Well, this weekend I am in Las Vegas - the city of neon buffets where you can smoke anywhere. Vegas has always had a magical Rat Pack appeal for me, and I packed my best "player" outfits so I could feel all suave at the poker table of the CASINO ROYALE. But two things have conspired against my illusive Sinatra visions of the desert oasis: NASCAR and Spring Break. Huge NASCAR race going on here, and every Bubba from the Bible Belt is here outfitted in their Jeff Gordon jackets. I can handle cigars on the betting floor, but now CAESARS PALACE has had to place spitoons around the table for all the Skoal. Then there are all the high school students. Now I get heading down to Florida to get your freak on, but Vegas? Entire squads of cheerleaders are running down the strip knocking over any adult that gets in their way. Jeesh! I pine for the old days back before everything got so Disney-fied over here in Vegas. The Rat Pack glamour has been replaced by arcade rooms for kids, and Hawaiian shirts and flip flops now part of the dress code. George Clooney and I just have to imagine now that Vegas used to have class and style. What happens here stays here, but ugh... I think I'm looking forward to heading home where I can dress for dinner if I want, and swarms of kids won't knock me down.
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• Location: Houston, TX