After Hours Cinema // 2008 // 240 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Appellate Judge Daryl Loomis (Retired) // June 13th, 2008
Your chance to see bouncing beauties committing unspeakable acts!
It's been a long time now since red light districts dotted our nation's cities with sleazy theaters and adult bookstores. With advances in the home video market and the Internet, their services are simply no longer necessary. Many still lament the death of these institutions. They long for the days when pulling your raincoat tight around your body and praying you didn't see your boss shopping at the same store was a night of excitement. The knowing nod from the clerk when you ask for the new "good stuff," the anticipation while rushing home to unwrap your new treasures from their plain white packages was electrifying. Setting up your home 8mm projector, pulling down your, um, screen, and sitting down to watch the magic unfold, this is the stuff of legend. This was a perverted paradise, but a paradise long since dead.
In these dark times, there is only one man with enough guts and enough desire to cash in to bring salvation to the anonymous, sweaty-palmed masses yearning for action from yesteryear. This man, known as 42nd Street Pete, has pulled aside his mattress to uncover his considerable personal stash of 8mm reels for this series of stag films from After Hours Cinema. Busty Stars of the Stags is the seventh volume in the 8mm Madness collection, but it was not what I was expecting. Those searching for nudie cuties, jiggling volleyball stars, and cheesecake queens need look elsewhere. This collection is hardcore heaven in all its glory, with nothing left to the imagination. 42nd Street Pete could have rested on his laurels, satisfying himself with nameless busty beauties in hardcore action, but he has way too much integrity for that. Our host has dug deep in the archives to find some of the biggest names in the annals of adult entertainment, bringing to the projector early work from people like Annie Sprinkle, Vanessa del Rio, and Seka.
I suppose I was naïve, but I really hadn't expected a 2-disc set of hardcore loops. It's not like I was unaware that this material existed, but everything I'd seen in collections like these (from mainstream distributors, at least) was the volleyball game, cheesecake-style stuff. I quickly realized, when the performers got real close real fast, that my assumptions had been shattered. Pete gives a brief bit of background before each loop begins, which mostly consists of the star's name, if he knows it, some content information, and some really sleazy jokes. Pete's having fun playing the raunch to the hilt, which is all you can ask, I guess, even though what he says doesn't amount to much.
There really isn't much to be said about the content, and I'm not going to describe the action in the loops themselves. Suffice it to say that there are no holds barred and those searching for the nostalgia of vintage pornography know what they're in store for. The 21 loops spread out over these two discs are presented with only a canned projector sound, no words or music, and look beyond awful. It's not surprising how damaged the prints are, but they are often so dilapidated as to render the performers indistinguishable, which really ruins any erotic value it might have had. If I could give a negative score for the audio, I would. Four hours of what I was watching, combined with the droning of one of the most irritating sounds I can imagine, was a truly maddening experience. You may ask why I didn't put some music on or something. Well, I didn't, that's all I can say. For extras, the collection includes two bonus loops (although one appears on the main feature) and a collection of trailers.
There is historical value in these loops, and I'm glad there have been digital copies made of these films before they completely disintegrate. With or without the historical value, however, this is a nearly unwatchable collection and is as guilty as guilty gets. I need a shower.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: After Hours Cinema
* 1.78:1 Non-Anamorphic
* Dolby Digital 1.0 Mono (English)
Running Time: 240 Minutes
Release Year: 2008
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
* Bonus Loops
* IMDb: 42nd St. Pete