Case Number 23725: Small Claims Court

CREW 2 CREW

Lionsgate // 2012 // 95 Minutes // Rated R
Reviewed by Judge Roy Hrab (Retired) // April 26th, 2012

The Charge

A single moment can change your life forever.

The Case

Aside from the title, how bad is Crew 2 Crew? Well, let me show you what is written on the DVD case:

"Luca Santoro longs for more in his life than what his small town has to offer. After joining a break-dancing troupe and traveling the world, he finds himself torn between his family, his girlfriend, and the life he knows and the chance to do something more. Luca struggles to choose between his love for dancing and the love of his life."

How does that sound to you? Don't worry, you don't have to say anything.

However, let me tell you a couple of things about this description, dear reader. Mainly, it is wrong. Luca does not travel the world in this film. Indeed, he never leaves Italy (which is where all the action takes place). Second, his "break-dancing troupe" never performs in front of an audience during the film. They just rehearse endlessly. Third, Luca ends up not having to make a choice "between his love for dancing and the love of his life" because he gets thrown out of the troupe for reasons unrelated to either.

But wait, there's more: The film says it is "Inspired by True Events." Yikes. Wait, there's still more: The film is also known as Five Hours South. What does that mean? I think it's the location of Luca's hometown in relation to Rome, where the rehearsals take place.

Wait, I'm not finished yet. In another wrinkle, one of the stars of the film is Jordan Bridges (Rizzoli and Isles), son of Beau Bridges. Does it make the film any more enjoyable? Not a chance.

At the end of the day, this is a bad film. The script is poor and doesn't hang together at all. Everything is either contrived, or close to nonsensical. We have a traumatic event from the past. There's a macho rivalry in the troupe. There's a big city seductress that tries to get Luca to stray. And there's an old friend that's gone over to a life of crime, creating repercussions in the present. Yup, that about sums it up.

Additionally, the dialogue is lousy. The actors are unremarkable, but, of course, they've got pretty much nothing to work with.

The production values are pedestrian. The video is on the weak side with soft colors and a lack of detail. The audio is better, but so what?

The extras include some deleted scenes and a trailer. They are irrelevant.

Don't waste your time or money. Crew 2 Crew is just another unnecessary straight to DVD release from Lionsgate.

The Verdict

Guilty.

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Scales of Justice
Judgment: 30

Perp Profile
Studio: Lionsgate
Video Formats:
* 1.85:1 Anamorphic

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)

Subtitles:
* English (SDH)
* Spanish

Running Time: 95 Minutes
Release Year: 2012
MPAA Rating: Rated R

Distinguishing Marks
* Deleted Scenes
* Trailer

Accomplices
* IMDb
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt1529635/combined

* Official Site
http://www.fivehourssouth.com/