true confessions: movies you never finished watching

[molly1216]

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas..i have so far made it about 2 reels in, but i keep feeling like i am not high enough to enjoy this movie.

ShowGirls I apologize unreservedly to the portion of this board who believe this should be enshrined next to Plan 9 from outer space I have deliberately watch a LOT of bad movies in my life, but this is a movie to watch with friends, sitting alone with it in my living room just makes me feel dirty.

Bob Guccione's Caligula I think they lost me at the chicken masturbation machine. Reason: see above. However I always marveled at how it didn't kill a lot of careers stone dead.

I know there are more, probably many more but these are some of the 'big' ones i remember. It will take me a little while to remember a few more,

are there movies you have bailed on?

[Gabriel Girard]

Gus Van Sant's Last Days - Pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry.

Baise-Moi - A rape scene shot like a porn flick (clos-ups of penetration) within the first 15 mins - not an agreeable experience.

Serenity - sorry fanboys and fangirls, I couldn't get into this at all - I guess I didn't ''get it''...

[mavrach]

Akira - On two seperate attempts, I made it maybe a half hour in.

Kagemusha - I love me some Kurosawa, just couldn't get into it.

[BenShultz]

Stardust Memories: Really rubbed me the wrong way. Woody Allen is no stranger to self-indulgence, but I felt he went overboard here with the whole Fellini thing. I could probably explain my position better if I actually finished it.

The Man Who Fell to Earth: I've gone through a period of finding it impossible to finish Nic Roeg movies, but I'm gradually changing that, with Walkabout (must have tried like 3 or 4 times before finally seeing it in its entirety) and Bad Timing, both of which I ended up greatly liking. So maybe I'll get to this one too.

Wild at Heart: First time I tried watching this, the Nic Cage scene on the staircase turned me right off. That was a few years ago, and I tried again just recently. Got about an hour into it before I realized that this was one case (most likely the only) where Lynch's eccentricities (and Cage's) just were not working for me.

[ccb]

Firebirds Was it due to N Cage's performance? Was it a clichéd service film? Was it both? Never finished it.

[Steve T Power]

There aren't too many.

The big one, Bergman's The Seventh Seal - What others consider an important film, I found to be a pretentious, meandering bore. I`ve tried three times, I`m done now.

The Holy Mountain - After digging El Topo I thought i'd give Jodorowsky's "great work" a try. No, just no.

[Gabriel Girard]

The Holy Mountain - After digging El Topo I thought i'd give Jodorowsky's "great work" a try. No, just no.

Yeah same here. I endured it for a while but couldn't make it past the alchemist trying to turn his turd into gold. I LOVE El Topo and Santa Sangre though.

[Mach6]

Transformers 2 Revenge of the Fallen: I decided to end my boycott & try to watch the whole thing on the premium channels about a month ago. I tried, I really, really tried but I gave up after Skyfire/JetFire or whatever the hell his name was farted out the parachute. The mother/pot-brownie scene, John Turturro’s junk, The Twins, Sam’s obnoxious comedy relief roommate, & every other attempt at “humor” were worse than I feared. I have low standards but even I could only take so much lowest common denominator garbage being thrown at me. I couldn’t care less what happens in the last hour.

Get Carter (2000): This also was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry.

Robocop 3: The PG-13, kid friendly Robocop was bad enough but the final straw is when they killed off Officer Lewis in the 1st hour in the dumbest way possible (a veteran cop not wearing a bulletproof vest?). Everytime this is on TV, I have an instant reflex to change the channel.

[cdouglas]

Hmmm. I walked out on Timeline about halfway through when I went to see it at the theatre. Not the worst film I've ever seen by any stretch of the imagination, but I enjoyed the book and found the film to be so dramatically inferior that I just couldn't stand the thought of sitting through any more. More of a mood thing than anything else, I guess.

I also started watching Jaws 2 on television not too long ago and never got around to finishing it. Just general boredom in that instance. That one seems especially odd given that I've seen the other sequels in their entirety.

[Bryan Byun]

The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus: After Woody Allen, Terry Gilliam is the director I most adore whose movies I'm most likely to skip. His films are very hit-and-miss for me. I love his visual style and the off-kilter weirdness of his storytelling style, but he also has a tendency to overstuff each frame with what I can only describe as "Gilliam." Parnassus was like that for me -- I loved the acting and the story seemed intriguing, but it was just way too busy and loopy for my taste. Also, the obvious autobiographical element -- Parnassus is obviously a stand-in for Gilliam -- got on my nerves. Gilliam obviously sees himself as our generation's Orson Welles -- the aging, mad raconteur dreamer unappreciated by the modern world and treated like crap by Hollywood -- and I tend to agree, but Terry? On your worst day, you have it better than 99.9999999999999% of the world, so ease up on the self-pity.

Burn After Reading: I'll probably come back to this one eventually. I've never disliked a Coen Brothers movie -- even The Ladykillers. I think I've just been seeing a lot of a certain type of spy/government agent/military comedy lately (The Informant!, The Men Who Stare At Goats, etc.), and Burn After Reading came along at the wrong time.

Fast & Furious: I actually watched all the way up to the last 20 minutes of this movie. Then I got a phone call, and forgot to finish it. If I'm ever called upon to review this movie, this will be the full text of my review.

Three Colors: Blue: Here's one I really thought I would love, but it bored me to drowsiness. I would have sat through it at the theater, but at home, with that tantalizing STOP button so near and so accessible...sorry Kieslowski, I just couldn't do it.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: Most of the time, once I start watching a movie, it takes a lot to get me to actively stop watching it. But if I'm interrupted for any reason, it also takes a lot to get me to go back to watching it. Some movies, like this one, fall by the wayside as a result. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang is probably a pretty good movie, but it just didn't hook me enough in its first 15 minutes to get me to come back.

[Steve T Power]

Hey Bryan,

I loved Parnassus myself, but it wasn't just you with Burn After Reading. I managed to finish it, but only just. I'd place it squarely at the bottom of the Coen list, and i'd put A Serious Man right next to it (though i know people like that one).

[molly1216]

Hey Bryan,

I loved Parnassus myself, but it wasn't just you with Burn After Reading. I managed to finish it, but only just. I'd place it squarely at the bottom of the Coen list, and i'd put A Serious Man right next to it (though i know people like that one).

Ditto.
I didn't finish Burn After Reading, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and lastly...Men Who Stare At Goats...does that make me a bad person? or just a lazy one?

[Steve T Power]

Hey Bryan,

I loved Parnassus myself, but it wasn't just you with Burn After Reading. I managed to finish it, but only just. I'd place it squarely at the bottom of the Coen list, and i'd put A Serious Man right next to it (though i know people like that one).

Ditto.
I didn't finish Burn After Reading, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind and lastly...Men Who Stare At Goats...does that make me a bad person? or just a lazy one?

Maybe Confessions of a Dangerous mind does... but i loved that one.

The others, hey, i wouldn't have finished Men Who Stare at Goats if I weren't watching it with a group of people.

[Bryan Byun]

I'm glad I'm not alone on Burn After Reading. I made it through A Serious Man, but I found it too mean-spirited and dreary to be especially meaningful. I guess that's my problem with the Coens -- they've got such a strong misanthropic, cynical streak, and as much as I love their films as a whole (Raising Arizona's one of my all-time faves), sometimes their apparent contempt for their characters is overbearing and no fun.

[Steve T Power]

I'm glad I'm not alone on Burn After Reading. I made it through A Serious Man, but I found it too mean-spirited and dreary to be especially meaningful. I guess that's my problem with the Coens -- they've got such a strong misanthropic, cynical streak, and as much as I love their films as a whole (Raising Arizona's one of my all-time faves), sometimes their apparent contempt for their characters is overbearing and no fun.

I can second that. I also found they've gotten a little less jovial since No Country for Old Men (which I did enjoy), bitingly cynical, but less fun. I'd heard they lost their father or something, and that was affecting the mood of their work, *shrug*. I know one thing, the film that was advertised in the trailers for Burn After Reading was NOT the film I watched.

Still, they'll always have Miller's Crossing and O Brother, Where Art Thou?.

[Bryan Byun]

I can second that. I also found they've gotten a little less jovial since No Country for Old Men (which I did enjoy), bitingly cynical, but less fun. I'd heard they lost their father or something, and that was affecting the mood of their work, *shrug*. I know one thing, the film that was advertised in the trailers for Burn After Reading was NOT the film I watched.

Still, they'll always have Miller's Crossing and O Brother, Where Art Thou?.

Boy, has there been a really good Coen Bros. comedy since O Brother, ten years ago? Intolerable Cruelty, The Ladykillers...hmmm. Maybe it was the Bush presidency that killed their sense of joy.

Well, I've got high hopes for True Grit. Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Barry Pepper...

[Steve T Power]

I can second that. I also found they've gotten a little less jovial since No Country for Old Men (which I did enjoy), bitingly cynical, but less fun. I'd heard they lost their father or something, and that was affecting the mood of their work, *shrug*. I know one thing, the film that was advertised in the trailers for Burn After Reading was NOT the film I watched.

Still, they'll always have Miller's Crossing and O Brother, Where Art Thou?.

Boy, has there been a really good Coen Bros. comedy since O Brother, ten years ago? Intolerable Cruelty, The Ladykillers...hmmm. Maybe it was the Bush presidency that killed their sense of joy.

Well, I've got high hopes for True Grit. Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Barry Pepper...

I did have a great time with Intolerable Cruelty, i must admit. It was probably the last Coen outing I was completely satisfied with.

[cdouglas]

I feel kind of obliged to quietly note that I thought Burn After Reading and A Serious Man were both excellent films (particularly the latter, which was my favorite film of 2009). There's certainly validity to the argument that they're less jovial and "fun" there days, but they're in peak form as filmmakers and there's a depth of feeling turning up in their work that hadn't really been there very often before. No, Joel and Ethan aren't the same filmmakers they used to be, but I feel they're as compelling now as they've ever been.

[tucco]

* Blasphemy Alert *

I never finished Yojimbo..While I love Kurosawa as much as the next person (roughly of course), I just didn't like this one...it just didn't grab me.....I like films of his from this general era but not this one.

Mavrach, I too, didn't like Kagemusha much...I did finish it however (I payed too much for it so I figured I'd at least get through it once).

[Andrew Forbes]

* Blasphemy Alert *

I never finished Yojimbo..While I love Kurosawa as much as the next person (roughly of course), I just didn't like this one...it just didn't grab me.....I like films of his from this general era but not this one.

That surprises me. I've always thought of Yojimbo as the most outright entertaining and accessible of Kurosawa's movies. Not to say you will change your mind, but I'd recommend giving it another shot.

Having said that, I'm the guy who thinks Seven Samurai could stand to lose 40 minutes, so I'm at least as blasphemous..

[Gabriel Girard]

Die Blechtrommel (The Tin Drum) - I tried watching this twice and could never make it through - it just couldn't keep my interest. I'll try reading the novel instead

[Steve T Power]

* Blasphemy Alert *

I never finished Yojimbo..While I love Kurosawa as much as the next person (roughly of course), I just didn't like this one...it just didn't grab me.....I like films of his from this general era but not this one.

That surprises me. I've always thought of Yojimbo as the most outright entertaining and accessible of Kurosawa's movies. Not to say you will change your mind, but I'd recommend giving it another shot.

I'd probably say that Sanjuro is slightly more breezy and action packed, and you don't really NEED to have seen Yojimbo first, though it is definitely the better film.

Having said that, I'm the guy who thinks Seven Samurai could stand to lose 40 minutes, so I'm at least as blasphemous..

Yeah, I got nothing for that statement. Seven Samurai is one of my all time faves. I just can't see where the minutes could be cut from. Maybe if you trimmed 5 here or 5 there, but outside the overall length making it unsuitable for daily, "I've got an hour or two to burn" viewing, i just can't think of anything that would help the movie by being cut.

[Andrew Forbes]

Having said that, I'm the guy who thinks Seven Samurai could stand to lose 40 minutes, so I'm at least as blasphemous.

Yeah, I got nothing for that statement. Seven Samurai is one of my all time faves. I just can't see where the minutes could be cut from. Maybe if you trimmed 5 here or 5 there, but outside the overall length making it unsuitable for daily, "I've got an hour or two to burn" viewing, i just can't think of anything that would help the movie by being cut.

I admire the craft. I recognize the compelling nature of the premise. I enjoy the wit and humor. I dig the camaraderie. I just find the thing nearly interminable and the villagers grating. To me it feels like an experiment in diverting and delaying promised action. And I don't mean action sequences, I mean any incident other than people complaining about rice. I'll take Yojimbo, Ran or Throne of Blood any day of the week, but I've got to be in a very particular mood to sit through Seven Samurai.

[Bryan Byun]

By my lights, Seven Samurai could be about five days longer and I'd be thrilled! As for Sanjuro and Yojimbo, I had an odd experience with these films, in that, the first time I saw them, I enjoyed Sanjuro much more than Yojimbo, but when I re-watched them, I was surprised to find that Yojimbo actually improved on second viewing, while Sanjuro for some reason didn't hold up as well. Ah well -- they're both awesome!

As long as we're making shameful Kurosawa confessions, I'll also confess that I fell asleep watching Red Beard (hey, it was 2 a.m.), and never finished it.

[Future Man]

The original Solaris comes to mind. I keep meaning to get back to it. I don't mind slow movies per se.

[Gabriel Girard]

I now add Jess Franco's Venus In Furs to my list. I picked it up to check the guy's work and it dissuated me from trying to atch some of his other films. I couldn't make it through Radley Metzger's Lickerish Quartet either. I guess that 60's and 70's ''arty erotica'' isn't my thing. I'll stick with Russ Meyer thank you.

[SmokestackJones]

I've never been in this situation, but there have been those rare films that I've fallen asleep watching (and I don't mean ones that I've seen already that I fell asleep - that happens way too often sitting at home watching).

I remember during my college days going with a buddy to see a double feature of Antonioni's The Passenger (we were big Nicholson fans) and Ken Russel's Women in Love. I recall a few scenes in each, but that's it. Can't remember when, but I got a good snooze out of 'em.

-SJ

[Dan Mancini]

I've never been able to finish Peter Jackson's Dead Alive. I've tried a few times, but just find it so not funny that it's revelatory in a "Wow, this is how much Evil Dead II would suck if Bruce Campbell wasn't in it" sort of way.

[azul017]

The big one, Bergman's The Seventh Seal - What others consider an important film, I found to be a pretentious, meandering bore. I`ve tried three times, I`m done now.

Thank goodness. Glad I'm not the only one.

[Andrew Forbes]

The big one, Bergman's The Seventh Seal - What others consider an important film, I found to be a pretentious, meandering bore. I`ve tried three times, I`m done now.

Thank goodness. Glad I'm not the only one.

To each his own, but even if you consider the movie ponderous, boring, shallow, etc, etc, calling Bergman pretentious seems pretty whack. Unless "pretentious" is newspeak for "interested in serious themes." I don't think dude gives a crap about projecting an aura of importance or sophistication. He just makes movies about what he is interested in and genuinely tries to express ideas seriously. Woody Allen in Bergman mode, on the other hand...

[Steve T Power]

The big one, Bergman's The Seventh Seal - What others consider an important film, I found to be a pretentious, meandering bore. I`ve tried three times, I`m done now.

Thank goodness. Glad I'm not the only one.

To each his own, but even if you consider the movie ponderous, boring, shallow, etc, etc, calling Bergman pretentious seems pretty whack. Unless "pretentious" is newspeak for "interested in serious themes." I don't think dude gives a crap about projecting an aura of importance or sophistication. He just makes movies about what he is interested in and genuinely tries to express ideas seriously. Woody Allen in Bergman mode, on the other hand...

True enough. More accurately, people who gush and preen about the importance or sophistication of The Seventh Seal and how much everyone who "loves cinema" should see it are the pretentious ones... the movie is just a preachy meandering bore...

[Andrew Forbes]

True enough. More accurately, people who gush and preen about the importance or sophistication of The Seventh Seal and how much everyone who "loves cinema" should see it are the pretentious ones... the movie is just a preachy meandering bore...

Spoken like a true plebeian. *puffs ironically over-sized pipe, sips Maison Brillet '59*

[OperaGal]

Oh wow, here's some memorable titles where some uncontrollable force made me retreat...

The Terror of Tiny Town - Think I may have attempted it a couple times, but bolted after a few minutes in order to save my sanity.

Subway - Ugh, found it rather boring and much too slow. I had wondered how long the movie was after I figured that a couple hours had gone by,
...so I checked the VCR clock and it had only been 20 minutes into it. Not even Lambert's good looks could keep me watching.

Psycho Cop - Not quite what I was expecting. I recall pressing 'stop' midway, rewinding the VHS, and putting it back in it's case.

The Blue Iguana - Um, er...same as above.

Edge of Sanity - Rented this years ago being such an Anthony Perkins fan, not one of his better performances.

Heartbreak Hotel - ('89?) - Not sure what possessed me to see this at the show, but walked out about half an hour into it.

Ha, I know there's quite a few others - but these are just off the top of head for now...

[Dunnyman]

I've found that 20 tablets of Dalmane don't work nearly as effectively as 2001 for putting me into a coma-like stupor. There's no possible way my attention can be held for long enough to finish it. On my last attempt I set my timer to find out exactly when I bailed and while it was only 33 minutes, it seemed like 33 hours. Andy Warhol's Sleep was more interesting. You may now throw farm fresh produce, garbage, and kitchen sinks at me.

[Gabriel Girard]

Two cult movies that were too bad for me to watch in their entirety : Hell Comes To Frogtown and The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension.

[HGervais]

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension.

I just swallowed my gum in shock.

[Gabriel Girard]

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension.

I just swallowed my gum in shock.

Believe it or not, I couldn't swallow more than 30 mins of that ''cult classic'', it made zero sense and it was just plain bad IMHO. At least the proposed sequel gave us the real classic that is Big Trouble In Little China.

[Dan Mancini]

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension.

I just swallowed my gum in shock.

Believe it or not, I couldn't swallow more than 30 mins of that ''cult classic'', it made zero sense and it was just plain bad IMHO. At least the proposed sequel gave us the real classic that is Big Trouble In Little China.

So, let me get this straight. You didn't even admire the subtle and nuanced performance by John Lithgow?

[Bryan Pope]

I've found that 20 tablets of Dalmane don't work nearly as effectively as 2001 for putting me into a coma-like stupor. There's no possible way my attention can be held for long enough to finish it. On my last attempt I set my timer to find out exactly when I bailed and while it was only 33 minutes, it seemed like 33 hours. Andy Warhol's Sleep was more interesting. You may now throw farm fresh produce, garbage, and kitchen sinks at me.

I've fallen asleep several times while watching it, and it leads to some severely messed-up dreams. I once woke up to HAL droning "Dave...Dave...What are you doing, Dave? Dave?"

My name isn't Dave, but I was still kinda freaked out.

[tucco]

Raising Cain .......just didn't dig it....really can't think of any others that I haven't finished on purpose.

[Gabriel Girard]

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension.

I just swallowed my gum in shock.

Believe it or not, I couldn't swallow more than 30 mins of that ''cult classic'', it made zero sense and it was just plain bad IMHO. At least the proposed sequel gave us the real classic that is Big Trouble In Little China.

So, let me get this straight. You didn't even admire the subtle and nuanced performance by John Lithgow?

Lithgow doesn't even know the meaning of those words.

[Andrew Forbes]

Raising Cain .......just didn't dig it....really can't think of any others that I haven't finished on purpose.

So, let me get this straight. You didn't even admire the subtle and nuanced performance by John Lithgow?

[Dave Ryan]

The original Solaris comes to mind. I keep meaning to get back to it. I don't mind slow movies per se.

I made it through that -- in a theater! -- but I can't say with 100% certainty that I didn't briefly fall asleep at some point during it. (I was working on about 4 hours of sleep and was seeing a 10:00pm show having gotten up at about 5:30 am that day...)

[Gabriel Girard]

Southland Tales - Talk about making zero sense. It's as if Richard Kelly took 5 or more scripts, cut them up and put the pieces together at random.

[Gabriel Girard]

My most recent entry : R.W. Fassbinder's Gods Of The Plague.Fassbinder tries to recapture the existential ennui of his first feature but the movie only ends up being boring. Watched half of it.

[Attrage]

Moulin Rouge. That film for me was and is the cinematic equivalent of a migraine headache.

[Ptolemy]

Moulin Rouge. That film for me was and is the cinematic equivalent of a migraine headache.

Sorry you didn't like it - I had a hard time at the beginning the first time I watched it. It was disjointed and jumpy and hard to follow- but then Nicole Kidman showed up and the movie, as well as Ewan MacGregor got their focus.

[ccb]

The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The 8th Dimension.

I just swallowed my gum in shock.

Believe it or not, I couldn't swallow more than 30 mins of that ''cult classic'', it made zero sense and it was just plain bad IMHO. At least the proposed sequel gave us the real classic that is Big Trouble In Little China.

So, let me get this straight. You didn't even admire the subtle and nuanced performance by John Lithgow?

Lithgow doesn't even know the meaning of those words.

Yeah, Buckaroo Banzai went to the nearly new DVD store along with The Aviator, Moulin Rouge, and not all that many more. The smarm of "Let's make a cult classic." was enough for me.

[tucco]

Okay I tried to remember one and all I could come up with was GREASE 2.
An ex loved it, we rented it....and I fell asleep....I guess that counts even if I didn't stop watching on purpose?

[Boba Fett]

The Specialist: A movie that made me so mad for wasting an hour of my time, I threw the case across the room, before boxing it up and returning it to Blockbuster. The only time I ever took advantage of theie 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed promo.

Twin Dragons: Walked out of the movie with around 25 mins to go. Dull as dirt.

Cop Out: I've tried to watch it at least twice. First time bailed 20 mins in; second time I made it 50 mins in and hated myself.

Hopscotch: Last night to be exact; watched around 40 mins and absolutely nothing of meaning happens. Even classic Matthau eccentricities aren't enough to keep it going