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Judge Eric Profancik • Location: Cincinnati, OH
• Member since: April 2002
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Spider-Man 3
May 5th, 2007 2:17PM

Saturday morning, 10:30 am, and I'm sitting in the movie theater, surrounded, as I knew I would be, by children. Even at PG-13, Spidey draws the brats; and at 2 hours and 20 minutes, I know they won't last.

And they don't. They stomp their feet, talk, sing into the soda cups, get up out of their chairs, and make all other manner of ruckus.

And I don't. Oh, I stay until the end, but I found my attention drifting on several occasions in this latest installment in the franchise.Spider-Man 3 has its moments, quite a few of them, but it also drags at parts.

Whatever I say here is irrelevant as you've already made up your mind on this one. And, honestly, I can't garner enough emotion either way. I'm not screaming that this was either a great or a bad movie. It simply is, fairly average, fairly unexceptional, fairly acceptable for a $5.00 matinee.

You'd think a movie that contains Spidey, MJ, Gwen Stacy, dark Spidey, Venom, Goblin Jr, and Sandman wouldn't be average. It couldn't and shouldn't be average with that much going on. Yet it is. My biggest surprise comes in the fact that all of them get their time in this movie. They all add some little thing to the plot, but not all of them are all fleshed out. Did we really need this much lore in one movie? Not really. Sandman could have been totally excised, Venom wasn't totally fleshed out, and so forth; but somehow it's all meshed together to make a cogent narrative about redemption and acceptance.

So we get development with Peter and MJ, Peter and Harry, Peter and Aunt May, and Peter and himself.

But do we go to see Spidey for these things? A little bit, yes. The first two films brought great character drama to the screen, helping to make this overall trilogy more than a simple summer spectacle. But we really go for the action, and there's some interesting and fun action moments in this one. You'll go away happy with those moments, but I think I wanted more. With so many nemesis, you'd expect more fights - at least I did - but there aren't that many. Then again, being 3 hours since I left the theater, maybe I've forgotten some already.

That, I believe, will be the legacy of Spider-Man 3: You feel like you get your money's worth while watching it, but you'll simply forget it as soon as you leave the theater. It won't leave as lasting as impression as the first two.

Spider-Man 3, you've already made up your mind. I don't think this is going to be the one we're talking about at the end of summer.


And one thing that I want to mention but couldn't find a place above is the poorly placed gag with J. Jonah during the big climax fight. Jonah's camera joke could be funny if it didn't take about a full minute during this pivotal battle. It's so stunningly jarring that it stalls the battle. Very, very bad placement.

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