Blog From The Bench

Ozzy Osbourne was the first rockstar to go on to a reality show, and reveal that despite his "Prince of Darkness" nickname he was just a dad struggling to keep his family happy and well cared for. It was a move that baffled long time Ozzy fans, and made him a cute MTV icon. Now we have the guys from INXS coaching young singers on ROCKSTAR, Tommy Lee going to college, and Gene Simmons teaching proper English music students to rock out. What is going on? When did rockstars become so sweet and cuddly? Gene Simmons even says at the start of his reality show "I wear more make-up and higher heels than your mother", but then he goes all Dead Poet's Society (or at least Jack Black) on us by teaching some stuffy Brit kids how to rock out and grab life on Rock School. And Tommy Lee at college is just... well... adorable. I'm having trouble listening to my old copies of Shout at the Devil and feeling any evil knowing the drummer is now wearing fuzzy band hats and cleaning toilets as a fraternity pledge. My heavy metal heroes of youth are now respectable and even cute. I feel like it might be a sign of something apocalyptic. Lions laying down with lambs, and men in spikey leather showing their soft side on national TV. I want my bad boy rockers back. When is Eminem going on The Bachelor or whatever else is next?

To add to my moving woes, I have to buy a new computer. I've been shopping at places like COMP USA, Best Buy, Circuit City, and even Fry's looking for that elusive tower/monitor combo that speaks to me. Despite my Internet presence I am a neophyte in the computer world. I use them to surf the web, write my reviews, and that's about it. All of these potential GEEK SQUAD members are showing me "media center machines", "this one's great at hyperthreading", and "you need this if you're going to get into 3-D resolution on-line gaming". How about you just sell me something I can use? They are worse then cars salesmen! Sad part is, at least I understand a car salesguy's babble. I glaze over the minute people start speaking to me about why I should consider having more than 3 USB ports. Until I bought an iPod I had no clue about them anyway! I have an iPod and a Digital Camera - I only need two ports that I know of.

And why is it important to buy a computer that will take you into the future? Guess what? All of them on the shelves today will be obsolete within 6 months, replaced with newer models with faster processors and more applications. To me they are like televisions... they will be antiques in a matter of months. A good blender, great shower head, things like that they never go out or become obsolete. But electronics? You might as well get out cheaply with what you need rather than loading up on extra RAM and Hard Drive space to accomodate your future needs. Just live in the now! Buy a refurbished or last year's model and be happy with the price break rather than trying to keep up with some mythical geek gold standard that you will never reach anyway. Jeez!

And then to add insult to injury I'm looking at Mac versus a PC. I won't even start telling you the raging debate going on in my head and on sales floors across Houston as I weigh the pros and cons. You want to hear something sad? I'm leaning towards Apple not because of the nifty O/S, virus immunity, or the fact they have great consumer rapport. No, I am looking at them because I think they look cool. How shallow is that? I like the design. Forget that I am considering flinging myself into a niche world of incompatibility with 90% of the world - they just look better on my desk and go with my interior design. Call me crazy, but I may buy a computer solely on how it looks. I'm such a rube!