh quota that makes I Love You, Beth Cooper no better than average, for a movie of this sort to succeed it needs some sort of emotional core or grounding in reality. Whilst the firecracker antics that make up the running are perfectly okay for fantasy, it's hard to see your average teen engaging to heavily with them, I'm sure everyone had some crazy nights in their youth, but this is the kind of stuff that occurs only in Hollywood. The movie tries to bludgeon home some extra character development at the end to try and make the protagonists on show a little easier to relate with (Beth especially) but I didn't buy the move, it reeks of laziness and a false sense of importance.

I Love You, Beth Cooper is a bright and breezy looking movie, the visual composition suiting its bubblegum tone pretty snuggly. Fox provided a screener disc for review so it's unlikely the audio and video here represents the standard that will appear on the retail DVD, so those two factors have been removed from the final verdict. However a selection of bonus features was present, the best of which is a sit down with the film's writer Larry Doyle. Doyle adapted the script from his own book and it's interesting to hear about the process, even if the final result was hardly breathtaking. Some deleted scenes (pointless) and an alternate ending (fairly different) are also on the disc, along with a few other standard interviews with cast members and a truly ludicrous improvised song feature entitled Peanut Butter Toast performed by Rust. Certainly for fans of the movie this isn't actually a bad release, if the finalized technical specs can match then this is decent enough DVD for such an unmemorable comedy.

The Verdict

I Love You, Beth Cooper isn't terrible but is inherently so-so and unadventurous. Fans of those involved or of the genre as a whole might want to give it a rental, everyone else might be better served going out and spending their cash on the better teen movies mentioned throughout this review. So whilst I don't hate you, Beth Cooper, it won't be long before I forget you.

The Ultimate Romantic Comedy

Opening Statement

"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often, it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there -- fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge -- they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaking suspicion...love actually is all around."

Facts of the Case

The lives of an aging rock star (Bill Nighy, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End), two sex scene stand-ins (Martin Freeman, The Office and Joanna Page, Gavin and Stacy), a horny young man (Kris Marshall, Easy Virtue), a pair of newlyweds (Kiera Knightley, Pride and Prejudice and Chiwetel Ejiofor, Serenity), a writer (Colin Firth, Nanny McPhee), a design agency director (Alan Rickman, Die Hard), the director's wife (Emma Thompson, The Remains of the Day), the British Prime Minister (Hugh Grant, About a Boy), the President of the United States (Billy Bob Thornton, The Man Who Wasn't There), a servant girl (Martine McCutcheon, EastEnders), a grieving widower (Liam Neeson, Michael Collins), a young boy (Thomas Sangster, The Last Legion), an employee of the graphic design company (Laura Linney, The Exorcism of Emily Rose), and a jeweler (Rowan Atkinson, Rat Race) connect in a variety of complex and romantically charged ways.

The Evidence

Love Actually may not be "The Ultimate Romantic Comedy," but one certainly has to give it points for trying. This star-studded, densely-plotted Richard Curtis film has been attacked for assaulting the viewer with an overdose of romantic fulfillment and "Christmas spirit." To be sure, it's manipulative and saccharine as all get-out, but you know what? It works, because one gets the sense that Curtis (who also wrote the screenplay) is putting a lot of genuine feeling into this thing. For every moment that makes you roll your eyes, there is another right behind that sneaks up on you and manages to get under your skin. The first time I saw the film was back when it was released in theatres. At the time, as the film was steamrolling toward its big conclusion, I was fully aware that my strings were being pulled, but when one particular moment arrived I found a little tear rolling down my cheek despite the logical part of my mind ordering me to scowl. I was curious about how well it would hold up this time, and I'll be darned if that same moment didn't get me again. So many romantic films/holiday movies blatantly attempt to make us laugh and cry, but Love Actually deserves credit for actually succeeding in this regard.

The film is like a greatest hits collection of melodramatic clichés, but they're presented in such a sincere and heartfelt manner that we're reminded of why such clichés are employed so frequently: when they work, they really work. There are dozens of scenes in this film that might have been the emotional high point of other movies. We've got the Big Wedding Scene, the Big Musical Number, the Big Funeral Scene, the Big Proposal Scene, and on and on and on. This might have been unbearable if the film were nothing more than a bucket of sugar, but Curtis laces this sweet dish with enough spicy humor to keep things fresh and involving throughout.

In that department, there is perhaps no one funnier in the film than the great Bill Nighy as the aging pop star. Forced by his agent to turn his biggest hit into an abysmal Christmas song, Nighy turns carefree on the interview circuit, cheerfully admitting to the press that he regards his song as a complete piece of crap. I particularly love his bit of advice to the young viewers of a youth-oriented television program: "Kids, please don't buy drugs...become a pop star, and you'll get them for free!" There's also a dryly amusing ongoing gag involving the sex scene stand-ins played by Martin Freeman and Joanna Page. The gag is simple (two actors disrobe and simulate sex on camera, but he is still quite nervous about asking her out for a cup of coffee), and they pull it off with subtle humor and tenderness. Hugh Grant is at the peak of his charming powers as the PM, and gets to deliver a lot of entertaining lines while also generating some genuine feeling during the romantic moments he shares with his employee.

Though there are certain storylines that stand out as being particularly exceptional (Nighy's segment, Alan Rickman teetering between his faithfulness to his wife and the lustful feelings he has for his co-worker, everything with Grant and McCutcheon), the remarkable thing is that not a single story falls flat or outright fails. Sure, a couple might be slightly less involving than I would have liked (the Laura Linney story, for instance), but there isn't anything that sticks out like a sore thumb as being a waste of time. The movie may run 135 minutes, but the time flies by due to the sheer volume of intriguing stories being told. The performances are strong throughout, and most major cast members are given at least one moment in which they really get to shine. Consider the expression on Knightley's face when she watches the video of her wedding, or Firth's reaction when he watches his maid jump in the lake, or young Thomas Sangster's desperate attempt to capture the affection a young girl with his passionate drumming. These are all lovely little moments that say more than words could, and it's during such moments that Love Actually really excels.

The film benefits from a rather nice Blu-ray transfer, offering pleasing depth and detail. The film has a warm and colorful visual palette that never becomes too obnoxiously Christmas-y, if you know what I mean. Some of these holiday films tend to become almost oppressively colorful and seasonal, but this one generates visual warmth without ever hitting overkill. It's like a nice cup of hot chocolate rather than a stocking full of candy. Anyway, blacks are nice and deep throughout, and the level of detail is stellar. There's a very, very faint measure of natural grain present, but it's not distracting at all. The audio is fine, though there are a couple of moments when the soundtrack becomes a bit too boisterous for its own good. I did have to adjust the audio once or twice, but not dramatically. Everything is well-distributed and clean, though this isn't the sort of film that will give your speakers a real workout.

The extras are all ported over from the DVD version of the film. The only piece of real substance is a commentary with Curtis, Grant, Nighy and Sangster, and it's a very charming and amusing listen. Elsewhere, you get 37 minutes (!) of deleted scenes, a 10-minute making-of featurette, a brief look a the music in the film, and two music videos featuring Kelly Clarkson and Bill Nighy.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

As I mentioned before, there certainly are moments that will make you roll your eyes. If the film has a major fault, it's that we can't be expected to be fully emotionally invested in every storyline, so the ones we don't connect with may seem mawkish rather than moving when they reach their climax.

Closing Statement

Call it sentimental hogwash if you like, but Love Actually is a lovely holiday film. The Blu-ray release may not have enough to warrant an upgrade for those who have the DVD, but it certainly offers a respectable transfer is worth considering for those who haven't picked up the film.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

The master of suspense presents a 2000-mile chase across America!

Opening Statement

"Now you listen to me, I'm an advertising man, not a red herring. I've got a job, a secretary, a mother, two ex-wives and several bartenders that depend upon me, and I don't intend to disappoint them all by getting myself 'slightly' killed."

Facts of the Case

Roger Thornhill (Cary Grant, Charade) is an ordinary businessman just going about his usual day. While he's in a restaurant enjoying a meal, some mysterious men order him at gunpoint to get into their car. They take him to the home of a man named Lester Townsend (James Mason, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea), a wealthy yet sinister figure who insists that Thornhill is really named George Kaplan. Townsend insists that "Kaplan" cooperate. Not knowing anything about what is going on or why Townsend thinks such things, Thornhill refuses. Townsend orders his goons to have Roger killed, but Roger manages to make an escape. Alas, his situation only gets worse from there. Roger was making a desperate getaway while drugged, but he can't prove that anyone actually kidnapped him, so the police simply accuse him of drunk driving.

Roger also discovers that his kidnapper was not who he claimed to be. The real Lester Townsend is a United Nations representative who has nothing at all to do with the kidnapper. Roger visits the real Townsend in the hopes of getting some information about what's going on, but Townsend is murdered during their visit. Sure enough, nobody other than Roger saw the actual killer, so Roger is accused of murder. Forced to clear his name, Roger makes a run for it and attempts to find answers to his questions: Who is George Kaplan? What did not-Lester-Townsend want with him? And why is a beautiful woman named Eve (Eva Marie Saint, Superman Returns) being so trustful of him despite the fact that she knows he is accused of murder?

The Evidence

Pretty much any list of "great Hitchcock films" is going to include North by Northwest, but one doesn't usually find it at the top of such lists. People tend to veer towards Psycho, Vertigo, Rear Window, The Birds, and Notorious when it comes to selecting a single masterpiece among masterpieces. However, I have a friend who once told me that he felt North by Northwest was not only Hitchcock's greatest film, but one of the greatest films of all time by any director. When I asked him why, he answered without hesitation: "It has absolutely everything an audience could want in a mainstream movie. It has comedy, it has action, it has romance, it has suspense, it has mystery, it has colorful locations, it has a great score, it has terrific cinematography, it has great dialogue, it has great acting, and absolutely everything works." He is correct. While I may not be quite so confident in declaring the movie Hitch's unquestionable best (the man made so many brilliant films), I can certainly say that it does the best job of showing off the director's skills as an entertainer. North by Northwest is indeed a movie that has everything.

Like many of Hitchcock's films, North by Northwest is primarily remembered today for its big set pieces, most notably the tremendously intense sequence in which Cary Grant attempts to escape the deadly crop duster and the thrilling climax at Mount Rushmore. To be sure, these are great moments, deserving of their iconic status in cinematic history. But what some viewers might have forgotten is just what a rich piece of entertainment this film is from start to finish. There isn't a single moment that bores or fails to be engaging. Hitchcock juggles a lot of elements in the film, and a lesser director surely might have dropped the ball or pushed too hard in one particular direction. By some miracle, North by Northwest is more or less pitch-perfect, being light on its feet when it needs to be and dramatically gripping during other moments.

Cary Grant is a huge key to the film's success, as there was perhaps no other actor of the era who could have made the role work so well (Jimmy Stewart lobbied for the role, but was turned down). Despite the fact that his age was starting to show, Grant was still the ultimate movie star in 1959. When we're first introduced to Roger Thornhill, we recognize the character as being the usual sort of man that Cary Grant plays: witty, charming, intelligent, and friendly. His dialogue is the sort of playfully hilarious material that Grant mastered over the years. However, Thornhill is quickly thrown into a rather desperate situation, and Grant excels at conveying a sense of genuine fear and tension during these moments. Though he never loses his silver tongue ("Not that I mind a slight case of abduction now and then, but I have tickets for the theatre this evening, to a show I was looking forward to, and I get, well, kind of unreasonable about things like that"), there's clearly an element of vulnerability in Grant's character. He is bold and charming in spite of his fears, not because he doesn't have them.

It's particularly impressive to note just how quickly many of the scenes in North by Northwest can slip between comedy and drama with ease. Consider the moment in which Grant desperately attempts to convince the police officers that he has been abducted and drugged by evil men. The humor generated by the fact that Grant's story sounds very much like the typical ravings of a drunken bum plays devilishly against the fact that Thornhill is indeed a man stuck in a very troubling situation. Likewise, the confrontational scenes between Grant and James Mason (marvelously cool and sinister) crackle with that intoxicating blend of wit and danger. Hitchcock loved the "Innocent Man Wrongly Accused" plot element, but never was it as playfully entertaining as it is in North by Northwest. Even Thornhill's own mother (a very amusing Jessie Royce Landis) clucks disapprovingly when she hears Roger's ludicrous story.

Though North by Northwest may seem strikingly different than much of Hitchcock's work, many of the director's trademark elements are still in place. In addition to the Innocent Man Wrongly Accused protagonist attempting to convince everyone around him of the truth (not to mention the fact that he is yet another one of Hitchcock's everyman detectives), we have the icy yet immensely alluring blonde female lead (Eva Marie Saint, quite good if not a match for Kim Novak), a vivid Bernard Herrmann score that not only comments on the action but adds its own subtext, and a perilous climax in which at least one character will fall to their death. Oh, and let's not forget the director's trademark cameo.

This transfer is nothing short of superb, particularly when you consider the film is now 50 years old. The image is almost entirely free scratches, flecks, and grit, with only a mildly distracting blemish in the lower left corner during the main title sequence actually being noticeable. There is very little grain, though there is also no evidence of noise reduction or other troubling techniques. The folks at Warner Bros. have simply done a pristine job of cleaning this thing up. Blacks are rich and deep, and the darker scenes in the film (though there are only a few of them) benefit from impressive shading. The level of detail is very strong, with the exception of occasional shots that are quite soft (though this is entirely an artistic choice made by Hitchcock and cinematographer Robert Burks). The audio does demonstrate its age just a little bit more than the video, but it's still an exceptionally strong track. The Herrmann score is crisp and dynamic, relatively free of distortions. Dialogue is also clean and clear, while the sound design is mostly low-key with the exception of a few dynamic sequences (the crop-duster scene is very impressive).

The supplements are a mix of new material and older stuff that was included on the DVD release. The older material includes a slightly dry commentary track with Ernest Lehman and a 40-minute making-of documentary entitled "Destination Hitchcock: The Making of North by Northwest." Other older materials include trailers and TV spots, a stills gallery, and a music-only audio track. Now, on to the new inclusions. First up are two original documentaries. The first is the 57-minute "The Master Touch: Hitchcock's Signature Style," an appreciation of the director's techniques and cinematic accomplishments featuring a variety of film historians and modern filmmakers. It's a bit on the fluffy side at times, but mostly a rather compelling watch. Also worthwhile is the 25-minute "North by Northwest: One for the Ages," in which another batch of noted names speak about the film's virtues. Also included is the meaty 87-minute documentary "Cary Grant: A Class Apart," which was produced for PBS in 2004. I've actually seen a handful of documentaries on Mr. Grant before, and this was easily the most substantial and informative I've seen thus far. Finally, the Blu-ray disc is given the "collectible book" packaging that Warner Bros. gives to some of their more high-profile releases, and this includes some glossy pages with info on the film, Hitchcock and the cast. Some have complained about this packaging because it stands out and doesn't match their other Blu-ray discs, but it does look attractive (particularly when you have several of these book packages to put together on the shelf).

The Rebuttal Witnesses

It's a small problem, but there are a couple of casting issues that made me raise my eyebrows. First of all, Landis was actually a year younger than Grant when the film was made, so the idea that she could be his mother was nothing short of absurd. Additionally, I couldn't help but laugh out loud when the 35-year-old Eva Marie Saint tells Grant that she is 26. She may be attractive, but there's no way she can pass for a day under 30.

Closing Statement

North by Northwest is a great film that belongs in any movie lover's collection. This Blu-ray release is superb, giving the film an excellent transfer and some engaging new supplements. It's worth an upgrade by all means.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

The road to justice is twisted.

Opening Statement

Shawn Ryan's groundbreaking cop drama arrives in its entirety, seven seasons worth of betrayals, blackmail, cover-ups, drug busts, drive-bys, cat strangulations, shameless political maneuvers, improvised foot amputations and so, so much more.

Facts of the Case

The seven seasons of The Shield tell one long story, so I am reluctant to get into details -- with the number of neck-snapping plot twists that populate the series run even the smallest spoiler would be catastrophic.

Here's the general scenario: in the fictional L.A. district of Farmington, gang violence is a perpetual nightmare, with murders happening on a daily basis (or at least weekly). Charged with mediating between the factions and promoting a tenuous stability is Detective Vic Mackey (Michael Chiklis, The Fantastic Four) and his Strike Team, an effective cop unit that employs shifty methods. District captain David Aceveda (Benito Martinez) has made it his professional mission to nail Mackey and his crew -- but they have a knack for staying one step in front.

The Evidence

Next to The Wire, this series is the finest cop show ever created. Shawn Ryan's masterful examination of detectives -- dirty and otherwise -- plunged into a hellish world of constant crime, temptation and hubris is required viewing for anyone with even a passing interest in the cop genre.

The Shield is envelope-pushing in its storytelling, but it never feels like it's trying too hard. The plots are tightly mapped out and painstakingly interwoven so that the first episode -- one of the more jarring pilots in recent memory -- has its shockwaves felt all the way to the series finale. With some serialized shows (Lost and Battlestar Galactica) often feeling like the overall arc is generated as the seasons roll on, there's always a sense of larger, organic purpose with The Shield. By series' end everything is closed up and loose ends are tied, making for a complete, self-contained epic.

Wherever Ryan and the writers take the characters, there are themes that hold true through all seven seasons. The big one is this: can the sin of a corrupt unit be overlooked if their work is effective. Mackey's Strike Team is effective and are often needed to tackle the big crimes, usually by the very people who are first to indict their methods. And those are some tough methods, tactics that consistently beg the question: do the ends justify the means?

This question in itself makes for compelling television, but the show keeps pushing, drilling deeper into the complex personalities and relationships of the Strike Team. Mackey has always been about himself, but the narrative eventually reveals what is truly precious to him, Ronnie went from a one-dimensional supporting character to a major cog in the machine, Lem is the conscience of the group and Shane (played in legendary fashion by Walton Goggins, whose Emmy snub for this work in the last season is a complete disgrace) evolves into the one of the all-time most intriguing characters on television. Rounding out the primary cast are top-shelf performers like CCH Pounder as a straight-laced, politically naïve detective; Jay Karnes as Dutch, her hapless, but intelligent counterpart; Benito Martinez's power-hungry Aceveda; and a series of dynamo guest stars including Glenn Close, Anthony Anderson (who does some of the best stuff I have ever seen on the small screen -- not joking) and Forest Whitaker. All of these power-hitters are plugged in seamlessly to serpentine storylines that combine some seriously dope cop action with gut-punches of drama.

I know all this sounds like hyperbole, but believe me it isn't. The Shield is that good. While it may not have ever hit the ratings of CSI or Law and Order or any number of cops shows that have popped up on the main broadcast networks, The Shield, to the audience that has stuck with it from the beginning, stands tall as one the few gold standards of the genre.

So you know all this and you already own the individual season sets and you ask: "Gee whiz, times are tight but this complete series release seems pretty sweet -- should I pony up the cash to score it?" Good question. Let's start with the positives (and there aren't any negatives, just the age-old double-dip question). The packaging is absolutely beautiful, one of the slickest sets I've ever reviewed, trumping the previous champ, the complete Seinfeld series set. It's laid out in book-form, with the DVDs tucked inside the pages. Each page features colorful, creative graphics and the episode listing. Shawn Ryan also wrote an introduction to the anthology. The other exclusive to the release is the bonus disc, featuring two new documentaries "Rampart" and "The Barn." The first is the recounting of the Rampart scandal, the corrupt cop misadventure in 1999 that influenced Shawn Ryan's creation of The Shield. The second is an odd post-mortem, interviewing the show's set guys and featuring a tour of the "The Barn" set as it goes bye-bye, making room for Grey's Anatomy. These are both decent featurettes, but not quite enough to justify a double-dip if never-before-seen bonus materials are all you're after.

The packaging, bonus disc and space-saving all-in-one convenience are all that the complete series has that the other sets don't. You still get solid anamorphic widescreen and 5.1 surround A/V treatments, 60+ hours of legitimately awesome making-of featurettes, commentaries on selected episodes and deleted scenes. These were amazing sets to begin with, great-looking, great-sounding and loaded with thoughtful bonuses and they're still amazing-just tied together in a nice and neat package.

Closing Statement

There is no more praise I can heap on The Shield, a masterwork of American televised drama. This complete set is a thing of beauty, but there's not enough content to demand further investment from fans who already own all the season releases. If you haven't gotten into the show, here's the perfect way to punch your ticket.

The Verdict

Not Guilty.

New York City is about to be taken for a ride!

Opening Statement

Denzel Washington (Inside Man) re-teams with Director Tony Scott (Man on Fire) for this update of the gritty 1970's thriller of the same name. John Travolta (Pulp Fiction) tags along for the ride, with a strong supporting cast of character actors. Is this remake worth the fare, or is this one train you should miss?

Facts of the Case

An ordinary day for Metro Transit Authority dispatcher Walter Garber (Denzel Washington) turns chaotic, when a group of armed men led by the enigmatic Ryder (John Travolta) take it upon themselves to seize a New York City subway car and its 18 passengers. His demands are simple: $10 Million dollars in cash in one hour, or a hostage dies every minute.

Garber is pulled into the events even further, when Ryder chooses him as his liaison and authorities scramble to find a solution. Garber does what he can to control the situation, but time is running out and Ryder isn't interested in negotiation.

The Evidence

In today's remake-fueled Hollywood environs, one could be pardoned if they rolled their eyes and instantly dismissed the news that a gritty '70s thriller (and Tarantino favorite) was getting a 21st century spit-shine. I have fond memories of the Walter Matthau-led original, and this particular version was barely registering on my moviedar. It turns out that Tony Scott's re-imaging falls into the same camp as James Mangold's take on 3:10 To Yuma -- it's not only a watchable attempt, but a damn good one that stands toe-to-toe with its predecessor!

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 finds its biggest strength in the cast. Denzel Washington plays the flawed everyman to perfection, and I must say I enjoy his performances more and more these days. He plays Garber as conflicted, and we can easily see the strain the day's events are taking on him. He stammers and hesitates, hanging on by the skin of his teeth. He's a far cry from the gruff and assured character Matthau portrayed in the original. John Travolta, meanwhile, is in full on villain mode. This is a far cry from recent outings. This is the Travolta that got notices in films like Broken Arrow and Face/Off. He rips through scenery like a circular saw, drops F-bombs with aplomb, and goes gleefully over the top without ever hitting that "cheese" barrier. His Ryder is a man of action and unpredictable violence. Travolta has taken his lumps in recent years, but he redeems himself here with one hell of a great bad guy.

The supporting cast is led most notably by John Tuturro (Transformers), who plays it pretty cool as a NYPD hostage negotiator clearly outclassed by Ryder -- and, in a rare breath of fresh air for this sort of picture, he actually acknowledges it. James Gandolfini (The Sopranos) also dials things down, in his portrayal of a New York City mayor who's got just the right mix of nice guy and sleazeball. Both are solid characters, played well by solid character actors.

The other big strength is the screenplay. Pelham 1 2 3 hits the ground running and never lets up or distracts with needless subplots and side roads. While logic does take a backseat, it's never tossed completely out of the window, and Scott's direction is such that we really feel as though we're chucked headlong into the situation. It doesn't hurt that the actors all do a great job of selling us on their characters. There's nothing in these two hours that ever takes us out of the movie, no hard right character turns or crappy line deliveries that betray the film. It's a lean movie that sticks well to the task at hand.

In this era that's brought us a PG-13 rated Die Hard sequel, it's worth noting that The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 wears its R-rating like a badge of honor. The action is visceral, with plenty of juicy bullet hits and pottymouths galore. It may not mean a lot to most, but it's nice to see an action film in the mold of the best stuff from the '80s and '90s, with some A-list talent and no concern for pulling teen audiences into a theatre.

Sony has done an admirable job with the DVD treatment. The picture is great, with nary a flaw to be found. The colors are vibrant, and the clarity is as good as it gets on DVD. Tony Scott's less than reserved camera trickery translates fine to home video. The 5.1 audio is equally great, with some thundering surround action, nice gunfire, and some good separation for Harry Gregson-William's primarily rock driven score.

The extras on the disc are pretty substantial. Tony Scott provides his own commentary, which (much like those of his older brother) makes for some interesting listening. Writer Brian Helgeland (Payback) gets his own track, which doesn't have quite the same appeal. Also included are a few featurettes, all of which run pretty brief and feel a little fluffy.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

As much as I enjoyed the film, The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 feels like something from a bygone era of Hollywood. If someone had told me this flick had come out in 1996, I'd have believed them. It's of the same pedigree as films like The Rock and Bad Boys, though it's better executed than either of those Michael Bay outings. It's definitely not a new take on the action genre, and for those who dislike the glossier action films of the mid to late-'90s, there's nothing here that's going to change your mind. So while Helgeland's script is well executed, and Scott's direction is solid, the movie really doesn't have an original bone in its body. It was a non-issue for me, as I've been pining for this sort of big budget, no frills, hard R action outing since the first half of this decade. Other action fans will feel the same, but everyone else will be ambivalent.

Closing Statement

There's nothing in The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3 that we haven't seen before, and yet everything is so well executed that it's hard to fault the film for it. It's a tight action-thriller that plays perfectly to its strengths. Action junkies will be pleased, and fans of the original should be satisfied without being offended.

The Verdict

Free to go!

There are angels on the streets of Berlin.

Opening Statement

"When the child was a child, it was the time of these questions. Why am I me, and why not you? Why am I here and why not there? When did time begin, and where does space end? Isn't life under the sun just a dream? Isn't what I see, hear, and smell just the mirage of a world before the world? Does evil actually exist, and are there people who are really evil? How can it be that I, who am I, wasn't before I was, and that sometime I, the one I am, no longer will be the one I am?"

Facts of the Case

Damiel (Bruno Ganz, Downfall) and Cassiel (Otto Sander, The Harmonists) are two angels who have been given the responsibility of observing humanity. They go about this task in an objective yet reasonably compassionate manner, never directly interfering with the actions of human beings but occasionally providing a small nudge of hope. However, they have been at this job for a long time, and Damiel has begun to grow hungry for something more. He yearns to feel what it is to be a human being. Specifically, he yearns to be human in order to directly interact with Marion (Solveig Dommartin, Until the End of the World), a German trapeze artist with whom Damiel has grown deeply fascinated. Will the angel sacrifice his immortality for the sake of being human? If he does, will he be able to make a connection with the woman he admires?

The Evidence

If you've never seen Wings of Desire, you may think you've figured out what sort of film it is based on the plot description I have provided. You're probably wrong. Though the film does indeed contain a plot line involving a love story between an angel and a human, the movie is by no means a traditional narrative. It was remade in the 1990s as the Nicholas Cage/Meg Ryan film City of Angels, a movie which jumped on the basic plot elements provided by this film and transformed them into a firmly commercial and conventional motion picture. Wim Wenders' Wings of Desire is not about plot so much as it is about moments. The movie does not move forward as much as it moves around, establishing an evocative locale (Berlin) and shifting through the lives of the people and angels there.

It is a challenging film to define, refusing to place itself in an easy recognizable category. Indeed, critic Michael Atkinson's essay (included in the customary Criterion accompanying booklet) describes the movie as a "European art film that can be all things to all people." What you get out of a film often has a lot to do with what you bring into it, and that's most assuredly the case with a film like Wings of Desire. I invited a number of friends who had not seen the film to view it with me. We discussed it at length afterwards, and it was particularly intriguing to observe the way that each person seemed to latch on to a different element of the film and regard it as a central theme. One person was drawn to the elderly poet played by Curt Bois (Casablanca) and his philosophical musings on the world (particularly the question, "What is wrong with peace that its inspiration doesn't endure?"), while another found the movie to be a deeply positive reminder of the joys of being human that we take for granted.

Wings of Desire is blessed with an abundance of fascinating imagery, provided in a striking combination of black & white and color scenes by the great cinematographer Henri Alekan. There is not a moment in which the film is not an absorbing visual experience, whether we are examining the grand libraries in the city or the graffiti-plagued Berlin Wall (the film was shot shortly before the wall was torn down) or the nervously energetic atmosphere of a Nick Cave concert.

For me, the most consistently memorable and fascinating visual element throughout the film is the face of actor Bruno Ganz. In this role, he spends considerably more time simply observing than he does speaking, so it is crucial that his face convey his emotions in a revealing manner. The angels are portrayed as being essentially good and kind beings, and Ganz is tremendously effective during the long stretches in which he moves from person to person, listening intently to their thoughts. There is a deep compassion in his eyes, a look that shifts easily between aching sadness and warmth. He places a hand on some particularly troubled people, which sometimes goes unnoticed and sometimes impacts them in a positive manner. Contrast this solemnity with his expressions when he makes the transition from being an angel to being human. The carefully-measured subtlety of Ganz's face gives way to an unbridled, goofy joy. The man who seemed to contain the wisdom of the ages suddenly takes on a childlike sense of discovery. It's moments like these that remind us of just how powerfully uplifting cinema can be. Damiel is delighted to discover that he can feel the cold wind on his face. What joy he shows, and what happiness it brings us when we recall that we have the ability to feel the same thing.

The intense satisfaction provided by these scenes only runs as deep as it does because the film manages to convey Damiel's sense of longing so effectively. Some may feel this most intensely during the moments in which he watches Marion with romantic desire. I was most struck by the angel's beautiful monologue early in the film, in which he yearns for the minor pleasures of life: "No, I don't have to beget a child or plant a tree, but it would be rather nice to come home after a long day to feed the cat, like Phillip Marlowe, to have a fever and blackended fingers from the newspaper, to be excited not only by the mind but, at last, by a meal, by the line of a neck by an ear." It is rare that a film captures the beauty and depth of feeling attained by Wings of Desire.

The transfer is another excellent outing from Criterion, improving upon the mediocre 2003 DVD release quite a bit. The image is sharp and crisp, particularly during the black and white sequences (the color moments also look good, but a bit softer and less pristine for some reason). The film was remastered for an accompanying Blu-ray release, and as such the DVD usually looks about as exceptional as it is possible for a standard-def presentation of a 20-year-old film to look. Aside from the very minor issues present during those aforementioned full-color moments, I have no complaints. The audio is also excellent, giving the busy soundtrack a clear and immersive mix. The eclectic musical selections come through nicely, but the really impressive sequences are those in which the angels hear voices all around them.

The extras on this 2-disc set are actually just a tiny bit disappointing, due to the fact that so many of them were contained on the previous DVD release. Things kick off with a stellar commentary from Wenders and actor Peter Falk (who masterfully plays a version of himself in the film), which veers from deeply philosophical to ordinary behind-the-scenes stories. You also get the 2003 documentary "Angels Among Us" (43 minutes), an excellent making-of piece that features interviews with every significant member of the cast and crew. There are also quite a few deleted scenes. That wraps up the previously released stuff. In addition, Criterion throws in a handful of modestly interesting tidbits: an interview with Henri Alekan, an episode of a French television program spotlighting Wim Wenders, excerpts from the films Alekan la lumiere and Remembrance: Film for Curt Bois, plus trailers and a handful of notes and photos by Heidi and Toni Ludi. It's a very generous supplemental package, but an additional original commentary or documentary would have been nice considering how well Criterion usually does such things.

Closing Statement

Perhaps you're one of those skeptics who claim that I am just another critic promoting this "boring" film endlessly in order to mask the fact that I didn't really understand it. Let me assure you, that is not the case. There is no pretense or ego involved. Yes, there are lines of dialogue and moments in the film that I still can't quite wrap my head around. To understand the entirety of what Wings of Desire is saying would, I suspect, require (A) being Wim Wenders and co-writers Peter Handke and Richard Reitenger, or at least (B) watching the film dozens of times and giving it much more considerable study than I have been able to do thus far. However, the fact that you will probably not fully grasp every element of the film initially should not prevent you from approaching it. There is so much joy and beauty so easily grasped; the rewards (both on the surface and hiding within the film's many layers) are more than enough to compensate for any feelings of confusion or boredom one might encounter. I do not recommend this film because it is "important" (though it is), but because viewing it does my soul a world of good and I have hopes it will provide you with the same.

The Verdict

Not guilty

There are angels on the streets of Berlin.

Opening Statement

As a company, Criterion has earned a reputation for putting out stellar editions of classic films alongside strong releases of oddball films. They produce releases which, for the most part, are aimed at a discriminating audience of film fans who want the best presentation and the smartest extras possible. With a group this discriminating, disagreements about the direction of the label are bound to come up: Should Godard's post-Sixties work be released? Does Armageddon belong on a Criterion shelf? Should Kagemusha come out on Blu-ray before Seven Samurai? To Criterion fans these are all big questions and obvious points of disagreement. It's nice when a release comes along that is likely to be pretty universally agreed-on as a good release, and Wings of Desire fits that bill. It's got built-in appeal for art-house lovers, foreign film fans, and experimental cinema junkies. Thanks to this Blu-ray release, those who appreciate fantastic transfers, solid audio, and engaging supplements can appreciate it, too.

Facts of the Case

In the sky over Berlin, two angels, Damiel (Bruno Ganz, The Reader) and Cassiel (Otto Sander, Far Away, So Close), watch over the city's inhabitants, observing and dispensing the occasional bit of comfort. They can see, and influence, but not touch. This grates on Damiel, who longs to experience life. When he falls in love with a beautiful trapeze artist (Solveig Dommartin, Until the End of the World), he decides to give up immortality to be with her.

The Evidence

Cinema, as a medium and an art form, is well over a hundred years old at this point, but I'm continually amazed at how much potential it still has. Films both new and old continually demonstrate that there are so many ways to tell stories, convey moods, and capture characters on celluloid. Wings of Desire is a perfect example. Ostensibly it's about two angels, one of who falls in love with a trapeze artist and decides to become mortal. On another level, it's a portrait of a city, divided by lines ideological and geographic. On yet another level, it's a top-down view of humanity from a distant yet sympathetic perspective. All of these are nestled into a film which is ultimately long on atmosphere and short on traditional plot, and yet characters are drawn, feelings are conveyed, and a sense of humanity's possibilities is sketched out.

Much of the film's magnetism comes down to the cinematography. Because most of the "dialogue" is heard as voiceovers from inside the heads of various characters, Wenders is free to let his camera roam more than most modestly budgeted films allow. He uses this freedom to show us Berlin in all its shattered glory. It also allows him to show us Berlin as angels might see it alongside what people on the street might see. All in glorious black-and-white (for the most part). When the film switches to color, the impact is tremendous. Never before had I realized just how different the experience of black-and-white is from color visuals.

Bruno Ganz as Damiel is responsible for the rest of the film's magnetism. That might be a slight exaggeration, since the other actors, including Peter Falk, are quite good, but Ganz's sympathetic yet longing face says so much throughout the film. It stands in for anyone who's ever desired another life, one of passion and spontaneity rather than the dull trudge of daily work. Amazingly, when the film switches to color (because Ganz has become human), his face is able to convey the wonder of his transformation. It is awesome in the oldest sense of the word.

As a city, Berlin has hosted a number of amazing musicians over the years. As a Nick Cave fan, I would be remiss in not mentioning his cameo with the Bad Seeds in the film. Cave is known for his dark, violent songs about love and death, but in the context of Wenders' film, with Cave surrounded by angels, we can see the tremendous life that comes screaming out of the music, like Cave and company are providing the aural equivalent of birth pangs for human joy. Even if you don't want to get all analytical on it, seeing the Bad Seeds in their Eighties prime is good enough.

Criterion has done another fantastic job with this Blu-ray release of the film. This is obviously a new master of the film, as the sepia tone of the previous DVD release has been replaced with a more starkly contrasted black-and-white. The source is fairly clean, with minimal damage and just the right amount of grain to maintain a filmlike presentation. The color sequences are perfectly saturated with quality skin tones. The German (with occasional French and English) DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio track is clear and free of noise, and the English subtitles are clean and easy to read.

Extras are extensive, and include some of the supplements from the previous DVD release. The audio commentary (culled from interviews) with Wenders and Peter Falk includes some interesting info on how the film was made, as well as the artistic intentions of those involved. Also from the previous release, "The Angels Among Us" is a documentary featuring interviews with the cast and crew, as well as a series of deleted scenes with Wenders' commentary. The pie fight scene is worth a watch just to imagine how different the film would be with it included.

New material includes an excerpt from a French television show, "Wim Wnders Berlin Jan. 87," which spends about 20 minutes with Wenders on set filming the film-with-a-film from Wings of Desire. Because cinematographer Henri Alekan was so essential to the production of Wings of Desire , Criterion has devoted two featurettes to him, both of which are from the Eighties. There are also a couple of features related to the angels, Bruno Ganz and Otto Sander. The pair made a short film, included here, about their co-star Curt Bois, and there's also a segment from a program where they discuss the film. The disc rounds out with a photo gallery that includes shots of the sets and some sketches. There's also a booklet included with an essay by Michael Arkinson, a poem by co-writer Peter Handke, and the film's treatment by Wim Wenders.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Wings of Desire is a total art-house film. That means that the plot doesn't move quickly, the film's themes are complex, and the atmosphere is very contemplative. Those expecting anything like a traditional narrative will likely be disappointed. Those expecting a film like the remake City of Angels will also probably be disappointed.

I would also have liked to see a featurette on the music of the film, especially if it involved hearing more from Nick Cave. The film uses music so well, and Berlin has such a rich musical tradition, that it would be good to hear more about that specifically.

Closing Statement

Throw out those old Wings of Desire DVDs and jump on this hi-def bandwagon with this fantastic Criterion release. For Wim Wenders' seminal film we get a beautiful transfer and informative supplements that make the experience of watching Wings of Desire even richer than it already is. Although this disc is an easy recommendation to fans of the film, art-house lovers in general will want to give this film a rental at the very least to experience Wenders' poetic ode to Berlin.

The Verdict

Wings of Desire is acquitted of all charges.

Where evil grows, she preys.

Opening Statement

The latest attempt at bringing Japanese animation into the realm of live action comes courtesy of Blood: The Last Vampire, based on the somewhat short-ish Production IG animated flick from way back in 2000. Does the live action variety manage to make a compelling film out of what was essentially a TV hour of anime? Or is this one vampire flick that sucks instead of bites.

Facts of the Case

Blood: The Last Vampire tells the story of Saya (Gianna), a Japanese demon slayer, Samurai, and consummate bad-ass; who happens to be half human and half vampire. Working as a hunter for a shadowy organization referred to only as "The Council," she finds herself on an American Air Force base in Japan in the early 70's. It seems a few demons have been treating the school's student body like a salad bar; and lurking somewhere in the shadows is Onegin, the big enchilada, the Demon responsible for her father's death almost 400 years ago. In between downing milk bottles full of blood; Saya kicks some ass, takes some names, and has a ton of flashbacks.

The Evidence

Studios have been having a bit of trouble converting the most bizarre of artforms that is anime into a live action film worth watching. Past results have been pretty tepid, from the ludicrously embarrassing Fist of the North Star to the sillier than hell Dragon Ball: Evolution. Blood: The Last Vampire gets the first bit right by choosing a property that wasn't completely insane to begin with, and does one better by choosing an anime that wasn't particularly fleshed out either. The original animated film ran less than a full hour, and didn't really give a whole lot of background. This gives the screenwriters here a little bit of room to play with origins and back story. Saya herself is considerably more fleshed out, and the script puts a little more narrative meat on her bones, even if it is Spam or Smeat.

So if you've seen the anime of the same name, you know about half of the story. Demons are loose on an air force base, and Saya goes undercover as a Japanese student, complete with sailor's outfit, to find em and cut em a new one. Along the way she hooks up with a reluctant partner, Alice (Alison Miller, 17 Again), the rebellious daughter of the base's commanding officer. Her "CIA" handlers cover her tracks well enough by cleaning up her messy kills and dealing with the authorities. This is only a small chunk of our tale, and it cribs pretty liberally from the animated version, almost frame by frame in some respects. This stuff occupies the first act of the flick, and once the curtains are opened on act two, everything is changed up.

Blood: The Last Vampire endeavors to give Saya a past, and we're educated with a series of flashbacks that take us to Feudal Japan. These bits tell us the tragic tale of Saya's growing up under the tutelage of her Father's servant, Kato (martial arts master Yasuaki Kurata) and her slow transformation into bad-ass demon slayer. Meanwhile in the 70's, Alice's General Daddy winds up on the wrong end of a dispute with the agents, and she runs to Saya for help. It all leads to a bizarre final confrontation with Saya's nemesis, who's got secrets of her own.

Yes, it is a little convoluted, and the plot essentially exists to string together action scenes in the simplest way possible. To that end, the movie is functional if not completely original. When the action does heat up, particularly where Saya is concerned, it's a little disappointing. I'm not sure how much of a martial arts background our lead actress, the Korean born Gianna, has, but she doesn't really sell the bad-ass persona as her movements look a little stiff and untrained. The best fight scene in the film comes when Yasuki Kurata (as Kato in a flashback sequence) takes on an army of Demon Ninja in a leaf-strewn forest. Kurata is amazing to watch, and the beautifully choreographed battle royale has CG blood and body parts flying everywhere. It brings back memories of Zack Snyder's 300.

All of the combat in the film is accompanied by computer generated carnage and more than a little of the "real" fake blood. It's a gory flick that revels in the bloodletting. It's also shot stylishly, with lots of slow motion and other camera trickery. On the whole, the action, being the chief draw of the flick, works well enough to entertain.

The stylish visuals are transferred well. There's a natural grainy look to the disc, and the colors are saturated and sour, but these effects are deliberate. The disc itself shows no noticeable flaws. The audio is fine as well, with some nice punch in the surrounds and the sub channel. For extras we get two brief featurettes that talk about the making of the film and the stunt work. They're ok for a once over, but it's not what I would call a treasure trove of info.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

I won't beat around the bush here, the degree of acting talent on display here falls somewhere between public access cable and Medic-Alert commercials. Outside of Gianna's suitably cold and distant portrayal of Saya, everyone else just sort of hams it up. The worst of the lot are the Americans. Liam Cunningham (The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor) and Colon Salmon (Resident Evil) do fine when they're on screen. Everyone else is just wretched.

Then there's the special effects...oh boy. Just because you have access to CG, that doesn't mean you should use it. Creatures look laughably bad, and the geysers of gushing blood are painfully rendered. At times it works (the aforementioned Demon Ninja beat down), but more often it's laughable.

Closing Statement

Blood: The Last Vampire doesn't quite work as well in live action as it did in animated form, but as a sort of companion piece it adds some much needed depth to the central character. It's worth watching if you're a fan of martial arts flicks, or familiar with the source material. Everyone else can come along for the carnage, and probably won't be too put out.

The Verdict

Guilty? Nah. Let it go.

Get ready for a whole new pecking order.

The Case

When Wasabi World is in trouble, there's only one superhero team that gets the call to set things right: The Chop Socky Chooks, a trip of chickens highly skilled in martial artistry. You've got Chick P, KO Joe, and Chuckie Chan, each representing a board stereotype from action movies. Chick P is the wise-cracking femme fatale, KO the Black Dynamite-inspired butt-kicker and Chuckie Chan is the wise, old master.

Together, they square off with their arch-nemesis, the sinister Dr. Wasabi, who continually tries to defeat his foes like any goofball animated kids show antagonist would: by drumming up the most obtuse, needlessly complicated Rube Goldberg-ish contraptions of death-dealing. Two discs, thirteen episodes.

So basically it's your typical bombastic cartoon, which took me by surprise considering the back of the disc case trumpets Chooks as an award-winner affiliated with Aardman (Wallace and Gromit). Maybe there's a cult following for this show, but I have to be honest: I don't get it.

This is your standard-issue, hyperactive, ADHD tomfoolery, with a kung-fu kick and poultry flavor. Episodes follow the standard game plan of introducing the dastardly-plot-of-the-week and then going full-bore with wisecracking and overblown action sequences and loud cartoon music and bright colors and headaches. What's missing? Wit, pretty much, and subtlety. Plus, while the computer-generated animation has its moments, and works well enough with the bonkers pacing of the show, I wasn't a fan of the character designs. These dudes are chickens, right? Not bratwurst links?

All that being said, here's the usual Big Caveat that accompanies these kids show reviews. While I find this show as charming as "Thriller" played on the jackhammer, the designated audience -- small versions of adults, about yay high, fluid running freely from their noses -- will likely eat this up. There's a lot on screen, it's bright and energetic and, of course, everyone does fricking kung fu.

The DVDs: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, 2.0 stereo, and no extras.

The Verdict

The court isn't a fan, but his future kids will probably enjoy it. Still, Guilty of generally annoying me.

John Huston's final masterpiece...

Opening Statement

...ruined by Lionsgate.

Facts of the Case

The Feast of the Epiphany, Dublin, 1904, and the Morkan sisters, Kate (Helena Carroll, The Friends of Eddie Coyle) and Julia (Cathleen Delany) are hosting their annual holiday party. The aged, unmarried sisters have devoted their lives to the arts, particularly music -- enjoying it, teaching it, singing in choirs -- and among their many friends and acquaintances sharing this holiday with them is the tenor, Bartell D'Arcy (Frank Patterson).

Kate and Julia's nephew, Gabriel Conroy (Donal McCann, Out of Africa) is there, of course, and he will, as always, offer the toast to thank his aunts and his cousin, Mary Jane (Ingrid Craigie, Da), for their graciousness. Also enjoying the evening is Gabriel's wife, Gretta (Anjelica Huston, The Grifters), who is sometimes a bit bemused by just how straight and responsible her husband is.

As it is every year, the evening is a success -- dancing, musical performances, a recitation, a fine meal, good company, and warm, if slightly melancholy, recollections of absent friends take the chill out of the snowy night. But as they're leaving, Gabriel catches Gretta listening to Mr. D'Arcy sing a folk song, and she seems moved in a way he's never seen her. Later, Gabriel will learn of one of Gretta's absent friends and have, himself, an epiphany, a realization of the transience of existence and how the dead continue to impact the living.

The Evidence

James Joyce's "The Dead" -- the final story in Dubliners -- is considered one of the great short stories. It was also considered impossible to translate to film. It's a story of thoughts and interior monologues, a period piece without melodrama or pretty much anything in the way of action. The story climaxes with a middle-aged woman weeping over a memory of lost love triggered by hearing a folk song, and her husband ruminating to himself about the meaning of life. How could this ever be filmic and true to the spirit of Joyce?

John Huston was one of the last of his generation of great directors and his penultimate film, Prizzi's Honor, was a critical and commercial success that suggested an artist in his prime rather than at twilight. The Dead was a long-time dream project for Huston, and buoyed, perhaps, by the success of Prizzi's Honor and the knowledge that his own time was running out, the director made the film as it needed to be made, not as a literate sop to film goers, with recognizably pretty faces and visually pleasing actions supplanting ideas, but as a faithful translation of Joyce's text. The result is moody and beautiful, a haunting and affecting film that perfectly captures the rhythms and nuances of its source.

It's the stuff of legend now -- Huston directing from an oxygen tent, would not live to see the film's December 1987 release. His son, Tony, wrote the script (and received an Oscar nomination) and served as his father's assistant. Huston's daughter, Anjelica, was cast in the pivotal role of Gretta, and her scenes at the end -- her quiet, pained reverie on hearing the song, and later, her emotional telling of the story of a young man who died for love of her -- are just beautiful.

Donal McCann is very good as the slightly too-assured and responsible Gabriel. McCann is tasked with delivering the closing monologue, an almost five-minute speech taken almost verbatim from the story, which plays over simple scenes of a snowfall mixed shots of the actor's face and the character's thoughts and memories of the evening. Wisely, McCann and Huston let the words speak for themselves; as such, the words retain their power, unadorned.

Many of the roles are played by Irish stage actors and actresses (though Carroll is originally from Scotland), and their modestly heartfelt and authentic performances fit the bill very well. Huston's camera is unobtrusive, like another party guest, gliding from this face to that, panning slowly to an old woman's face as her eyes sparkle with the memory of an exceptional tenor she once heard, slipping at one point away and peeking around a room at the souvenirs of a life, the inconsequential things that tell so much about people. Huston knows these people, and he presents them with such affection. Through small talk and quiet interactions, Huston opens up an entire world, and by the end, these people are as familiar as they'd be if we'd always known them.

This is a wonderfully evocative and moving film, one that I've been hoping would get a DVD release for some time. So, I should be happy to have this disc.

Right?

The Rebuttal Witnesses

There was talk that Criterion was going to release The Dead, meaning we would almost definitely gotten the film with a beautifully restored picture, cleaned up audio, and worthwhile extras. Unfortunately, this never amounted to anything other than rumor.

Unfortunately.

What we get from Lionsgate is worse than their usual lousy catalogue-title dumping.

The box art, naturally, sucks. Why use the beautiful original poster art when you can just Photoshop a picture of Anjelica Huston's head into some picturesque but irrelevant scene that doesn't appear in the film? If only this was the worst part of this release.

But it gets worse.

Of course, there are no extras -- not even a trailer, though you can find the quite lovely trailer for The Dead on the Internet, probably in no worse shape than it would have turned up here. There's also a ready-made, 60-minute feature, John Huston and the Dubliners, made as a companion piece to the film. Is this a film that deserves something better than a bare-bones release? Absolutely. But I guess I should be happy just to have this on DVD after waiting so long...

But it gets worse.

The Dead was shot in 1.85 aspect ratio -- only the Lionsgate box claims that the presentation is 1.78. In truth, while it seems a bit tight to the frame, I can't say for certain that the aspect ratio is screwed up here. I tried, unscientifically, checking it against an old VHS and some online sources, and the picture does seem a bit cut off on all four sides. I can say with certainty that the print Lionsgate used has seen better days, that it looks dull, and some scenes look like they were sourced from an entirely different print. I wasn't expecting a remastered picture, but 1987 isn't so long ago that you couldn't expect a better image.

But it gets worse. Much worse.

The DVD case lists a running time of 73 minutes. I know this film runs over 80 minutes (83, I believe, with the PAL DVD running a bit shorter due to speed up). I just assumed the 73 minute runtime was an editorial error, so when I put the disc in, I used the scene selections to navigate to the end. Sure enough, it was 73 minutes as the credits faded to black.

So, I started watching the film, to see if I could ascertain what was removed to shorten the running time. Well, the answer was easy: Lionsgate dropped an entire 10-minute stretch right near the start of the film. From around eight minutes in to the 18-minute mark is just gone. Character introductions, bits of business that will factor into the story later -- approximately 12.5 percemt of the film -- just not there. There's just a huge jump that eliminates about a dozen key scenes. It's like if you went to the movies and the projectionist just decided not to show Reel 2, you know, because he wanted to get home early.

Mind you, there's no reason for this chunk of film to be gone. This isn't an exploitation film with a shadowy history that's played under a variety of names, with different versions having different lengths. At best -- and this is just speculation -- this might have been the print used when The Dead was shown on commercial television somewhere, the 10 minutes lopped off to fit the film in a 90-minute slot. Whatever the case, it is absolutely disgraceful that Lionsgate would release the film like this. It's beyond careless. Needless to say, particularly since it happens so early on, it renders the film unwatchable, destroying Huston's meticulous rhythm and pacing.

Isn't there anyone at Lionsgate who checks the print to make sure they're putting the right film in the box? Maybe checks to make sure the run time, aspect ratio, and whatever else, are in place? Even an intern who's not familiar with the film should be able to tell time. See -- 73 minutes and 83 minutes are not the same thing. Lionsgate is not a sham company; they've been in business for a while and have released some worthwhile discs. Didn't anyone think that 73 minutes was awfully light for a 1987 feature? How could they not know that they were releasing a version that's 10 minutes too short? It's mind boggling.

While I would hardly call it a rabid fan base, The Dead certainly has a following. I really hope that people who've been anticipating this film's release on DVD let Lionsgate know what they think of this truncated, badly presented monstrosity.

Closing Statement

Lionsgate has given us some good releases and some crappy releases, but this appalling piss-on-the-memory-of-John-Huston treatment of the director's final film is a new low. Shame on them for trying to foist off on the public an incomplete and wretched looking version of this great film.

The Dead sometimes turns up on cable -- I saw it not too long ago on IFC, complete and uncut, in a beautiful aspect-ratio correct widescreen presentation. If you see it coming to a cable channel near you, DVR it, TiVo it, break out your old VHS recorder -- even if you film it with your cell phone, you'll get a better rendering than what Lionsgate offers here.

The Verdict

This is a great film undone by a stunningly irresponsible disc.

Today, call me "The Hangin' Judge," and call Lionsgate guilty, guilty, guilty.

Editor's Note: (5 November 2009)
Thanks to Tom's diligent review, the studio has instituted a product recall and is offering replacement copies to consumers.

It has come to our attention that due to a technical malfunction, the initial DVD shipment of John Huston's THE DEAD contained an incomplete version of the film. We deeply apologize to all our consumers for this unfortunate error and want to offer them an opportunity to replace their current copies with the complete version as soon as it is available to ship the week of November 23rd. We regret this inconvenience, as Lionsgate is committed to providing our consumers the highest quality home entertainment experience.

Please call (800) 650-7099 with any additional questions.

A valiant fight against bad Nazis, bad dubbing and bad acting!

The Case

The fact that a film like Eagles Over London is being given a Blu-ray release must surely be evidence of the format's evolution. The film is an obscure, little-seen, moderate-scale "Macaroni War Movie" directed by the famed Enzo G. Castellari (who also helmed the original version of The Inglorious Bastards). The plot is rather simple: while the British evacuate Dunkirk during World War II, German spies infiltrate the British Army. It's a race against time as the Brits attempt to find the saboteurs before the Germans can make their deadly move.

If the Blu-ray case is any indication, director Quentin Tarantino may be largely responsible for this film's release. Not only is he quoted on the case as saying that Eagles Over London boasts one of his "favorite storylines of all time!" but he is also featured prominently in the film's supplemental material. As of the writing of this review, I've seen Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds (nothing at all like Castellari's version) twice, and it's clear that Eagles Over London served as a strong stylistic influence for Tarantino's movie. Quentin borrowed quite a lot from this film, particularly in terms of production design and visuals. There are a few locations in Inglourious Basterds that very explicitly recall sets from Eagles Over London, and the unexpected tangents of stylistic indulgence that littered the former film are also present in the latter.

It may be odd, distracting, and occasionally rather cheesy, but those stylistic flourishes are a large part of what makes Eagles Over London work. The characters are thin and the plot isn't particularly surprising, but Castellari keeps the viewer engaged with his completely unpredictable sense of energy. Unusual camera angles and peculiar shots are in abundance, particularly a moment in which a man turns his hand into his own personal telescope. There's another sequence in which a couple makes love as bombs fall throughout the city. The director cuts shamelessly between the explosions and moments of ecstasy; it's sort of the mirror image of a similarly cut scene from Steven Spielberg's Munich. Most amusing of all is the director's use of split-screen: he doesn't always use the technique to offer two or three different images, but often just offers duplicates of a single image. Why bother? Because it adds a little pizzazz, I guess.

The other noteworthy attribute is Castellari's gift for staging energetic action sequences. The film's budget wasn't enormous, but Castellari managed to get quite a lot out of what he had to work with. The biggest and best sequence is undoubtedly the director's portrait of the Battle of Britain. Despite the fact that it "cheats" by allowing some undoubtedly explosive moments of note to occur offscreen, it's still an impressively-staged set piece that manages to thrill despite constant evidence of budget limitations. Elsewhere, there are a half-dozen or so smaller battle sequences that also impress. It's no surprise that some of the battle footage from this movie was recycled in other Italian war films in the years that followed (though Eagles Over London also borrows its share of older stock footage).

What isn't so impressive is the acting. The only "name" actors in the cast are Van Johnson (The Caine Mutiny) and Frederick Stafford (Topaz), but neither gets anything terribly interesting to do. Johnson seems stiff and uncomfortable during his handful of scenes as an Air Marshall, while Stafford is fairly bland in his more traditional leading man role. The (mostly Italian) supporting actors tend to fall into either ridiculous overacting or amateurish awkwardness. Even if their performances were convincing, they would still be undercut by the absolutely atrocious dubbing found throughout the film. I've never been a big fan of dubbing in general, particularly when it's done as poorly as it is in Eagles Over London.

The big question is why someone thought this film was in need of a hi-def transfer. The movie is in pretty rough shape, and benefits only a little from being presented in 1080p. There's a ton of grain, grit, scratches, flecks, hairs, dirt, and all sorts of other visual blemishes. At times, the top or bottom of the screen will become extremely blurry. Lots of shots are very soft, and background detail is not particularly strong. Facial detail is okay, but not exceptional. The audio is even worse, presented in very flat and uninvolving 2.0 stereo. The fun score by Francesco De Masi is tinny and distorted, losing any punch it might have given the film. Dialogue is terribly inconsistent, veering from barely audible to much-too-loud. There's a good deal of hiss left intact, too. The Tarantino-heavy supplements are a slight disappointing, mostly because they suffer from sub-par audio quality. The conversation between Tarantino and Castellari focuses mostly on the Italian film industry, only touching briefly on this film specifically. More specific is a Q&A session hosted by Tarantino, but the video and audio on this piece is very poor and the questions aren't very interesting. Other than that, you just get a handful of deleted scenes.

Diehard Tarantino fans and war movie buffs may want to take a look at Eagles Over London, but the average viewer might find it a bit underwhelming. The Blu-ray release is a big disappointment.

The Verdict

The film's crimes will be ignored thanks to the involving direction, but this release is guilty.

One moment changes rverything.

Opening Statement

In 1968, Los Angeles became the first city in the world to have a Special Weapons and Tactics Team (aka S.W.A.T), an elite group uniquely trained to handle crisis situations such as hostage taking, riots, and homegrown terrorist attacks. Covered with body armor, backed up by crack-shot snipers, and moving with military precision, these were the Navy Seals of law enforcement and it wasn't long before teams like these were commonplace all over the United States.

In 1976, thanks to Spelling/Goldberg productions, America got its first look inside the LA SWAT team, demystifying them, humanizing them and they got a number one record out of it, too.

S.W.A.T. the TV series was corny and cliché and over the top from the frozen title cards of the characters caught mid-action to the humorous tags that closed each episode. Still, I loved it. But times have changed and now there's a new series that truly captures the essence of S.W.A.T. It's Flashpoint: The First Season now on DVD.

Facts of the Case

Sgt. Greg Parker (Enrico Colantoni, Veronica Mars) heads up an unnamed Canadian city's Strategic Response Unit (SRU) but keeping the streets safe is only half of his job. When he's not talking a gunman into giving up a hostage, he's counseling his young team members, trying to keep their heads on straight.

Sam Braddock (David Paetkau, Final Destination 2) is an ex-special forces operative who believes that might makes right. Mike 'Spike' Scarlatti (Sergio Di Zio) is their demolitions expert, Lewis 'Lew' Young (Mark Taylor) is a former gang member who now handles "less lethal weapons" (tear gas, rubber bullets). Kevin 'Wordy' Wordsworth (Michael Cram) is a "close quarters" expert and Julianna 'Jules' Callaghan (Amy Jo Johnson, Power Rangers), the only girl on the team, is the secondary sniper. Experienced officer Ed Lane (Hugh Dillon, Durham County) is the lead sniper and second to Parker.

When they roll, a peaceful solution is the goal -- but it doesn't always work out that way. There are 13 episodes in Season One. They are:

Disc One
• "Scorpio"
• "First in Line"
• "Element of Surprise"
• "Asing for Flowers"

Disc Two
• "Who's George"
• "Attention Shoppers"
• "He Knows His Brother"
• "Never Kissed A Girl"
• "Planets Aligned"

Disc Three
• "Eagle Two"
• "Backwards Day"
• "Haunting the Barn"
• "Between Heartbeats"

The Evidence

Flashpoint is one of those really good TV shows that you're probably not watching. The series was created for Canadian TV and was picked up by CBS during the writer's strike as a way of keeping fresh content on the air. Though the city they work in is never named, it's obviously Canadian making this the first network TV in the US to be set entirely north of the border.

What sets Flashpoint apart from its earlier counterpart is the amount of humanity that's poured into ever episode. Sure, there's a lot of action, but there's a lot of talking, too. Psychology plays a huge part in this series and it's not always about getting inside the head of the perpetrator. Flashpoint is one of the rare cop shows that focuses on the impact the job has on an officer who's forced to take a life in order to save another.

Enrico Colantoni is excellent in his role as the calm, compassionate leader of the SRU. Every time his team his called upon, he sends them into the fray with the phrase, "let's keep the peace." It's an ironic sentiment for a group of officers who show up at the crime scene armed to the teeth, but that phrase is the heart of this show. In each episode, you can feel Sgt. Parker ticking off the boxes, exhausting one possible way out after another until he has nothing left but a bullet fired from a sniper's gun. The snipers let him know they have a clear shot at the perpetrator by uttering another interesting phrase, "I have a solution." Parker says go and a life is taken away -- just like that.

Flashpoint isn't as violent as you might imagine and they certainly don't take the violence lightly. The writers make it very clear that there are consequences to every action, be it the fired employee pushed to his limit or a cop who chooses not to act, and because of an innocent hostage dies.

If you're into happy endings, this isn't the show for you. More often than not, even when the good guys win, they lose.

Hugh Dillon is also excellent, and you may scoff at the idea of Power Ranger Amy Jo Johnson as a S.W.A.T. sniper, but it works. She's still cute. She's still girly but she does her job and she's very real in the role. She was also pregnant when she filmed much of the season, and still she climbs staircase after staircase loaded down in a bulletproof vest and with a rifle slung over her back. She's a trooper.

From a production standpoint, Flashpoint is visually interesting and you may not even realize why until you listen to the commentary on the pilot episode. Wide angles, sweeping camera moves, artsy shots of buildings, and lots of tech all combine to keep the episode moving even when all of the characters are standing in the same place for thirty minutes at a time. It's tense. It's tight and it's never boring.

Flashpoint: The First Season comes on three discs snapped into swing holders inside a plastic case with a slip sleeve. In addition to the commentary, there's also a behind the scenes featurette, and a piece called "The Human Cost of Heroism." They're nicely made, but they're short and they don't add much.

Visually, the show looks great, it suits a wide screen HDTV and the 5.1 stereo audio is well balanced.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

The episode titles and descriptions are written on the inside of the DVD cover, so they're difficult to read. It's particularly annoying because they spent the money to include an advertising booklet, when they could have put in a booklet about the show.

Closing Statement

When people hear that Flashpoint is a show about a S.W.A.T. team, they immediately think of high-action, bullets flying, bodies dropping, and nothing could be further from the truth. Each episode of Flashpoint begins with the perpetrator deep in the middle of a crisis, then they hit the rewind button to show you how they got there. Suddenly, we see that the gun-totting bank robber is man who loves his wife enough to kill for her. And a woman threatening to kill a man, is really only trying to protect her sister.

These aren't black and white bad guys. These are people caught in bad situations and it's up the SRU to make it all come out okay in the end. Sometimes everybody lives -- but only sometimes.

The Verdict

The jury finds Flashpoint: The First Season did what it had to do in order to keep the peace. Not Guilty.

"The adventure is even funnier on Blu-Ray!"

Opening Statement

Many things can be said about high definition media, but I'm a little suspicious about claims that it makes films funnier. This is especially true of films that feature Tim Curry and Rob Schneider in the same scene. Still, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York on Blu-Ray does look and sound a bit better than the DVD.

Facts of the Case

Through a genuinely ridiculous series of circumstances, Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin, Saved!) is left without his family for a second year in a row. This time, however, he isn't at home: he is alone in the big city of New York. Fear not, though, because everything else is the same as last time around, from the wet bandits to the Rube-Goldberg inspired shenanigans. The whole cast is back for another easy holiday paycheck, including Joe Pesci (Casino) and Daniel Stern (Whip it).

The Evidence

While the first Home Alone film remains a touching and slightly edgy family holiday comedy, not enough changed in the formula to make Home Alone 2: Lost in New York stand out. The whole film has its elbow in our ribs, reminding us that things are happening just like they did the first time. The plot has to go through wild contortions just to set up the new scenario, and all for the exact same payoff we get the first time around. It's the same jokes, the same setups, the same pratfalls. Kids will enjoy it, of course, but there's something to be said about a good dose of originality.

To be fair, the abandoned house battle does take the action up a notch from the original, which is what we all came for anyway. Kevin is better at booby trapping than Rambo, and the results of these pranks even push the boundaries of the PG rating. It's a long 75 minutes waiting to get there, though. The whole situation at the hotel in the first half of the film simply exists to bring Kevin's parents to New York, and the parents' arrival exists simply to bring a close to the hotel side plot. It's all just a way to squeeze in a few more Christmas songs and celebrity cameos.

Really, though, what matters here is the quality of the Blu-Ray release. Is it worth the upgrade from DVD? The video transfer certainly looks better than DVD can, but close inspection reveals a lot of digital grain and a lack of shadow detail. I don't think this transfer has come from anything close to the original source material. The sound is a bit better, but a DTS-HD track seems like a bit of overkill for a film originally mixed in stereo. Nothing stands out or fills the soundstage here. If your family has a good system and a lot of love for the Home Alone series, it is probably worth the upgrade. For everyone else, I'd say stick with what you have. There are no special features.

Closing Statement

I hate to be a grinchy scrooge, but Home Alone 2: Lost in New York simply isn't as good as the film that came before it. Despite the presence of John Hughes and Christopher Columbus on the production team, this overblown sequel stumbles over the finish line about a half-an-hour late. Even a decent transfer can't make the movie any shorter -- or funnier.

The Verdict

Guilty of some serious holiday greed.

"The search for passion, feeling, love...It'll get you every time."

The Case

The late night cable horror anthology, based on the title of a 1983 vampire movie, returns for more sexy bloodletting in The Hunger: The Complete Second Season. The series shares nothing in common with the movie The Hunger aside from the title and the marginal participation of two notable names from the original. There are a dozen directors and almost as many writers taking turns over the course of 22 half-hour episodes but the whole experience feels like one long slog through repetitive themes. Originally aired in 1999 and 2000, the season is spread across four discs on this DVD set.

Disc One
• Sanctuary
• Skin Deep
• Dream Sentinel
• And She Laughed
• Nunc Dimittis
• Week Woman

Disc Two
• Night Bloomer
• The Diarist
• Sin Seer
• Triangle in Steel
• Brass
• Replacements

Disc Three
• I'm Very Dangerous Tonight
• Wrath of God
• Bottle of Smoke
• The Perfect Couple
• The Sacred Fire
• Approaching Desdemona

Disc Four
• The Seductress
• Double
• The Falling Man
• The Suction Method

Director Tony Scott (Crimson Tide) takes the reins for the first episode but his style here is less like the perfume ad dreaminess of his cult hit vampire movie and more like his hyperkinetic Domino. Edits are quick, flashbacks are heavily processed visually, sound effects are jarring and the plot is more impressionistic than cohesive. David Bowie (The Prestige), a key cast member from the original movie, joins the proceedings and his presence almost lends legitimacy to this series. He plays a controversial artist named Julian Priest who lives in an abandoned penitentiary while his celebrity status gradually fades. When a wounded young man arrives at his doorstep, Julian's suspicions are aroused along with his creative impulse. What sets "Sanctuary" apart from the subsequent episodes of the series is the lack of soft-core sex and nudity. The other consistent element of the show -- the bloody violence -- is served up in gory fashion.

Bowie acts as host for the rest of the series by introducing and closing each episode with sagely observations of the "be careful what you wish for" variety. There is at least one vampire story in the second season but there are also witches, ghosts, strippers and assorted women who like to receive or inflict pain. The supernatural element is a constant, as is the female nudity and the twist endings. Stylistically, there isn't a lot of difference from episode to episode so any visual tricks that annoy you will be repeated.

Anthology series are often a good showcase of talented up and comer actors and, looking back at older shows, it can be interesting to see the early work of recognizable stars. Unfortunately, the half-hour format of television's The Hunger hardly affords its cast any room to prove themselves. Basically, they're playing generic types and they have just enough time to establish that personality before their character is put through various plot turns. For example, Brooke Smith (Grey's Anatomy) plays a woman who goes through severe mood swings in "Week Woman." It feels like we're simply watching an acting exercise because there isn't a chance to empathize with her character. Similarly with the other episodes it feels like we're just observing a stock character who is enduring some script machinations. Some of the more prominent cast members are: Jennifer Beals (The L Word), Giovanni Ribisi (Boiler Room), Brad Dourif (Deadwood), Anthony Michael Hall (TV's The Dead Zone) and Lori Petty (Booker: Collector's Edition).

The only extra on this DVD set is a featurette on the fourth disc. "Mr. Skin's Top Ten Scenes" is exactly what it sounds like. In case the series was at risk of having too classy a reputation, the Internet's preeminent compiler of celebrity nudity hosts a half-hour collection of clips from Seasons One and Two. In many cases, these are full-length clips from their respective episodes. It sounds a bit tacky but at least it's not a dull look back at the series.

The technical presentation of the previous season was reportedly substandard. While the second season is far from reference quality, it is an improvement that serves its subject matter in adequate fashion. The picture is generally clean so that dust and other stray pops are barely noticeable. The image tends to be very grainy in moments but this looks like an intentional effect for bright scenes and flashbacks. In darker scenes the color bias is very warm and the shadows are murky to the point of hiding all details. The visual aspect of the show is nothing to write home about, but if I saw the show broadcast on television at this level of image quality I wouldn't be bothered by it at all. Likewise, there's nothing special about the sound mix but the dialogue is clearly heard and the music and sound effects have a strong presence.

There are a few stories in this anthology that could have been really interesting if explored at fuller length. However, the set format of The Hunger: The Complete Second Season puts them all on pretty much the same mediocre level. The requisite blood and sex keeps the actors and the ideas from shining. In small doses, the series can be an energetic, though ultimately forgettable, distraction. The more episodes I watched, however, the more it felt like the same thing.

The Verdict

Guilty.

Power up to adventure!

The Case

Marvel Comics' characters have been experiencing quite a lot of success on the big screen during the last decade or so, but only recently have they made a resurgence on television. Marvel has had reasonable success in terms of re-tooling their characters with new programs like The Spectacular Spider-Man, The Super Hero Squad Show and Wolverine and the X-Men. Tony Stark also gets the Y7 treatment with Iron Man: Armored Adventures, which takes everybody's favorite alcoholic, government-endorsed billionaire business mogul/superhero and turns him into a hip teenager.

As the story begins, Tony's father Howard passes away. Howard Stark was the founder of Stark Industries, a very powerful industrial manufacturing company that creates everything from construction machinery to kitchen appliances. The company will be Tony's when he turns 18, but until then it has been placed under the supervision of the not-so-secretly villainous Obadiah Stane (I do love that name, I truly do). Immediately after Howard Stark passes away, Stane decides to use the resources of Stark Industries to create high-powered weapons for the government. Tony is not terribly thrilled about that, but what can he do? He's just a teenager. Insert an accident, a high-tech cure and some innovative thinking on Tony's part, and voila! He's a superhero nicknamed "Iron Man" (because he wears a flying suit made of iron).

There are six episodes included on this disc:

• Iron, Forged in Fire -- Part 1
• Iron, Forged in Fire -- Part 2
• Secrets and Lies
• Cold War
• Whiplash
• Iron Man vs. The Crimson Dynamo

I have mixed feelings about the program, but let's start by focusing on the good. These adventures may fall short of the high standard set by (awed silence, please) Batman: The Animated Series, but they're reasonably engaging as such things go. Head writer Christopher Yost (whose work in the field of comic books is similarly adequate) does a nice job of including many aspects of the Iron Man mythos, fusing both the more realistic real-world stuff and the fantastical mystical elements. Unlike many children's programs, this one actually does manage to include some ongoing plot threads, most notably Tony's ongoing efforts at stopping Obadiah Stane from achieving his many evil goals. However, each episode is also satisfactorily self-contained, as Tony deals with problems ranging from nasty supervillains to runaway trains. It's all presented in a fairly appealing blend of CGI and traditional 2-D animation, which works like gangbusters during the action sequences even though it makes conversational scenes feel a little awkward and creepy.

However, things aren't all good in this revamped animated world. I know it's not a very fair comparison, but it's hard not to compare this version of Tony Stark with the one presented in Jon Favreau's live-action film franchise. Frankly, the biggest problem with Iron Man: Armored Adventures is that this version of Tony Stark doesn't feel one bit like Iron Man. Aside from the fact that he's pretty confident and wears a suit of Iron, there's no real connection between this Tony Stark and the traditional version. In fact, Tony comes across as being a whole lot more like Peter Parker in this series, particularly when you work in the fact that he's an ordinary high school student rather than a high-powered business owner during his free time. Pepper Potts? She's an ordinary girl who goes to his high school. Jim Rhodes? Yep, just an ordinary guy who goes to his high school. As you might expect, they're all given "typical high school problems" to deal with in their personal lives (it makes them sooooo relateable). Again, this stuff is the bread and butter of much Spider-Man material, but in the Iron Man franchise it just feels out of place. Truthfully, this series probably should have been called Iron Boy: Angsty Adventures.

The full-frame transfer is quite sharp and detailed, considerably better than the average DVD release for an animated children's program. I've noticed a bothersome trend among discs of this sort; the producers often seem to put less care into the transfers due to the fact that few adults will be watching. Thankfully, that's not the case with this disc. Detail is excellent throughout, the broad color palette comes through with vibrance and blacks are rich and deep. Audio is also stellar, though I did find the theme song ("His teenage life will never be the same!") a bit loud in contrast to everything else. Otherwise, this 5.1 track gets the job done. The only extras on the disc are a couple of cheesy music videos and some suit profiles offering details on Tony's armor.

The 5- to 10-year-old action junkie in your home may find this stuff entertaining, but it's less impressive than both the X-Men and Spider-Man programs available right now. I'd go for those first before checking out this disc.

The Verdict

Not guilty, yet not exactly worthy of much praise.

Right place. Wrong time.

Opening Statement

Easily this summer highest profile flop, Land of the Lost has had a tough route to DVD. The film is currently sitting on just under $65 million worldwide having been made for closer to $100 million, whilst the critics and vast numbers of the general public scorned it as a lackluster and ridiculously over budgeted slice of Hollywood drivel. Such is the negativity surrounding the picture that Will Ferrell's once unquestionable fan base has been called into question, though it is debatable whether he had the star power to make such an expensive picture a success in the first place. Basically the movie tanked and all associated with it will likely want it to disappear from their professional memories as quickly as possible.

However, I on the other hand really rather liked it.

Facts of the Case

Based on the 1970's TV show of the same name, Land of the Lost tells the story of Dr. Rick Marshall (Will Ferrell, Step Brothers) a disgraced scientist who three years ago was laughed out of the intellectual community due to his unorthodox ideas surrounding time warps. Now working as a part time school teacher, Marshall is cajoled into giving his theories one last shot by Holly (Anna Friel, Pushing Daisies), who believes Marshall's ideas surrounding "parallel dimensions" might be correct.

Arriving at an acceptable test area, they encounter Will (Danny McBride, Pineapple Express), a redneck survivalist who offers them his canyon for use in their time travel experiment. The trio is then transported into another dimension, one populated with monkey men, dinosaurs, and a villainous race of lizards knows as the Sleestak. Marshall documents the groups' attempts to return home whilst evading an angry T-Rex nicknamed Grumpy and attempting to stop the Sleestak from traveling back with them to Earth.

The Evidence

I've only seen a few episodes of the original TV series (I'm a little on the young side) and so the only link I had with Land of the Lost circa 2009 was my admiration for Will Ferrell. I'm a self professed fan of the man and leaving aside a few of his works (Semi-Pro anyone?), I have pretty much enjoyed the vast majority of his 21st century output. I'd say from the outset that those with a disliking of Ferrell had better move on, nothing I can do or say here will allow you to enjoy the movie if you hate its star. Ferrell's fingerprints are all over Land of the Lost and so a tolerance of him is at least required if you're to mine any fun out of this venture, since there is simply too much Ferrell on hand here for you to work around. It's also worth noting at the get go that whilst several facets of the TV show have remained and some of the cheesy effects been embraced, this is a pretty different beast from its predecessor. Adventure still remains the dish of the day but the whole character dynamic has been shifted and the humor takes a far more risqué path with Ferrell and Danny McBride onboard.

If you're still reading I'll consider you interested, the idea of deviating from the source or Will Ferrell's presence clearly hasn't revolted you to the point of abandonment. Well you're in luck because by letting those things slide, it's easy to have a good time with this movie. Land of the Lost is a fantastically wacky adventure with a hearty offering of laughs and colorful set creation, the movie looks and acts like the wet dream of an explorer on meth. The film starts silly and keeps on chugging with the same unapologetically goofy tone, finding a nice balance between comedy and action in the process. Nothing about Land of the Lost is going to radicalize either of those genres but it's a solid example of when the two combine and the results end up as a perfectly decent time at the movies.

Will Ferrell is in his element as Rick Marshall, it may just be Ron Burgundy without the wig, but the arrogant buffoonery and improvisation still hit the spot. Together Ferrell, Friel, and McBride make a tasty comedic team, sparking off each other beautifully and letting the silly dialogue rip between them with energetic spunk. Friel and McBride are no further outside their comfort zones than Ferrell, but each plays strongly to their strengths, ensuring the three actors are doing what they like to do best. One can't help but feel that this empowers the movie and keeps the performers in a state of ease that allows them to seek out laughs elsewhere and frees up their minds for some indecently irreverent and occasionally hysterical improvisation. Jorma Taccone is given the part of Chaka, the group's chimp-like guide through the parallel universe, but is commended only for not annoying the audience excessively.

The screenplay features some fine jokes and very much creates an anarchic and crazed atmosphere, throwing the characters from set piece to set piece with only a slight nod to the concept of plot. Many of the best laughs come courtesy of Ferrell's and McBride's whiplash way with a punch line and utterly unpredictable comedic sensibilities, though in fairness to the writers, several of the big CGI-fuelled moments also solicit chuckles. Nearly every encounter with the angry T-Rex is good for a few titters whilst a sequence involving a volcano, Pterodactyls, and a show tune is borderline brilliant. A complaint has to be made of the movie's comedic balance, at times it's all very innocent and loony, on others the movie jumps into seemingly more mature subject matter. Whilst these more adult jokes aren't unfunny, they do seem a little awkwardly placed alongside the more universally suitable material, meaning parents might want to be careful about showing it to very young kids. I doubt the average seven year old is going to latch onto gags sourced from masturbation and vibrating structures yet more visual jokes such as Chaka's constant fondling of Holly's breasts might leave a more obvious impression.

The aesthetics of the movie are beautifully realized, capturing the groovy vibe given off by the 70's original whilst also incorporating in some very neat CGI effects. The dinosaurs and landscapes are particularly cool to look at, only on a very few select moments do the digitals leave anything to be desired. The $100 million budget is clearly spread over the expansive sets and lavish CGI because nearly everything else retains a cute and retro charm. Those with an affinity for the original series will probably feel repaid for other artistic liberties taken with the project on the grounds of the rubbery Sleestak costumes alone. Director Brad Silberling has housed his career alongside big spectacle-driven event movies like Casper and A Series of Unfortunate Events, as a result he seems comfortable in the realms of the tech heavy filmmaking from which Land of the Lost stems.

The film looks and sounds sharp on DVD and comes complete with a handful of funky extra content. The most substantial feature is a peppy commentary with Silberling who makes for a thorough and engaging host, displaying an enthusiasm for the project from start to finish. He discusses several of the key deviations from the TV show and seems on the whole to have had a good time making this film. Only three deleted scenes are included which was a little disappointing given that to receive a PG-13 rating the movie had to make several cuts. All of the snippets are amusing but they aren't any raunchier or risqué than anything in the movie which makes me suspect these aren't the offending sequences that nearly landed the enterprise an R rating. Two short comedy based featurettes are also included, one in which McBride provides a silly guided tour around the set and another which is shot as a commercial for McBride's trashy trailer park ride from the movie. Combined they run for around 16 minutes and throw up a few laughs but ultimately feel a little like filler. Whilst it's clear more bonus material and a longer cut of the feature exist somewhere, given the box-office failure I doubt we'll be seeing another release anytime soon. As a result fans might as well go out and pick-up this version.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

As much as I had a fun time with Land of the Lost, the movie undeniably has faults. The most prominent of these problems is the final 20 minutes, the movie slackens up, and it would appear the script runs out of creative steam. Land of the Lost ends on more of whimper than a bang, albeit the very last joke is amongst the best. It's a pretty threadbare story anyway but the ending seems particularly stretched and messy, Silberling almost certainly would have been better to wrap it up earlier and leave some of the padding aside. The movie is also relentlessly immature, a fact I had no great problem with, but I know others very well might. Still I've already discussed the whole Will Ferrell thing so you should know by now if he's in it; don't expect too much highbrow humor.

Closing Statement

I realize many people hated it, but I genuinely enjoyed Land of the Lost. It has its flaws and panders exclusively to one sort of comic sensibility, but as a popcorn movie, it left me entertained and cheerful. It's really quite a pity the movie did poorly financially as I would really like to see more of this sort of wacky blockbuster. For fans of Ferrell it's a no brainer of a recommendation, but even for those willing to pass on the critical beating and make up their own minds, I think you'd be wise to at least give this film a rental.

The Verdict

Matt Lauer can suck it, because Land of the Lost is not guilty.

What you don't see will kill you.

Opening Statement

I like the first two Wrong Turn films for entirely different reasons. Obviously, Fox is looking to milk the franchise, but have the deranged hillbillies hit their peak already?

Facts of the Case

We're still in West Virginia, and somewhere in the woods lurks Three Finger, the cannibalistic, inbred redneck who likes shooting arrows into bare-breasted women and cackling like a Gremlin. Little does he know, his stomping grounds are about to get hijacked when a prison bus full of killers sails off the road, spilling its pissed-off goons into the forest.

From then on, it's a hunting spree, as Three Finger systematically wipes out each guy in increasingly stupid ways. Can the heroic prison guard get himself, the attractive girl he found running terrified in the woods and the prisoners he's formed a tenuous alliance with to emerge from the backwoods with their heads still attached?

The Evidence

I enjoyed the first Wrong Turn more than I expected. What I had initially thought would be a generic slasher set in the woods with malevolent hillbillies playing the part of the killers turned out to be, well, exactly that, but it was well-placed, nicely-staged exercise in survival horror. I had even lower expectations for the sequel, because you know how straight-to-DVD horror sequels are, but, again, pleasantly surprised; Wrong Turn 2: Dead End ditched the straight-arrow suspense horror and fully embraced tongue-in-cheek splatter and it worked. Now here's Wrong Turn 3: Left for Dead, which attempts to meld both approaches from its predecessors and it fails in a big way.

As a horror outing that takes itself seriously, it just doesn't have the thrills to compete. The premise of a bus full of violent convicts versus the hillbillies sounds good. You've got genuine bad guys taking on genuine bad guys where collateral damage and blood spillage means everyone wins. Alas, that's not how thing plays out. There's just Three Finger (and his son, briefly), taking out characters one at a time. Tension is generated only by the question of what manner these dudes will be dispatched. That's not enough to properly build a suspense horror flick on, and the result is a very non-scary slasher flick.

Which leaves you with the quality of the kills. While there's some creativity in the methods of death, the filmmakers decide to overload their gags with CGI gore, a strategy that pisses me off as I see it used more frequently in low-budget horror films. I'm sure this avenue is dictated by a cost-savings measure, but fellas, trust me when I say this: it doesn't work. There's a scene where a guy has his face sliced off -- all CGI. Another dude is cut into thirds -- all CGI. And the worst offender is the tow-truck dragging death of a convict wrapped in barbed wire; the effects in Flash Gordon are more believable. If gore is where you hope to make your name, divert some cash into the practical props line item. The difference in quality is noticeable.

Finally, a note on this Three Finger guy. The killbillies were truly fearsome in the first film and excellent cannon fodder in the second, but now, this dude is just another cartoonish, indestructible one-dimensional fabrication who laughs and squeals. The convict storyline would have been so much better if it were all out war between the felons and a group of hillbillies.

The Blu-ry is a blessing and a curse. The noticeably enhanced resolution certainly makes this edition of Wrong Turn 3 the one to get, but the clarity bump also amplifies that crap CGI work. Wait until you see the big finale set on a moving truck. Acch. One of the best-looking points of Blu-rays of the series has been the woodsy setting, which looks really nice in high-def. The majority of the action here happens at night, so we're denied premium foliage viewing. Still, it's a nice-looking transfer. The 5.1 DTS-HD Master Audio does its job well, though the score isn't memorable. The assorted aural mayhem is pumped out of the surrounds cleanly and loudly. Extras: a longish standard-def making-of featurette and deleted scenes.

Closing Statement

Three Finger has officially overstayed his welcome.

The Verdict

Guilty. Try dating outside of the family next time.