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Judge David Ryan • Location: Natick, MA
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The HSX Report -- 6/7/07
June 7th, 2007 12:29PM

Today's feature -- after the IPOs, a quick look at the upcoming releases for the weekend.

The Girl from IPOnema
You know, I'm starting to hate Thursday IPOs. They're always borderline projects -- stuff that could be great, or could never amount to diddly, and it's a toss-up as to which outcome will actually occur. So I'm not even going to comment on the potential for these three films -- you're on your own; use your best judgment. Instead, I'll just make fun of the actors in them...

(1) What Happens In Vegas (WHAPV) -- H$25
Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher accidentally get married in Vegas! Wacky hijinks ensue! Wow... there's a lot of brainpower on display. You know what you'd get if you let those two breed? Kuato.

(2) Laws of Motion (LAWSM) -- H$18
Hilary Swank and Matthew Perry in a dysfunctional family comedy! No word on whether it will be the fat Matthew Perry, or the overly-muscular Hilary Swank... but I think we know Chad Lowe won't be buying tickets. BOO YAH!

(3) Cry of the Owl (CRYOW) -- H$12
Sarah Polley is a woman who falls in love with her stalker! Gee, I wonder if Sarah will.... will.... oh, I can't make fun of you, Sarah! You're my doe-eyed blonde sweetie 4-eva!!!!!!! BFF!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxox

(Sorry... briefly turned into a 16-year-old girl there for a second.)

Today's Feature: Weekend Releases
Three new flicks this weekend, which should see some tight competition. First, we've got Ocean's Thirteen, which -- given the success of the first two and the stars involved -- is practically sneaking into theaters, it's gotten such little fanfare. This should be the "mom & pop" film of the weekend; i.e. the one that the average mainstream filmgoer will try to attend. Grabbing the kid audience is Surf's Up, Sony's CG animated surfing penguin film. Surprisingly, this film could have a lot of crossover appeal, much like Ice Age before it -- I wouldn't be surprised if Surf's Up drew in a lot of adults, too. Rounding out the weekend is Hostel 2, Eli Roth's follow-up to his surprise horror hit. It probably will delist in the $45-50 range like Hostel did, as is typical of successful horror films. Of the three, the safest bet to open big is Ocean's, which could easily make $50M or so for the weekend, if not more. Surf's Up is the big question mark -- if it gets good reviews and good word-of-mouth, it could grab a healthy box office take; maybe even as high as $35M. Hostel 2, unless it's absolutely godawful, should roll in at about $15-20M or so. But who could be the REAL big winner this weekend? Knocked Up. I can't remember the last time I went to see a film on a Monday night, and the theater was full. This film's definitely got legs -- and the market is reflecting that, driving its price up H$10 beyond its weekend adjust.

Remember, comments and suggestions always welcomed here -- send them to Enjoy your day. Excelsior! Long live Kuato Diaz-Kutcher!

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