Case Number 24982: Small Claims Court

ADVENTURES OF BAILEY: CHRISTMAS HERO

E1 Entertainment // 2012 // 87 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // December 19th, 2012

The Charge

A heartwarming Christmas adventure for the entire family. Or, possibly, a suitable place to put your glass of eggnog to avoid table stains.

The Case

If it's the Christmas season, you know it's time for cheerful tidings, family warmth, good will towards man, and...most importantly, mediocre family movies about talking dogs. Enter Adventures of Bailey: Christmas Hero, a tale of a talking dog that runs away from home to find the true meaning of Christmas...while ironically making his young boy owner absolutely sick with heartbreak. Ho! Ho! Ho!

Why did Bailey bail? Because he's worried there won't be presents for Christmas and this is not acceptable. He hears some scuttlebutt that somewhere out there is a Native American mystic who holds the key to holiday happiness. So Bailey blows town, accompanied by another canine friend, and the two embark on a cross-country adventure of discovery and fleas.

Spoiler Alert: They find the enigmatic Native American they're searching for and discover he can hear them talk (as apparently all individuals of American Indian descent can). After some sage wisdom is imparted, including a brief treatise on where Jesus Christ fits into the Native American understanding of the holiday season, the dogs return home to their despondent owners.

Not sure how Bailey can be considered "heroic," seeing he left his beloved owner hung out to dry, but whatever. He hopped all around the wilderness and ended up at a campfire with a grizzled old wise man. I suppose that technically qualifies as heroic, though tears of the small boy he left behind may speak otherwise.

Regardless, Adventures of Bailey: Christmas Hero is not a very good movie. Will it suffice as something to park your fruitcake-tripping children in front of for an afternoon? I guess so. There are dogs and they do talk, but the budget wasn't there to animate their mouths so this is straight canine telepathy we're dealing with here.

The whole enterprise is milquetoast and forgettable. Bailey (who showed up in a film before this called Adventures of Bailey: The Lost Puppy) does nothing to makes himself a more lovable or interesting dog than your average Air Bud. The only thing he's got going for him is that he's attractive and can apparently sit on cue for extended periods of time. Maybe that's enough for your brood.

Economy DVD release from Entertainment One: standard def 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen, Dolby 2.0 stereo, English SDH subtitles, and no extras.

The Verdict

If you're desperate for holiday-themed canine misadventures, this might do it. Otherwise, Guilty all the way.

Review content copyright © 2012 David Johnson; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2014 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 65

Perp Profile
Studio: E1 Entertainment
Video Formats:
* 1.78:1 Anamorphic

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)

Subtitles:
* English (SDH)

Running Time: 87 Minutes
Release Year: 2012
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* None

Accomplices
* IMDb
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt2316383/combined