Case Number 19927: Small Claims Court

BRATZ: PAMPERED PETZ

Lionsgate // 2010 // 75 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Paul Pritchard (Retired) // October 17th, 2010

The Charge

A Rescue Adventure Movie!

The Case

According to the spiel on the rear of the DVD case, the Bratz Girlz, "combine brain power with their passion for fashion and music" to achieve their goals; which kind of makes them sound like cool, mini-feminist icons. Huh? And I was under the impression that they were just a bunch of unsightly air-heads, created by an evil toy empire hell-bent on branding impressionable young girls through their brightly colored, inappropriately dressed line of dolls. The strange thing is, the longer Bratz: Pampered Petz dragged on, the more my initial fears seemed to bear out.

The story, or marketing exercise if you prefer, is totally lacking in both imagination and substance. Cloe, Jade, Sasha and Yasmine, a.k.a. the Bratz, come to the aid of Lola, and elderly woman who is facing eviction from her home for harboring too many animals. You see, Lola can't stand to see the poor animals living on the streets -- or even worse -- put to sleep; so, whether they be a cat, dog, frog or cockatoo, Lola will offer them a home. However, this goes against local housing laws, and so while the local police and her conniving landlord scheme to get Lola evicted, the Bratz formulate a plan.

Inspired by the revelation that Lola was once a renowned Latin singer, the girls set about organizing a benefit concert to find new homes for the menagerie of cute critters. Throw in a subplot involving an estranged daughter, and you've pretty much got Pampered Petz in a nutshell.

Now, I'm no stranger to crappy kids entertainment, but something about Pampered Petz really hit a nerve. I mean, did anyone, at anytime, really sit down and try to write an entertaining story for young girls? Or is this simply an extended advert for the new line of Bratz dolls released to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the franchise?

It's all soul-destroying stuff, though I'd wager still entertaining to a lot of young girls; which is sad really, as this does very little to present strong female leads they can aspire to be like. The four Bratz are clearly quite wealthy, most likely thanks to daddy's trust fund, and live unbelievably privileged lives that have seen them lose all grip on reality, which is best observed in a scene where they give the animals a makeover. Cats are spruced up and adorned with bling, while one poor pooch ends up looking like an extra from the Blue Oyster Bar scene in Police Academy.

The disc is presented in a 1.33:1 full screen transfer. The picture quality is fine, but isn't helped by the frankly ugly CGI employed to render the Bratz. Likewise, the 2.0 stereo track is relatively free of flaws. In terms of extras, you get an interactive "Petz Makeover" game and a trailer gallery.

The Verdict

Guilty.

Review content copyright © 2010 Paul Pritchard; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2014 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 40

Perp Profile
Studio: Lionsgate
Video Formats:
* Full Frame

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)

Subtitles:
* None

Running Time: 75 Minutes
Release Year: 2010
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* Interactive Game

Accomplices
* IMDb
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt1719009/combined