I put this on my facebook page and doubt any of my friend's will read it, it's long and well, I don't know..
Any hoo, I'm in a weird, wired mood tonight, no drugs are involved, so I thought i'd share it with you guys, if you have the patience to read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts, it's poorly written and not grammar or spell corrected but it may help you with your future purchase into this product...
MAGIC JACK AND THE SEVEN DOORS OF HELL
Back in January, after I moved out here I bought the magic jack. For those of you who may not know what it is, if you've ever seen those annoying commercials that advertise telephone service for as little as $1.78 a month, that's what it is. It's a little gizmo you plug into your USB on your computer and you use like a land line.
It does the job to an extend... It's quite a moody piece of techy equipment. On occassion during a phone call it does this weird studdering thing, like your have a discussion with a robot thats on the fritz from a bad 70's movie and every now and again a telephone call will just completely drop. Now for 20 bucks a year, what the hell right do I have to complete? It is what it is and I have been using it quite frequently since I'm on such a fixed income.
Lately, those issues have rarely been happening and I have been enjoying making random phone calls to strangers, I just do that cause' I'm bored and have no friends out here.. seriously, NOBODY.
I get back to my apartment today around 5 and I lay my fat ass down on my bed next to my computer, I prop my laptop next to me and start checking e-mails and things of that nature.. I decide to get up from my bed and get a delciious and refereshing beverage when suddenly I move in the wrong direction and semi-crush my magic jack.
For like a minute the thing actually continued to work but eventually it decided that it was tme for it to end it's life because of the horrible trauma it had suffered from my fat ass.
Now when I signed up for it, I thought I was getting a really good deal. I think for two years it cost me something like 20 or 40 bucks, now that's an entire two years, no monthly charges at all, my phone bill is paid for 2 years at that price. I think to myself "OMG! John, you are just super awesom and a wizard of savings!"
While I'm going through all the special "offers" I stumble across this "insurance", basically, if you break your magic jack, they replace it, now it doesn't specify any additional charges at all, you just pay something like a dollar and your covered.
While I'm kind of pissed at myself for assistang my magic jack in suicide, I have a sense of pride that I spent the extra dollars for the "insurance" and think "well, I'll just have to contact customer service and get my replacemnt because I am a super cool wizard of savings and got the insurance"
Little did I know...
Magic Jack is a very sneaky company, first, getting in touch with their customer service is like finding the infamous ring from "Lord of the Rings", it's a journey beyond belief. When you finally reach the screen to get to the customer service people you feel this bizarre sense of accomplishment, like you just graduated college or something.
So I click on the customer service tab which is always the same hot looking chick whose supposed to be my customer service agent. Seriously, you see the same picture of the same chick on every website that has customer online support. She really gets around, she's like the "lady of the night" for customer service...
I wait for a little while and up pops Kenny, my customer support dude, I guess the totally hot chick in the picture I mentioned early is in the process of a sex change operation, good for him! Hopefully he has been in touch with Chaz Bono.
So Kenny and I talk.. I explain to him that I have the insruance and if he could please replace my magic crap, I mean jack.
He proceeds to tell there is a $20.00 replacement fee.
I tell him I have the insurance.
He explains to me this bizarre, half assed confusing reason as to why the fee is charged, I than explain to Kenny that nowhere did it state when I signed up for the "insurance" I would be charged a replacement fee. I even goes as to far as saying "look, I was a manager in customer service for years, I know this isn't your fault, but this is fraudlent.."
There is a brief pause and Kenny "sort of" agrees with me. He says he "understands".
He now puts me in touch with one of the top "10% Customer Service Agents as rated by customers", as a side note, I've contacted magic crap before and I have been in quite a few of this 10%, I assume they are just a bunch of people that sit behind Kenny and pretend they are important or something.
I speak to Roxy, who the hell name's their kid Roxy?
She offers me a deal for 9.95 plus an additional 1.00 FFC fee, I go through what I tell Kenny and she also says that she "understands". Out of frusteration I agree to pay the stupid fee, so now we go through the process of payment..
This goes on for a long time (if you have been kind enough to read this far, feel free to get up and walk around aimlessly for like 10 minutes, this would help you relive my exprience waiting for Roxy to get back to me while processing my super important payment information) until Roxy returns.
She proceeds to tell me there is some kind of issue with processing and can I please return to chat in an hour.. I tell her "okay" and I go do my things.
I contact magic poop 2 hours later, Roxy is with another customer, I go through the whole thing again (thank God Roxy took notes) I get on with another "top 10% agent" whose name I can neither spell or pronounce, he or she tells me they have to "process the order again".. I tell them I just got back from looking at my debit card statement and boy are my arms tired (no I didn't say that but it was kind of funny, you know cause' it came out of nowhere). anyway, I tell the dude or chick that there is a pending charge of 10.43 on my account, we go through a good hour of me trying to explain this to him or her, I cut and paste the actual charge from my debit card and show it to him, there is another pause, he insits the charge went did not go through, I want another 10 years, it is finally processed, he takes my new address down, he says it will be on RUSH delievery, I say "great", we end our conversation and tell him or her that I love him and I can't wait to get all sexy with them again and it's all over.
When I finally check my e-mail...
I get a message from magic ass confirming my charge and than I look at my address...
THEY GOT MY ADDRESS WRONG!
Need I have to continue?
The movie is now over you may now make your way to the parking lot.
THANKS ACTUALLY FOR READING THIS STUFF!