I guess I should jump on board this new-fangled blog thingamajiggle. Because if there's one thing I love to do, it's blather on endlessly about esoteric things as if people actually cared about what I think! I am the Internet Generation, baby!

Anyhow, today's topic is Fever Pitch. More specifically -- WHY JIMMY FALLON??????? Really -- this could be the greatest film ever, except for its lead. I mean, I'm going to go see it -- Drew + Sox = my $10 happily handed over -- but Fallon? Mr. "I can't get through a f--ing 2-minute sketch without breaking character and laughing hysterically at my own overwhelming funnyness?" What, Horatio Sanz was taken already?

For those few who don't know, Pitch is a U.S. remake of the 1997 British film of the same name, both based on Nick "Don't Call Me Bruce" Hornby's autobiographical novel. The original starred Colin Firth. Who didn't break character when he hosted SNL last year. Of course he also wasn't very funny... but that's another story. Anyhow, in a strange karmic congruence of coincidence, the Brothers Farrelly were actually able to keep the name, despite the fact that it's a pun involving "pitch" being the proper term for a soccer (a.k.a. football) field. In the UK version, the protagonist Paul is a football-mad lad whose love affair with his beloved Arsenal squad conflicts with, and occasonally parallels, his love affairs with the comely Sara (Ruth Gemmell). In the US version, the protagonist Ben (Ben?) is, instead, baseball-mad. But hey -- you can still use "pitch" in connection with baseball, so it's all good! Hornby's clever pun is preserved for US audiences in (roughly) its intended form. Funny how that works out, innit?

Unlike the original, which was scripted by Hornby himself, this forthcoming Farrelly Brothers production features a script by Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel, the Rosencranz and Guildenstern of contemporary Hollywood. (No, I don't know what that means either -- but it sort of sounds intelligent, doesn't it?) But then, High Fidelity and About A Boy were both adapted screenplays, and they turned out okay, so this isn't necessarily the kiss of death. And the original didn't have Johnny Jesus Damon. So there.

But again, we return to Jimmy Fallon. Okay, he's Irish, and I'm supposed to watch my homies' collective backs. At least the ones who don't plant bombs and stuff. But again, I digress. But he's a NEW F-ING YORKER. He's got as much Sox street cred as Darryl Strawberry. (Who probably wouldn't crack up in the middle of a sketch, had he been off the coke long enough to have hosted SNL.) How 'bout you go hang out with Sandler and reminisce about how YOUR home town team can never be surpassed in the "choke" department, Jimbo? But again, I digress. Leaving aside the obvious choice for the role -- Matt Damon, who probably would have been prohibitively expensive to hire -- are you telling me that they couldn't get someone a bit more believable in this role? What, John Cusack wasn't available? (He's a Chicago boy -- he can relate, dammit.) He's been too busy DOING NOTHING??? Oh wait -- I'm sure Fallon's thespian glory in Taxi made the thought of casting another in the role incomprehensible.

Sigh. Could be the greatest film ever, but instead will be forever tainted by Jimmy Fallon. Sweet Jesus, didn't we suffer enough after Celtic Pride???

On the other hand, Drew Barrymore makes all things good. Please excuse me while I go have very impure thoughts about her.