Fox // 2009 // 54 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Steve Power // June 12th, 2009
Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy) brings his particular sense of humor to a series of short bits originally shoveled onto YouTube and presented by Burger King. Is it a veritable cavalcade of comedy? Or is it a smorgasbord of crap?
Have you seen Family Guy or American Dad? More importantly, do you enjoy these television shows? If you answered yes to the second question, move along. You may safely venture to your local dealer of all things Blu-ray and snag yourself a copy of what I'm sure you'll consider a real knee-slapper. To everyone else, you know those of you who aren't mouth-breathing simpletons with a penchant for beer bongs and Nickelback. Run. Run in the opposite direction. Run to your chosen chapel, church, cathedral, synagogue, or whatever, and pray. Pray for humanity. This disc is the anti-Christ.
I went into this harmlessly enough. I thought that if Seth's "teevee" programs could elicit the occasional chuckle or guffaw from me, than shorter bits, unhindered by the burden of things like plot or character could actually cash in on Robot Chicken's more clever approach to pop culture irreverence. How wrong I was. Seth basically takes nearly an hour of your life tossing shit at you, both metaphorically AND physically, waiting for something to stick. This humor is little more than frat boy jibber jabber, with the sort of one off disgustingness you'd expect to have heard in Junior High when sitting in the lunch room with the more raunchy students. Sure, once or twice, a bit actually struck me as quite funny, the Dog on the 25'000 Dollar Pyramid for example, was actually rather clever, and had a denouement that had me laughing rather "out-loudedly." The problem resides in the lulls, oh the terrible lulls, which occupy roughly 52 minutes of the total 54 minute runtime. These gags are not gags at all; they are eldritch horrors. Like something issued from the typewriter of H.P. Lovecraft, These short pieces of indescribable misery should bear names like ph'nyarlegotoph or K'thulegyarnep. They bore into your mind, searing intelligence of any kind. Thought is their enemy, stupidity is their weapon. There is no escape. Go my friend, while you can, watch some Futurama or Simpsons reruns or something. Stay very far away from this place, this den of madness, there is no hope for those of us who remain. May we live on in your memory.
Are you still here? Silly fool! You feel you could be strong enough to tackle this horror, and you're still wondering if it's worth a Blu-ray purchase. The answer my friend, is a resounding no. The picture is passable, its full frame presentation looks like cheap animation produced for a low-res internet video hosting website. I highly doubt it could look any better than the standard definition presentation. The DTS-HD Master Audio certainly sounds impressive when you type it..."master audio...," however, the contents of the disc don't benefit at all from the treatment. There are no explosions (well, there are, but they aren't particularly impressive) and no awesome space battles or war scenes to give your cage a good rattling (though Optimus Prime does make an appearance). No, there is naught but dialogue here, and the clearer, less distorted treatment of MASTER AUDIO simply makes said dialogue that much more discernable, that much more capable of destroying your fragile mind. Take that as you will.
You want extras? How about a very brief featurette focusing on the premiere of this Cavalcade, interviewing a bunch of celebrities who are either insane for thinking this stuff is so hilarious, or much better actors than we give most of them credit for. I'll also add, it's the first time I've really seen or heard anything from Seth MacFarlane himself, and he seems like a pretty affable guy, so Seth, I hope you didn't read this review. Sorry.
Mercy! I beg of thee! Take it away! Burn it! Kill it! Render it from this place with fire! It is an abomination! *ahem*...guilty.
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Scales of Justice
* Full Frame
* DTS HD 5.1 Master Audio (English)
* English (SDH)
Running Time: 54 Minutes
Release Year: 2009
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
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