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Judge Eric Profancik's Blog

Judge Eric Profancik • Location: Cincinnati, OH
• Member since: April 2002
• 291 full reviews
• 84 small claims

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The Bad

March 29th, 2005 4:06PM
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There's one part of this gig that is both a blessing and a curse - the reader feedback. On the one side, I truly appreciate every piece of email I get from readers. I read every one and respond back to you. It's the least you deserve for taking the time to let me know your thoughts on my thoughts. I enjoy the feedback and it helps me become a better writer.

On the other side, sometimes you get reader feedback you don't like. And I don't mean the outright nasty stuff that says you're a moron for panning a title someone loves. No. In this case, it's feedback from the director of a film that you didn't exactly give high praise to. Recently I got another piece of email like that; I won't say for which film. Simply, I didn't exactly care for what I saw - it was a joke that just didn't work for me. While I was fairly negative, I did try to say some nice things about the film nonetheless. I hate to slam down on someone's work because you understand what an ordeal it can be to get it made. So, all those times we Judges are whimsically assailing a film, we have to remember that that film is someone's baby. I stand by my decision, but you just wish you'd get more positive feedback from the directors. I know some other Judges have been so fortunate, but not I.

Re: "Ouch, Man...Just Ouch"

March 25th, 2005 4:50AM
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I paid $2.199 for gas yesterday in Cincinnati, Ohio. I'll take your cheap gas any day.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

March 23rd, 2005 4:42PM
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I've finally had a chance to watch Star Wars: The Clone Wars on DVD. This was my first taste of the cartoon series, and while I greatly enjoyed it and loved the action, I have one big complaint about it: It isn't Star Wars.

Without question, George Lucas's Star Wars has a very definite feel to it, and The Clone Wars does not encapsulate it - not at all. Why not? Well, the thing that makes the show fun to watch is exactly what distances it from its big brothers: the action. As I watched Obi Wan, Anakin, and Mace kick some bad guy booty, I wasn't watching Star Wars, I was watching The Matrix. Jedi are powerful, but they ain't that powerful. Force pushing entire legions of droids, deflecting laser blasts with just their hands, and leaping super tall droid ships in a single bound? Sorry, I'm not buying it. The Clone Wars made the Jedi too strong, too powerful, too cool. In Lucas's universe, Jedi are strong but not supermen. Jedi are arrogant not cocky. Granted, many Jedi died to bring us this DVD, yet they weren't the same people I've seen in the last five movies (or even the last two).

So, as I sat back and watched Mace Windu channel Samuel L. Jackson in ways Jackson could never do himself, I didn't believe that I was in the Star Wars universe. I enjoyed my visit to this parallel dimension, but I'm still asking, "What is the Clone Wars?"

Snapper Snappers!

March 19th, 2005 4:01PM
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Dear Studios,

Lately I've seen more and more of those awful DVD cases that have those two snaps on the sides - those clips you have to open before you can open the case. I bought two DVDs today and both of them had those insane snaps - one on a recent movie, The Incredibles, and one on a slightly "older" movie, The Hours (now smartly price at $5.99!).

Well, I know I speak for many who despise these clips very, very much. It's bad enough to have to tear open the plastic, peel off three stickers along the edges, remove the security tag from inside, but now we also have to open two clips? Why do you hate us? Are we not bolstering your bottom lines? Are we not buying enough DVDs to keep you profitable for decades to come? Please, for the love of god, get rid of those frakking snaps! We'll love you for it.

Sincerely,
Judge Eric

It's About the Future

March 19th, 2005 7:50AM
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Do you have one of these on your car yet? You should.

Episode III: "A Tearjerker"?

March 18th, 2005 7:12AM
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From a recent CNN article, George says "It's not like the old 'Star Wars,' " Lucas told theater owners at the ShoWest convention. "This one's a little bit more emotional. We like to describe it as 'Titanic' in space. It's a tearjerker."

Emotional? Tearjerker?

Now I'm afraid! I want dark. I want intense. I want action. I want drama! I was hoping he'd redeem himself in the end with this one, but Lucas looks like he's going to completely ruin the lustre of the franchise. As if Jar Jar wasn't bad enough, who knows what crap he's going to try and pull in this one.

Oh well, I've already requested the day off from work so I'm going May 19th, warts and all.

Dang, it had better be dark!

March Madness

March 17th, 2005 12:43PM
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Sorry, world, but I truly LOATHE and HATE March Madness. Basketball is the one sport I could never get into (I'd be more inclined to watch tennis or golf!), and this time of year is like three weeks of constant fingernails on a chalkboard. I know I'm in the minority, especially considering if my office is a microcosm of the sportsworld. As I sit here at my desk (in a company in Cincinnati, Ohio), the insanity of my office mates grows. They are all chatty and excited about the big games. They haven't stopped talking about it all day. Now that the games are on, all their radios are tuned in and many of them are in our conference room watching it on a projection screen. Yeah, UK won! Now let's all watch and see what UC will do! I can hear them yelling and screaming throughout the floor. Well, good for them and bad for me, but boy do I hate March Madness. Why isn't there just one other person in this office who would enjoy a nice discussion about movies, DVDs, or Star Trek? Is it April yet?

Project Greenlight

March 16th, 2005 4:54PM
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Back in 2002 I had the chance to review the first season of Project Greenlight for the site. In a nutshell, I really enjoyed the series and getting to see what it takes to make a movie - and I was even marginally impressed by its final product, Stolen Summer. I missed both season one and season two when they aired on HBO, but now that it's on Bravo, Tuesday nights at 9:00pm, I'm setting my VCR for this season. Last night was the first episode where we watch the selection process. This time it's a bit different (at least it's different from season one but I can't compare it to season two) where there were two contests: one to pick a script and one to pick a director.

Wow! We're off to a great start on this one. Having created two box office duds, the backers at Dimension (bye bye Miramax) decided this time they need to make a commercially viable product. So, the studio heads took control and forced the team to pick the worst script but had the best chance, in their humble opinions, to make back a few bucks. What was awesome in this part was good old Matt Damon. In the first season, he fought long and hard against Pete Jones, and this time he's fighting hard to stop Dimension from choosing this awful script. He loses the fight, but he has a few great things to say. His best line to the thick-headed studio guys goes like this:

"You're sitting two seats away from the Master of Horror (Wes Craven) and he's telling you it sucks."

...but you're going to try and make it anyways!

(This time Craven has been brought on board to be an executive producer.)

But Matt's point was that the studios are destroying the whole concept of Project Greenlight to make a buck. Everyone agrees the script sucks, but they think it'll make a buck. To hell with your quest to find new and fresh talent, money is more important. At least he and Affleck (and maybe Chris) get in the last lick by picking Gulager picked as the director. This will be interesting.

So, for the likes of us who will never be on the inside of any real Hollywood production, this series offers a fascinating insight into the process and the deceipts and the catastrophes. Add this show to your watch list. I think you'll like it.

What to Say?

March 7th, 2005 4:39PM
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My first post on The Verdict blog and I am not sure what to go on about. While I can ramble on for 2000 words in any review, I find that I'm not certain what would be interesting to talk about here. Living in Cincinnati, there is minimal opportunity for exciting "theater" interactions and my movie viewing habits are minimal. During the winter, I find myself watching too much TV and the rest of the time spent watching screeners. Oddly, I'm a bit slow in the screener process, even for my favorite movies. As you know, I'm a huge Trekkie and I'm in the midst of doing First Contact. I started it last Thursday and finally finished the last bonus feature a few minutes ago. That's pretty slow - especially when you compare it to some of the other Judges on the site. Wow, I really wonder how they find the time to watch and write so much every week? Moving on.

That's about it for now. I know, what a lame start. You'd think I don't blog but I have been for well over a year now, except on my other blog my only discussion about movies is cool trailers and links to The Verdict. Hopefully I'll find something more enlightening to say in the near future. But for now, I'll end it with a quick hello to Maryanne.

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