One of the more esoteric, yet fun, features of IMDb is their "on this day" page, which is conveniently buried in a sidebar on the left side of the main page. For any day of the year, you can pull up a list of births, deaths, and marriages -- or, at least, as much information as the database has in it on such things. Here, for example, is the list for my birthday, April 4th.

I'm quite pleased with my co-dated birthday haul, truth be told. In the spirit of Opening Day, Fever Pitch, and Alex Rodriguez's inability to pick up a ground ball, I suggest engaging in an all-new game of my invention -- the All-Birthday All-Star Lineup game. Fun for ages 9 to 90!

For ABASLG purposes, an entertainment figure is considered as "good" as his or her reputation or looks, or whatever other random criterion you choose to use, of course. (Except for athletes, who get to count their athletic talent.) Therefore, Marlon Brando would be, say, the same as David Ortiz; whereas Carrot Top would equate to, oh, Ramiro Mendoza.

I'll get the ball rolling with my starting 9, and my pitching rotation.

(1) Jim Fregosi (4/4/1942)
Might as well have an actual ballplayer as your leadoff tablesetter. Fregosi wasn't all that great a hitter, and has proven to be a decent-but-unspectacular manager. However, he is the answer to the trivia question "Who did the Mets acquire in exchange for future multiple Cy Young Award winner and Hall-of-Famer Nolan Ryan?" No relation, by the way. To Ryan, not Fregosi.

(2) Maya Angelou (4/4/1928)
Wafting breeze of baseball
patterns of stitching spin manically towards home
Swing! Bat flies through air
and dawn breaks on a newborn single

(3) Scott Rolen (4/4/1975)
Someone has to drive in runs on this team....

(4) Robert Downey, Jr. (4/4/1965)
Everything will be fine, as long as we can get someone else to piddle in the little testing cup for him....

(5) Tom Byron (4/4/1961)
You always put the big bats in an RBI position.

(6) Clive Davis (4/4/1934)
Also in charge of the music played between innings, of course.

(7) Andrei Tarkovsky (4/4/1932)
None of his teammates understand a word he's saying, and his at-bats seem to last forever -- but don't hang the Soviet Splinter a curveball.

(8) Anthony Perkins (4/4/1932)
Doesn't shower with his teammates, by their request.

(9) Barry Pepper (4/4/1970)
Just barely makes the squad, solely for being born on EXACTLY the same day as I.

And your 5-person pitching rotation:

(1) Eric Rohmer (4/4/1920)
Fans love his starts, because they never know whether he'll pitch a no-hitter or just sit on the mound for 3 1/2 hours staring at the ball and occasionally shouting obscenities in French.

(2) John Cameron Swayze (4/4/1906)
Has no stuff whatsoever; gets absolutely hammered by opposing batters every time he takes the mound. But darned if he doesn't keep at it. Why, one might say he takes a lickin' and....

(3) David Cross (4/4/1964)
Popular hurler does lots of charitable work for the Mr. Show Foundation for Never-Nudes.

(4) Hugh Masekela (4/4/1939)
Also performs the National Anthem before home games.

(5) Graham Norton (4/4/1963)
Throws four pitches: the So Fastball, the So Curveball, the So Changeup, and a So Cut Fastball that breaks in to lefthanders.

And coming out of the bullpen to finish the game, your closer:

Robbie Rist (4/4/1964)
A #1 draft pick out of Burbank High, Rist became an all-star by singlehandedly retiring the entire Brady Bunch side on 17 pitches in the 7-9th innings of Game 7 of the 1974 World Series, then cemented his legend by blasting through the Battlestar Galactica lineup in the 1980 Series.

Oh, by the way -- I'll be up in the owner's box during games, canoodling with Xenia Seeberg (4/4/1972) and Natasha Lyonne (4/4/1979), and enjoying the street magic of David Blaine(pwah) (4/4/1973).

Heath Legder (4/4/1979) is not invited -- unless he brings that on-again, off-again girlfriend of his. Especially if she's off-again....

Play ball!