It came from another Galaxy.

The Case

I'm no expert in 1950's science fiction hokum, but I've seen enough to understand the intent and purpose of Alien Trespass. Designed as a campy throwback to the B movies of old, Alien Trespass is a lovingly constructed piece of light parody. However, unlike recent spoofing disasters such as Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans, this film has a deep-rooted love of its subject at the heart of its mockery, celebrating rather than bemoaning the sci-fi Saturday morning matinees of the era.

Set in small town USA and populated with every personality cliché in the book, it's safe to say that the story involving a rogue monster isn't the real point of Alien Trespass. The film is all about the cheesy effects, questionable acting, eerie music, and of course oodles of slime and goo. The central conceit sees an alien ship crash on Earth, unleashing a nasty creature named Ghota, and a noble E.T. trying to capture and tame the vicious escapee. The alien hero decides to use the body of local Ted Lewis (Eric McCormick, Will and Grace) in order to maneuver around unnoticed, but it's hard to stay undetected as the murderous Ghota cuts a villainous rampage through the local town.

It's unlikely that viewers will remember Alien Trespass the morning after they watch it, but during its lean and efficient runtime I can see a lot of folks getting a kick out of this one. The movie was only afforded a meager run on festival circuits earlier this year, a pity as it could certainly cook up a following with its affectionate recount of rubbishy invasion flicks. I suppose part of the reason I'm a little underexposed to the sort of trashy efforts Alien Trespass pays homage to is because I'm a generation (or three) too young; however, I realize many a person had a childhood fuelled by these bargain budget escapades and for them Alien Trespass might attract a pang of fuzzy and warm nostalgia.

The actors deserve credit for playing solidly to the performing standards of the 1950s and for approaching the project with the required tongue in cheek attitude. Eric McCormick is highly amusing as both the hunky nerd and inanimate extra terrestrial hero whilst the like of Dan Lauria (The Spirit) and Jody Thompson (Shanghai Noon) hand in delightfully zealous and over the top performances. Thompson in particular deserves serious kudos for her smart and perfectly weighted turn as McCormick's bemused wife, completely bewildered by her husband's transformation. At times I felt that Jenni Baird (4400) approached her role as a small town girl with big dreams a little too sincerely, but it's an easily forgiven nit to pick amidst all the fun.

The effects are deliberately cheap and plastic looking whilst the plot is filled with so many intentional inconsistencies and scientific errors that one can't help but chuckle. I realize this isn't a perfect film and the galactic menace never even approaches scary, but I couldn't help finding Alien Trespass a minor and fairly credible prescription of fun. Some viewers will entirely miss the point and assume that Alien Trespass with it's cheap and cheerful setting is taking itself seriously, thus balking and lambasting the picture as a silly bore. Make sure you correct said persons by informing them this is designed as a lightly mocking tribute to the ultra awful science fiction of old and not an attempt to revive the style. It doesn't make the film perfect but in that knowledge your viewing experience should amass to minor joy.

The DVD provided was a screener featuring no extras and providing audio and video of a decidedly patchy nature. Seeing as this may not necessarily represent final product I'll leave such technical elements unrated.

The Verdict

Not Guilty. However, the court warns not to get cozy with girls when an alien menace is on the loose.

It's open season on Goth kids.

The Case

What do you get when you combine a bunch of fetishists, musicians, and artists, a tiny sum of cash, and a camera?

If you guessed a cruddy movie, you win the pony.

Nicholas Dread (stage performer Flambeaux, the God of Fire), a monk during the Inquisition, rebels against the church's policy of witch-burning. For his trouble, he gets burned at the stake. Upon his arrival in Hell, he makes a deal with Satan. He will get his own kingdom of ten thousand souls to rule for eternity if he collects them himself. Sent back to modern day Earth, can you guess his choice of souls? If you said Goth kids, now you have two ponies coming your way (I hope you have room).

It's pretty clear that Gothkill has more than a few logic issues, but let's just focus on a couple. This monk is against the evil practice of witch persecution. He clearly states that he doesn't believe the women perform magic and wants his church to stop it. If this is a good thing, how does this get him sent to Hell? Does God, somehow, condone the practice? That's an odd thing for the filmmakers to say. In any case, in Hell, he makes this deal with the devil that just doesn't seem balanced, and not in the way you might think. The monk has eternity to complete the job and there really isn't any consequence for failure. The guy isn't even in Hell for Satan to torment in the meantime, so I'm really confused about what the dark lord gets out of this.

Maybe I'm nitpicking the plot of a movie that isn't very concerned with continuity or performance and just wants to be a silly horror-comedy. Hey, everybody looks like they're having a great time, so more power to them for making it, but it's still terrible. The performers are an eclectic collection of New York musicians and artists including heavy metal video countdown diva Mistress Juliya, musician Eve Blackwater, and Flambeaux. They're totally comfortable running around acting silly and director JJ Connelly is more than willing to let them.

MVD, under the sub-label Wild Eye DVD, has done a decent job with their release of Gothkill. For such a cheap film, the image looks surprisingly good. The digital picture looks as clean as it ever will. Sound, too, is equally clear, with some noticeable separation in all channels. The extras on the disc are standard fare. A commentary is done as picture-in-picture video on screen with Blackwater, Flambeaux, and Connelly. It doesn't have much point, but you can see them enjoying watching each other make fools of themselves. An interview with the director, a still gallery, and some live performance footage round out the disc.

With little experience on either side of the camera, the jokes come off badly and the gore looks cheap. There's a little sex if that's what you're looking for, however, and fans of these artists will get a kick out of seeing them in the movie, so there is some value there. Otherwise, there is little going on with Gothkill.

The Verdict

Guilty, now send them to Hell...and no kingdoms this time.

Love is hell.

The Case

Outlaw lovers Billy (Christian Kane, Angel) and Betty (Rachel Miner, The Black Dahlia) have robbed, assaulted, and shot people to death, ransacked a diner, and squared off with an entire detachment of cops. But nothing can stand in the way of their love, even prison. While getting carted off to jail where he'll be locked up forever, Billy is miraculously freed and reunited with Betty.

But something's up. There's a sinister presence tracking the lovebirds, and Billy's beloved sister has been dragged into the weirdness. Who is it that's creeping everybody out, slinking around, stringing up blindfolded girls and emotionally assaulting them? The truth will maybe surprise you...if, like me, you were slipping in and out of consciousness.

That might have been a bit of a cheap shot, because, really, Hide isn't all that bad. I'm a big fan of Christian Kane, so it's good to see him get more work. Plus, the final reveal is genuinely cool, and that last scene is memorable. It's the fluff in the middle that holds the whole enterprise down.

The criminals-in-love schtick is laid on real thick, slathered with deep-fried dialogue that's heavy on the accents and amorphous verbiage about how "your past will come back to haunt you," and light on anything of substance. This is how corny it gets: Christian Kane takes a moment to sit down and talk to a dog, admiring him for how much of a fighter he is. Whatever.

The ending almost salvaged the experience, as the film went real dark, real fast. Like, horror movie dark. The body count in the beginning wasn't a foppish comic romp by any means, but the tonal shift between that first scene and the final fifteen minutes is stark. Too little too late, methinks.

Not much happening technically: an adequate 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, 2.0 stereo, and just the trailer in extras bin.

The Verdict

Guilty. No thanks.

Bodies buried for eternity...until now.

Opening Statement

Shockingly, the movie makes even less sense than its tagline.

Facts of the Case

So you've got this bog and it's a hotbed for mummified body dumps. This evidently blows the skirt up of a researcher, who drags an attractive young lady with him to go check out this exciting swamp. They meet up with some other folks in an abandoned old cabin, including an eccentric hunter (Vinnie Jones) who's got a hard-on for slaughtering supernatural bog mummies. That's right, these corpses have the potential to pop up from their soupy graves, and one such miraculously reanimated body is now running amok.

The Evidence

I don't think anyone knows what kind of movie Legend of the Bog is supposed to be...including the writers and executive producers.

Is it a horror movie? A comedy? A message film about the nation's lack of proper care for mentally retarded bog people?

I have no idea and, frankly, the movie fails in each category. Let's break it down.

If Legend of the Bog were a horror film...
There is very little gore here and when the blood foes fly it's almost cartoonish. Vinnie Jones, impaled on a tree, finding just enough strength to launch one final attack on Bog Sloth? High-larious! Since the only source of terror is this bog man and he's essentially little more than a doofus in burlap pants, consider yourself more confused and partially sympathetic to the guy's swamp adventures than horrified. Fail.

If Legend of the Bog were a comedy...
This is where the viewing becomes a confounding experience. Like the slapstick sequence where Bog Man enters a convenience store and just makes a huge mess! The tone nearly shifts into Benny Hill mode! Weird. And fail.

If Legend of the Bog were a message film about the nation's lack of proper care for mentally retarded bog people...
It would quickly get itself a protest from the Mentally Challenged Bog Person advocacy group. Fail.

One of the biggest losers in this enterprise is Vinnie Jones. Largely wasted here, his character is relegated to babysitting duties and thankless exposition.

The other big loser? You!

Lionsgate's no-frills DVD features a serviceable 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer, a 5.1 surround mix, and zero extras.

Closing Statement

Legend of the Bog suffers from multiple personality disorder...and all the personalities are losers.

The Verdict

Guilty. Bog off!

Melvin will teach you that getting picked on at school can be a real killer.

The Case

Straight out of Oregon, from the little film outfit 531 Productions, comes their debut feature, a little slasher/zombie/chost/splatter effort that brings to life the long-time nerd fantasy of exerting violent revenge on high school bullies.

Melvin is a deceased nerd who received much abuse at the hands of the Cool Kids, and tragically died as a result of that trauma. Years later, we meet a college student named Norton Pincus, a popular lacrosse player who volunteers to build orphanages in Zambia. Nah, just kidding. He's a humongous nerd, too, and Melvin, back from the dead, decides to possess him and go kill a bunch of fools. That's your movie. Melvin/Norton go about engaging in all manner of grotesque murders, systematically wiping out the clowns who were so mean back in high school.

You know, it's ironic this movie is called Melvin. If I remember my Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey correctly, the "Melvin" is a frontal wedgie, an accurate metaphor for this viewing experience. It's kind of painfully good fun. There are some laughs to be had, but you're just going to end up with a sore crotch. Well, maybe not that last part. The comparison got away from me.

I like the humor and the gore, and the guys behind the film have an obvious, abiding respect for the splatter-comedy genre. Alas, this doesn't prevent the end result from being an incoherent, disjointed mess. For example, there are a couple of extended sequences from a previous undeveloped movie -- featuring a cameo from Troma's Lloyd Kaufman -- which go on way too long and pretty much nuke the film's momentum.

The best thing going for Melvin is the slapstick gore. The gag effects might be Z-grade and borderline cheesy (fine, extremely cheesy), but it's obvious these folks blew a decent budgetary line item to purchases fake heads and stuff. The tail end of the film, while mired in a complete plot breakdown, is an enjoyable orgy of low-rent practical gore effects. If only the film itself had a bit more punch.

The DVD is okay, coming in with a 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen and 2.0 stereo, both serviceable. Extras: director's commentary, a making-of featurette (heavy on the candid footage), music videos, image gallery, and the short film Depraved.

The Verdict

I appreciate the effort and some parts were big fun, but guilty is guilty.

"Push the button, Frank"

Opening Statement

With its third MST3K set in less than a year, Shout! Factory gives fans a reason to cheer the release of Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XV, a solid and surprisingly well-balanced collection of episodes from the cult classic show.

This set has two Joel episodes, two Mike episodes, two Tom Servos, two shorts, and two mad scientist sidekicks. Best of all for old-timers like me, the episodes on MST3K: XV are all from the Comedy Central years. With the exception of the set's lone first season entry (before the gang found their gag-spewing rhythm), this might be the series' funniest collection yet.

Facts of the Case

Four episodes on four discs, each in a slimline case with Steve Vance movie poster cover art:

Episode 102: The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
One of the earliest Comedy Central (then Comedy Channel) episodes, Aztec Mummy tells the convoluted story of a Mexican doctor who hypnotizes his wife and discovers that she was an Aztec princess in a past life. Her recollections lead them to a secret burial chamber containing a valuable gold breastplate and bracelet. The doctor removes the treasure, awakening the mummy of an Aztec warrior charged with protecting it. The titular robot shows up at the end of the movie, created by an evil scientist/mobster who wants the treasure for himself. The feature is preceded by part one of the ridiculous sci-fi serial Commando Cody and the Moon Men, and the host segments follow the crew's attempts to remove a pack of demon dogs from the Satellite of Love's hull.

Episode 509: The Girl In Lovers Lane
Joel and the 'bots tackle this moody teen drama about a drifter-in-training named Danny who falls in with a handsome rail rider named Bix Dugan (aka. "Big Stupid"). The pair roll into a small town where Dugan falls for a waitress named Carrie. But will his troubled childhood keep Bix from letting himself get too close? A lame movie with an ending so bad the crew uses the last host segment to come up with a better one.

Episode 604: Zombie Nightmare
This '80s horror stinker co-stars Adam West as a sleazy police chief and Tia Carrere as one of a group of no-good teens being hunted by a local beefcake-turned-zombie they ran over with a car. The zombie is played by the awesomely named Jon Mikl Thor, who composed much of the film's music with his band "Thorkestra." A true classic from the show's penultimate season on Comedy Central.

Episode 616: Racket Girls
This movie was first released under the title "Blonde Pickup," referring to the empty-headed, large-chested Peaches Page, a woman wrestler who tries to further her career by going to work for a two-bit promoter/bookie named Scally. After a lengthy mid-movie interlude featuring an unedited wrestling match between real-life wrestlers Clare Mortensen and Rita Martinez, the scummy Scally and his stereotypical Italian sidekick run afoul of a local mobster. The movie's real crime, though, is making scantily clad women rolling around on the floor together completely unsexy.

The Evidence

Buying Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes on DVD has always been a crap shoot. Considering the complicated, often expensive, rights issues involved with clearing episodes for release, fans have had to pretty much take what they could get. So much so at times, that it feels like what makes it onto DVD is determined more by availability than quality.

So far, Shout! Factory has done a nice job clearing good episodes for their MST3K sets. Sure, there's a list a mile long of fan favorites yet to be released -- some of which may never be released (darn Sandy Frank!) -- but MST3K: XV is a solid indication that Shout! Factory is committed to doing as much as they can with the movies they're able to get.

Of the four episodes on XV, The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy is by far the weakest. Not only is Aztec Mummy one of the earliest non-KTMA episodes, it's also supposedly the only one the MST3K gang asked Comedy Central to let them stop working on. The network refused and they finished the episode, but the trauma of this dubbed Mexican stinkbomb lingered for years to come. Compared to later episodes, the first season seems timid. The jokes aren't as funny and they don't fly as fast. Also, as much as I like what J. Elvis Weinstein is doing on Cinematic Titanic these days, his take on Tom Servo doesn't hold a candle to the plucky blowhard he became under Kevin Murphy; nor is his Dr. Ehrhardt as memorable a Deep 13 sidekick as TV's Frank. Still, as a slice of the show's history, Aztec Mummy is worth watching.

I know a lot of fans are excited about Zombie Nightmare (more on that in a minute), but the real joy of this set for me is The Girl In Lovers Lane. I used to record new MST3K episodes so I could rewatch them later, and this one made it into heavy rotation on my VCR. From the renaming of the movie's sullen star as "Big Stupid," to the recurring joke of adding "she's so very" every time waitress Carrie is mentioned, this is a killer episode and a great showcase for original host Joel Robinson (who left the show three episodes later).

Zombie Nightmare debuted as the final episode of Comedy Central's annual MST3K Turkey Day marathon, in 1994. It was good enough to cap off 30 straight hours of bad movie comedy then, and it's almost reason alone to buy this set now. Heavy metal soundtrack! Bland hoodlums! An unintelligible voodoo priestess! Adam West as a jerky police chief! The juxtaposition of horror movie and mid-'80s Canada! A guy named Jon Mikl Thor! This is a true classic from the early Mike years. It's also closer in feel to the SciFi Channel years, which should satisfy the 10 or so people who are upset by XV's lack of latter season episodes.

Wrapping up the set is the women's wrestling movie Racket Girls. There's a loose story about a bookie who gets in over his head with a local mobster, but much of Racket Girls is dedicated to extended sequences of women wrestling. There's a seemingly unedited match between real-life wrestlers Mortensen and Martinez, whose only contributions to the plot are two short scenes where each woman refuses to throw the match. It's a painful movie to watch, but Mike and the 'bots do the best they can with it. While not quite up there with Lovers Lane or Zombie Nightmare, the episode has plenty of great one-liners, and begins with the fan-favorite short Are You Ready for Marriage? -- which inspires a running bit in the host segments about Crow and Tom wanting to get married.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XV has three real extras and one promo trailer, one each on the discs. If you thought The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy was a blast from the past, wait 'til you see "Glimpses of KTMA: MST3K Scrapbook Scraps I," a 15-minute montage of host segments from the show's inaugural season on the Minnesota UHF station. There's no footage from the actual movies, but extras like this show how serious Shout! Factory is about pleasing fans. The second disc features "Behind the Scenes: MST3K Scrapbook Scraps II," an 8-minute collection of leftover footage from the 1992 documentary "This is MST3K." The snippets show the group writing and filming the classic Santa Claus Conquers the Martians episode. Fun stuff, if a little short. The last real extra is called "Zombie Nightmare = MST3K Dream," a collection of modern-day interviews with Nightmare actors Frank Dietz and Jon Mikl Thor about what it was like to watch their movie get skewered by the show, and their experiences since achieving MST3K infamy. To both of their credits, Dietz and Thor (which would be an awesome band name, by the way) have a good sense of humor about the whole thing, and use their time wisely to slip in plugs for current projects. The final "extra" is a preview of the independent film Hamlet A.D.D., a cool-looking reimagining of the classic. The included scene features the voice talents of Trace Beaulieu and Kevin Murphy as animated robots in the short film Hamlet shows to "catch the conscience" of his uncle. Besides featuring Beaulieu and Murphy, it has nothing to do with MST3K. Like the past couple of sets, this one also comes with four mini-posters of the Steve Vance cover art.

Audio-video presentation on this set is consistent with past releases. The TV stuff looks and sounds like it did when it aired, and the movies range from awful to terrible. Minor bit of good news for those who own the previous Shout! Factory releases: XV is the first one to add much-requested chapter stops (at host segments and commercial breaks). The studio has also promised them for all new volumes going forward.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

I can think of only two possible fan complaints about this set: Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy could have been replaced with a funnier later-season entry; and there are no SciFi channel episodes. If either of those things bother you, don't expect much sympathy from me. I think 3 out of 4 solid episodes is a good ratio for these collections, and I've always preferred the Comedy Central years.

Closing Statement

Shout! Factory has done plenty in the past year to assure fans that Mystery Science Theater 3000 is in the right hands, and Volume XV is no exception. Three great (and one decent) episodes, two shorts, and equal time for both Joel and Mike make this a set every longtime fan should want.

The Verdict

Not Guilty! Bring on sweet sixteen!

The next stop may be your last.

Opening Statement

Meeting people on the train can be an exhilarating, mysterious experience. The feeling is much different than on a plane; there's room to move around, a sense of freedom you can't have on a 727 with ol' Snorey sawing away next to you. You sit across from somebody and start talking. In no time, it seems like you've gotten to know them, but you may not even know their real name. Trains are big enough to carry plenty of secrets and they're a ripe setting for movie thrillers. Unfortunately, all that built-in intrigue does not always add up to a very good film.

Facts of the Case

An aging train conductor who is just too old for this sh-t (Danny Glover, Lethal Weapon), a med-student with her nose permanently in a book (Leelee Sobieski, In a Dark Place), and a travelling salesman in a cheap suit (Steve Zahn, Rescue Dawn) together find a dead body on the train late one night. Ordinarily, the conductor would just call the police, but this corpse is carrying something: a box filled with jewels that will not open. Instead, they try to break into it and will stop at nothing to get at what's inside.

The Evidence

Night Train is a good example of a film whose writer has lofty ambitions, but not the ability to pull them off. The story begins in standard thriller fashion, with plenty of Hitchockian overtones, and quickly takes on aspects of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre after they find the box. The opening half moves right along and, while nothing here that screams out the makings of a great film, there is certainly some promise for the second half. Instead of keeping his film simple and straightforward, serving both his budget and ability, writer/director M. Brian King decides to jump head-first off the deep end.

At a point about midway through the film, another character shows up looking for the dead man, thinking he's still alive. He wants the box, too, but not what's inside; he wants to destroy it. This doesn't sit too well with our friends, obviously, but what he tells them sits even worse. He brings the supernatural into the picture, revealing that the people don't see what they think they see. There's no previous indication of this and , out of the blue, we learn that where Zahn sees rubies, Glover sees diamonds and Sobieski sees something more intangible, something unexplained. My guess is King couldn't figure out what he wanted, and so left it blank. Its exclusion makes the revelation seem only half thought out and makes Sobieski's motivations murky, at best. Once they learn about the supernatural properties of the box, the film spins wildly out of control to its senseless, hole-riddled ending.

There's nothing special in the performances to help the story out, either. Danny Glover seems to have one role at this point in his career. No matter what, life has beaten him down and he's just about to retire. After Steve Zahn's superior performance in Rescue Dawn, I hoped that he had left behind the dopey loser he became known for. But no, he's pretty dopey. Leelee Sobieski, much as I like her, can tend toward the wooden in her performances and this is at its most pronounced here. She looks great with a meat cleaver in her hand, but if this is the best I can say, we aren't working with too much here. Some side characters inject a little quirky comic relief, but not nearly enough to make a real difference.

NEM's Blu-ray release of Night Train is mixed, performing somewhat better than the standard definition will, but it's unclear how much; the technical aspects certainly didn't blow me out of the water. The 1080i transfer looks solid most of the time during the interior shots of the train, where the colors are vibrant and the details are clear. The film looks considerably worse during the exterior scenes, however. These are all set at night and the shots of the train in motion are CGI. All of this, especially the CG effects, look very murky with the occasional bit of blocking. In Hi-def, the low budget effects look even more obvious with the added clarity, and it really makes me wonder if the SD version is going to look bad. The DTS HD 5.1 Master Audio mix fares quite a bit better. The train is loud and realistic sounding, with good separation; I did feel, at times, like I was on the train. The Dolby Digital 5.1 audio doesn't have quite the same power, but it is still pretty good. The extras are our standard fare. A making-of featurette explains the same thing we always get in these pieces: everybody's so proud of the film, they all worked so hard, they love the results, yadda yadda yadda. Interviews with the cast and crew do more of the same and an image gallery and a trailer round us out.

Closing Statement

I like trains. I like riding them, I like the sound they make, and I like movies about them. I don't like a half-written story that blindly charges ahead when things make less and less sense every second, even if it's about trains.

The Verdict

Guilty. Choo choo.

It's a feeding frenzy!

The Case

Poor fisherman Will. He and his crew just haven't been catching 'em lately. He's behind in his bills, and bad weather portends tougher days ahead. In addition, his nubile teenage daughter, Carly, is secretly sharing her increasingly less-wholesome charms with Danny, one of Will's sea men. Like this isn't bad enough, Will's crew is suddenly being eaten by a Sea Beast. What's a guy to do?

Well, Will (Corin Nemec, Parker Lewis Can't Lose) teams up with sexy and conveniently visiting marine biologist Arden (Camille Sullivan, The Butterfly Effect) and town drunk Ben (Brent Stait, Andromeda) -- who became a drunkard after encountering this self-same sea creature. Off they go to try to stop this unstoppable menace.

A couple of important things they don't know: Carly and Danny have snuck off to an island retreat for a little alone time -- an island retreat that's the favorite dining spot of The Beast! Worse, the Sea Beast is a She Beast -- and she's a mom, with a growing and hungry brood!

As dozens of plump, mouth-watering extras are gobbled up -- leaving this fisherman's village a blood-stained ghost town -- the odds of surviving this attack of Demons-from-Davy-Jones'-Locker grow ever slimmer. Will Will join his neighbors as a monster McNugget? Will Arden find a way to show off her smokin' bod in the midst of this apocalypse? Will Danny find a bunch of snarling and ravenous baby creatures more damaging to his love life than his girlfriend's irate dad?

Sea Beast was a Sci-Fi Channel original movie and inexplicably entitled Troglodyte. Like virtually all Sci-Fi Channel movies, it is shoddy and ridiculous. Unlike many, it is also hella fun. This is a throwback to the monster movies of yore, complete with half-baked scientific explanations, imperiled young lovers, lucky-guess solutions -- and some of the most silly-scary scaly green monsters since Toho stopped churning out Gojira movies.

The big mama beast starts out as a hologram, which is later explained as having the ability to camouflage itself, like any good predator. Eventually, we see a frightening thing with lots of teeth. It shoots paralyzing slime at unsuspecting fisherfolk, before devouring them. Occasionally, we see things from the beast's point-of-view; these Beast-o-Vision scenes are entertaining because the monster's eyesight is all colorful and distorted, like an acid trip in an old AIP movie. The babies look like something Ray Harryhausen might have created for his middle school science project, more dinosaur than sea creature. They move in that otherworldly spasmodic way that stop-motion creatures move.

The film runs through all the conventions -- mysterious deaths, baffled townsfolk, misguided hunting party -- and then, around the half-way point, something strange happens: It gets kinda scary. Not memorably scary or classically scary or tell-all-your-friends scary, but scarier than you'd expect from a made-for-TV genre flick (for the Sci-Fi Channel, yet!). Writer/Director Paul Ziller throws just enough curve balls into the mix to keep us off-kilter. While we know the bit players are merely soon-to-be Sea Beast backwash, harm comes to a few oddly significant characters as well. The whole idea of being trapped in a confined space while dozens of hungry beasts maraud nearby plays out with far more tension than I thought it would.

And this thing is bloody. Yes, it's PG-13 bloody -- or TV-M, I guess -- but there are a number of moments that fell far outside what I would have expected to see on the usually benign Sci-Fi Channel. Much of what we see is aftermath, but it's pretty gruesome (I was waiting for Omaha Steaks to be credited for special effects), and one kill is actually shockingly graphic.

The actors are fine if a bit low-key. This film misses its chance at big fun, by being just a tad too somber. There are no over-the-top crazies here. Even the drunkard cleans up his act quickly, and a nominal bad guy doesn't make much of an impression.

I was interested in knowing a little about the genesis of the monsters -- they look kinda crappy for straight-on CGI, which only adds to their charm -- but this is a bare bones release, so that usually disposable extra in which the f/x people tell you how they made what you just saw isn't here. Nothing is here, as a matter-of-fact, just a few previews. It's a little startling that no one asked Corin Nemec and Paul Ziller to do a commentary, but they didn't. As for the tech, it looks like a low-budget TV movie. The 5.1 audio track is pretty strong, though.

Old-school grue and monsters too. Sea Beast is a fun little treat, certainly worth a rental.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

They shouldn't have put him in the water, if they didn't want him to make waves.

The Case

In all likelihood, writer-director Rowdy Herrington is destined to be remembered as the man who gave us the stupendously awesome badness that is Road House (the Lawrence of Arabia of white trash honky-tonk flicks). He certainly won't be remembered for Striking Distance. Made four years after his epic paean to the art of bouncing, it is arguably Herrington's most bizarre effort. The flick's low-rent, slipshod TV cop show vibe meshes with its stellar cast to create a brain-melting fit of cognitive dissonance in anyone brave enough to give it a spin. If you think you couldn't possibly spend an uninterrupted 102 minutes pondering with focused intensity how these actors ended up in this movie, then you need to check out Striking Distance.

The movie tells the story of an obsessive, borderline alcoholic rogue cop named Tom Hardy (Bruce Willis, Die Hard). In order to establish from the outset that he'll be working in the broadest stereotypes imaginable, Herrington makes Hardy a Pittsburgh homicide detective from an entire family of cops, half of whom are Irish while the other half are Italian. Hardy's deeply ingrained sense of honor makes life miserable for him when he agrees to testify that his partner (and cousin) Jimmy Detillo (Robert Pastorelli, Dances with Wolves) abused a suspect in the Polish Hill Strangler serial murder case. The Strangler is eventually caught and convicted, but not before Jimmy commits suicide, his enraged brother Danny (Tom Sizemore, Saving Private Ryan) disappears, and Tom's old man (John Mahoney, Say Anything) is murdered.

Two years later, a laughingstock among Pittsburgh cops, Tom has been re-assigned to the River Patrol. He and his new (female!) partner, Jo Christman (Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and the City: The Movie), spend their days cruising the Three Rivers district, busting boaters for speeding, possession of alcohol, and other minor offenses. Hardy's depressing, alcoholic life becomes even more depressing when the Polish Hill Strangler seemingly returns. The killer targets Tom's former lovers, and then dumps them in the river so Tom will find them. Hardy's insistence that the man in jail for the Polish Hill murders was wrongly convicted falls on the deaf ears of his uncle (and Jimmy and Danny's father), police Captain Nick Detillo (Dennis Farina, Get Shorty). Tom is convinced a cop is behind the murders. He must take matters into his own hands in order to prove he's right, stop the murders, and protect his partner (and lover).

Striking Distance isn't much more than a densely woven tapestry of well-worn cop flick clichés. Tom Hardy is simultaneously a fragile alcoholic with a haunted past and a rogue cop obsessed with finding the killer he's convinced has thwarted justice. He's also a wise-acre who gets in not-so-pithy screaming matches with Detective Eiler (Brion James, Blade Runner), the foul-mouthed personification of the police force's hatred of Hardy for ratting out Jimmy Detillo. Tom's also the son of a cop dad who spewed a steady stream of sage cop wisdom like, "Loyalty above all else, except honor." He's also a wizened veteran who has no patience for a rookie partner who is not only naïve but had the audacity to become a cop even though she has a uterus. Tom Hardy is, in other words, every cop hero from every cop movie ever made, all rolled into one non-descript guy in an ugly blue windbreaker and baseball cap. He's Dirty Harry Callahan minus the tough, Popeye Doyle without the grit, Frank Bullitt without the Mustang, and John McClane without the self-deprecating sense of humor or Euro-trash slaughtering ingenuity.

The movie would be a delightfully convoluted mystery, if it wasn't fundamentally undermined by a third act plot twist any observant viewer would spot in the flick's first reel, a stilted climax, and a weak villain. Said villain (who will remain nameless here so as not to spoil things for viewers brave enough to give Striking Distance a try) has oddly tall hair, talks a tough game but eventually turns into a simpering weenie reminiscent of Dirty Harry's Scorpio Killer, and dies with the baffled, wide-eyed, almost tearful facial expression of a child who has just had his candy stolen by a bully. Hans Gruber he ain't. The movie ends with what you might consider the most exciting boat chase since From Russia with Love, provided From Russia with Love and Striking Distance are the only two movies with boat chases that you saw between 1963 and 1993. The fact that the villain repeated squeals, "Stop it!" when Hardy bumps his speed boat doesn't help matters. Herrington does his best to transform Hardy into a badass action hero (despite the windbreaker), complete with explosions, underwater villain throttling, and post-victory punnery, but it all rings hollow considering the depressing trauma to which the Hardy-Detillo clan has been subjected. In the final analysis, Hardy is in a no-win situation -- even if he catches the bad guy, he's still a drunk with a messed up family.

Regardless of the flick's hackneyed plot, wooden dialogue, and flat characters, Rowdy Herrington managed to assemble one heck of a cast. How Bruce Willis was roped into this flick post-Die Hard is a complete mystery (though, the fact that he was also post-Hudson Hawk and pre-Pulp Fiction may provide a clue). The rest of the cast is equally amazing, even if most of the actors weren't big names yet. Dennis Farina, Tom Sizemore, and John Mahoney are predictably awesome. Andre Braugher (The Mist), Tom Atkins (The Fog), and Brion James are also on board to add texture to the flick in minor roles. The cast elevates the material, but can't transcend it. For every clunky line of dialog their considerable talent makes believable, there's a howler that completely wrong-foots them. To Dennis Farina's constant quoting of old Italian proverbs, Willis tepidly responds: "There's an old Irish proverb: 'Never listen to old Italian proverbs.'" Badda-bing! A medium shot of Willis, Farina, and Sizemore weeping and wailing on the bridge from which Jimmy hurled himself is so unintentionally funny that I nearly wet myself. The romantic banter between Willis and Sarah Jessica Parker is meant to be sly, but is groan-inducing instead. "We shouldn't be doing this," she says as they're about to, well, do it. "We should be shot," he agrees. "We should shoot each other," she quips. "Too much paperwork," he observes. "Why don't you shoot me?" I interject (and you will, too).

The transfer of Striking Distance on this Blu-ray is unremarkable -- slightly sharper and more detailed than a DVD, but nowhere near as vivid as a great high definition transfer. The color palette is drab with weak black levels. Audio is presented in a Dolby TrueHD 5.1 mix that is underwhelming, but limited only by the source.

There are no extras -- not even a trailer for the film.

Striking Distance is a cinematic sideshow, a curiosity with a head-scratching mismatch between its weak script and uniformly strong cast. Like the movie, the Blu-ray presentation is flat and unsatisfying. Don't waste your time or money on this one.

The Verdict

Guilty as charged.

Hell is for heroes.

Opening Statement

Uwe Boll shifts his attention from video-game-crap inspired filmmaking to Vietnam War inspired filmmaking.

Facts of the Case

Tunnel Rats follows the exploits of a specially-trained American military force in the Vietnam War, tasked with engaging the Vietcong in a maze of tunnels running under the jungle. As far as missions go, this is a pretty sucky one, what with all the tight crawlspaces, darkness, and close-quarter stabbings. But these guys aren't afraid to get all up in there and take it to the North Vietnamese.

Still, it is war and people are going to die. The fragile bonds of friendship the soldiers crafted during their downtime will get torn asunder, when the bullets start flying. There's also lots of war movie clichés!

The Evidence

Let's start off with this right away: This is probably Uwe Boll's best film. Yes, yes that's like saying tapeworms are the most preferable digestive tract parasite, but I don't care who's behind the camera, Tunnel Rats isn't bad.

It's not great either, suffering from some glaring genre conventions that might have been sharp way back when. Dialogue like "Sarge, do you ever get scared out there?" and "War isn't black or white. It's gray." and one of the enlisted guys talking about going home and opening up a burger joint (wonder how he's going to end up after the firefight) doesn't seem fresh. It might be accurate that real GIs likely swapped these lines in between counteroffensives, but on the screen the writing falls flat.

The pacing is also fairly lopsided. The first 50 minutes is dedicated to character development, in an obvious effort to build empathy for these guys when they inevitably meet their grisly end. It's this segment of the film that tends to be overstuffed with the clichés, and while I appreciate Boll's attempts at fleshing out the characters, none of them managed to stand out. This, unfortunately, leads to a disconnect in the violence that eventually does happen, close to the hour mark.

Boll stages the action well and, besides some transparent CGI effects for bullet hits -- which is weird, since there is some fine squib work going on later -- the mayhem works. When the Vietcong attacks (as you know they will), the action is separated into two venues: the jungle and the tunnels. The former features frantic violence from almost anonymous shooters, replicating the "melting into the jungle" aspect of the guerilla campaign. The latter is a surprisingly effective recreation of intimate tunnel warfare. Messing around with cameras in dark, confined spaces obviously runs the risk of having a blurry, indecipherable mess on your hands, especially when there's action to be had, but Boll largely succeeds.

Huh: "Boll largely succeeds." Not often you see those words written in that order.

The DVD is solid. For the tech specs, the 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen is clean and the 5.1 audio aggressive, particularly during the war scenes. Extras: commentary by and an interview with Uwe Boll, deleted scenes, and a making-of featurette.

Closing Statement

It's not a jaw-dropper by any means, but Tunnel Rats is a decent war movie. Don't hate on it just because Uwe Boll made it. Homeboy is certainly responsible for some brutal failures, but this isn't one of them.

The Verdict

Not Guilty. Not kidding.

How government and big business bring ruin to America's infrastructure.

The Case

In the interview included as a bonus feature on this disc, America Betrayed's director, Leslie Cardé attempts to ward off the possible complaints that this film is yet another rehash of the Hurricane Katrina disaster by insisting that it addresses the causes of the disaster rather than its aftermath. She's only partly right. America Betrayed has some interesting revelations and facts, but too much of the film is exactly what it's not supposed to be: a rehash of the Katrina disaster. Cardé has squandered an extremely valuable opportunity to discuss a vitally important issue -- the failing of America's infrastructure through a mixture of corruption and neglect -- by wasting so much time on stories about Katrina's aftermath. There's an interesting story here, but the film only tells it in spurts.

America Betrayed purports to discuss the significance of an obscure but vitally important federal agency: the Army Corps of Engineers. Little-known to most people, they are the agency charged with designing, building and maintaining all federal structures. Federal buildings, dams, levees, canals, and bridges are just some of the structures the ACE is responsible for. What Cardé charges is that even though the ACE is a military division, it has become nothing more than a bloated and corrupt bureaucracy that awards fat no-bid contracts, ignores sloppy work, and punishes whistleblowers who attempt to expose the agency's cronyism and incompetence. That would only make it a terrible agency if not for the fact that when the ACE fails, the consequences can be catastrophic. The levees that failed in New Orleans during Katrina were supposed to be guaranteed by the ACE. The bridge that collapsed in Minnesota in 2007 was, too.

America Betrayed does have some remarkable disclosures about the ACE's failures that paint a damning portrait of just how disastrously flawed the agency has become. The best section examines one of ACE's most significant fiascoes: the Mississippi River Gulf Outlet. Known locally by its acronym as Mr. Go, it was initially conceived as a way to cut a straight waterway through the Mississippi delta for commercial barges in the 1960s. Lucrative government contracts were signed and many promises of economic benefits were made. Forty years later, Mr. Go has actually done far more harm than good. The waterway was so badly designed and built that it's eroded giant chunks of land from the delta, making it far too shallow and unstable to be used by all but the smallest boats. Even worse, it provided a straight conduit for warm Gulf water to reach the city of New Orleans, giving Katrina a shorter and faster path inland than it would have had if it had gone through the original untouched delta. This is the kind of investigative filmmaking that the film should have more of. Though the ACE itself declined to cooperate with the film, Cardé has done an excellent job of uncovering their lapses.

Unfortunately, it's only a part of the film. America Betrayed clocks in at 92 minutes. Nearly 45 of those are spent on stories of people who endured Katrina relating the aftermath. These are indeed gripping and harrowing stories, but what do they have to do with the subject at hand? The ACE has apparently exerted severe political and economic pressure on civil engineering agencies and organizations that attempt to point out their shortcomings. There are several other ACE projects that have been so badly mishandled that state governments have been forced to step up on their own behalf to repair them. These facts are briefly mentioned in passing, but why didn't Cardé spend more time on them? The Katrina stories simply take up valuable time that could have been better served discussing the work the ACE does and why it's so important to reform it. The fact that both President Obama and Senator John McCain are shown in clips discussing the ACE's shortcomings and that several fiscal conservative groups have complained about the agency's wasteful and inept spending prove that this a bipartisan issue that deserves more scrutiny, but this film is just not focused enough to provide it.

None of the extras fill in the holes. The "Director Interview" (9:09) consists of Cardé answering questions she had been asked repeatedly at film festivals. None of them really explain why she made exactly the film she claimed not to have made. There are some "Bonus Interviews" (7:33), but these are too brief to explain much. The text extras include Cardé's biography and a bibliography of books and websites to consult. At least the anamorphic 1.78:1 transfer and Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo mix are acceptable.

Ultimately, the film's tagline promises something that America Betrayed doesn't really deliver. This is a hugely important topic but it's not handled well. Cardé should have had the discipline to not delve so much into the Katrina survivor stories, no matter how engrossing they are, and instead focus on the less cinematic but far more significant topic of infrastructure. There are enough interesting facts here to make this worth a look, but not enough to recommend this film wholeheartedly.

The Verdict

Guilty of not fully exploring an important subject.

"You may know this song, but you probably haven't heard it like I'm about to give it to ya. We blues-ed it up real good."

The Case

If you don't at least like "The King of Blues," odds are reasonably high that you have no soul. I confess that I'm not a huge blues junkie, but the music of B.B. King never fails to be thoroughly engaging. So, getting the opportunity to review this Blu-ray disc was a pleasant surprise. The disc will serve as a nice companion piece to the recently released B.B. King: Live Blu-ray disc, which spotlighted one of Mr. King's 2008 performances. This one was recorded in 1993 at the Montreux Jazz Festival, where B.B. King has performed no less than 19 (!) times over the course of his career. It's a stellar 99 minute set of music that focuses on well-known hits from the earlier portion of King's career.

Things kick off with an opening series of selections from the eight-piece B.B King orchestra, warming up the crowd with a handful of coolly crisp instrumental that serves as a very pleasant lead-in for B.B. King's grand entrance tune, Louis Jordan's "Let the Good Times Roll." One of the ways this disc contrasts nicely with the 2008 performance is that we actually get to see King up and around rather than confined to his chair (as he has been for the past few years). Here King is feisty and energetic, dancing and shaking enthusiastically despite his considerable size. Jordan's "Caldonia" is also covered, demonstrating just what a considerable affection King has for the man's music.

King's singing voice is in merely average shape here, getting through the tunes effectively enough without ever being genuinely exceptional. Even so, the spotlight should not be placed on King's singing but on his magnificent guitar-playing skills, which are in superb form here. Fortunately almost every number includes a rather extended instrumental bridge, allowing King to riff in that unmistakable manner that has influenced oh-so-many guitar players over the past 50 years or so. Just take a listen to his feverish licks in the middle of "When It All Comes Down (I'll Still Be Around)." Great stuff. In fact, there are a couple of instrumental-only numbers thrown into the mix here ("All Over Again" and ironically, "Why I Sing the Blues"), and it is no surprise that they stand as some of the highlights of the set.

King brings the show to a close with a knockout trio of three of his most well-known tunes. He begins with a smooth and steady take on "Rock Me Baby," dedicates a particularly brief yet delightful version of "Please Accept My Love," to his audience and finally closes with his signature tune, "The Thrill is Gone." He spends a full 13 minutes essaying this final number, the last five minutes of which serve as an instrumental back-up to an introduction to/speech of appreciation for the band.

The complete set list is as follows:

• Fanfare (band instrumental)
• Six Pack (band instrumental)
• Two I Shoot Blues (band instrumental)
• Let the Good Times Roll
• When It All Comes Down (I'll Still Be Around)
• Chains of Love
• Caldonia
• All Over Again (instrumental)
• Since I Met You Baby
• Playing With My Friends
• Ain't Nobody Home
• Why I Sing the Blues (instrumental)
• Blues Man
• Rock Me Baby
• Please Accept My Love
• The Thrill is Gone

Eagle Rock (which has released loads of these Montreux Jazz Festival DVDs and Blu-ray discs) has once again done a stellar job with the 1080i transfer, capturing the muted red-and-blue hues of the stage performance with depth and accuracy. Facial detail is particularly superb throughout, and the cinematography manages to be reasonably dynamic and inventive. Blacks are nice and deep, though occasionally the shading could use a little more definition during darker moments. There are occasional shots that seem a little too soft, but these are definitely the exception rather than the rule. The audio is fairly dynamic here, providing a steady series of minor punches that will definitely satisfy most viewers even if it won't bowl them over. King's guitar work soars here, even if his vocals are occasionally a tad muffled. The only extras are three King performances from 2006: "Why I Sing the Blues," "When Love Comes to Town," and "Guess Who."

In closing, B.B. King: Live at Montreux 1993 is an entertaining disc that should prove satisfactory to King fans and newcomers alike. Recommended.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

Music. Passion. Betrayal. Welcome to the Blues.

Opening Statement

What if somebody made a noir version of Moulin Rouge with obscure blues numbers instead of well known pop tunes? Well, here is your answer. Dark Streets is a musical fantasy where a bunch of white people live in a fictionalized version of 1930s New Orleans, singing and dancing their hearts out nightly. If that sounds appealing then you've come to the right joint. Dark Streets may not lead you anywhere, but it sure does look good while doing its thing.

Facts of the Case

Chaz Davenport (Gabriel Mann, The Bourne Supremacy) has just opened up a blues club on a wing and a prayer. His wealthy father passed away recently and left him nothing. He has borrowed from loan sharks and anybody he can to get his place up and running. A mysterious cop (Elias Koteas, The Haunting in Connecticut) shows up looking to be paid off, and to convince him to hire a sultry blonde singer (Izabella Miko, Coyote Ugly). This makes his resident brunette singer (Bijou Phillips, Hostel: Part II) none too happy. Chaz seems to not notice the bitter rivalry between the two songbirds, because he is trying to figure out if his father was murdered. This all leads him down a dangerous path that could cost him a lot more than just the shirt off his back; it could mean the end of his sad life. It's all a great reason to sing the blues.

The Evidence

Dark Streets is a lot of gorgeous hokum and tremendous glitz with very little depth. The film is all style and musical numbers more than anything else. There is a strange too-theatrical quality to everything, and that is easily explained when you consider the screenplay by Wallace King was based on Glenn M. Stewart's play "City Club." This was all meant to be a stage musical, and perhaps the material could work better with that iteration which was more musical revue than anything plot driven. As a movie it works only as an exercise in style, and there's a lack of narrative drive or clarity for any of the characters. There is a point A and a point B, and getting there means just posing while getting ready for the next musical montage. The actors do fine jobs with what little they are given, and surprisingly Bijou Phillips makes for a convincing flapper chanteuse.

The problem here is authenticity and a lack of soul. If you're going to conjure up the Blues and New Orleans then something should be heartfelt. The soundtrack features Etta James, Aaron Neville, and Natalie Cole. These singers know how to wring out a song authentically, but they are heard and not seen. Instead we get pretty people in pretty clothes singing pretty songs, and they do this in between spitting out noir clichés and trite dialogue. The film feels more like concept than execution, and all the elements are well designed but with no substance to support them.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

If there is one thing to be said for the film it looks stunning.

The musical numbers work well, and are inventively staged. The singing and the dancing are top notch, and you get to marry that with the lush production and costume design. Dark Streets functions as a sumptuous feast for the eyes, even when it falters with storytelling and characters. I have to say if you're coming for a "spectacular spectacular" musical kitsch fever dream it does deliver that straight up.

The Sony DVD presentation is quite well done. Rock solid black levels are imperative for this type of murky film, and mostly they are spot on. Everything looks fine with good detail and nice color balance. The five channel sound mix works well for the musical numbers and atmospherics. Extras include a commentary with director Rachel Samuels (The Suicide Club) joined by Gabriel Mann and Toledo (a bass voiced singer making his acting debut). It's a nice conversation about the production, locations, and inspirations behind it. Also included are some deleted and alternate sequences which are worth a look for a couple of different takes and character beats.

Closing Statement

Dark Streets is the blues answer to Moulin Rouge, all dark angst and seedy glamour. It doesn't have a compelling story to convey, but it seems not to mind as it parades out one glorious musical sequence after another. The production is a handsome song and dance tone poem about a fictional club in a fantasy city. The film has a sophisticated visual palette, but little else to offer.

The Verdict

Guilty of being more visually interesting than anything else, Dark Streets is free to mime the blues.

(loud rock music)

4RE U R34DY 4 SUM XTR333333333M3333 TR41NZZZZZZZ?!!??!!?!?!1!11!

(more loud rock music)

The Case

Okay, it's not that extreme. In fact, Extreme Trains isn't really a very good title for this History Channel series. The trains involved aren't truly "extreme" -- they're the bread and butter of the American rail transportation system. But "Complex and Modern Intermodal Transportation Backbone of the US" doesn't really have much of a ring to it...

Oh, Extreme Trains tries to be "extreme," presumably to "appeal" to "today's" "tweens and teens." There's a lot of "active" camera work -- some (ahem) might describe it as "drunken" camera work, some pseudo-hip rock in the background, and an energetic host. It's totally unnecessary, and largely annoying. It's almost as if the producers wanted to out-MTV MTV or something. (I can almost picture the pitch meeting: "It's like The Hills...except it's The Trains!!!") Thankfully, they failed miserably. Extreme Trains is completely different from MTV in two major ways: it is informative, and it is entertaining.

This DVD contains all eight episodes of the show's first season, which were aired on the History Channel in late 2008. Each episode deals with a specific train or route, and uses that train/route to explore various topics in, and aspects of, railroading. Each episode is presented in nonanamorphic widescreen, with the original broadcast Dolby stereo for audio. The two discs are laid out as follows:

Disc One

• "Coal Train"
The first episode follows a heavy Norfolk Southern coal train from the mines in Western Pennsylvania, through the Appalachians, to its final (and sole) destination, a major coal-fired power plant in central PA.

• "Freight Train"
A BNSF fast freight from the Port of Los Angeles to Dallas, Texas, is used to illustrate how containerization has revolutionized transportation.

• "High Speed Train"
The show takes an in-depth look at the Acela Express, America's only high-speed passenger rail service.

• "Ice Cold Express"
An express refrigerated freight ("reefer") train brings fresh produce from Washington State to New York.

Disc Two

• "Steam Train"
Matt rides the Union Pacific's #844, the last steam locomotive in active service in the US, on a special trip between Denver and Cheyenne.

• "Overnight Traveler"
Amtrak's "Empire Builder," its most popular overnight cross-country passenger route, travels from Chicago through the northern Rockies to Seattle, along a route originally built by James J. Hill's Great Northern Railway.

• "Circus Train"
The one-of-a-kind Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus train is a logistical nightmare, but a virtual necessity for the circus.

• "Transcontinental"
The Union Pacific's Omaha-to-Sacramento freight service follows the path of the original Transcontinental Railway.

Against all odds, Extreme Trains is a thorough, nearly complete look at contemporary American railroading. In eight 45-minute episodes, the show manages to touch upon almost every aspect of the railroad business today, and covers a good deal of rail history as well. The individual shows are well-paced and move along quickly -- if you have even a moderate interest in railroading, these episodes will seem to be over before you know it, leaving you hungry for more. Each episode features one or two diversions from the main subject matter, which usually touch on how things were done during the age of steam in railroading. The contrast between the incredibly complex and dangerous steam locomotives of yesteryear and today's safe, efficient diesel engines highlights and emphasizes how far railroad technology has come in 150 years.

A key part of the show's energy and pace is its kinetic host, Matt Bown. Bown, a great big teddy bear of a man, has an almost childlike excitement about all things trains. At first, it's off-putting, because you can't believe it's not phoniness. Once you realize that he's absolutely sincere in his excitement, it's hard to not pick up some of that enthusiasm yourself. Bown -- who is a conductor for a railroad in Maine -- also does a great job at explaining the technology on display in terms that the average person can understand, but he never comes off as overly simplistic or condescending to the audience. He also pulls a bit of a Mike Rowe and gets his hands dirty, doing everything from greasing steam locomotive wheels to chopping ice off of the tracks in a Cascades tunnel.

Fair warning for railroad buffs: this series is clearly targeted at people with a casual interest in railroading, i.e. people with little to no knowledge about railroading. If you're a hard-core rail fan, these shows might be too basic for you. You'll probably still enjoy them; you just won't learn anything new. (You might be surprised, though, at how many topics this series manages to cover in its eight episodes.) For everyone else, these shows are a great introduction to the world of railroading. The information is presented at a level that is simple enough for children to follow, but not too simplistic to interest adults. It's nearly perfect. But for the unnecessary "extremeness" and the unfortunate nonanamorphic transfer, this would be the introductory railroading DVD. Instead, it's just a really great railroading DVD.

The Verdict

Not guilty. I hope we get to see more of Matt Bown and his beloved trains in the future.

"I was afraid of living an ordinary life, and I realized that's what we all get, and it's good enough."

The Case

Garrison Keillor, when talking about A Prairie Home Companion, says he found success "accidentally." His radio variety show began in 1974 in St. Paul, Minnesota, and has been running more or less continually since, except for the time he left the country to become an expat in Copenhagen and the time he relocated to New York and gave the show a new title. It's a fixture on public radio stations, drawing more than 3 million listeners each week and attracting guests like Steve Martin and Arlo Guthrie. Even if you've never listened, you might have heard an audio compilation, read one of Keillor's novels, or seen the movie he did with Robert Altman. Hopefully, the fears of growing old alone that he mentioned in a monologue have abated some.

While Keillor still looks pretty ordinary as he shambles through a state fair or a rhubarb festival, his life turned out to be unique enough that he's the subject of an American Masters documentary, Garrison Keillor: The Man on the Radio in the Red Shoes. After all, how many people host an internationally broadcast weekly radio variety show done live in front of an audience? The documentary, shot over more than a year, mostly features footage of Keillor augmented by quotes from his monologues or an interview done for the documentary, with regulars on the show sharing their impressions of Keillor or their experiences in doing radio.

At first glance, Man on the Radio seems like nothing more than a chance to put faces to the voices that fans have heard on the radio, something you might have done already with his Prairie Home Companion. Since he does a semi-autobiographical monologue nearly every week, Keillor's life is relatively familiar to fans, as is his self-deprecatory style, full of quotes like, "Being an English major prepares you for impersonating authority." As the documentary goes on, however, you get a picture of a man whose permanent hangdog expression seems to reflect his inner self, but is essentially content. Keillor has found a niche that allows him to be quiet and introspective, but a welcomed part of the larger community wherever he goes, as both a small-town guy and a big-city intellectual. "I've always wanted to get more than one life, to get a St. Paul life but also a New York life and a cowboy life, a show business life, a literary life, and a secret life," he says.

Keillor's basic contentment reveals itself gradually, since Keillor also seems to be always "on," even if his version of "on" is that of a soft-spoken writer. As he's being interviewed, he doesn't quite look at the interviewer or the camera, instead seeming to look inward for his next sentence. He's at his most relaxed when talking to college students in Savannah, Georgia, a segment shown at length in one of the extras. Here, he tells the students about his career, advises them to always circulate beyond artistic circles, and gets laughs with his imitation of the tough guy sleuths who inspired his Guy Noir character. This visit is by far the best of the extras. Also featured in the extras are a bonus Lake Wobegon story on "Privy Tipping," an interview with Keillor and Prairie Home Companion movie director Robert Altman, some interview outtakes (which are interesting more because you see the way he talks rather than for what he says), and a text bio of filmmaker Peter Rosen.

The picture and sound quality are excellent, even with natural lighting as he heads out into the world. While the Keillor quotes are excellent, you might wish for a bit more of his general mundane conversation.

If you're a Prairie Home Companion fan, the PBS special is worth watching and manages the trick of saying something new about a familiar personality. I'd check the listings for an airing first, but that Savannah discussion is an extra that makes Man on the Radio worth a rental or a purchase, if you're a faithful listener, a writer, or an educator.

The Verdict

Not guilty. May Keillor continue his radio life for many years to come.

I'm livin' on a Chinese rock
All my best things are in hock
I'm livin' on a Chinese rock
Everything is in the pawn shop -- lyrics to "Chinese Rocks"

The Case

Before the music had a name, bands like the Ramones, the New York Dolls, and Television were screaming out punk rock to sweaty teenagers in clubs across New York City. Their art influenced two generations of music, from the second-rate knockoff that is the Sex Pistols to the third-rate knockoff of them called Green Day (now playing over the intercom at your local grocery store). Those pioneers laid the groundwork for popular music for the next three decades. They paid a price for their greatness, however. They lived the life they sang about, existing for copping heroin, shooting up, and playing some damn fine music. Many of these artists are dead today, most by drugs, including Dee Dee Ramone, bassist for The Ramones and the subject of History on My Arms. This collection of three interviews by Lech Kowalski, two with Dee Dee and one with Vom Ritchie, drummer for Die Toten Hosen, tell a dark but funny tale of the early days of punk.

Kowalski catches Dee Dee at one of the few sober moments of his life; the artist is bright and absolutely engaging, a great storyteller with an incredible memory considering what's been done to those brains. The first piece, called Hey, Is Dee Dee Home? makes up the bulk of the disc, lasting a little more than an hour. This is one of the finest rock star interviews I've ever seen. Dee Dee sits in his torn t-shirt, prominently displaying his tattoos and collapsed veins in front of a solid black background. With this simple setup, Kowalski lets Dee Dee talk to his heart's content, interjecting only occasionally to keep things going, since our subject can tend to ramble. The stories he tells -- some scary and some hilarious -- are universally interesting. The highlight is an infamous incident in 1989 at a German hotel with Dee Dee, Johnny Thunders (New York Dolls, The Heartbreakers), Stiv Bators (Dead Boys), and Ritchie that is absolutely unbelievable, and all too true, I'm sure. Animated, fun, and likeable, Dee Dee is a fantastic subject and Hey, Is Dee Dee Home? is an ideal format for his stories.

Playing off of Dee Dee's likeability, Kowalski recut his footage from the original interview to make a shorter piece called History on My Arms. This is less coherent, but an interesting edit, focusing more on Dee Dee playing the guitar and interacting with the camera. On a certain level, it is kind of pointless; there's no new information here, just footage we've seen before. It does, however, give us a deeper perspective on Dee Dee as in individual and that does make it valuable.

The final piece is the interview with Ritchie, who discusses the hotel incident from a different side (it makes for a great contrast), as well as his time with Dee Dee and being a part of the scene in general. He doesn't have the same kind of instant lovability that Dee Dee has, but his stories are certainly worth the listen.

MVD is on a roll with releasing archival music footage. History on My Arms has average picture and sound in a bare bones presentation. The only extra, and it's not bad, is a three song EP with some music from Dee Dee plays during the film. It doesn't matter about the lack of supplements, though; the footage is what's important here and it's worth every second.

The combination of three pieces gives us a very clear picture of an unclear, drugged up time. History on My Arms his highly recommended for fans of the roots of punk, but even more highly for people who only know punk that they can buy at Wal-Mart to give them insight to a time when this music wasn't suitable for your six-year old.

The Verdict

Gabba gabba not guilty.

"Je ne suis pas un handicapé. Je suis un mutant." -- Jean-Dominique Bauby

The Case

Perhaps you've heard of Jean-Dominique Bauby, who wrote The Diving Bell and the Butterfly despite the inability to move or talk. His story came to the world's attention through Locked-In Syndrome, a documentary for French television by Jean-Jacques Beineix (Betty Blue). Now you can see that documentary as part of The Jean-Jacques Beineix Collection. What won't sink in until you actually watch is that it's only a short, and Otaku, a look at Japanese outsiders, is actually the main feature on the disc of shorter films.

Locked-In Syndrome tells the story of French Elle editor Bauby, who was left paralyzed by a massive stroke. "Unable to speak or move, he has only one way to communicate," the narrator tells us, "by flicking his left eyelid." An assistant painstakingly writes down his messages as he blinks them out.

Locked-In shows us life from Bauby's perspective by using his words as narration over scenes from his daily existence. The vignettes demonstrate that his writer's mind is still sharp. He describes his situation with poetic grace with observations like "My old life still burns in me but is gradually reduced to the ashes of memory." Although he's mostly paralyzed, there's a slight twitch as meals -- real food rather than the IV tube that nourishes Bauby -- are served that reminds the viewer of Bauby's longing for normal existence. His struggles are visible as he tries to say a word or make even the slightest motion beyond that blink, the effort coming despite great pain. The directorial flourishes, when they come, are memorable, but the scene in which a double exposure makes it appear that Bauby's spirit is roaming the hospital halls doesn't quite achieve the haunting feeling of Bauby's life just unfolding on the screen. Fortunately, those flourishes are kept to a minimum.

"What is an otaku? Someone who has a hobby which is noticeable, who's a fanatic, someone who has no friends, who's dull, who stays indoors, someone closed in on themselves and a bit suspect. Basically, someone I have no desire to get to know." Beineix defies that statement from the narration and gets to know these outsiders who stay indoors very well in Otaku. It starts with a Tokyo protest by the outsiders and then introduces various outsiders, all defined by the common thread of obsession. They range from comic book and monster nerds to motorcyclists to "survival" gamers who recreate World War II battles. There are also guys who talk to female dolls, couples into bondage, and underwear fetishists. While it's a TV documentary and there are only brief shots of naughty video games or comic books, the subject matter is quite intense at times.

During the course of Otaku, Beineix doesn't seem to judge his subjects. The documentary is leading to a conclusion, a suggestion that Japanese society has lost its goals as much as the otaku have. The narrator's conclusion -- "And what about us? What do we believe in?" -- seems to make it a global concern. The scene that most struck me was one of office ladies and salarymen at a Tokyo nightclub. The emphasis was on the revealing clothes the women wore as they danced on the stage. What I noticed was that I saw no one mingling and no couples dancing together. The entire crowd, in a way, was otaku.

Mr. Michel's Dog, the short fiction film that started Beineix's career, rounds out the package. "Excuse me, sir. Do you have any scraps for my dog?" Mr. Michel asks the butcher. There's no dog, but neighborhood gossip creates one. It's an amusing vignette about a fiction that becomes a reality, with a nicely ironic twist.

At first, I thought it was foul play to emphasize Locked-in Syndrome so prominently on the cover, but after viewing, I realize there's a common thread that justifies it: the human need for communication to escape isolation. Each documentary addresses that theme in some way, with Locked-in the most direct and literal. All of these films can be painful to watch because that theme touches us all in some way.

The Verdict

Not guilty, although Cinema Libre gets a misdemeanor for sneaky packaging.

The comedy that treats you like a king...for a day.

Opening Statement

Critically panned and a commercial failure upon its original release in 1982, Lookin' to Get Out! was one of the final films directed by the superb Hal Ashby. Along with Hugh Hudson's Revolution, this is another one of those supposed turkeys that has been re-released in line with the director's original vision. Still, does that make the film worth checking out a second time on DVD?

Facts of the Case

Alex Kovac (Jon Voight, Midnight Cowboy) is an addictive gambler. While he scores big one day, he manages to lose it all and more the next morning. Now he owes $10,000 in poker debts to Harry, a local underground thug. He tells his buddy/roommate Jerry Feldman (Burt Young, Rocky Balboa) the bad news. Now both targets, Alex decides the only solution is to try their luck in Vegas.

Alex manages to get both of them a suite at the MGM Grand by making Jerry pose as a friend of the owner. Their plans are thrown for a loop when they run into Alex's former flame Patti Warner (Ann-Margaret, Grumpy Old Men), who now happens to be dating the owner. Patti refuses to help them, and things get even worse when Harry shows up to mangle Alex and collect the money he owes.

The Evidence

Like many other critics, I'm a huge fan of Ashby's work. Just zip over to IMDb sometime and look at this guy's resume, which includes some of the best films of the 1970s. Let's see, to start you have the cult favorite Harold And Maude; the sublime The Last Detail (which remains my vote for the finest film of all time about the U.S. Navy); the immensely popular Warren Beatty vehicle Shampoo; the heart-wrenching romance Coming Home (which garnered Oscars for both Jon Voight and Jane Fonda); and, finally, the austerely beautiful drama Being There, which featured funnyman Peter Sellers contributing one of his last performances. Ashby, who died in 1988 due to pancreatic cancer, was a masterful director as well as editor, winning an Oscar for 1967's In the Heat of the Night.

In the 1980s, however, Ashby seemed to have lost his touch -- both with reality and as a filmmaker. He made only three films, and all were greeted with disdain by critics and largely ignored by audiences. Lookin' to Get Out! was completed in 1980, but was taken out of Ashby's hands by distributor Lorimar. In turn, they screwed around with the final cut, removing 15 minutes of footage, and not releasing it until two years later. While he was approached to helm Tootsie, Ashby's dependence on marijuana and his bizarre behavior during Lookin' to Get Out doomed the opportunity. He was fired during productions of both The Slugger's Wife and 8 Million Ways to Die. Both were duds, despite having screenplays by Neil Simon and Oliver Stone, respectively. With his prolific career all but destroyed, Ashby died in December 1988, a truly sad ending to the life of a fine filmmaker. If you want to read more about Ashby, I highly recommend the biography Being Hal Ashby: Life Of A Hollywood Rebel, which was published in early 2009 by Nick Dawson.

Two years ago, Dawson alerted Jon Voight of an existing print of Lookin' to Get Out! being held at the USC archives. Voight was astonished and, after viewing the movie, identified it immediately as Ashby's long-lost cut. It's because of Voight that Lookin' to Get Out! is finally being released on DVD courtesy of Warner Bros, and Ashby fans will no doubt be excited. I was, too, until I watched it.

Is Lookin' to Get Out! the truly god-awful mess its reputation suggests? The answer is no. Is it a great movie? Again, no. Was it enjoyable? Sort of. Is it worth revisiting again by those who dismissed it before as garbage? Yes and no.

I was so tied with Lookin' to Get Out! that attacking it would be harsh, and praising it would be insane. The film was (and still is) promoted as a comedy, but there are surprisingly few laughs. The performances are adequate but all three leads are capable of far better. As for Ashby, he certainly edits the film well, but the story teeter-totters between being competent and lazy. For example, the opening scenes in New York and the closing moments in Vegas are terrific, but the second act has a lot of flaws and flimsy pacing. The foot chase around the Grand's kitchens and convention halls isn't played out for all its worth. The climactic showdown between Alex and his nemesis is ridiculous. For every virtue within Lookin' to Get Out!, there is something else mercilessly smacking it down.

Voight, who co-scripted with Al Schwartz, plays a loser and full-time sleaze. Yet, we still find his harebrained schemes interesting to watch. Plus, he looks like he's having fun, which, admittedly, put a few smiles on my face. For some ungodly reason, though, he felt the need to do nauseating Al Pacino impressions to punch up his character. Despite his enthusiasm, he's not really all that humorous.

Young's role as the nebbish sidekick is far more appealing. Best known for playing Paulie in the Rocky movies, I've always considered his best role as Rodney Dangerfield's limo driver in Back to School. Still, Young is very good here and makes up for his co-star's indulgences with an identifiable "why me?" attitude. There's a running gag involving Jerry's character that some may find tasteless, however. Every time a pretty girl walks up to them, Jerry asks if she's a hooker. Consequently, he seems to not give a damn about Alex's desperate situation, looking only to get laid.

Unfortunately, the sexy Ann-Margaret is given almost nothing to work with. She has little dialogue, and her only motivation seems to want to decide to not help Alex or pick up things where they left off. She may have come a long way since being the booty-shaking sexpot of Viva Las Vegas and Bye Bye Birdie. Still, I expected much more out of her, as all she ends up being is pure eye candy with weak conflicts and a one-dimensional personality.

Much of the supporting cast is unknown, but there are some surprises among them. Veteran Burt Remsen (Conspiracy Theory) is a real treat as an aging blackjack expert. The girl in the jeep in the beginning is none other than Voight's then-wife Marcheline Bertrand. And, yes, that is their daughter (billed as Angelina Jolie Voight) making her film debut as Ann-Margaret's onscreen daughter. Interestingly, this is the only movie to ever feature a real-life father, mother, and daughter.

In addition, this was also the first time a movie was filmed inside the MGM Grand. Production designer Robert Boyle (North By Northwest) does a fine job of re-creating one of the Grand's expansive rooms, here dubbed the Dr. Zhivago suite. I also loved the flashy, disco-like title design that bookends the film. The person responsible is unfortunately uncredited.

As for the DVD itself, it's palatable but lacks fireworks. For one thing, the cheesy cover art will probably turn off more buyers than Warner Bros. prefers. The new anamorphic print has a generous amount of grain and scratches, as noted by the disclaimer card before the film begins. Still, Haskell Wexler's cinematography has an appropriately dark, mucky look. Black levels are excellent overall, but the flesh tones seem to be affected by the lack of light and focus. Given the print source, however, I can't complain too much. Same goes for the mono track, which is tepid at best. Dialogue is easily heard most of the time, and Johnny Mandel's score comes through OK. The title song may be one of the worst I've heard in my life, however. Subtitles are provided in English and French, with additional closed captioning.w

Not counting the theatrical trailer, there is one significant extra: A 16-minute retrospective with the three leads and Schwarz. The latter begins by talking about the inspiration of the film and how he later joined Voight in writing the script. Voight is the main speaker here, but Young and Ann-Margaret both chime in several times. What's disappointing is the overall back-patting, with Ashby's controversial behavior and frequent fights with the studio over final cut never touched upon. Also included is an insert with a brief message from Voight repeating several things from the featurette. What really would have improved this DVD is a commentary by some or all of these participants. Or, a look back at Ashby's life and career with Dawson as a guest speaker would have been cool too. Such a wasted opportunity!

Closing Statement

I'm a firm believer in giving a film a second chance. This is especially true when editing is the most vital element in the filmmaking process. It could literally make or break the project. In the case of Lookin' to Get Out, it's definitely worth a new look for Ashby enthusiasts. All others are encouraged to try to rent it to see if they would enjoy it.

The Verdict

The jury remains out.

Art girls hit the big city!

The Case

Five women artists move to New York, and this documentary follows their dreams of making it in a city known for its art scene. The subjects include Ghada Amer, Kiki Smith, Marina Abramovic, Swoon and Nancy Spero. It's a varied group of ages and ethnicities along with several different mediums and aesthetics. Because we have five stars and only an hour and twenty-five minutes, it's hard to feel like everybody gets examined intensely. The documentary is good for people who don't know much about the art scene or the women depicted, but those who do may find it lacking in depth. Our City Dreams is simply Art 101, and aspires to be nothing more. That should be enough for most viewers though, because it's nice to get to know these gals on a more personal level. Perhaps where the film excels is in the idea that we should examine the artist's life more than their work sometimes. The conceit is they are allowed to talk about anything while we look at a survey of their work. The cameras follow them as they prepare shows, and even when they travel abroad to do work elsewhere. We get a segment on each artist, and all the women are great subjects.

The transfer is a mix of current interviews shot on digital video and old stock footage films for the more seasoned artists. Skin tones are off a bit, often looking more orange than they should. Some of the details in paintings pixelate, and so we suffer through digital noise now and then. Extras include a brief look at the making of the film with comments by director Chiara Clemente. There is a short film that looks at the works of Stephen Sprouse. Also included are text biographies of the artists which will help neophytes understand who these women are.

Our City Dreams has five women talking about art and the city they make it in. It's a love letter between the visual arts and the one place that celebrates the highs of the art world better than anywhere else. The documentary is a fascinating glimpse at five important voices who have a lot to say. There's plenty of unusual antics such as a sixty year old woman directing men to beat the ocean tide with whips during a seven hour performance art piece, and then there is the show of a woman's graffiti-inspired wooden cutouts of people. You're never quite sure what dames with an idea are going to do in the Big Apple. But one thing you do know, they're more than willing to talk about it on film!

The Verdict

Not guilty of anything but dreaming big.

It's dangerous.

The Case

Like most American kids, my first introduction to reggae was Bob Marley on the radio. However, I didn't really have any serious interest in the genre until I discovered punk as a teenager. Then I learned that most of the seminal punk rockers had crates full of Jamaican music, including dub and reggae, which prompted me to learn more. What I discovered is that punk and reggae complement each other perfectly. Reggae shows that behind punk's sneering exterior is a genuine sense of oppression and experimentation, while punk shows that reggae, despite its generally mellow groove and bright sounds, has true revolutionary potential. In my mind, the two worlds most fruitfully meet in the DIY aesthetic of Jamaican cinema, especially its twin stars The Harder They Come and Rockers.

The Harder They Come is undoubtedly the more famous of the two, not least because Rockers has no qualms about borrowing some of the underdog sentiments of its older brother. In fact, it wouldn't be amiss to label Rockers as The Harder They Come meets The Bicycle Thieves. The film follows Horsemouth (played by reggae artist Leroy "Horsemouth" Wallace) as he attempts to better himself by buying a motorcycle so he can distribute the hottest reggae jams around the island. However, someone steals his ride, and he must join with his fellow musicians and clash with a group of small-time gangsters to retrieve his property.

I'm not about to knock The Harder They Come, but its rags-to-riches story doesn't offer as much insight into the Jamaican reggae community as it could. It's a little too contrived to capture the everyday aspects of reggae culture (even as it perfectly captures the simmering discontent and poverty). Taking a cue from Neorealism, Rockers takes a more naturalistic approach, using the stolen motorcycle as a small peg on which to hang footage of reggae musicians being reggae musicians. In fact, the film opens with a group of musicians sitting around, passing the pipe as they play. One suspects that it's not tobacco they're smoking, and that this non-tobacco informed much of the hazy pacing of the film.

All that really pales before the truly important question about Rockers: How does the music stand up? Thirty years later, it still stands up pretty well. Those weaned on the more radio-friendly reggae of Bob Marley (or more distantly, covers of his work by the likes of Eric Clapton) may find Rockers a little hard to swallow, as the jams can be hard-hitting and lengthy. However, for fans of the "golden era" of reggae, this is a serious goldmine. We get to see (and hear!) the likes of Burning Spear, Peter Tosh, Gregory Isaacs, and Robbie Shakespeare. Even when no one is playing on-screen, the soundtrack brims with beautiful music.

Rockers was released in a twenty-fifth anniversary DVD edition in 2005, and this new Blu-ray disc is a mixed bag in comparison. On the positive side, the film is presented in a newly created HD transfer in the original 1.85:1 aspect ratio (in contrast to the full-frame of the DVD). It looks as good as you'd expect from a low-budget film from 1978. The source is a bit ragged, and the colors muted, but this is probably as good as the film is going to look on home video. On the negative side of things, all the extras from the twenty-fifth anniversary are lost. These include an interview with the director, a commentary with the director, the trailer, and music videos. The only "extra" ported over is a booklet containing pictures and a Jamaican patois glossary. Because Rockers functions almost as much as a documentary as it does a musical, the contextual extras are sorely missed.

The Blu-ray does port over the 5.1 surround audio mix, which is listed as "English," but is really Jamaican patois. For the uninitiated this track will be a difficult listen, but the inclusion of numerous subtitle options (and the glossary booklet) will be of use to many viewers.

Rockers is a fascinating Neorealist portrait of a particularly interesting time in Jamaican history and popular culture. It's certainly recommended for all fans of reggae, or anyone who enjoyed The Harder They Come. This Blu-ray is hard to recommend because, despite the upgrade in visual quality, all the DVD extras have been lost, making for a much less attractive package. Upgrade at your own discretion, but I'd recommend both releases for serious fans.

The Verdict

Jah know Rockers not guilty.

"For a man's country or his stomach he might bid his life; even for his horse. Never, never for a woman." -- Abdullah

Opening Statement

Escapism at the movies has always been in fashion, even sixty years ago. Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves is a Technicolor dream of Baghdad and waving scimitars. It's a reimagining of the Arabian Nights tale with less mysticism, more Technicolor, and the dazzling Maria Montez.

Facts of the Case

Baghdad is invaded by the Mongols, and the Caliph is betrayed and killed. His son Ali escapes. He finds refuge with a band of thieves who hide out in a cave that you have to say "Open Sesame!" to enter. Ali Baba (Jon Hall, The Invisible Man's Revenge) grows up to lead his gang of rebels in a resistance effort against the foreign invaders. He wants to reclaim his throne and his girl (Maria Montez, The Invisible Woman), but it may take forty oil barrels full of sand to get there. The bad guys twirl their moustaches, the good guys make noble speeches, and the beautiful exotic girl is caught in the middle.

The Evidence

Maria Montez had become a screen siren who's presence represented "B" grade escapist fare ever since she traded modeling for a movie career after the Great Depression. She seemed to always have Turhan Bey alongside her in the cast, and Jon Hall to play the "white bread" hero to her exotic female lead. Hall and Montez had made a very successful film adaptation of Arabian Nights only two years before this one, so Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves feels like a studio's attempt to cash in on a trend. It looks like a lot of the same sets and costumes were used, and the usual clichés abound. The saving grace is the film just has a good time, and doesn't pretend to be anything it is not. The acting is cheesy, the story is predictable, but the spectacle is enough to carry it all through. Like Maria Montez herself, it's pretty to look at.

Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves comes to us on a DVD that is part of the Universal "Backlot Series." The picture has been digitally remastered, and we get the B picture in it's original full frame aspect ratio. It looks okay, although you can certainly guess the film was made six decades ago. The Technicolor is a little wacky, and there is a wash of grain and lack of detail throughout. I saw a couple of scratches and dirt pop up now and then too. The sound is a simple mono which is tinny but serviceable. There are no extras, not even a vintage trailer or poster gallery. There are subtitles, though, which is a plus when all things are considered, especially Montez's sometimes-thick accent.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

In the grand scheme of things, this title is only going to excite the Maria Montez completist. Surely the better made Arabian Nights or the even more silly and fun Cobra Woman represent better choices for DVD enthusiasts who just want a fun ride.

Closing Statement

Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves is a solid B picture content to ride right in the middle of the road. It's not quite as campy as the absurd Maria Montez epics, but then it is also not quite as well made as the best of her films. There is singing, dancing, sword waving, bed sheet costumes, huge cardboard sets, and lots of soft focus close ups. Nobody even remotely looks Middle Eastern, and the accents are from everywhere but that region. The whole film is a cartoon made for adults who just wanted to escape for an hour and a half.

The Verdict

Guilty of being a middle of the road guilty pleasure.

Three against the world...brothers and soldiers all!

The Case

P.C. Wren's novel, Beau Geste, has been adapted into film at least four times (not counting Marty Feldman's 1977 comedy, The Last Remake of Beau Geste). Director William A. Wellman's 1939 version wasn't the first, but it's the most famous. The ultimate fraternal bromance, Beau Geste tells the tale of the three Geste boys, who grow up in luxury in a British estate called Brandon Abbas, along with beautiful adoptee Isobel Rivers (Susan Hayward, I Want to Live!). Their adventure begins when Lady Brandon decides to sell a world renowned sapphire called the Blue Water in order to pay her husband's debts, but the jewel goes missing. Beau Geste (Gary Cooper, High Noon) writes a letter claiming to be the thief and then runs away to join the French Foreign Legion. Hungry for adventure and singularly loyal to one another, Digby (Robert Preston, The Music Man) and John (Ray Milland, The Lost Weekend) follow Beau into the Legion. The brothers' adventures in the Sahara eventually lead them to Fort Zinderneuf, where they fall under the command of a cruel sergeant named Markoff (Brian Donlevy, The Great McGinty). Desert raids and battles against Arabs ensue as the boys try to survive the legion, unravel the mystery of the Blue Water, and return to Brandon Abbas.

Wellman's film adheres fairly closely to the simple narrative of Wren's novel, but abandons the book's exhaustive detail about life in the French Foreign Legion in favor of Hollywood gloss. There's nothing the least bit French about Markoff or the other legionnaires, and Milland is the only one of the three Geste boys who comes off even remotely British (Cooper and Preston don't even bother with accents, and carry themselves like slick American movie stars not cultured British aristocracy). That's okay, though, because the director and his cast build a spectacle that is enormously entertaining. Even though Cooper is the picture's biggest star (and is rightfully top-billed), lead duties are evenly spread between him, Preston, and Milland. They play the brothers' fraternal loyalty with genuine warmth. The Gestes' love for one another is the emotional glue that holds the movie's episodic structure together. Without that, the movie would be little more than a series of exciting adventure vignettes and a half-baked romance between Milland and Haward. Instead, it's a (mostly) lighthearted adventure tale with memorable characters and a narrative structure just unconventional enough to prevent it from feeling formulaic. As Golden Age Hollywood adventures go, Beau Geste is no Gunga Din or The Adventures of Robin Hood, but it's the next best thing.

The movie looks great on DVD. Universal's fine transfer presents the picture in its original 1.33:1 aspect ratio. Contrast is excellent, with mostly solid blacks and a fine scale of grays. Grain is controlled, detail is impressive, and digital artifacts are never bothersome. One reel near the middle of the movie sports some significant vertical scratches in the film emulsion from the top to the bottom of the frame, but that's the only substantial damage visible in the transfer.

The movie's original analog mono audio track is presented in a two-channel mix that is free of pops, hiss, or other annoyances. The track handles dialogue, effects, and Alfred Newman's (The King and I) bombastic score with aplomb.

Released as part of Universal's budget-conscious Backlot Series, Beau Geste is only supplemented by its original theatrical trailer.

Beau Geste isn't an important film from Hollywood's Golden Age, but it's plenty entertaining. Audiences loved it back in 1939 and are apt to enjoy it today.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

4 Bengalis and an Englishman this ain't.

The Case

Post-World War II India. Culture clash between East and West. A doomed romance. Sounds halfway decent, right?

Unfortunately, the film in question, The Bengali Night, is anything but. In this 1988 work, Hugh Grant (About a Boy) stars as Allan, an engineer who comes to India to build roads and bridges. When he falls ill, he recuperates in the home of his employer, Narendra Sen (Soumitra Chatterjee). While there, he takes a fancy to Sen's teenaged daughter, Gayatri (Supriya Pathak), who reciprocates his feelings. To put it mildly, Gayatri's family is not thrilled about her choice of beau.

That certainly reads like a straightforward plot, but its execution is not. The pacing and editing of The Bengali Night are choppy and confusing; scenes end abruptly, and there's a sense that material is missing from the film. (Posters on IMDb forums indicate that the film is nearly 2 and a half hours; what I watched ran about 108 minutes with credits.) The development of Allan and Gayatri's romance is handled very poorly; there's no fire or passion, or even logic, in the scenes between the two characters. Worse, director and co-writer Nicolas Klotz's (working with Jean-Claude Carrière from a novel by Mircea Eliade) excessively languid pacing means that it takes more than half the movie for Allan and Gayatri to get together. Before this, valuable narrative time is wasted on several characters whose significance to the plot I was never able to parse (more on this later), one of which is a journalist named Lucien Metz (John Hurt in a bizarre extended cameo).

Once Allan and Gayatri are discovered, however, this up-to-this-point slow film suddenly hurtles along at lightning speed. Allan is thrown out of the house, and we learn from a peripheral character about the various fates of Gayatri and her family. Allan is reunited with some of the mysterious characters from the beginning of the film, and strolls off down the street, kicking a tin can. The end.

Even with The Bengali Night's considerable problems, I would have been able to overlook a lot given the film's exotic setting. Unfortunately, most of the film takes place at the Sen home, which means that not only is the film visually uninteresting, but it also feels stagy. Brij Narayan's music helps build atmosphere to a degree, but it's not enough.

With narrative problems like the ones found in The Bengali Night, it's much harder for the actors to make an impression. Grant makes an effort, but his character is poorly written. One moment he's a romantic, the next a snob, another a nervous schoolboy. The same goes for Pathak's Gayatri, who is alternately shy and outspoken. If coherent character arcs had been constructed for Allan and Gayatri, these shifts would make much more sense, but that's just not the case here. The rest of the actors fare better, especially Chatterjee as Mr. Sen and Shabana Azmi as his wife.

In all fairness, my uncertainty about certain elements of The Bengali Night isn't just due to deficiencies in the film's script and editing. Cinema Libre's DVD really doesn't help matters, with a truly awful transfer. The image is soft and blurry, with instances of print damage throughout. The sound is bad as well; I toggled between the film's 2.0 and 5.1 Dolby mixes, but I still had trouble making out significant amounts of dialogue that may have helped clarify what was going on in the film. For extras, Cinema Libre has included a photo gallery and a 25-minute interview with Philippe Diaz, who produced the film. The interview is somewhat interesting but is hard to understand due to Diaz's accent. (No subtitles here, either.)

If you want to know what Hugh Grant was up to during his pre-neurotic-fop years, The Bengali Night is for you. For anyone else, stay far away from this film, or at least this particular DVD of the film.

The Verdict

Guilty.

Three hours worth of cramped hiding...in high-def!

Opening Statement

George Stevens' iconic film adaptation receives an overstuffed Blu-ray, for its 50th anniversary edition.

Facts of the Case

With Europe in the clutches of Nazism and Jews being carted off to concentration camps, 13-year-old Anne Frank (Millie Perkins) joins her family and others in a secret hiding place, dodging the Gestapo, keeping quiet, splitting scraps of food, defusing tensions, and watching their Jewish neighbors disappear around them. This continues for three hours or so, with Anne documenting all the ups and downs in her diary.

The Evidence

Brand me a Philistine, but wow is this movie long. Like old-school long, the kind of epic-length feature that tests the bladder resilience of camels. Not surprising, of course, since it's an adaptation of a stage play, and it certainly feels that way. The script is heavily dialogue-driven, the pacing methodical, and the production almost entirely set in the apartment. Nothing wrong with that, because that's how Anne Frank rolls.

Investing time into this will yield a powerful connection with the story, stunning in the dramatic and emotional punch. Though the single-setting is tough on the attention span, there's another angle that advances the tone. The claustrophobic nature of this true-life ordeal comes across in a hugely effective manner.

Not to resurrect your middle school English class memories, but Holy Crap can you imagine? Two years holding your breath, listening to the radio for any hints of the Allied invasion, suspecting one another of pilfering food, never knowing when the Gestapo is going to break down the door. Creating this atmosphere is what The Diary of Anne Frank excels at.

The real question for fans of the film is this: is it worth the Blu-ray upgrade? Well, maybe there are more important questions, like whether to default on your mortgage, send your children to private school, or turn yourself into the authorities, but whatever. This is a solid Blu-ray.

Black and white doesn't do much to trumpet the visual complexity of high-definition. What you lose in color, you gain significantly in cleanness of transfer. For a 50 year-old release, The Diary of Anne Frank looks terrific, flush with detail and sharp contrast, the shadows and lighting leaping out of the screen. Sound, unfortunately, does not fare as well. The disc sports a DTS-HD Master Audio track, but the audio is just too front-loaded and shrill to take advantage.

The high point of this release are the stellar extras. A commentary with George Stevens Jr. and Millie Perkins opens up into an epic, HD documentary, broken up into several segments dealing with separate elements of the film. The whole thing runs 90 minutes and is a must-see. After that, you've got a Fox Movie Channel spotlight, another large documentary called "The Diary of Anne Frank: Echoes from the Past," an excerpt from "George Stevens: A Filmmaker's Journey," footage of George Stevens' press conference, and Millie Perkins' screen test. Excellent stuff and worthy of the special edition moniker.

Closing Statement

The film's a behemoth, but the pull of the story is inescapable. For fans, I strongly recommend a look at this Blu-ray.

The Verdict

Not Guilty.

Tonight there's gonna be a breakout/ Into the city zones/ Don't you dare to try and stop us/ No one could for long

The Case

Tributes rarely work. While the intentions are always good, the execution of same can be marred by ego, inexperience, and a general failure to complement the subject being celebrated. So when a game Gary Moore, one of several seminal guitarists who worked with the late, great bassist Phil Lynott in the band Thin Lizzy, steps up to offer a one-off concert in commemoration of his fallen mate, there is potential trouble in the attempt. The subject is a literal god in Ireland, a scrappy street kid who grew up to become one of rock's most amazingly lyrical frontmen. And the date chosen coincided with the unveiling of a long demanded statue in Lynott's honor. Bringing in other noted sideman from the "Boys are Back in Town" band, including original drummer Brian Downey and axemen Brian Robertson, Scott Gorham, and Eric Bell, the combination jam and greatest hits collection could have been a disaster. Instead it brings the SRO audience to their feet in unbridled aural delight. And once you have a chance to see and hear it, especially on Blu-ray, you'll completely understand why.

Moore makes up for a limited Lizzy catalog (there is no way they could conceivable mark all the memorable musical moments in the group's varied career) and the still somber facts of Lynott's death (he passed from heart failure and pneumonia in 1986, at 36) by putting on the most personal of public performances. The song list includes tracks from his own solo work as well as all phases of Lizzy's life. They include:

• "Walking By Myself" -- from the 1990 Gary Moore solo album Still Got the Blues
• "Jailbreak" -- from the 1976 Thin Lizzy album Jailbreak
• "Don't Believe a Word" -- from the 1976 Thin Lizzy album Johnny the Fox
• "Emerald" -- from the 1976 Thin Lizzy album Jailbreak
• "Still in Love with You" -- from the 1977 Thin Lizzy album Live and Dangerous
• "Black Rose" -- from the 1979 Thin Lizzy album Black Rose: A Rock Legend
• "Cowboy Song" -- from the 1976 Thin Lizzy album Jailbreak
• "The Boys are Back in Town" -- from the 1976 Thin Lizzy album Jailbreak
• "Whiskey in the Jar" -- traditional, released by Thin Lizzy as a single in 1973
• "Old Town (Excerpt)/Parisienne Walkways" -- from the 1979 Gary Moore solo album Back on the Streets

At a little less than 100 minutes, A Tribute to Phil Lynott might seem slight. But once you hear Moore and his compatriots tear through the various numbers here, length becomes a non-issue. This is a sensational concert, the mix of material perfectly balanced between extended slow burn guitar workouts and seismic metal stomp. As each ex-member of Lizzy's former Fender brigade takes the stage, backed amiably by Downey and Jethro Tull bassist Jonathon Noyce, the connection between the material and the crowd becomes evident. Lynott really spoke to his Irish kinsman, the mix of modern musical signatures and more classical folksong sentiments bringing a unique and very effective sonic force to tunes. This is especially true of "Emerald" and "Black Rose." The sheer power in these offerings overshadows the basic blues stomp of "Walking by Myself" or even the wonderful "Whisky in the Jar."

Regarding the special guests, Gorham gets the most face time, appearing with Moore for almost half of the material. He's got the old school Lizzy looks down pat. Robertson seems a little burnt out, wearing those always hard rock years on his slightly haggard face. Still, the man can rock, and does so mightily. Bell arrives for "Whisky," and that's it. He seems pleased to be part of the celebration. By the end, Moore is covered in sweat, and with good reason. He carries this entire production on his aging, pudgy shoulders, delivering Lynott's signature melodies with the kind of gusto reserved for opera stars. He's simply amazing here, ripping into "Jailbreak" and "Cowboy Song" with giddy abandon. His guitar playing is nothing to sneeze at, either. Always recognized for his sensational solos, Moore uses the breaks in "Black Rose" to fill out traditional tunes like "Danny Boy" with amazing dexterity. Without him, this would be a decent dedication to a fallen legend. With Moore at the helm, this becomes an amazing live experience all its own.

As they usually do with their Blu-ray releases, Eagle Rock Entertainment does a magnificent job with the high definition tech specs -- the most important one being aural reproduction. The DTS HD Master Audio is amazing, full bodied and totally immersive. The crowd is buried deep in the mix, so the live concert experience is somewhat underwhelming, but the overall attention to sonic detail, including the separation between guitars, is just great. There are also LPCM Stereo and Dolby Digital 5.1 mixes, but if you can, stick with the DTS. It is definitive. Visually, the concert suffers from directorial ADD. The 1080i widescreen image (1.78:1) is gorgeous, with an abundance of detail and a stunning sense of immediacy. The man behind the switches, however, can't keep from jump cutting between the players at increasingly irritating rates. Just as Moore is about to lay into a long lead line, the editing moves to Downey keeping a standard downbeat. Huh? We want to see the performances, not indirectly experience them through sloppy switches. Luckily, the sole bonus feature saves this situation. In a collection of interviews, Lynott is remembered by his mates, and it's very moving indeed.

To a teenager growing up in the '70s, Thin Lizzy was the oddball entry in every record collection. While FM radio ritualistically played "The Boys are Back in Town" and "Jailbreak" until they were rote, they represented only a minor part of Phil Lynott's rock and roll legacy. It's fitting that his hometown now houses a statue in his honor. For anyone unable to visit the place of his birth, this Gary Moore tribute is the next best thing. It provides all the aural context you need and delivers a damn fine concert in the process. Finally, an all-star celebration to a fallen figure that actually works -- and works well.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

A journey into the heart of Islam.

The Case

Over the last few years, much has been said about Islam, Muslims, and the Middle East. What has almost never been examined in any great detail is what exactly Islam is. The Koran -- the holy text of the religion of Islam -- may be the most-discussed book in the news that few, if any, TV commentators have ever actually read or even skimmed through. Inside the Koran is an attempt to examine the Koran as a work of literature and spirituality. What does the Koran really say? How has it been interpreted throughout the years, and have any of those interpretations changed or been rendered irrelevant? Director Antony Thomas (who has directed several episodes of Frontline) is clearly asking some very big questions, and if Inside the Koran doesn't answer them fully, it's only because one documentary, no matter how thoroughly researched, couldn't possibly do so. Though Antony makes some directorial missteps, this is a worthy look at an important topic.

In exploring how the Koran is read and interpreted throughout the Muslim world, Antony interviews various Muslims from across the world. Clerics, scholars, housewives, activists, politicians, and students all discuss how they apply what they have read in the Koran to their daily lives. This leads some fascinating moments. Women and clerics disagree, for instance, on the exact interpretation of the verse in the Koran that enjoins women to cover up "that beauty that God has given them." Does that mean that they should cover up their entire faces, leaving only the eyes? Does that mean simply to dress modestly, with a scarf to cover up one's head? This is a debate that has been going on for centuries, and even Muslim women themselves don't agree on what the answer is. It's one of this film's best moments, allowing each viewpoint to get a full airing and making clear how something that seems so elementary could be such a flashpoint for controversy.

In addition to exploring how the Koran affects the daily lives of Muslims, Inside the Koran also examines how the Koran has been used for political and social ends. This is the best part of the film, because Antony has made some extraordinary interviews and discoveries that anyone who is trying to understand how Islam is viewed in the Middle East should see. Antony demonstrates, for instance, how Saudi Arabia has almost singlehandedly devoted itself to exporting Wahabi Islam, a strain of Sunni Islam that is extremely violent and intolerant. It does so as a way to forestall criticism of its autocratic and wealthy regime, but the effects are pernicious. Not only does the Saudi government bankroll Wahabist mosques, clerics, and organizations throughout the world, it even inserts Wahabist commentaries and footnotes (such as anti-Semitic and anti-Christian slurs) into the officially sanctioned Korans it prints and distributes for free throughout the world. Because the Saudi government is the caretaker of Mecca and Medina, two of the three holy sites in Islam, their altered Koran is viewed as the official translation of the Koran, more than any other translation. Antony also explores how the rise of a class of clerics who devote themselves solely to preaching and interpreting the Koran, something unheard of in Islam until recently, has meant that it is harder for scholars who want to analyze how the Koran was written and interpreted to be heard without being attacked as infidels, since the new breed of clerics view scholars as threats to their jobs. These are important details that must be considered when assessing why it sometimes seems that Islam has become increasingly intolerant or hostile. Inside the Koran does an excellent job of putting these facts in the proper context.

For all that Antony does a great job of uncovering some interesting new material, however, he makes a couple of mistakes that make this film not as definitive as it could have been. The first is that he shortchanges discussing the history of Islam and the Koran itself. How exactly was the Koran written? How is it organized? How did it get transcribed and passed along over the years? This is not explained. Similarly, Antony mentions the split behind Sunni and Shia Islam, but doesn't actually explain what the split is or how it emerged from differing interpretations of the Koran rather than the Koran itself. The Sunni/Shia split is the defining event of Islam (see Accomplices section) and it affects every aspect of the religion, so this would have been a prime opportunity for Antony to elaborate on his point on how different interpretations of the Koran can have significant impact.

Antony also tends to go a little overboard with the explicit realism. There's a brief but graphic section on female genital mutilation (or "female circumcision," as one cleric euphemistically refers to it) as well as footage of public executions in Iran and Taliban-era Afghanistan and shots of the 9/11 attacks. These scenes are not included for shock value but to give an overall perspective on how the Koran has been used to justify atrocities and horrific acts. Still, he probably should have toned down some of the explicitness. These scenes stop the film dead and it's awfully hard to concentrate on interviewees proclaiming their love of Allah with the screams of mutilated girls and 9/11 witnesses still ringing in one's ears. Nonetheless, though viewers should be warned that this is not an easy film to watch at times, there is enough good content to justify seeing it.

The non-anamorphic 1.78:1 transfer and stereo mix are both very good. This was mostly shot on well-lit and edited video although a few archival shots look less good, but it's of a generally high quality. Disappointingly, there are no extras. It would have been interesting to see some interview outtakes to get some additional perspective but none are included. Although more squeamish and sensitive viewers might find parts of this film too painful to watch, anyone interested in understanding the roots and importance of Islam should at least give it a look.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

"And so it was that later
as the miller told his tale
that her face, at first just ghostly,
turned a whiter shade of pale"
-- "A Whiter Shade of Pale"

The Case

It seems like an unassailable idea: take an aging but well-respected classic-rock band, pair it with an orchestra and choir, film and record the concert given in front of an audience of appreciative fans, and put together a nicely assembled DVD. Certainly, Eagle Rock has delivered a typically impressive technical package. The anamorphic 1.78:1 transfer is crystal clear. Even if you attended the show, you probably didn't see it as clearly as this DVD looks. The audio mixes, especially the DTS 5.1 Surround mix, are all impeccable. There's plenty of volume to test the toughest sound system, but there's also enough perfectly balanced separation to make a grown man weep. Plus, Procol Harum, the '60s progressive rock outfit responsible for a series of ambitious and inventive singles and albums in the late '60s and early '70s, is a worthy band to commemorate in such fashion. So, Procol Harum: In Concert with the Danish National Concert Orchestra & Choir is a good DVD and that's that, right?

Not exactly. Let's start with the particulars. In Concert was filmed in August 2006 at Denmark's Ledreborg Castle. Here is the set list:

• "Grand Hotel"
• "Something Magic"
• "Butterfly Boys"
• "Homburg"
• "The VIP Room"
• "Fires (Which Burn Brightly)"
• "Nothing But the Truth"
• "Into the Flood"
• "Simple Sister"
• "A Salty Dog"
• "An Old English Dream"
• "Sympathy for the Hard of Hearing"
• "A Whiter Shade of Pale"
• "Whaling Stories"
• "Conquistador"

At first glance, this would seem like a no-brainer since Procol Harum's music has always had a classical element. After all, "A Whiter Shade of Pale," the band's biggest and most celebrated hit, is based on a Bach melody. Plus, Procol Harum was one of the first bands to record a live album with an orchestra. Back in 1971, an earlier incarnation of the band recorded In Concert with the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra, an album that not only helped pave the way for subsequent orchestral collaborations by Emerson, Lake, & Palmer and Metallica, but was also one of Procol Harum's biggest albums in the United States. So this isn't entirely out of character for them.

However, considering how much Procol Harum has done this before, it's genuinely perplexing why the band doesn't really mesh well with the orchestra and chorus. In too many places, the orchestra just adds unnecessary padding, making the music sound muddled when it should just sound full. The string arrangements don't uncover new dimensions in these songs; instead, they just rehash the melodies that the band itself is already playing, resulting in an unsatisfying hodgepodge of sounds. The choir is even worse -- the vocal harmonies are so cloying that they end up sounding unintentionally comical. "A Whiter Shade of Pale," one of the most haunting and evocative songs ever recorded, should not sound like it was written for a corny death scene in a low-budget animated movie.

The orchestra and choir are especially redundant when you realize that the band itself actually sounds quite solid. As fans know, Procol Harum was never a "band of brothers" united to take on the world. Lead singer/keyboardist Gary Brooker co-wrote virtually all of the band's songs with lyricist Keith Reid and then assembled a rotating cast of musicians to perform them. In the past, that's resulted in immensely talented musicians like guitarist Robin Trower and drummer B.J. Wilson playing with the band. For this show, Brooker has put together a solid band, including former Big Country drummer Mark Brzezicki and ex-Back Street Crawler guitarist Geoff Whitehorn. They actually play quite well as a group together even if they've essentially been cobbled together piecemeal. Of course, Brooker holds the limelight and his rich bluesy voice is in fine form, but the rest of the band members provide reliable back-up as well. Plus, the set list is well-assembled, drawing on most of the best songs from the band's career and mixing hits like "Conquistador" and "A Salty Dog" with more obscure but no less worthy album tracks. This concert would have been quite enjoyable without the intrusion of the orchestra and choir; why add needless clutter?

Fittingly enough, this DVD actually includes an even better example of just how great Procol Harum can sound just playing as a five-piece. In 1974, an earlier line-up of the band filmed a six-song set at a Danish TV studio for a special that only aired in Denmark. This disc includes the entire performance as an extra. Here is the set list for that show:

• "Bringing Home the Bacon"
• "Toujours L'Amour"
• "Grand Hotel"
• "The Devil Came From Kansas"
• "The Idol"
• "Butterfly Boys"

This is a spectacular performance, easily worth the cost of the disc for fans. Playing mostly material from the albums Grand Hotel (1973) and Exotic Birds and Fruit (1974), Procol Harum sounds phenomenal, cranking out fiery versions of guitar-heavy rockers like "Bringing Home the Bacon" while giving the gorgeous "Grand Hotel" the beautifully sensitive performance it deserves. It's likely most viewers will maybe give the orchestral performance one or two plays but return most frequently to this one.

Then again, who could blame them? This is a technically impressive DVD but the concert itself was simply a misguided idea. Procol Harum could have delivered an interesting performance by itself, but the additional musicians and singers add little of value. Hardcore fans will want the '74 material, but it's hard to see anyone else really getting much pleasure out of the main concert. Track down the band's classic albums instead.

The Verdict

Guilty of adding unnecessary clutter.

"It was done in Gone With the Wind, actually. Not many people know that. Those are Japanese people, and we just dubbed in American voices."
-- Woody Allen, explaining the central conceit of What's Up, Tiger Lily?

The Case

The world's greatest egg salad recipe has been stolen! On the case: special Japanese agent -- Phil Moscowitz??? Assisting him, the Yaki sisters, Suki and Teri. The mission: get the recipe and sell it for $1 million to the wealth Wing Fat -- an egg-salad addict who, as Phil says, has "a chicken on his back."

What's Up, Tiger Lily? is legend, an experiment that was daring experiment for its time, though now can be found in hundreds of clips on YouTube. Woody Allen took a confusing Japanese spy movie, rewrote it as a comedy, got a bunch of talented friends to supply the voices, and created a silly, funny movie.

At 30, Allen had already been on the comedy scene for more than a decade. He'd written for television, including Sid Caesar and Garry Moore's programs, done his own stand-up, and had written and appeared in What's New Pussycat, a slightly smarmy, of-the-time-hip success that starred Peter Sellers. Allen's nebbishy appearance and gag-a-minute humor caught on, making him a hot property.

When American International purchased the rights to a bad Japanese spy thriller, they hired Allen to make it over as a comedy. Changing a spy story about stolen microfilm into a spy story about a stolen egg-salad recipe, the film featured what would become Allen's trademarks, including gags both clever and groany, ethnic humor, and lots of silly sex jokes. It was idiotic and clever, a forerunner of the sort of thing that Mystery Science Theater 3000 would build on 20 years later. Audiences in 1966 had never seen such a thing on the big screen, and What's Up, Tiger Lily? was an unlikely success. Although Allen himself appeared in only a few minutes of the film -- as the "author" of the enterprise -- What's Up, Tiger Lily? was another step toward making him one of the most recognizable names and faces in comedy in the late 20th century.

While it's dated quite a bit, and the novelty has long since worn off, What's Up, Tiger Lily? is still a very funny film. The gags come fast and furious, with a "throw everything out and see if it sticks" sensibility. To attract a "youth audience" and pad out the running time, some completely unrelated footage of The Lovin' Spoonful performing a couple of songs was added. John Sebastian's group had also in 1966 done songs for Francis Ford Coppola's You're a Big Boy Now, amping up Tiger Lily's cool considerably -- although Allen, who had not been consulted about the inclusion of these scenes, was said to have been unhappy about them. The music sequences do tend to bog the film down a bit, and coming out of nowhere, they make the already-confusing on-screen antics that much harder to follow. On the other hand, it's always great to hear this group, and who could resist that ultra-'60's credit sequence, with the ridiculously catchy "Pow!" playing while a Woody Allen cartoon interacts with mod-looking still shots of sexy Asian women?

I was excited to see that Image was releasing a new edition of What's Up, Tiger Lily? Their 2003 release was pretty good, with a solid picture and a neat bonus: an alternate audio track, one that was ever-so-slightly racier than the one that had been playing on TV for years. In addition, there was a comparison between the two tracks, so you could hear exactly what you'd been missing during all those TV broadcasts, and a fairly useless Woody Allen filmmography. I was hoping that this release would bring even more -- maybe some trailers, a vintage "making of," interviews with Louise Lasser or some other people involved with the production.

Sadly, that's not the case. This isn't a re-release with new material, it's merely a re-issue of the earlier disc. It was a good disc then and it's a good disc now, but if you're looking to upgrade, forget about it. The only thing new here is a change on the DVD case, where a quote from critic Judith Crist is replaced with a red splash touting the alternate track -- "Twice the Laughs! Includes Theatrical and Television Audio Tracks!" Other than that small red splash, this package is identical to the one released in 2003.

The Verdict

While this re-issue is a disappointment for anyone looking for some new supplements, it shouldn't reflect badly on the film. What's Up, Tiger Lily? is a comedy classic that's still pretty funny. The film is not guilty, but Image Entertainment gets a warning for this pointless double dip.

It's the hottest day of the summer. You can do nothing, you can do something, or you can do the right thing.

Opening Statement

Do the Right Thing is sad, funny, tragic, horrifying, infuriating, and astonishing all at the same time. There are scenes, lines, and aspects of this film that will outrage viewers and amuse them as well. It's a big, loud, sloppy, imperfect film, and how could it not be? No other film of the time (or even today) is as bold in addressing the lethal third rail of American society: race. Some may be put off by some of the choices made by director/writer/actor Spike Lee (Inside Man) -- they may find the film offensive, ham-fisted, or even irresponsible. Love the film or hate it, however, it simply can't be ignored. Do the Right Thing is an essential part of any film buff's experience and, for the most part, this new 20th anniversary edition does it justice.

Facts of the Case

Mookie (Lee) is a pizza deliveryman for Sal's Famous Pizzeria in Bed-Stuy, Brooklyn, New York. Sal (Danny Aiello, Leon: The Professional), the owner, runs the business with his two sons, the outspokenly racist Pino (John Turturro, Transformers) and his younger and more tolerant brother Vito (Richard Edson, Platoon). On the hottest day of the summer, Mookie, Pino, Sal, and such Bed-Stuy denizens as elderly patriarch Da Mayor (Ossie Davis, Evening Shade), hotheaded loudmouth Buggin' Out (Giancarlo Esposito, Homicide: Life on the Street), and surly Public Enemy fanatic Radio Raheem (Bill Nunn, Regarding Henry) all argue and squabble with each other until the day's end, when long-simmering tensions result in an unexpected climax.

The Evidence

Twenty years later, Do the Right Thing remains one of the most provocative and unusual films ever made. Even by today's standards, when offbeat experimentalism has made a greater inroad into mainstream filmmaking and hip-hop has created a whole new level of racial awareness, it's astonishing to see that Spike Lee was trying something so bold and experimental. Back in 1989, movie audiences who had been spoon-fed a decade's worth of Stallone/Schwarzenegger/Simpson-Bruckheimer action pap were simply cold-cocked. Lee has taken an extremely incendiary topic and approached it with explicit realism and brutal honesty. However, he has directed the film in a deliberately stylized and artificial way that doesn't overshadow or undercut the film's impact -- it actually heightens and emphasizes it. This juxtaposition makes Do the Right Thing a remarkable achievement, one in which the experimental nature of the technique actually complements the material.

Do the Right Thing works on two levels. In the writing and characterization, it addresses racism and bigotry in painfully unflinching terms. Pino's slurs and insults aren't the least bit sanitized -- he refers to the predominantly black neighborhood around the pizzeria as "Planet of the Apes" and slings the n-word around like an adjective. A pair of white cops circles the block repeatedly, glaring at the residents, and being received by the community as a hostile invading force. The Korean family that opens a grocery store across the street from the pizzeria is subject to taunts and insults from the "Cornermen," the three black men (played by Frankie Faizon, Paul Benjamin, and Robin Harris) who do nothing but sit around all day on the street corner and shoot the breeze. On and on, circles of mistrust turning into hostility and culminating in a climax so shocking that it will surely leave all viewers, no matter what their views are, aghast.

What Lee does with this material, however, is just as interesting. Do the Right Thing, for all its emotional grittiness, is surprisingly stylized, even artificial. Almost all of the characters speak directly to the camera, even in dialogue scenes, and many of them are shot against walls or buildings. Colors are unnaturally vivid; the wall the Cornermen sit next to, for instance, is a painfully bright red that suggests heat and anger. The infamous "racial slurs" montage, in which various characters taunt other characters with the crudest racial epithets imaginable, is deliberately cartoonish, even comical. Do the Right Thing, in fact, could almost work as a stage play -- the limited locations and dialogue-heavy script could have, in lesser hands, come off as some sort of stilted Writing 101 exercise.

Why is Lee doing this? On one level, the heightened artificiality makes it easier for audiences to swallow material that might otherwise alienate them. The deliberately cartoonish montages, odd camera angles, and vivid colors make Do the Right Thing a visual feast that makes it easier for viewers to accept the sometimes shocking dialogue. You really are hearing the raw, unvarnished truth about race in America, but it's presented in such an artistically compelling way that it doesn't feel like a humorless screed. In fact, what the stylized direction does is put the viewer in the middle of the story. Characters aren't two-dimensional figures arguing on a screen -- they're arguing with you. The perspective shots are seen from someone who's actually on the street or in the pizzeria, not a passive viewer. Whenever Radio Raheem wields his titanic boom box that blasts Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" on an endless loop as a weapon of intimidation, you will feel as intimidated as the other characters do. When the tensions between Sal and Buggin' Out finally culminate in a climactic confrontation, the viewer is in the middle for every gripping second of it. That's why one of the final shots in the film, showing a character pinning up a picture of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X on a wall as "Fight the Power" plays one last time, remains one of the most shattering in all of cinema. That's the moment when the audience understands, not just intellectually but also viscerally, exactly what has happened and why. The critics who claimed at the time of the film's release that it would provoke violence were misguided, but they did grasp, however dimly, just what an emotionally disturbing experience Do the Right Thing is. What other film about race in America could possibly have had such an impact?

For this new 20th Anniversary Edition, Universal has remastered the picture and remixed a brand new Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround mix in three languages. The new audio mix is very good. It's loud and clear, although the surrounds aren't used as fully as they could have been, especially in outdoor scenes. The new transfer, however, is a bit disconcerting. Do the Right Thing was previously issued in a two-disc Criterion set, and the transfer on that set was extremely vivid and bright. This one is slightly darker and less distinct. Maybe this is a more accurate depiction of the look Lee and cinematographer Ernest Dickerson (Juice) were trying for, but it actually seems like a step back from the previous Criterion transfer. Maybe Lee himself might at some point confirm that this is a more accurate transfer, but until then some fans might be a bit taken aback by it.

As for extras, this two-disc set is stuffed to the gills. Almost all of the extras from the Criterion set have been ported over, except for the "Fight the Power" video and a few video introductions by Lee. There's the original commentary with Lee, Dickerson, production designer Wynn Thomas, and Lee's sister Joie, who plays Mookie's sister Jade. It's a dense and informative commentary that shows how Lee and the crew worked together to make the film look and sound exactly as it does. On disc two, there's a collection of Lee's video journals called "Behind the Scenes" (57:57), which is also visible in separate segments. Each one shows different aspects, from cast rehearsals to pre-production to shooting, all the way to the wrap party. It can be a bit of a slog at times, but there are some wonderfully revealing moments from some of the cast. "Making Do the Right Thing" (60:59) is the original 1989 EPK shot for the film, containing behind-the-scenes footage and cast and crew interviews. Some of the depictions of life in Bed-Stuy are heart-breaking, but nonetheless it's the best of the extras on this disc. "Back to Bed-Stuy" (4:50) is a video segment shot in the '90s as Lee and line producer Jon Kilik revisit the locations they used for filming. "Editor Barry Brown" (9:39) is an interview with the film's editor. Both of these give credit to two of the unsung heroes behind the making of the film and are worth a look. "Cannes 1989" (42:21) is the complete press conference from the 1989 Cannes Film Festival, where Do the Right Thing competed but lost to Sex, Lies & Videotape. Many of the questions that journalists ask the cast and crew seem laughably naïve in retrospect, but this segment just demonstrates how unusual a film of this magnitude was at the time. Finally, the set includes the original trailer and TV spots as well as storyboards for the film's climactic sequence.

For this new edition, Universal has commissioned a new set of extras that are very well-done. The best is a new 20th Anniversary Commentary with Lee by himself. Lee hasn't always been very good at solo commentaries (the one for Bamboozled was especially disappointing), but for this one, he actually delivers some real meat. He's full of brand-new stories and memories that he's never shared previously, and he has plenty to say on the film's view of racial politics in the Obama era. It's a must for fans. "Do the Right Thing: 20 Years Later" (35:46) consists of new interviews with various cast and crew members after a 20th anniversary screening of the film. There's some overlap with Lee's new commentary, but many of the participants, especially Turturro and Public Enemy's Chuck D, have some funny anecdotes to tell. Finally, there are newly uncovered "Deleted and Extended Scenes" (14:14). These just add little bits of dialogue and characterization that are worth seeing but were deservedly excised from the film's final cut.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Is Lee's approach too heavy handed? It must be said that, at times, Lee seems too intent on hammering home his points at the expense of subtlety. When characters recite the names of black people who were killed in incidents of police brutality in the '80s, when Lee sets a scene in front of a wall reading "Tawana told the truth!" (in a reference to the infamous Tawana Brawley incident), the film pretty much stops cold. In all fairness, Lee made such points because he felt he was the only one who could -- what other mainstream studio film of the 1980s would have references to these events? Still, this is Lee at his least confident and it tends to undermine the overall effect he is trying for. Lee's stylistic experiment mostly works but here he crosses the line into simply lecturing his audience.

Also, it must be said that Do the Right Thing is not as universal as Lee intended it to be. Though both he and Turturro claim in various places on this set that the film could easily work as a portrait of race relations across America, that's not entirely true. The emotions and sentiments expressed are widespread, yes, but the actual situations and references are extremely New York-centric. This doesn't lessen the film's impact, necessarily, but it does mean that viewers who don't live in New York or any other big Eastern city with racially segregated neighborhoods might not quite identify with some of the characters' circumstances. Those who do put in the effort to relate to the characters will be rewarded, but the film will require some work from some viewers.

Closing Statement

Do the Right Thing remains a landmark in American film -- maybe the first and most important film to understand race relations at the beginning of the hip-hop era. Twenty years later, hip-hop sensibility has overtaken virtually every aspect of popular culture, the United States is more multicultural than ever, and we have just elected a black president. These facts don't render Do the Right Thing irrelevant; on the contrary, they demonstrate just how important the debate the film provoked was and how justly proud Lee can be for making it. Apart from the perplexing quality of the visual transfer (which may, in fact, be deliberate), this new 20th Anniversary Edition surpasses the previous Criterion edition and stands as the definitive version to own. Anyone who cares about American film needs to see it.

The Verdict

Do the Right Thing is most assuredly not guilty and deserves its accolades. This new edition, apart from a quibble or two, is also acquitted.

It's the hottest day of the summer. You can do nothing, you can do something, or you can...

Opening Statement

Anyone who has seen Do The Right Thing will immediately and forever associate the innocuous value of "nineteen eighty-nine!" to the Public Enemy anthem "Fight The Power," a song recorded specifically to be the rallying and omnipresent anthem of violence and frustration in Spike Lee's controversial film. Like the song itself, Do The Right Thing is inflammatory, raucous, inspirational, and aggravating; a powerful statement on race relations in America during a particularly challenging period in New York history, a daring project that put Lee on the map as one of America's most political and meaningful filmmakers.

To celebrate its twentieth anniversary, Universal comes out swinging at the longstanding champion Criterion edition with newly recorded commentary, featurettes, and up-to-date Blu-Ray visuals and sound, all while lowering the price tag for consumers. Is the Criterion edition of Do The Right Thing finally about to be dethroned?

Facts of the Case

1989, Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn. In the middle of the worst heat wave of the year, Mookie (Spike Lee) wakes up and heads to his job at Sal's Pizzeria, run by the eponymous Sal (Danny Aiello) and his two sons Pino (John Turturro) and Vito (Richard Edson). Sal has been in the same location for the last twenty-five years, and has watched the neighborhood change and become ethnically diverse. His eldest son in particular loathes the black populace, but Sal tries to be indifferent. These are his people, sort of. He watched them grow up on his pizza. Mookie doesn't really appreciate the job, or his girl (Rosie Perez), interested only in the paycheck.

The street soon fills up with assorted faces, locals and regulars, residents of the neighborhood. Three unemployed black men sit idly on the street in chairs, lamenting the new Korean convenience store. Da Mayor (Ossie Davis) roams the street like a king, but is in reality a penniless wino, endlessly seeking the affections of Mother Sister (Ruby Dee), the local matriarch. Radio Raheem (Bill Nunn) totes a boom box blasting Public Enemy throughout the streets, looking for trouble. Buggin' Out (Giancarlo Esposito) lectures his friends on black politics and rages against the slow, inexorable gentrification of Bed-Stuy. The local radio DJ (Samuel L. Jackson) tries to keep things cool, but slowly, inexorably, the heat wave gets the best of the neighborhood. Racial tensions bubble and boil over into conflict and violence.

The Evidence

A product of its time, Do The Right Thing is now two decades old. Watching the film today is akin to trolling through a time capsule; we see fragments of music, clothing, and culture forgotten, and are surprised by both what has change and what has remained the same. Much of the inflammatory anger that pervaded the film back on its release in 1989 was rooted directly in Ed Koch-era city politics and in publicized events of racial strife, like the Howard Beach incident and the police killing of Eleanor Bumpurs. It would be silly to suggest that racism is a non-issue in modern New York City, but two decades of progress and a dramatic change in the White House have likewise taken their toll, but for the better.

Set amidst a scorching heat wave, Do The Right Thing uses color, tone, and heat as a catalyst to ignite a powder keg of racial intolerance and resentment. The neighborhood of Bedford-Stuyvesant in Brooklyn, having experienced significant ethnic shakeups since World War II, is full of Italians, African-Americans, Koreans, and Puerto Ricans, all barely tolerant of one another during the most amicable of times. Do The Right Thing is a brutally humanistic film, catching all men and woman in the same net of intolerance and frustration. Bed-Stuy is a melting pot, and the flames are on the rise.

Like a large army, the cast is set in motion over the course of a single day like tiny biological experiments, swirling and interacting like creatures in an aquarium, breathing the same oxygen but constantly feuding over territory, position, and pecking order. Mookie is lazy and greedy, desiring the fine things in life but not having the work ethic to acquire them, nor the responsibility to do right by his child. Radio Raheem is uncompromisingly fierce and proud, but angry, not having any idea how to express himself beyond a gigantic boom box blaring "Fight the Power," his very presence a disturbance causing constant conflict. Buggin' Out is educated and opinionated but xenophobic, eager to advance the black cause by constantly picking the wrong battles, like trying to get Sal to put up black photographs on the Wall of Fame. Sal is kind and caring, but also old-fashioned and curmudgeonly; he welcomes all into his store, but will as quickly reach for a baseball bat if challenged to authority, unable to comprehend the lack of respect of the new generation. Da Mayor prowls the street like a king surveying his kingdom, but is in essence a penniless wino. Everyone has a role to play, a niche to fill, and as the film twirls and roasts its cast in the heat wave, anger and aggression and resentment come pouring out with disastrous results. In the aftermath, who is to blame? Everyone has a part to play in Bed-Stuy, everyone assigned a position on the game board. No one piece is more or less important than the next.

Spike Lee acts as writer, director, producer, and actor here. While the latter might not be quite up to par with his amazing cast (many familiar faces make early appearances here, like Martin Lawrence, Samuel L. Jackson, and Rosie Perez), Do The Right Thing remains one of Lee's most instantly recognizable and iconic works. This is not his first feature-length film, but it is the one where he finds his voice and his creative muse. Along with longtime cinematographer Ernest Dickerson, we see the development of trademark close-ups, handheld camera work, and striking use of primary color, as well as original music and political and racial politics, elements that go on to define Lee's career as a filmmaker. Multiple narratives intermingle and entwine throughout the film to weave a tapestry of daily life in Bed-Stuy, a mix of pride and resentment on behalf of its denizens. Its third act cumulates into confusion and destruction in ways both expected and alarming. This is a film of mixed messages, of muted moral convictions. Spike Lee is at his best as a filmmaker not talking about black issues, but talking about human issues: greed, racism, sexism, and intolerance, the disquiets in men's hearts that lead us into violence and confrontation.

At its debut, many film critics mused whether such a film would incite violence in American cities, but questions like this miss the point of the film entirely. This is not a film of racial tension, of blacks versus whites, or any other combination of ethnicity. I mentioned earlier about the humanistic nature of Do The Right Thing, a film about human beings, of education and culture and reason, of logic in the face of passion. Black politics are certainly explored, but within the spectrum of American city living -- not only how black Americans get along with other cultures and ethnicities, but how they interact with themselves. This is a film about human-centered values above all else. That things go so badly for everyone involved is an expression of Spike Lee's particularly exacerbated opinion of New York City in the late eighties. It is a carefully orchestrated disaster of humanistic proportions, a microcosmic self-destruction and boiling over of tensions both great and small, of offenses real and imagined. It is almost surreal in its hazy, primary color-saturated incarnation, but also embarrassingly and brutally believable. We sympathize so easily with Sal, with Mookie, with every character in Do The Right Thing that there can be no other outcome to the events depicted. No one is ever entirely in the right. We are told by Da Mayor to always do the right thing, but there is no guarantee made as to the outcome.

Now for the fun part! A large majority of readers of this review will be interested in whether this new edition stacks up to the quite excellent de facto standard, the Do The Right Thing: Criterion Collection edition of the film. It stacks very well. The previous Criterion release has a noticeably orange-tinted and hazy transfer, one approved by cinematographer Ernest Dickerson, a stylistic choice to heighten the heat-induced mania. The first thing to note about this new edition is that this filtering is less pronounced, offering up a more naturalistic and balanced color palate. The change is dramatic when comparing the two side-by-side; the orange filtering so over-the-top as to look oversaturated and unnatural (which was the point, of course). The Blu-Ray retains some of the hazy, saturated color palate, but by dropping the extreme oversaturation, the picture is far less distorting, less muddling -- but also less dramatic, less tense and sauna-like. This is the classic tradeoff; we lose some of the stylistic and cinematic color punch in exchange for a better-looking picture. A really, really better looking picture, as it turns out.

It isn't even a fair contest. Not even a Criterion DVD -- especially one eight years old -- can match up to the Blu-Ray treatment. The previous Criterion edition gets blown out of the water by the dramatic increase in fidelity and sharpness of this edition. The trademark tight facial shots and zooms show perfect detail on facial pores and the ever-present beads of sweat on faces. This is not a scrubbed and crystal-clean transfer; some print damage and speckling is evident on the transfer with noticeable grain, but only as much as the film would naturally contain. Audio comes in DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1, which is well-balanced throughout all channels, clear in dialogue, and punchy in bass. Music plays an important part in the film, Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" emanating endlessly throughout, and it sounds fantastic, interwoven with endless saxophone solos and Bill Lee's score. The rear channels are used consistently throughout the film for environmental effects and show good action, especially in the third act when everything hits the fan. DTS 5.1 Surround dub tracks are also included for French and Spanish speakers.

More good news for admirers of the previous Criterion edition, as the vast majority of the content has been ported over. What little gets lost is easily replaced by new content created exclusively for the twentieth anniversary of the film. Two feature commentary tracks are included -- a newly recorded track by director Spike Lee, and the previous edition version with director Spike Lee, director of photography Ernest Dickinson, production designer Wynn Thomas, and actor Joie Lee. We see the return of a 60-minute documentary, "Making Do The Right Thing," a behind-the-scenes video recording created by Spike Lee during the filming of Do The Right Thing, an interview with editor Barry Brown, storyboards of the riot sequence, and footage from the 1989 Cannes Film Festival press conference. One downside is that this content is all in standard definition, having simply been copied from a previous DVD version. Exclusive to the new edition are a brand-new 35-minute retrospective documentary with cast and crew discussing the film after twenty years, and 15 minutes of deleted and extended sequences (both in HD) as well as some BD-Live features that were inaccessible at the time of review. With over four hours of supplemental features crammed on this disc, this is about as authoritative an edition as one can get.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Few will argue against the cultural relevance and importance of Do The Right Thing, but many debate its message and morals. Quixotic and contradictory messages about violence and righteousness make Do The Right Thing a tough film to digest, depending on how you perceive the allegory. Few will defend Lee's portrayal of the police as faceless and uncaring mercenaries -- a heavy handed, blunt characterization that feels like an ugly war on an otherwise well-thought and complex narrative.

Do The Right Thing is an important film, but as the eighties get further and further away with the passing of time, it begins to feel dated. Consider that our previous review of the film, Do The Right Thing: Criterion Collection, was penned almost ten years ago -- has it really been that long? The world preserved in this film is not the world of today, a fact even Lee himself admits in the twentieth anniversary retrospective interview.

Closing Statement

It is a rare occasion that a Criterion edition of a film gets trumped in presentation and content, but Universal aimed high with this one. Do The Right Thing (Blu-Ray) contains virtually all the material on the difficult-to-find Criterion edition, plus new content, and the Blu-Ray transfer is top-notch. It offers a better transfer, better audio, more content, and a cheaper MSRP. This is now far and away the best version of the film available.

As for the film itself, Do The Right Thing is as close to a masterpiece as Spike Lee may ever make, a powerful and poignant statement on class and race relations in America that even two decades later stands up as a classic of American cinema.

The Verdict

Not guilty. If you only have one Spike Lee film in your collection, this edition deserves to be it.

Every kid has a great ballplayer they look up to. Kenny Powers is not that guy.

Opening Statement

I have an odd relationship with Jody Hill, movie director and co-creator of the new HBO comedy series Eastbound & Down. His first movie, The Foot Fist Way, was hyped as the second coming of comedy by some funny people I respect (chiefly Patton Oswalt). Its lead actor, Danny McBride, was going to be the next comedy superstar. But the movie barely received a theatrical release (and wouldn't have received one at all, if not for having been rescued by benefactors Will Ferrell and Adam McKay), so I missed it back when it only played on one screen here in Chicago. When I finally caught up with it on DVD, I felt a little let down. It wasn't a bad movie, and clearly announced the voice of a new comedic talent, but it felt a bit shaggy and one-note to me.

Then, Hill released his second film: this year's Observe and Report. I had liked the trailer and saw enough promise in The Foot Fist Way to check it out, and I was surprised by my reaction. It's a masterpiece. Gone was the shaggy, low-budgetedness of Foot Fist; Hill demonstrated himself a formalist on par with Wes Anderson. The point of view was stronger; rather than just seeing a story about a guy (like Foot Fist), Observe and Report seemed to spring directly from the demented brain of its hero, Ronnie Barnhardt (played not by McBride but by Seth Rogen). I couldn't get the movie out of my head for days, and was stunned by the effect it had had on me. Here it is, months later, and it's still on a short list as one of my favorite movies of 2009.

All of this brings me to HBO's Eastbound & Down, a show I came to specifically because of my affection for Observe and Report. I'm happy to say that the series is closer to that film than to Foot Fist Way (again, not to bag on that movie; I know there are many who love it and consider it the best thing Hill's done). I don't know if Jody Hill has gotten better or if I've just warmed to his particular sensibility, but count me among Eastbound's small but fervent cult of fans.

Facts of the Case

The series focuses on Kenny Powers (McBride), once the bad boy of professional baseball known for cursing, partying and pitching a faster fastball than any player in the league. But the years weren't kind to Kenny, and as his pitch began to slow down so did public goodwill and adoration. Eventually, Kenny retires from baseball in pseudo-disgrace, moving back in with his brother (John Hawkes, Me and You and Everyone We Know) and his family and substitute teaching physical education at the high school. That's OK, though, because Kenny has never given up the dream; this little detour is merely part of his master plan to stage a huge comeback, regain his celebrity and win back the heart of the girl he once left behind (Katy Mixon, The Quiet).

The Evidence

The masterstroke of Eastbound & Down is in the performance by Danny McBride as Kenny Powers. McBride had a bit of a rough start in Hollywood; he was built up as a guy primed to explode (again, mostly by comedians I like and who should know), but for a while was mostly relegated to supporting roles in small, little-seen comedies like Hot Rod, Drillbit Taylor and the lamentable remake of The Heartbreak Kid. What's worse is that he was rarely allowed to be funny in any of them. It wasn't really until his sublime performance in Pineapple Express that I realized just how incredibly funny he could be, as he stole that film from a whole bunch of really funny people. Even that performance now seems like a warm-up for Kenny Powers (though the characters couldn't be more different), easily the character McBride was born to play and one of the funniest, best-realized comic creations on TV in a decade.

Eastbound, like Observe and Report, works so well because it's told entirely from the perspective of Kenny Powers. He's not just the main character -- it's his mind that's up on the screen. There are scenes that become slow-motion bouts of coolness (either Jody Hill or his music supervisor have excellent taste) because that's the way Kenny sees himself. Never mind that the rest of the world -- save for the sycophantic Stevie (Steve Little, The Ugly Truth), a nerdy wanna-be Kenny Powers -- isn't quite on the same page. Throughout the season, Kenny experiences highs and lows both thrilling and sad, including an arc where he attempts to do away with any of his Kenny Powers-ness and become "just like everyone else." It's my favorite of the six episodes, and probably the show where McBride's gifts shine the brightest.

DVD is actually an ideal way to watch Eastbound & Down: The Complete First Season. The six episodes that make up the first season were conceived almost as one long film (each new episode picks up at the moment the last one left off), meaning you can watch the whole thing as one piece rather than breaking it up from week to week. HBO's DVD set looks and sounds good, with a bright and sharp anamorphic widescreen transfer and a surprisingly powerful 5.1 audio track (again, the music cues are great).

HBO, who has never been known to include a ton of extras on their DVD releases, has even seen fit to fill Eastbound & Down: The Complete First Season with a good offering of bonus material. There are three commentaries (on the pilot, episode four and the season finale) with Hill, McBride, co-creator Ben Best and director David Gordon Green (who helmed two of the episodes, with Hill taking another two and Adam McKay rounding out the trio of directors). It's fun to hear the foursome talk about the show and what they find funny, and provides some insight into what makes Eastbound & Down such a unique series.

There are a couple of featurettes, including a standard behind-the-scenes and three in-character pieces: two car commercials for guest star Will Ferrell's dealership and the awesome comeback video Stevie makes, available here as a separate selection in its entirety. There's also a reel of deleted scenes and another for outtakes, which contains a lot of very funny ad-libbing by guest star Ferrell.

Closing Statement

The good news is that HBO has already renewed Eastbound & Down for a second season, meaning we haven't seen the last of Kenny Powers. McBride has created a brilliant, iconic character in a show that revels in bad behavior and the delusions of the pitiful. Maybe that doesn't sound funny to you. I get that. But this isn't comedy of embarrassment or awkwardness -- don't confuse its humor with Meet the Parents. Kenny Powers may be pathetic, but his confidence and defiance borders on triumphant. I, for one, love him for it.

The Verdict

Not guilty. Long may Kenny Powers reign -- though, more likely, for just one more season.

Bound by desire.

Opening Statement

It's Jada Pinkett Smith's directorial debut and she somehow makes Paz Vega parading around in translucent lingerie lethally boring.

Facts of the Case

Julian Wright (Jason Clarke) is a big deal honcho in a lucrative marketing firm, on the cusp of achieving his life's ambitions by scoring a huge merger deal that will pay out millions. Just as he's about to make those dreams comes true, he meets an exotic woman (Vega) who bewitches him with her flowing hair, sexy accent, skimpy underwear, and erotic acrobatics. No sooner does he get his illicit affair on, Julian's life hits a tailspin, alienating friends, family, and coworkers, jeopardizing his promotion, and flirting with self-destructive violent outbursts.

The Evidence

That synopsis may sound kind of cool, interesting, and sexy, but trust me...The Human Contract is mind-numbing. First-time director Jada Pinkett Smith has a nice visual touch and can develop a stressful atmosphere, but her pacing and storytelling needs some serious help.

At its heart, The Human Contract is the simplest of stories: successful man meets mysterious woman, falls in love, has a secret, and emotionally implodes. The End. There may be other themes bubbling beneath the surface, like the question of why a man who has everything must pursue the unattainable, or how the true nature of lust and control lays to waste everything on the periphery, blah blah blah. In a film as dreadfully slow as The Human Contract, those messages are drowned in a quagmire of tedium.

The biggest problem is that not a single character here is worth investing in. As the molasses-slow narrative marches on, I didn't give a fig, making the viewing that much more of an endurance trial. Idris Elba is worth rooting for, but that's just because the guy's an awesome actor and I want to see him get as much screen time as possible (alas, he's wasted here as Julian's lawyer/ignored-conscience). Both Julian and his wife aren't terrific people. The former is an impulse-driven crybaby, the latter a manipulative weirdo. Julian can't seem to get it into his head that the only cost for having a carnal relationship with someone who looks as hot as Paz Vega is to not go all crazy over the fact that she's married to some guy who doesn't mind his wife boinking other dudes. Now I'm not endorsing infidelity or aggressive limo sex with strangers, but if that's your scene -- as it is obviously Julian's -- don't look a gift horse in the mouth, nancy-boy!

This one may be geared towards R-rated content surveyors, but don't let the "Strong sexual content" warning fool you. For a film built solely on unbridled libido and lingerie, there is no nudity here. I suppose you could classify the limo scene as "strong," but that's mostly for the fully-clothed gyrations and grimacing. Hey, it doesn't make a bit of difference to me. The disc art, though, seems intent on pushing the erotic angle of the film.

My disappointment aside, The Human Contract is a well-staged film and carries a solid noir sense into its clean 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. Two 5.1 tracks (English and French) supplement. Extras: Commentary from Pinkett Smith and cinematographer Darren Genet, and a pair of solid making-of featurettes.

Closing Statement

Don't sign this Contract. You may risk a coma.

The Verdict

Guilty of Overusage of the Fast Forward Button in the Third Degree.

Jen: "With all due respect John, I am the head of IT and I have it on good authority. If you type 'Google' into Google, you can break the Internet. So please, no one try it, even for a joke. It's not a laughing matter. You can break the Internet."

Roy: "Yeah, you do know how a button works, don't you? No, not on clothes. No, there you go, I just heard it come on. No, that's the music you hear when it comes on. No, that's the music you hear when...I'm sorry, are you from the past?"

Opening Statement

The IT triumvirate of Reynholm Industries is back for another season and, while still banished to their basement offices, they manage to have some wacky new adventures with a bad bra, a German cannibal, a gay musical (ironically called "Gay"), and many more outrageous situations.

Facts of the Case

Far from their beautiful and successful colleagues in the gleaming tower above, socially stunted Roy (Chris O'Dowd), über nerd Moss (Richard Ayoade), and technically inept Jen (Katherine Parkinson) keep their colleague's computers running smoothly. After former boss Denholm jumps from a boardroom window rather than face a pension fraud scandal, his son Douglas (Matt Berry) takes the helm of the family business, and a whole new set of adventures await.

All six episodes of the show's Second Season are included on a single disc:

•  "The Work Outing"
Roy and Moss tag along with Jen on a date to the theater only to find themselves exploring both their sexuality and their views on handicapped washrooms.

•  "Return of the Golden Child"
Killing time in the office, Moss asks Roy a serious of questions which results in a haunting specific prediction of when he will die. Meanwhile, after Denholm Reynholm jumps to his death from a boardroom window, his estranged son and rightful heir Douglas surfaces to take his father's place as the head of the company.

•  "Moss and the German"
After being encouraged to meet other people rather than spending all their spare time together, Roy does his best to see a pirated DVD while avoiding any plot details that might ruin it, and Moss answers a personal ad for cooking lessons.

•  "The Dinner Party"
When three of her dinner party guests cancel at the last minute, Jen reluctantly invites Roy, Moss and Richmond Avenal (Noel Fielding) to take their places.

•  "Smoke and Mirrors"
When Jen complains to Roy and Moss that she has a 'bad bra,' Moss takes it upon himself to invent a revolutionary new undergarment and winds up pitching it to the venture capitalists on Dragons' Den.

•  "Men Without Women"
Realizing she's in a dead-end job with IT, Jen accepts a position as Douglas' personal assistant. Roy and Moss are left to their own devices including working without wearing pants, while Douglas does his best to get Jen into bed.

The Evidence

It's astonishing that a show with Three Seasons has only amassed a total of 18 episodes. The upside is that, between the skillful writing and the chemistry of the cast, there's not a single dud in the bunch. Now on DVD, The IT Crowd: The Complete Second Season gives the kids from IT a chance to get out of the basement and explore the world.

With the show's characters well established, creator Graham Linehan now has the freedom to take his plotlines into new and wickedly uncharted territory. This season's episodes include such topics as suicide and death, homosexuality, cannibalism, disfigurement and cosmetic reconstruction, and sexual harassment in the workplace. Yes folks, this is a comedy series.

The show works well because it offers the same successful character chemistry as Seinfeld. However, unlike the adventures of Jerry, George, Kramer, and Elaine, The IT Crowd has the advantage, as I don't find myself getting annoyed with Moss, Roy, or Jen. It must be the complete lack of whining. Here, the humor lies not in the characters, but in how they react to the relatively commonplace situations in which they find themselves. It also doesn't hurt to have the off-the-wall mind of Graham Linehan behind the writing and character development.

The Second Season offers a decent improvement in extra features from the previous release. Creator Graham Linehan provides enjoyable commentaries for all six episodes, offering behind-the-scenes tidbits well beyond the average screen-specific track. The "Outtakes" delivers some often hilarious bloopers and flubs, and "Recording The IT Crowd" takes viewers behind the scenes of an episode from start to finish. The menu interface and animation is designed like a 16-bit video game, including synthesized voices, and an '80s-era electronic music bed. For those of us who grew up in the '80s, the homage to Tetris and Mortal Kombat are a geekfest of the highest order.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

The only down side to British television are their often abbreviated production schedules. While the average U.S. series delivers 16 to 24 episodes, British shows like The IT Crowd consist of 10 or less. Thankfully, due in large part to creator Graham Linehan's skill, all six Season Two episodes are pure gold.

Closing Statement

This is easily one of the best international sitcoms on television, and fans will be delighted to know a Fourth Season is in the planning stages. The IT Crowd: The Complete Second Season is an easy purchase to recommend for your comedy collection.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

Gentlemen, synchronize Swatches.

Opening Statement

The 1990s cult show makes its long awaited debut on DVD, courtesy of Shout! Factory (who else?).

Facts of the Case

As the titular hero of Parker Lewis Can't Lose, Parker Lewis (Corin Nemec, Mansquito) is the coolest kid at Santa Domingo High School -- think Ferris Bueller mixed with Zack Morris. Together with his best buds -- rebel-rocker dude Mikey (Billy Jayne, Just One of the Guys) and young, sycophantic Jerry (Troy Slaten, Johnny Dangerously), the boys have their hands full constantly trying to pick up girls, stay out of trouble and combat their many enemies: Parker's bratty sister Shelly (Maia Brewton, Adventures in Babysitting), school bully Larry Kubiac (Abraham Benrubi, Open Range) and, most of all, principal Grace Musso (Melanie Chartoff, Fridays) and her vampiric lackey Frank (Taj Johnson, Samantha).

Here are the 22 episodes that make up Parker Lewis Can't Lose: The Complete First Season, spread out over four discs:

• "Pilot"
Parker and Mikey compete for the affections of the same girl (guest star Milla Jovovich, Kuffs).

• "Operation Math"
The boys have to teach Kubiac math so he doesn't lose his football scholarship.

• "Power Play"
Jerry becomes a defector when a new student shows up and threatens to take Parker's crown of coolness.

• "Parker Lewis Must Lose"
Parker runs for class president, but quickly realizes he wants to win the title far less than he wants to date his opponent.

• "Close, But No Guitar"
Mikey drops out of school to pursue his dreams of rock n' roll.

• "G.A.G. Dance"
Determined to get a girl (guest star Robyn Lively of Teen Witch fame) to ask him to the Girls Ask Guys dance, Parker gives a seminar on confidence that quickly backfires.

• "Love's a Beast"
Mikey gets a secret admirer that's closer to Parker than anyone suspects.

• "Saving Grace"
Musso is replaced by new principal Dr. Pankow, who turns out to be even worse for Parker and the boys. This is the first appearance of recurring guest star Gerrit Graham (The Phantom of the Paradise) as Dr. Pankow.

• "Musso & Frank"
The boys must help find a date for Frank.

• "Deja Dudes"
When Parker's dad's (Timothy Stack, Son of the Beach) class reunion rolls around, Parker realizes just how similar he and his friends are to his dad and friends, and that giving Grace Musso a hard time is apparently a family legacy.

• "Radio Free Flamingo"
The boys discover the school's old pirate radio station and Parker quickly becomes an underground celebrity.

• "Science Fair"
Jerry experiences major anxiety about competing in the science fair, while Musso takes on a bet with Dr. Pankow (returning Gerrit Graham) over whose school will lose.

• "Teacher, Teacher"
Parker pushes his favorite teacher (Penny Johnson, 24) too far and she quits.

• "Rent-a-Kube"
When a string of shoplifters hit his parents' video store, Parker hires Kubiac to work security.

• "Heather the Class"
Shelly turns her back on a friend (Tiffany Brissette, Vicki of Small Wonder) to join The Vogues, the most popular (and evil) clique in school; Parker and the buds help Kubiac lose weight for a wrestling match.

• "Jerry: Portrait of a Video Junkie"
The boys must help Jerry go cold turkey when his addiction to video games gets out of control; Musso's mother (Barbara Billingsley, Leave it to Beaver) pays a visit. Jerry Mathers also has a cameo.

• "Splendor in the Class"
Parker gets a new artistic girlfriend (April Lerman, Charles in Charge) that leaves him no time for his friends.

• "The Human Grace"
The boys must come to Ms. Musso's rescue when her new love affair with Dr. Pankow turns out to be a charade.

• "Citizen Kube"
Kubiac wins a fortune in a magazine sweepstakes, and suddenly new friends come crawling out of the woodwork.

• "Randall Without a Cause"
Mikey falls in with a bad crowd and winds up getting arrested as a result.

• "Jerry's First Date"
The boys play backup when Jerry finally scores a date with the girl of his dreams (A.J. Langer, My So-Called Life). Look fast for an appearance by Josh Lucas (Sweet Home Alabama).

• "Against the Norm"
Parker and the boys must once again look out for Principal Musso when Dr. Pankow returns (again) to exact his revenge.

• "King Kube"
Jerry gets Kubiac elected homecoming king as a joke, but Kube finds out and, humiliated, leaves school; Musso meets Donnie Osmond.

• "Teens From a Mall"
Several stories are told over the course of a day at the mall: Mikey works the counter at Hot Dog On a Stick; Parker chases his dream girl (Josie Bissett, Book of Love); Jerry looks for a job and Musso discovers she has a shopping problem.

• "Parker Lewis Can't Win"
The last day of school is a rough one for Parker.

The Evidence

Looking back nearly twenty years (!) later, there's almost no way Parker Lewis Can't Lose could have succeeded in the long run. It was too far ahead of its time: a single-camera sitcom, devoid of a laugh track, reveling in absurd humor and incredibly inventive camera work. When the show debuted in 1990, America was still watching ALF. You can tell where our tastes were at.

But Parker Lewis (as it would later be called, and which I'm going to call it because I'm too lazy to keep typing two more words) is a very entertaining show, and well deserving of the cult it's developed since it was canceled after three seasons on the air. It's the kind of show that would likely only ever be appreciated by a certain group of people, anyway; it was almost designed to be a cult show.

The cast is cartoonish, yes, but so is the show -- it's all "whooshing" sound effects and shattering glass and wild, Raising Arizona-era Coen-brothers photography. Corin Nemec pulls off the incredibly difficult task of being effortlessly cool and charming without being an irritating douchebag (for contrast, consider that the TV series Ferris Bueller lasted less than one season around the same time, largely because its lead actor, Charlie Schlatter, was an irritating douchebag. Also, it was on NBC and not FOX.). Billy Jayne gives the series its brooding soul, and Troy Slaten's Jerry is a lovable Muppet. The entire ensemble works well together, making the show's quick pace and four-to-one joke ratio feel smooth and organic. The cast never struggles to keep up. It helps that Parker Lewis was a single-camera show and could do all sorts of fancy editing and effects. In the era of three-camera, studio audience product, Parker Lewis distinguished itself above the pack by being one of the best-directed shows on television.

As ahead of its time as Parker Lewis is, it's also very much a product of the early '90s: the hairstyles, the clothes and the garish neon colors all reek of its very short pop culture window. It's also fun to see all of the show's guest stars, a who's-who of recognizable young faces from the past: A.J. Langer, pre-My So-Called Life; Tiffany Brissette, post-Small Wonder; David Faustino, in a bit of meta-crossover humor (a reference to Married With Children, another of FOX's earliest shows); Robyn Lively of Teen Witch fame. There aren't any really big-name guest shots, but these are more fun; they reward you for being a fan of other cult films and TV shows.

I really can't say enough nice things about Shout! Factory. They gave us Freaks and Geeks: The Complete Series and kept all the music intact. They gave us the entirety of My So-Called Life. A few months ago, they finally unearthed and released The Dana Carvey Show. Just this week, I learned that they will be putting out the complete series of It's Garry Shandling's Show in the fall. The studio has become the patron saint of great, lost television series, and they consistently do a swell job on the DVD releases of those series. Add Parker Lewis Can't Lose to that list.

All 22 episodes are presented in their original full frame TV aspect ratio. Many episodes show signs of age -- particularly the pilot (don't be disheartened with the image quality on the basis of the pilot alone; it gets better by the next show) -- but, honestly, it's nothing that will really detract from your enjoyment of the show. The 2.0 stereo audio track serves the show well, though on occasion the music cues kick in considerably louder than the dialogue. I would have liked some English subtitles or captions, but that's because I always want them.

Though not exactly packed with extras, there are enough bonus features on Parker Lewis Can't Lose: The Complete First Season to please fans and give casual viewers a good deal of background on what made the show special. Several of the shows come with audio commentaries, mostly from the shows creators and some of the behind-the-scenes talent (the stars show up only sporadically); their talks are amusing and informative, discussing the personality of the series and how some of the more creative shots were designed and achieved. The fourth disc also contains a 30-minute retrospective piece called "The History of Coolness." While most of its running time is comprised of everyone talking about what they liked about the characters and actors, it is fun to see everyone (save for Chartoff, who doesn't appear) nearly 20 years after their fake high school days.

Closing Statement

Though clearly not a show for everyone, I found Parker Lewis Can't Lose to be almost unreasonably entertaining. It holds up better than I could have expected; like Moonlighting, it transcends its forgotten time-capsule status and remains a show that's as enjoyable today as it was when it originally aired. Thank goodness DVD makes it possible to revisit shows like Parker Lewis Can't Lose, and thank goodness Shout! Factory is finally getting it released.

The Verdict

Coolness.

Royalty meets reality.

Opening Statement

Disney is one of the last surviving remnants of the Golden Era Hollywood studio system, when young talented performers would be brought into the fold, and then trained and nurtured before being presented to the world on celluloid. The M.O. today is surprisingly unchanged, and megastars like Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers show that it still works (even if Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera show the dangers of leaving the fold). Disney takes young stars, packages them in quirky television shows, and tries to maximize exposure with tie-in albums and films. The latest stars they seem to be pushing for international stardom are Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato, who share the screen in the Disney Channel original movie, Princess Protection Program. Although the film, released here as the ridiculously named Princess Protection Program: Royal B.F.F. Extended Edition, doesn't belong in the same room as some of Disney's classic films, it's a fine diversion for fans of the girls or of Disney's recent slate of films.

Facts of the Case

Rosalinda (Demi Lovato, Camp Rock) is the heir to the throne of Costa Luna, but an evil dictator wants to control the small island nation so she must escape his grasp. Enter the Princess Protection Program, and international organization that helps royalty in trouble. The group places Rosalinda in the capable hands of Major Mason (Tom Verica, Zodiac), the single dad of a young girl, Carter (Selena Gomez, Wizards of Waverly Place). To avoid the evil dictator, Rosalinda must live secretly with Mason and Carter, blending in with the normal teenagers of a small Louisiana town. However, with Homecoming approaching, there will lots of opportunities for everyone to be a princess.

The Evidence

Of the recent Disney products I've had to review (including Hannah Montana and the Cheetah Girls), Princess Protection Program is by far the least obnoxious Disney Channel movie I've seen yet. Riffing on the old Prince and the Pauper idea, PPP mixes a decent amount of comedy in with just enough "anyone can be a princess" rhetoric to make a combo sure to appeal to fans of the girls without totally boring their parents.

The best thing about Princess Protection Program is its willingness to pick a winning formula and stick with it. The basic Prince/Pauper story provides the plot, and the whole Disney princess idea gives the window dressing. In this case Carter is the tomboyish country cousin who works in her dad's bait shop and has no maternal influence (a common Disney theme). Rosalinda is the pampered princess, not used to the rough ways of bait shops and high school. As you might expect, Carter learns a bit about being a princess, and Rosie learns about more normal teenage pursuits. They both learn the value of friendship, and surprisingly enough, this is all done fairly subtly. Sure there's lots of cute dialogue, but I never felt like I was being bludgeoned with the message...

Although it's probably pointless to talk about it, the acting in the movie was pretty good. Both the leads are credible (although the whole tomboy/outsider thing is a little hard to buy from Selena Gomez early on and Demi Lovato seems to think acting formal means acting robotic). Their mostly anonymous classmates are all handled with aplomb, but the real secret weapon of the flick is Tom Verica as Carter's father. He brings a sincerity to his role that is impressive, and it gives the rest of the film a legitimacy it would otherwise lack.

The show looks and sounds pretty good on this DVD, although I wasn't as impressed with the visuals as I have been with other Disney films. Part of that is locations, but the DVD is also a little softer than I'd like in places. The audio is about the same, offering audible dialogue and a good balance with the music, but nothing too impressive. The extras are obviously designed to appeal to the legions of fans behind Gomez and Lovato. The big extra for them is a featurette "Royal and Loyal B.F.F.s," where the two discuss their real-life friendship. Fans of all things princess will enjoy "A Royal Reality," which features a real-life princess discussing what it's really like to be royalty. Finally, there's a music video featuring the two leads.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Yes, it's predictable. Except for a well-telegraphed third act ploy, I could have described this entire film before I hit play. That third act ploy doesn't raise the film to new artistic heights, but it does tie things up nicely. Anyone looking to nitpick could certainly find all kinds of things wrong with this little film, but from the title alone you'll know whether to avoid this release.

Closing Statement

Princess Protection Program is yet another Disney Channel movie aimed at the early teen crowd, but it's also one that won't have parents running from the room screaming (at least not the first time). The acting is pretty well done and the message is hard to argue with, so fans of Selena and Demi are urged to give this one a spin. Anyone who hasn't been sucked into the orbit of Disney tween-dom should stay far, far away.

The Verdict

Despite its recycling of an old idea, Princess Protection Program is not guilty.

"If creativity is a field, copyright is the fence." -- John Oswald

The Case

Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday dear readers
Happy birthday to you!

Did you sing along while reading those words? I sang while writing them. Now, having admitted to that, I suppose I can expect a Cease and Desist letter from Warner Chapel, the world's largest publishing company and the owners of the song. Because I don't "own" the rights to sing the song, I'd have to shell out big bucks to keep from infringing on their rights. Copyright law, in its origins and ideally today, is designed to protect artists and allow them to control the use of their individual work. Too often, however, artist protection is simply a mask that allows corporations to control art and divert that revenue stream into their coffers.

RiP! A Remix Manifesto tackles this subject on a broad scale, using the specific example of the music industry to address the larger issue of intellectual property, copyright law, and who these concepts are really designed to protect. As the title would suggest, director Brett Gaylor presents us with his manifesto on copyright law in four principles:

1. Culture always builds on the past
2. The past always tries to control the future.
3. Our future is becoming less free.
4. To build free societies, you must limit the control of the past.

These principles work quite nicely for the music industry, and Gaylor is slick in his expansion of them into other realms. He begins by discussing mashups and the legal complications that arise, especially in today's internet culture. Mashups, a technique of taking extremely small audio samples and resourcing them into an entirely original composition, aren't new by any means. William Burroughs and Brion Gysin experimented with cut-ups in writing, music, and film as early as the 1960s. By the early 90s, a group called Negativland had been sued by Pepsi, U2, and just about anybody else these artists skewered. John Oswald's "plunderphonics" (a term coined initially in his 1985 essay, "Plunderphonics, or Audio Piracy as a Compositional Prerogative") is so divisive that his album, named for the technique, was made illegal (I own a copy of this album; it is an amazing, unique experience. Come and get me CRIA). Today, we have the primary subject of Rip!, an artist calling himself Girl Talk, who performs his mashups in front of a live crowd.

The problem with copyright law in the case of mashups is not in the performance but in the publication and release of the refashioned piece. By the letter of the law, Girl Talk would have to pay a royalty fee to each individual artist that he samples. This seems to make sense until you begin to look at the raw facts, which Gaylor often does to significantly bolster his argument. An average length Girl Talk track could potentially contain hundreds of samples, varying in length from a few seconds to a few tenths of a second. If he wanted to release an album, he would have thousands upon thousands of samples. To pay a fee for each would cost millions in rights fees alone, making his art, from a legal standpoint, impossible to produce. How can we justify making somebody's art financially prohibitive when we have plenty of precedent in other realms of art -- Andy Warhol's Campbell's soup can paintings, for one?

Gaylor uses other examples in the music industry, including the Napster case and the Bono Act, which dramatically expanded the length of post-mortem copyright, especially in regards to corporations. What he establishes through his examples and the above manifesto is that copyright law has destroyed the public domain (as the law now stands, corporations hold the copyright for ninety-five years after the death of the original owner, currently meaning that the public domain contains work no newer than around 1924) and has successfully stifled the progress of art.

Gaylor's point really comes clear, though, when he takes his principles into other realms. As luck would have it, Girl Talk isn't just an experimental musician. At night he rocks dancers in the club but, during the day, he rocks a cubicle as a bio-medical engineer. Intellectual property has expanded into all realms, including genetics and medical science. Corporations can patent plants, chromosomes, and medical discoveries, preventing other corporations from beating them to the punch with a hot new pill. We could be on the cusp of a cure for cancer. However, because medical advances are considered property and multiple companies have their own exclusive findings and methods, there is no collaboration and, therefore, advancement in science becomes stunted.

Entertainment, for some, can be a shallow and frivolous industry. It may be hard for these people to sympathize with the plight of those who make art for a living. However, when you take the same principles and apply them to an industry as vital as medicine, the regressive implications of copyright law and intellectual property become disgustingly clear.

Disinformation Co. has done a very good job on their release of RiP! A Remix Manifesto. The image looks very good, fitting for a new, digitally recorded documentary. The sound is equally fine, though it could have used a little boost during the many musical scenes. For extras, we first have six deleted scenes, totaling nearly seventy minutes of additional footage. Outside of one scene, these are very brief, but the long one is by far the most valuable. The complete lecture from copyright lawyer Larry Lessig, the original author of the manifesto, that is heavily referenced in the film spans nearly an hour and is a well-informed, enlightening and, most importantly, entertaining. The other extras are "Mashup favorites," six clips from Open Source Cinema (referenced in the Accomplices section and a highly recommended website) and other various sources, the most famous of which is the State of the Union address from George W. Bush that is adeptly recut to make the president say some very scary things.

RiP! A Remix Manifesto is an excellent document of one of the more pressing issues in the rapidly changing technology of the internet age. When you put a video up on YouTube or a collage you make on Facebook, do you think you own it? In the increasingly democratized world of art, this is a question that many must face, and Rip! does an outstanding job of detailing many of the issues surrounding the law.

The Verdict

Not guilty. Rip this movie. Remix it. Make it your own.

With a little practice...anyone can be as good as Bruce Lee!

The Case

"My grandfather had a dying wish."
"What was it?"
"To not die."

As you may know, They Call Me Bruce follows the adventures of a Korean chef working for the mob, whose specialty is spaghetti made with Chinese noodles. His connected employers call him "Bruce" after Bruce Lee, despite that not being his name, so he goes with it and takes on the new moniker. Bruce dreams of being a kung fu master despite being pretty useless at fighting, so he often reflects on the teaching passed on by his late grandfather ("Go for the groin!") or uses his quick "wit" to talk his ways out of sticky situations in which he frequently finds himself. Looking to pull a double cross, the Boss of Bosses dupes Bruce into delivering a load of cocaine across the country by telling him the cargo is his special Chinese flour; hijinks ensue involving the FBI, a redneck bar, Las Vegas' smallest casino, and a group of prison inmates that Bruce manages to simultaneously release and get high.

By no standard could They Call Me Bruce be considered a good movie. Filled to the brim with ham-fisted acting, poorly choreographed fight scenes, and a plot so ludicrous that it seems unlikely a script existed before the cameras rolled, it's a clear example of low-budget, low-expectation filmmaking.

Yet, there's a certain undeniable charm that speaks to the movie's cult classic status, thanks to star and co-writer Johnny Yune's clear desire to entertain his audience at the expense of his dignity. They Call Me Bruce is improbably good-natured, despite broad stereotypes and jokes that would come off as just plain mean on paper. (At one point, Bruce is joined in a hot tub by a young woman, and he remarks, "You're a ten!" Then she disrobes and he sees her small breasts: "You're a ten where you should be a thirty-six." All class.) The film is loosely patterned after Airplane-style comedies, where sight gags and puns take precedence over logic or anything remotely resembling realism; most of the jokes fall flat, crafted with little of the insight that the Zucker brothers bring to their work, but the occasional ones that work tend to work pretty well. The first time Bruce scares off an assailant by suggesting that because he's Asian he must know martial arts made me laugh, as did the more subtle running gag that almost everyone in the movie -- from an FBI agent to a jive-speaking gang -- knows kung fu except for Bruce. There are far more misses than hits, though.

The back of the box of this 25th Anniversary Edition (strangely coming twenty-seven years after its original release) proudly announces it features a "high quality transfer from a recently found pristine 35mm print." I believe every part of that save for the word "pristine." This edition of They Call Me Bruce looks only marginally better than an over-watched VHS tape, with questionable picture stability, a healthy helping of dirt and scratches, and all manner of digital sins including horizontal and vertical edge enhancement, mosquito noise, and compression artifacts. This is a wholly disappointing transfer, so don't be fooled by the proclamations on the packaging. Audio fares somewhat better -- at least it's clear most of the time -- but it's of the low-bitrate two-channel variety usually reserved for audio commentaries, so don't get too excited. No special features are included.

The fanbase for The Call Me Bruce is already established, and it's unlikely this release will draw much of a new audience. Said fanbase will be pleased to know, however, this is the uncut version as opposed to the 2003 DVD which apparently lost some of the naughty bits that seemed out of place in a PG movie. Indeed, while it's tonally pretty innocent, They Call Me Bruce would have earned itself at least a PG-13 were it released today.

The Verdict

They Call Me Bruce: 25th Anniversary Edition is worth checking out for nostalgia, or to give yourself another somewhat obscure B-movie from which to quote to your friends, so long as your sights aren't set too high. Otherwise, it barely reaches a qualified not guilty.

"I'm Dr. Horrible. I have a PhD in horribleness."

The Case

The 2007-2008 Writers Guild of America strike made a lot television viewers quite unhappy, but for me, there were two silver linings to be found among the storm clouds: Conan O'Brien's madly entertaining late-night improvisations, and Joss Whedon's delightful Internet creation Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Presented in three separate 12-15 minute segments and offered for free to the public, Dr. Horrible became an unexpected sensation, earning a great deal of acclaim for everyone involved. It's hardly a lavish or visually spectacular production (it was filmed in six days for about $200,000), but this delightful 42-minute film remains one of the more originally entertaining media experiments I've seen in recent years.

Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother) plays Dr. Horrible, a wannabe megalomaniac with great ambitions and only a modest level of genuine villainy. His big dream is to become a part of the nefarious (and wonderfully-named) Evil League of Evil, an organization of supervillains run by the terrifying Bad Horse (an actual horse). Though Dr. Horrible very much likes the idea of becoming a supervillain, he also has a softer side. He has a crush on a girl named Penny (Felicia Day, The Guild), whom he sees twice a week at the laundromat. Unfortunately, Horrible's superheroic nemesis Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion, Serenity) also has eyes for the girl, meaning that the battle between the two old foes has become more personal than ever. Oh, and did I mention everyone sings?

With a combination of genuine wit and delightful tunes, Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog is right up my alley. The odds are pretty high you'll dig it too. There are a lot of laughs here, both broad and subtle. Brothers Joss, Zack, and Jed Whedon (along with Jed's wife Maurissa Tancharoen) provide a screenplay that expertly blends humor, musical set pieces and a little bit of genuinely moving sentiment. Though Dr. Horrible is as funny as you would expect it to be considering the talent involved, it holds up well under repeat viewings due to the fact that the plot (and the humor, for that matter) has considerably more substance than usual sort of star-studded web creation you might find on a site like FunnyorDie.com

Neil Patrick Harris (an actor whose comic gifts seem to be getting better all the time) is spot-on as Dr. Horrible. He spends much of his time sitting in front of his webcam providing constant updates to visitors of his website...often filled with a little too much information. At one point, he turns up looking bloody and battered. "So, it seems that the L.A.P.D. and Captain Hammer are among our viewers," he moans. A lot of humor is milked from the complications of being a villain, such as the equipment breakdown that turns Horrible's bars of stolen gold into liquid. Nathan Fillion's Captain Hammer is a typical superhero as depicted by Garth Ennis; a self-absorbed buffoon whose ego overwhelms any positive qualities he might have. Fillion is a riot in the part, multiplying that Captain Mal swagger by 100 and stealing every scene he appears in. Finally, Felicia Day is enchanting as Penny, a character who is admittedly more of a plot device than anything else.

The Jed-n-Joss-penned songs here may not quite be worthy of Stephen Sondheim, but quite honestly many of them are absurdly catchy and entertaining. Harris gives us a wonderful opening number with the infection pop tune, "My Freeze Ray," and later boisterously declares his plans to kill Captain Hammer in the memorable "Brand New Day." Fillion has the funniest number of the film, the gloriously cheesy and self-congratulatory "Everyone's a Hero," while all three primary cast members harmonize very effectively on "A Man's Gotta Do." Good stuff all around, and Harris in particular is a rather exceptional singer (he's a Broadway veteran, it seems).

Though I believe you can still check out the film for free online, this DVD is still well worth a purchase. First up, you get an exceptional transfer that I really have no complaints about. The level of detail is surprisingly strong for a standard-def disc, and depth is very satisfactory. The 5.1 audio is dynamic and crystal-clear during the musical numbers, delivering a very stellar experience.

However, the real treats are in the supplemental department. The disc is worth the price of admission simply to hear "Commentary: The Musical!," a deliriously entertaining musical commentary by the entire cast and crew featuring a dozen or so original songs. While the tunes range in entertainment value from moderately amusing to flat-out hilarious, the whole experiment is a wonderfully absurd idea that mostly works like a charm. Without wanting to spoil too much of it for you, I'll throw out a few personal favorite moments: Nathan Fillion turning in an unapologetic ballad called "I'm Better Than Neil," Fillion and Harris doing a duet about the joys of playing "Ninja Ropes," and Maurissa Tancharoen providing a satirical piece called, "Nobody's Asian in the Movies," (complete with slyly hilarious stereotypical musical accompaniment). It's a lot of fun that takes a lot of amusing digs at ordinary commentaries ("There'll be none of those awkward pauses!" one song declares). More ordinary supplements on the disc include a breezily engaging standard commentary with the cast and crew, a three-part making-of featurette, and a series of fun fan-created applications to the Evil League of Evil. Good stuff all around.

As of the writing of this review, this DVD can be picked up for a measly 5-10 bucks (depending on where you shop). It's more than worth the cost. Here's looking forward to the eventual release of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog 2.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

Every story ever written is just waiting to become real!

Opening Statement

Ever since Harry Potter first snagged the Philosopher's Stone, publishers have been churning out book after book, series after series, in the hopes that Hollywood is waiting in the wings to snatch up the next big thing. From Germany comes Cornelia Funke's Inkheart, and from New Line Pictures and English director Iain Softley (K-PAX) comes the inevitable film adaptation.

Facts of the Case

Mo Folchart (Brendan Fraser, The Mummy) and his precocious daughter Meggie (Eliza Hope Bennet, Nanny McPhee) have a gift. When they read a book aloud, the people, places, and actions leap into the real world! Unfortunately, when Mo first discovered this gift, his wife disappeared into the pages and the villainous cast of a book called Inkheart jumped into our world. With his daughter at his side, plus the help of an eccentric Aunt (Helen Mirren, National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets) and the book's author (Jim Broadbent, Hot Fuzz), Mo must track down one of the remaining copies of Inkheart and stop the evil rogue, Capricorn (Andy Serkis, Lord of the Rings) from reading even greater evils into the real world.

The Evidence

Inkheart has all the makings of a great adventure. Mo and Meggie must scour Europe for a copy of the titular tome, while characters from its pages dog their every step. You've got epic settings, larger-than-life villains, excuses for big action set pieces, and a collection of interesting and typically entertaining actors and actresses. The problem is none of it ever really gels. There's never any period in the film where it feels like it's doing anything more than going through the motions. Sure the characters seem frantic enough, but they never seem to be in any kind of real hurry either.

The rules established within the film don't make a whole heck of a lot of sense. Why does someone always have to go into the book when something comes out? Purely to have a hook to drive Mo and Meggie along would be my guess. Or maybe to drum up some cheap drama, when it comes time for Mo to deliver on his promise to read the enigmatic fire-juggler, Dustfinger (Paul Bettany, The DaVinci Code) back into the tome perhaps? The whole plot feels heavily contrived; it's like a mishmash of other, better stories that feels all too familiar. Never once did I find myself buying into what was going on, suspending disbelief, or just enjoying the ride. That's a fatal flaw in a fantasy film. I wish I could pinpoint one particular area to blame, but the general malaise pretty much seeps through the pores of the entire film. Direction, action, plot, music, characters, nothing is particularly engaging.

As far as adaptations go, I'm told the filmmakers made considerable changes to Funke's work, making the film more self contained and completely eliminating the written word version of the sequel, Inkspell, in the process. Whether these changes were for better or worse, I cannot say, as I've not read the book. Given the nature of this beast, I'm sure fans of the novels are highly miffed, especially since the movie writes off potential sequels, or pretty much guarantees they will have to drastically deviate from the books they love.

New Line's DVD treatment is a passable affair, but certainly nothing special. The transfer holds up to scrutiny, with a nice clean print free of errors or excessive grain. Colors seem muted and there's some softness, but it seems like more of a filmmaker's choice than any kind of technical flaw. The 5.1 sound is pretty tame for a movie of this kind, which was a surprise. It's clear and well balanced, but I expected the subwoofer and surround speakers to get more of a workout.

In terms of extras, you get a digital copy of the film (or more accurately a code to download a digital copy), and a short featurette where actress Eliza Hope Bennett (who plays Meggie) reads her favorite passage from Inkheart, which also happens to be the final passage in the book. The last page would probably be my favorite as well, if the film is any indication.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

The performances in Inkheart are definitely a bright spot. Jim Broadbent is always a joy to watch, and his kooky novelist Fenoglio is no exception. Helen Mirren plays great aunt Elinor and, outside of a terribly cheesy moment during the finale, she's a hoot. The best performance comes from Andy Serkis, who's in full on "evil heel" mode, stealing quite a few scenes. The few laughs I did get were courtesy of Andy. Like Jim and Helen, he knew what kind of film he was making and seemed to be relishing the experience. Eliza Hope Bennett also did an admirable job of stealing the lead role from a sleepwalking Brendan Fraser (Seriously! Somebody get this guy a triple latte and some uppers!)

Beyond performances, Inkheart's effects were actually pretty slick, better than a lot of the CG in recent big productions like the Harry Potter flicks or the last excursion to Narnia. They don't save the film from mediocrity, but they certainly don't drag it down.

Closing Statement

It's not that Inkheart is a bad film, it's just completely devoid of any ambition. As far as adaptations go, it's not a good representation of the novel, which will disappoint many. It's just bland, with all the flavor of a piece of corrugated cardboard, made somewhat watchable by a few good performances.

The Verdict

Guilty. Sentencing is suspended. Inkheart's probable fate of sharing bottom shelf space with the likes of The Golden Compass is punishment enough.

A 2,500-mile journey that will change the course of their lives forever.

Opening Statement

Roy E. Disney loves sailing so he jumped at the suggestion to make a movie about the yacht race across the Pacific Ocean. A competition was held to find 15 young sailors to crew the Disney-sponsored boat. How will this sailing adventure shape the lives of these young men and women?

Facts of the Case

The Transpacific Yacht Race is a grueling test of endurance where teams sail across the open ocean from California to Hawaii. It's a competition for experienced sailors only and most participants are over the age of 30. In 2007, the crew of the Morning Light were all between the ages of 18 and 23 when they competed in the race.

The Evidence

Morning Light falls somewhere between a sports documentary and reality television. The content and tone is divided about equally between observing the participants in their element putting their training to work, and watching moments where the drama feels inflated for the cameras. Disney movie magic aside, this documentary of young people taking part in a race that exposes them to the open ocean for over a week is compelling entertainment.

The first half of the film follows 15 crewmembers during months of training leading up to the race. The extensive training they go through looks a little like reality TV challenges but without the immediate threat of elimination. The pace is fast and, consequently, the sailors' personalities are only marginally established. Aside from "the Aussie" or "the girl," there isn't much background information to distinguish one crewmember from another. Apparently, each of the young participants kept a personal journal during this experience and in voice-over narration we hear them reading snippets of what they recorded. The majority of those readings are quite wooden and that just draws attention to the filmmakers' attempts to add tension and emotion to the proceedings.

There is a lot going on in this documentary and too many people to keep track of initially. Even graphics and text and hurriedly pushed off screen before the information fully registers. When the time comes to cut four people from the final racing crew, it's unfortunate that those relegated to reserve status are virtually faceless to viewers.

The race itself is very exciting as the young crew tries to hold their own against a field of veteran competitive sailors. Decisions take on considerable weight when they're alone in the middle of the Pacific. It is also during this section of the film when we see the natural personalities of the various crewmembers.

Morning Light gets an excellent technical presentation on this Disney DVD. Aside from a few grainy shots from a night vision video camera, the picture is nearly flawless. The image is sharp throughout and the colors are rich while appearing very natural. The camera work is good during the relatively controlled training situations. Once the race is on, there is considerably less space in which the cameraman can maneuver but the footage covers a lot of action from some very exciting angles.

The surround sound mix is a treat with music and sound effects that fully engage all speakers. Without overdoing it, the subtle bass activity is almost constant. A nice touch: I appreciate the effect of filtering the music to match whenever the camera goes under water. My only criticism of the sound mix is that the dialogue was sometimes unclear. I mentioned the wooden narrations earlier, but even during live conversations the crew seemed to communicate in flat monotones.

The two featurettes included on this single disc are nice companion pieces to the movie. "Stories From the Sea," hosted by Jason Earles (Space Buddies), gives us 28 minutes of back-story that didn't fit into the main feature. Executive producers Roy Disney and Leslie DeMeuse, both big sailing enthusiasts themselves, talk about how the project got started and what they feel is their own stake in the experience. There are more interviews with the Morning Light crew as well as a segment on their training in the Polynesian technique of navigating by the stars and waves. A particularly enjoyable segment features cameraman Richard Deppe and how he went about capturing the stunning race footage.

The second featurette "Morning Light: Making the Cut" is a 41-minute special that aired on ESPN. This one is more along the lines of reality television material but it's still very informative and watchable. From the original call for applicants to the selection of the 15 crewmembers for training, this is the story of the project prior to the events covered in the movie.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

To be fair, Morning Light is not an instructional video on sailing. Nevertheless, the movie doesn't make it any easier for outsiders to discover the sport. On-deck communication is sometimes cryptic due to the lingo that's spoken. The different roles of crewmembers are a mystery. From what I could tell, one person steers while the others hang on to the boat wherever they can. Occasionally there is intense action like the winding of winches, raising a kite, or taking down a sail. How these activities affect the boat I can only guess.

Closing Statement

Sailing looks like a sport for rich people and this film doesn't do much to make me think otherwise. The lucky youngsters who get to race across the Pacific are healthily sponsored in Roy Disney's love letter to sailing. Still, the race itself is an exciting adventure and the action gets a boost from the excellent technical presentation. For sailing fans, this movie is a good way to introduce the sport to younger viewers -- especially if they can explain to them afterwards how it all works.

The Verdict

Not guilty.

"But the worst thing of all was that I'd been trapped by an odd series of circumstances into agreeing to have dinner with a man I'd been avoiding literally for years. His name was André Gregory."

Opening Statement

My first exposure to My Dinner With André was from an episode of The Simpsons where Martin Prince plays a video game version of the film. The arcade screen featured two men sitting at a table, offering three courses of action for the player: "Bon Mot," "Trenchant Insight," and "Tell Me More." I've wondered about the significance of the film ever since, but had not gotten around to watching it. Until now, that is. Was it worth the wait? I'm not so sure, but I do understand why The Simpsons mocked it.

Facts of the Case

After years of no contact, Wally (Wallace Shawn, The Princess Bride), a struggling playwright and actor, has dinner with his friend and eccentric theatre director André (André Gregory, The Last Temptation Of Christ). For the next two hours, the friends talk and talk and talk about life, the universe, and everything.

The Evidence

My Dinner With André made me think. I wasn't quite sure what to make of it. Indeed, even as I write this, I'm still not entirely clear about the point of the whole thing. Is it a pretentious, pseudo-intellectual exercise, the kind of nonsense-filled conversation immature philosophy majors have with one another and elitist film critics love, or does the film have something meaningful to say about life and the human condition? Is there something real there, or is it just empty talk?

There is no question the film, as directed by Louis Malle (Atlantic City), is (at times) captivating viewing. The conversation between Wally and Andre has an almost hypnotizing rhythm. Without it, the whole endeavour would be unwatchable. Indeed, based on the premise, the movie should be unwatchable. It's just two middle-aged men, sitting at table, eating, and talking for almost two hours. Yet a good portion of the 111 minute run time flies by. It's easy to get swept up in the current of the conversation, without paying close attention to the words. With his spare but intelligent camera work -- consisting of close-ups and the framing of both men -- Malle capitalizes on our inclination to eavesdrop on strangers. On this level of style (rather than substance), the film is strong and quite successful.

However, the specifics of the conversation are an altogether different matter. The first half consists of Shawn listening while Gregory recounts his adventures in Poland, the Sahara, Scotland, and other experiences like living with a Japanese monk or being buried alive. It's a one-sided monologue (Wally either laughs uncomfortably or asks for more information), but the stories are interesting and Gregory's delivery is mesmerizing. The second half is another story. Wally and André commence a dialogue about life and art. It's intended to be an intimate conversation between two men struggling with fundamental questions of what it is to truly be alive. In truth, it's like Seinfeld without the humor. This is painfully obvious, during a debate about the pros and cons of using an electric blanket. The discussion is eye rolling, if not downright groan inducing.

At many points, the conversation drags and veers into absurdity. Wally and André talk about the superficiality of contemporary theatre, but it sounds more like a stereotypical exchange between two out-of-touch snobs whining about a state of affairs they don't agree with. The weakest section (which diehard fans of the film probably view as the strongest) is the debate on the compatibility between materialism and self-awareness. Gregory insists most people are sleepwalking through life, playing predetermined roles at home and work, numbing themselves physically and mentally through material comforts and other modern conveniences and distractions. He contends few of us are truly living, needing to be shocked out of unreality. Wally argues art and everyday experiences -- rather than an austere lifestyle and spiritual adventures to exotic locations -- offer a way to jolt people into self-awareness. André is not convinced and proceeds to launch into a diatribe against modern living, promoting some form of new age spirituality as the way out. Wally counters that he likes the luxuries of modern times, including his enjoyment of a cold cup of coffee in the morning and the electric blanket. The conversation thus descends into amateur philosopher hour, filled with half-baked ideas about active versus robotic living and the scientific method versus mysticism. Yes, many people wonder and talk about these matters, but there's a reason they don't spend entire dinners on them: the conversation is unproductive. Isn't odd the two never question whether the dinner and conversation they are engaging in is itself a form of mental and physical distraction from true living?

If André practiced what he preached, the dinner would not be taking place in a posh Manhattan restaurant, featuring fine wine, roast quail, and espresso. His adventures are made possible only by his fortunate financial position, and he himself makes a minor admission to this fact. Does this make André a hypocrite, or do the filmmakers believe active living is only available for the fiscally privileged? Of course, this could also be a deliberate attempt at irony or even an inside joke, but I don't believe so because Wally never calls André out on these details. If the filmmakers intended audiences to ponder the questions addressed by these two men as serious and universal, shouldn't the discussion be taking place in a modest location involving participants of humble occupations instead involving enlightened "artists"? Then again, perhaps such a change would have alienated the target audience: people who fancy themselves intellectuals, watch art house films and rave about their depth and profundity, while lamenting the lack of cerebral content of popular cinema.

The film is presented in 1.66:1 anamorphic widescreen. The picture quality is decent enough. Grain is visible throughout, the picture and colours lacking crispness, without suffering any major problems. The unspectacular audio is Dolby Mono, but the dialogue requires nothing more.

This two-disc Criterion release comes with a relatively lean set of extras. The first disc contains just the film. The second features individual interviews with Gregory and Shawn by Noah Baumbach (The Squid And The Whale), giving details about the genesis and production of the film. Also included are "My Dinner With Louis," a 1982 interview of Malle conducted by Shawn for the BBC program Arena. It's an interesting piece with Malle discussing his catalogue of films up to that point. Finally, the package contains a booklet featuring essays about the film by Shawn, Gregory, and film critic Amy Taubin.

Closing Statement

Reading reviews is not enough. A viewing of My Dinner With André is required. Many consider the film to be a classic. I found the execution novel, the acting solid, and the subject matter thought-provoking. However, I also found it unsatisfying, because of its affected, overly preachy tone, snooty attitude, and lack of substance, particularly during the second half. Perhaps I didn't "get" it. Either way, some will agree with my view, others will sharply disagree. I accept that. Maybe, one day, we can discuss our differences over dinner.

The Verdict

Guilty of taking itself far too seriously.

Revenge is redemption.

Opening Statement

Sony dredges up its mediocre action catalog, because some goofball out there might recognize Russell Crowe on the cover and buy this.

Facts of the Case

Gruff, grizzled FBI Agent Zack Grant (Crowe) thinks he has the perfect sting operation to bag a Mafia head honcho. Little does he know, the woman he chose to go undercover is nursing her own grudge against the gangsters and goes in guns blazing, knocking off the kingpin's crazy son (Ian Ziering?!). To retaliate, the Don kidnaps Grant's son and forces him to bring the perpetrators of the slaughter to him.

Straddling both lines of the law, Zack is going to have to overcome a number of immense obstacles and hardships to rescue his son, including, but not limited to, a) surviving a plane crash, b) shooting it out with the Yakuza, c) exchanging gunfire with both the Mafia and the FBI, and d) enduring nearly the entire runtime with possibly the most annoying leading lady ever cast in an action movie (Helen Slater).

The Evidence

I have to be honest, I'm not seeing the point of this release. First, it's not nearly popular enough to warrant a Blu-ray double-dip. Second, the upgrade is not even that great. Pretty shabby actually. Finally, the disc is a stripped-down, barely-there-in-the-tech offering.

I'm not saying there aren't die-hard No Way Back fans at large somewhere, foaming at the kisser to scope out their prized mid-'90s action saga in the glory of high-definition. What I am saying is, at most, there has to be like four of them, including the director's mom.

For a film that likes to talk tough, No Way Back has very little going for it in the action department. There's the opening shootout, where Ian Ziering takes a few rounds. Then Zack infiltrates the Yakuza and shoots some folks. But from there on out, the mayhem grows tepid. The centerpiece of the film is a mid-air meltdown, where Zack's prisoner hijacks a passenger plane with a flare gun, forces them to crash land in the forest, and then takes Zack on a stilted car chase. After that, there's 20 minutes or so of excruciating back and forth between Crowe and Slater, before it's on to the final showdown where a helicopter flies around and a small child nearly drowns. Overall, boring and cheesy.

As I said, the Blu-ray is lean. The 1.85:1 widescreen represents a slight bump in visual fidelity. It's certainly not the worst video presentation an obscure catalog release has received, but considering the low quality of the actual film, the mild high-def coat of paint is far from enough to mandate a viewing. Same goes for the TrueHD 5.1 surround, an audio mix that doesn't get nearly the workout needed to make it memorable. Worst of all, zero extras.

Closing Statement

A sad example of next-gen optical media: a marginal bump in audio/visual quality, no bonus materials, and a blah movie.

The Verdict

Guilty. No way to get my money back?

It destroyed his world. He won't let it destroy ours.

Opening Statement

Vikings. Space monsters. Lasers. Swords. Axes. Decapitations. Odin worship. Alpha male cockblocking. Yes, friends, Outlander just may be The Greatest Thing in the History of Everything.

Facts of the Case

A flaming starship crash lands on Sixth Century Earth and a space man named Kainan (James Caviezel, The Passion of the Chirst) crawls out of the wreckage. Turns out a nasty giant man-eating space alien snuck onto his ship and forced it to dive-bomb our planet. Now it's loose and the only weapons Kainan has at his disposal are swords and axes. His only allies are mean, hairy Vikings, who certainly fight like champs, but are overmatched by the alien's ferocity. They're also drunk half the time.

The Evidence

If you could make a movie about Vikings fighting space dragons, what would you do? Me? Besides adding a bit more Viking-on-Viking slaughter and moving some of the action out of the pitch blackness, I'd pretty much stick with the game plan director Howard McCain went with. The Greatest Thing That Will Ever Happen to this World and That Includes the Day When the Deity Of Your Choice Returns to Set Up His or Her Earthly Kingdom takes this whacked-out concept and squeezes virtually all the entertainment juice out of it, leaving you with a rich, satisfying Viking Smoothee.

Caviezel puts forward a subdued performance, but turns on the intensity when he needs to, specifically when his pals bite it or in the heat of battle with the alien and he needs to lay on the intimidation. His counterpart is Jack Huston who plays Wulfric, the main badass in the Norseman camp and heir to the throne. This adversary-to-ally relationship is the emotional core of the film, even outpacing the love story between Kainan and the gorgeous Viking princess Freya. I like how The Greatest Thing in the Universe, Or, Multiverse, If You Subscribe to That Particular Cosmology sidesteps the formula of having Wulfric and Kainan bitch at each other the whole time, and instead brings them together as BFFs right away. It's cool and pays off well at the end.

But, as it is with any creature feature, the element the film turns on is the monster. Thankfully, the beast in The Greatest Piece of Creative Expression that Mankind Has Produced is a memorable one, rendered well in clean CGI; lethal, loud, and sporting a cool back-story (told in a nice sci-fi rich sequence). McCain takes his cues from the monster movie playbook and takes his time revealing the creature. When the inevitable showdown finally does happen, we get a bodacious eyeful. My only complaint: much of the action at the end (and, honestly, throughout most of the film) happens in the dark, making the viewing experience a challenge.

That's a small gripe when you're talking about The Greatest Thing God Ever Had a Role in Creating and Don't Doubt for a Second He Didn't Have a Divine Role in the Pre-Production Process. Overall, this is just a glorious face full of B-movie sci-fi thrills and a more-than-deserving entry into the Viking Space Monster Movie Hall of Fame.

The DVD is fine, sporting a sharp 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen and an aggressive 5.1 surround mix. Extras include commentary from McCain, writer Dirk Blackman, and producers Chris Roberts and John Schimmel; a ton of deleted scenes; animatics and visual effects tests; and images galleries.

Closing Statement

What else do you have going on in your flimsy life? Nothing, that's what. So make the most of your sad existence and lose yourself in the gritty realism of Jim Caviezel and some hulking Norsemen stabbing a monster from space with swords.

The Verdict

Not Guilty. The case is dismissed with extreme prejudice. Never darken the doorways of this courtroom again, a-hole, thinking you could impugn the dignity of this masterpiece.

Ben: "When were you thinking of doing this?"
Amy: "The sooner the better. We were supposed to hang out tonight anyway. So, why don't we just get married instead?"
Ben: "All right. I mean, we were going to get married in a few years anyway. So...why not? Let's do it."
Amy: "Great. Um...where do we get fake IDs?"
Ben: "Um..."

Opening Statement

Sex. Deceit. Conflict. Crying. Fighting. More sex. Sadness. Shouting. Tension. Heartache. Even more sex. It's all another day in The Secret Life of the American Teenager.

Facts of the Case

Fifteen-year-old Amy (Shailene Woodley) is pregnant. This has, understandably, complicated life. Her loving boyfriend Ben (Ken Baumann) is willing to do whatever it takes to support her and the child, but he's not the biological father. That would be Ricky (Daren Kagasoff), who's dating nice girl Grace (Megan Park) while secretly cheating on her with bad girl Adrian (Francia Raisa).

Along for the ride are Amy's feuding, divorce-bound parents Anne (Molly Ringwald, The Breakfast Club) and George (Mark Derwin), as well as her sarcastic little sister Ashley (India Eisley).

With the question of whether to put the baby up for adoption on everyone's minds, Amy and Ben decide to take their futures into their own hands by eloping. Armed with fake IDs, the young couple and their friends head off to a cheesy get-hitched-quick chapel for a secret wedding.

The Evidence

I'm always up for a good high school show. Why? Because the genre is such a potent source for so many great stories. Comedy, drama, romance, and even horror all have genre landmarks in a high school setting. So it was with a lot of hope that I approached The Secret Life of the American Teenager. A look at the various day-to-day struggles and triumphs that today's teens face? The potential was there for a great show. Unfortunately, outside of the initial hook of "pregnant teenage girl," this is just another campy nighttime soap opera, all about who's sleeping with who, who's cheating with who, who's lying to (and lying on) who, and so on.

Just as the big attention-grabber of the first season was the pregnancy, the show's creators go for another big attention-grabber this time with the secret wedding. It should come to no surprise that it's not the happy ending the characters hope for, but it still came and went awfully fast. It's over almost as quickly as it happens. If the creators were insistent on following this path, then why not stretch it out for a while? How dramatically interesting would it have been for the characters to have to keep this secret for a while? What storylines could have been derived from this? We'll never know, because it the whole marriage thing ends quickly, so the series gets back the usual "who's hooking up this week" shtick.

Like most soap operas, there are numerous other plot threads to keep track of. Adrian gets into a romantic relationship with her stepbrother, Ricky confronts his psycho recently-out-of-jail father, Grace's parents break up and then make up, Grace's ex-boyfriend Jack (Greg Finley) starts dating the 20-year-old sister of a kid he's mentoring, and Ashley starts up a flirtation with a (gasp!) cigarette-smoking boy she meets at a bus stop.

The plotting isn't the show's main dilemma, though. That would be the dialogue, which is overloaded with needless exposition. Take this example:

Anne: "I don't know, Amy. It seems like ever since I talked to you about finding a job and taking on the responsibility of being a parent, you've just distanced yourself from me. I can't help that you don't like what I said, but it just needed to be said. Are you doing anything about it? About finding a job?"

Nobody actually talks like this!!! Nonetheless, scene after scene after scene contains clunkers like these. I know, TV writers often have to work "reminders" into the dialogue to keep viewers up to speed week after week, but there's got to be better ways to do it. Not to mention that a lot of these reminders are references to things that happened in the same episodes. It's as if the writers feel that the viewing audience has such a short attention span that no one can remember what happened before the last commercial break. It's true that the actors tend to come across as wooden, but how could they not with these scripts?

The show's attempts at humor are more awkward and uncomfortable than genuinely funny. Ann and George's constant sniping at each other is played for laughs. It seems to me that this should be serious business, threatening to tear their already struggling family apart. Instead, George is portrayed as some sort of party-loving man-child whose spends most of his time causing mischief around the house. Instead of finding his pranks and schemes hilarious, I kept wondering what his deal is. Even weirder is a subplot about Grace's older brother, who is mentally challenged. The joke here is that he's constantly horny, and his parents worry about what he's doing with a mentally challenged girl. Turning a mentally challenged kid into comic relief is more like something out of South Park than this show. Making him a horndog comic relief in the style of Larry from Three's Company or Vinnie from Doogie Howser, M.D. or Quagmire from Family Guy, well, that's just strange.

Other nitpicks:
• The size of Amy's belly varies from episode to episode, and not in a "gradually getting bigger" way, but in a "how is she going from more pregnant to less pregnant back to more pregnant?" way. At one point near the end of the season, she mentions being at eight months, while not looking large at all. I'm no expert, but shouldn't she be in full-on Hutt mode by that point?
• These characters randomly run into each so much, it had me wondering if this town has a population of just these fourteen or so people.
• You know that thing where two characters are talking and then a third character happens to be walking by, hears part of the conversation, and joins in with perfect timing? This show does that several times per episode.

This three-disc set contains all twelve episodes of the show's second season. The picture and audio quality is just fine. This is not a show with a lot of flashy visuals or room-busting sound, but there were no obvious flaws. There are two short featurettes, "Character Secrets," and "Cast Close-ups," which are high on fluff and low on substance. These are followed by music video by The Strange Familiar.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

Despite the stale plotting and dreadful dialogue, something interesting happened to me after I was two or three episodes into this show -- I wanted to see what happened next. By far the most interesting storyline is the ongoing question of whether Amy will put the baby up for adoption. About half the characters want the adoption, and the other half wants her to keep it. This makes for a lot of interesting tension and character dynamics. It's too bad the rest of the storylines couldn't be as interesting.

A handful of reliable and likable actors show up here and there throughout the series, and their work stands out above the regular cast, including John Schneider (Smallville), Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters), Kathy Kinney (The Drew Carey Show), and Bianca Lawson (Kendra from Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Another standout is Renee Olstead (13 Going on 30) as Madison, another friend of Amy's who sort of floats in and out of the series. Unlike the other regulars, she has a knack for making the clunky dialogue work. The whole show picks up energy whenever she's on screen.

Closing Statement

This could have -- and should have -- been a great show. The real secret of this secret life is how it doesn't live up to its potential.

The Verdict

Guilty.

Thou Shall Not Crave Thy Neighbour

Opening Statement

Wait, it's another series about a special young girl who falls in love with an older male vampire? With a premise like that, a series has to bring its A-game because its staring down stiff competition from the master Joss Whedon's Buffy the Vampire Slayer. True Blood certainly tries hard to be competitive, amping up the sex and violence in true HBO fashion, but it can't quite find its legs in these first twelve episodes. Still, fans of vamps and high-definition video will want to give this set at least one spin.

Facts of the Case

In the not-so-distant future, vampires have come out of the "coffin," thanks to the availability of TruBlood, a Japanese synthetic blood. The creatures are become more mainstream, and exhibit A in this case is the arrival of vamp Bill Compton (Stephen Moyer, Quills) in the sleepy Louisiana town of Bon Temps. There, he meets a psychic waitress named Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin, The Piano). The two strike up an unlikely relationship, even as Bon Temps is reeling from a series of murders that appear to be related to vampires.

All twelve episodes are spread across five discs on True Blood: The Complete First Season (Blu-ray):

Disc One
• "Strange Love"
• "The First Taste"

Disc Two
• "Mine"
• "Escape from Dragon House"

Disc Three
• "Sparks Fly Out"
• "Cold Ground"
• "Burning House of Love"

Disc Four
• "The Fourth Man on Fire"
• "Plaisir d'amour"
• "I Don't Wanna Know"

Disc Five
• "To Love is to Bury"
• "You'll Be the Death of Me"

The Evidence

The thing that really gives me hope that True Blood will come into its own are the characters. Sookie Stackhouse, a small-town waitress who can read minds, is a very compelling character. Despite her gift she stays in Bon Temps and doesn't try to profit from it (by say, going to Vegas for some Texas Hold 'Em). Her combination of innocence (she's never been intimate with a man as the series starts) and experience (she can read minds, so she has a pretty good idea what the world is like) makes for an interesting premise. Bill Compton is a similar combo, but he mixes quiet Southern gentleman with ferocious vampire, and watching those two sides play out keeps the show going.

Those two alone would probably have been enough to carry the show, but we get a whole cast of other interesting people populating Bon Temps. My total favorite Tara starts out as a total bitchy black stereotype, but as her story is gradually revealed we see that she is a woman both troubled and strong. Plus, she gets some of the best dialogue in the show. A close second is Lafayette, Tara's cousin, a short-order cook at the bar Sookie works at who is also an entrepreneur on the side, specializing in illegal merchandise. He also starts out as a stereotypical flamboyant black man, but his ambitions eventually mark him out as more. My least favorite character starting out was Sookie's brother Jason, but as the series progressed I couldn't help but be charmed by all the crazy, stupid situations he gets himself into. Finally, Sookie's boss carries a pretty big torch for her, and his steadfast support of her despite her dalliance with Bill makes him a compelling character.

All of these characters are sharply delineated with some occasionally fantastic dialogue. Although the show attempts to create a complete alternate world, it's not above camping it up. That shows clearly through some of the more morbid set pieces, but also through the dialogue. Sookie gets to hear some pretty hilarious (and offensive) monologues with her gift, Tara goes off on anyone for any reason to humorous results, and Lafayette gets to crack wise about everybody. His best line might be when a character tells him that a man barks in his sleep and he replies "Oh, damn, white folks is fucked up." A line like that could easily fall flat, but it's perfectly delivered, and none of the other actors skimp on excellent line readings.

The other thing True Blood has going for it is the universe it has created. It's just enough like ours that it resonates, but the addition of vampires makes it new and interesting. I also like that it's set in a sleepy Southern town rather than the generic urban environments that vampires often get saddled with these days. It's obvious the creators have thought this world through. We have fictional products (TruBlood), new slang (fangbanger -- one who has sex with vampires), and even a vampire rights organization. The level of detail is impressive and makes me think the series could go the distance.

Another thing that gives me hope for the show is this Blu-ray release. Rather then cramming all twelve episodes onto three discs like they could have, the producers of this set spread them out over five which gives the audiovisual presentation room to breathe. True Blood is not a slick show, so it's no surprise the video doesn't look shiny and new. However, the transfer does an excellent job of maintaining the look of the show with a decent amount of detail and strong blacks. The audio is equally strong, with audible dialogue and an impressive use of the soundscape.

Extras ported over from the standard def release include six audio commentaries with various cast and crew, as well as a "documentary" on vampires and some commercials. For Blu-ray, we get an "enhanced viewing mode" that creates an overlay on each episode that allows access to trivia, a map of Bon Temps, and some additional information about the world of True Blood.

The Rebuttal Witnesses

The whole mystery aspect of this first season simply didn't grab me. If it had I would easily put this in the upper echelon of HBO series, but as it is the murders just never felt that dramatic or compelling.

In the quibble department, Bon Temps has no relation to the Louisiana I know. The accents and attitudes are all a bit iffy, and I'm not sure the geography works out either. Louisiana has enough interesting culture that I think that it should be used more effectively or not at all.

I'm also concerned about the sex and violence of the show. I'm not against it generally, but one of the great advantages of telling vampire stories is that the storyteller can cloak subversive views on sex and violence into the allegory of the vampire and its bite. Throwing all the sex and violence onto the screen turns the subtext into text and makes the whole thing infinitely less compelling as a vampire story. In fact, I'm almost willing to argue that this would be a stronger story without all the vampire trappings.

Closing Statement

Although it's not a stone-classic like other HBO series, True Blood is compelling enough to warrant a viewing for any fans of violence and vampires. The strong audiovisual presentation and interesting extras of this Blu-ray set make it easy to recommend.

The Verdict

The court is not entirely convinced of its charms, but True Blood is not guilty.

The making of a religion.

The Case

The Bible Unearthed is based on the book of the same name by authors Israel Finkelstein and Neil Silberman, who also take center-stage in this video adaptation. The thrust of both works is an academic and archaeological exploration of the truths espoused in the Old Testament. The DVD is broken into four 52-minuted segments, each targeting a section of The Bible.

The way things shake-out is what you'd expect from a documentary series: lots of expert interviews (in this case, researchers, academics, and archaeologists); pan and scan zooms of Bible excerpts, historical documents, and artifacts from long ago; sweeping panoramic views of relevant geographical locales; and on-site footage of actual excavations. Episodes include:

• Episode 1: "The Patriarchs"
Focuses on the Pentateuch's big three: Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

• Episode 2: "The Exodus"
All about the Israelites and their flight from the Egyptians, as well as a more global look at the role of Egypt in the B.C. world.

• Episode 3: "The Kings"
Joshua, Solomon, Josiah, and David, most of the names that occupied the throne of Israel.

• Episode 4: "The Book"
An overall look into the legitimacy of the Old Testament historical record. Also, a comparison of religions back in the day, worship of Yahweh, Ba'al, etc.

The whole presentation is very slick, expertly staged, and exhaustively researched. The Bible Unearthed is essentially an educational program and certainly one of the finest documentaries I've seen on the subject. However, crammed with substance as it may be, the execution just lacks the flair needed to engage the mind-wanderers. I understand if the producers aren't interested in that demographic, but the breadth of scholarship is so impressive, it's a shame the dryness of the release might not attract the casual viewer. As far as Old Testament video scholarship, The Bible Unearthed is tops.

An attractive video is marred by its fake widescreen. The 2.0 stereo is pretty much narrator-driven. No extras.

The Verdict

Not Guilty. Let my people go.

"More people will have probably heard of Harry Potter than any other single person outside of religious leaders." -- Film critic, Alan Park

The Case

Harry Potter. Perhaps you've heard of him? He's one of the world's most instantly recognizable literary characters. It was a daunting task to translate that success into not one, but seven potentially successful films. The novels have been translated into 60 different languages and credited by many educators with a renewed enthusiasm for reading in children of all ages. The series has sold more than 325 million books (oh wait, there's another few thousand...and there's another...) to date.

With Hollywood's radar buzzing over the solid-gold potential of a Potter film franchise, it took just six months after the release of the first book for Warner Bros. to secure the movie rights to the first four books for a cool $4 million. Given the worldwide love for the books, there were some serious concerns from fans about bringing the stories to the screen. How could anyone possibly write screenplays close to the scope of the novels, without resulting in seriously flawed final product? Even more concerning was the question of casting. Who would play Harry? This began one of the greatest talent searches in film history, as the production team scoured the globe, testing more than 40,000 young actors for the three lead roles.

At just 11 years old, with very little acting experience between them, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint were chosen to play three of the most coveted film roles in history. Despite the excitement of being chosen, the young stars must also have felt no small amount of pressure, as the weight of a hugely popular franchise rested on their prepubescent shoulders.

Harry Potter Kids delivers a fairly quick behind-the-scenes look at the development of the internationally acclaimed series into one of the most popular and lucrative film franchises of all time, from the early success of the books, to the casting process, and brief personal bios on Radcliffe, Watson, and Grint. Viewers get a clear sense of the Harry Potter phenomenon and the incredible likelihood the series will finish on a high note -- both critically and fiscally -- when it all comes to a close when Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II hits theaters in July 2011.

The first five films have generated more than $4 billion at the box office, making author J.K. Rowling a very wealthy lady with an estimated fortune of $1 billion. Harry Potter Kids delivers a solid audio/visual presentation likely please both causal and die-hard fans alike. However, a disappointing absence of extra features makes it hard to recommend for purchase. For devoted fans, this brief documentary won't likely offer anything new. For anyone who'd like a quick look behind the curtain at translating an epic book series into a successful film franchise, this release has you covered.

The Verdict

Get on your brooms and ride!

"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine." -- REM

The Case

For centuries, prophets and civilizations before us have hidden cryptic messages which seem to point to a cataclysmic event that may happen within our lifetime. Based on a manuscript and drawings discovered in 1994, Nostradamus himself may have pointed directly to global events of the current generation, in an attempt to scare us into changing our course. But have we received that message in time?

December 21, 2012. No, it's not the work of an extremely well-organized staff Christmas party committee. The date has been set as not only the end of the Mayan calendar, but also the supposed time frame when several seemingly unrelated events will come together. It's hard to glean a solid connection between the disparate events, but 2012 is being set up as a memorable year for all the wrong reasons.

As I watched the feature, I quickly became aware of two important facts: 1) There are no scientists who either support or refute the theories presented, and 2) you'll consistently hear phrases like "we suppose," "can be interpreted as," "seems to indicate that," "may be highly significant" and "what many believe to be." Not exactly confidence builders. Worse than that, we're presented with theories and possible future events to indicate no less than the end of the world .

Authors, futurists, and Mayan scholars -- a hodge-podge of talking heads -- all see signs and wonders in the architecture, drawings, and cryptic messages of ages past that all (in theory) point to a global cataclysm. If this event or phenomenon will actually happen in just three years, why are there no scientists who can point to concrete evidence right now? Referred to, at various times, as a galactic super wave or an unprecedented galactic alignment, the predicted events generally come off sounding more like Gene Roddenberry than Stephen Hawking.

At the risk of sounding like a curmudgeonly skeptic, I believe in God and don't doubt the Bible as an historical document. I also believe future historical events may involve global conflicts currently developing around the world. However, I am not a believer in making assumptions and crying wolf based solely on a broad range of loosely connected symbols and events. I'm not exactly sure when the History Channel made the paradigm shift from scientific and historical fact to the sensationalism that dominates much of Nostradamus: 2012.

Never missing an opportunity to capitalize on the current hot topics or flavors of the day, Hollywood will also be weighing in on this issue with Roland Emmerich's film 2012 in November 2009. A film like this which looks to capitalize on the very real fears of people around the world is in poor taste. But what can we expect from a director who brought us Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow or an industry that thinks remaking Footloose is a good idea?

The audio and video presentation is what one would expect from an average TV documentary. The sound and image are solid and free from any artifacts or distractions. The only extra feature is some additional interview footage. None of it would have added anything to the documentary and the feature benefits from a shortened run time.

After spending the majority of the time forecasting gloom, doom, and galactic cataclysm, Nostradamus: 2012 does manage to go out on a high note. Apparently, nothing Nostradamus predicted said we'd be snuffed out like a candle. If we can weather the coming storm, mankind will enter a new era of promise and growth. So there's hope for us after all.

The Verdict

Nostradamus: 2012 is guilty of making a lot of assumptions without basing them on scientific fact.