Case Number 24259

CRIME DOES NOT PAY: THE COMPLETE SHORTS COLLECTION (1935-1947)

Warner Bros. // 1935 // 1000 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Appellate Judge Daryl Loomis // August 4th, 2012

The Charge

Mr. Swain has promised me an incident that will poignantly illustrate that sometime, somewhere, the criminal always pays.

Opening Statement

Once upon a time, going to a movie didn't just involve a ton of Coke ads, the feature, and a drive home wondering why you just spent a quarter of your mortgage on taking your family to some piece of Adam Sandler garbage. There were cartoons, serials, and short films before the feature started, arguably giving a fuller experience than what we have today. Just like with the features, their quality was most definitely mixed, but there's no question that it added value to the movie-going experience that we do not enjoy today. Some of these pieces were stand-alone, but there were plenty of continued series out there. Between 1935 and 1947, speaking of mixed quality, MGM produced fifty of these shorts under the banner "Crime Does Not Pay." These films may be ham-fisted, silly attempts to enlighten audiences about crime, but for fans of early filmmaking, Crime Does Not Pay: The Complete Shorts Collection is an absolute treasure chest and is now available for the first time on six discs from Warner Archive.

Facts of the Case

For brevity's sake and the extreme repetition of subject matter, I'll just list out the titles, presented over six discs...just know that the plot of each one is that, no matter the crime, IT DOES NOT PAY!

The Buried Loot
Alibi Racket
Desert Death
A Thrill for Thelma
Hit and Run Driver
The Perfect Setup
Foolproof
The Public Pays
Torture Money
It May Happen to You
Soak the Poor
Give Till It Hurts
Behind the Criminal
What Price Safety
Miracle Money
Come Across
A Criminal Is Born
They're Always Caught
Think It Over
The Wrong Way Out
Money to Loan
While America Sleeps
Help Wanted
Think First
Drunk Driving
Pound Foolish
Know Your Money
Jackpot
Women in Hiding
Buyer Beware
Soak the Old
You, the People
Respect the Law
Forbidden Passage
Coffins on Wheels
Sucker List
Don't Talk
For the Common Defense
Keep 'em Sailing
Plan for Destruction
Patrolling the Ether
Easy Life
Dark Shadows
The Fall Guy
The Last Installment
Phantoms, Inc.
A Gun in His Hand
Purity Squad
The Luckiest Guy in the World

The Evidence

Were one to actually listen to the "lead MGM crime reporter" who bookends each short in the collection, one would firmly believe that every industry on earth, no matter how normal it might seem, is riddled with corruption and led by villainous rackets of confidence men. The series really takes you through the paces, with election fraud, dairy rackets, corrupt car dealers, and charity thieves all getting their twenty minutes in the sun.

It's sort of amazing that the producers were able to keep coming up with crimes that do not pay, and they didn't even need to work with everyday stuff like basic murder, robbery, or thuggery. The closest that it comes is a piece on drunk driving, which is a pretty weird inclusion given the big time nature of most of the crimes presented, but I think they were starting to see it as a big problem, so it got put in.

Mostly, it appears that they wanted to provide some awareness to less-than-savvy moviegoers who, I'm sure they supposed, might fall for shoplifting schemes or immigration rackets or some other seemingly random conspiracy that viewers would almost assuredly never experience. This awareness, clearly, would make them afraid of phantoms and believe that strangers were out to get their hard-earned money. As the war years come on, the subject matter verges more toward spies and domestic terrorism that conspiracies, which makes a lot more sense, but these entries are seriously poorly done propaganda, first focusing on the Nazis and later the dirty Soviets.

The real value in Crime Does Not Pay: The Complete Shorts Collection is historical. The series was a repository for up-and-coming filmmakers like Fred Zinnemann (From Here to Eternity) and Jacques Tourneur (I Walked with a Zombie) and older directors on the backsides of their careers. There aren't a lot of appearances from young, soon to be famous actors, but Robert Taylor (Quo Vadis) appears in the debut short and a few other recognizable faces appear here and there. I don't know how often I'll go back to this series of shorts, but I'm glad I've seen them. It taught me many valuable lessons that I'll never forget about watching out for toughs and confidence men and not falling for their clever, ill-thought tricks. Plus, my brother will get a huge kick out of them, so the collection is worth it just for that.

As it usually is from Warner Archive, Crime Does Not Pay: The Complete Shorts Collection is presented unadorned and bare bones, but the fact that they are out in one set makes it worth picking up on its own. The image transfers are mostly solid, surprisingly so, with clean prints and mostly strong contrast. It isn't perfect; there's certainly age damage in every film, but it's better than I expected them to look across the board. The sound is your average mono mix, though the general lack of background noise is nice to hear. It isn't perfect, but it's pretty good. The only extra is a bonus short, not part of the series, called Eyes of the Navy, which is pure propaganda for how rad the navy is to join.

Closing Statement

None of the shorts in this collection could be mistaken in any way for art or for quality or for any adjective that might imply that they are anything but exploitative pieces of propaganda. For that very reason, though, there is immense value here for historians and fans of classic films. Plus, while I always thought that, done right, crime might just pay, now I know otherwise and I have Crime Does Not Pay: The Complete Shorts Collection to thank.

The Verdict

Case dismissed.

Review content copyright © 2012 Daryl Loomis; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2014 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Video: 83
Audio: 78
Extras: 5
Acting: 74
Story: 76
Judgment: 85

Perp Profile
Studio: Warner Bros.
Video Formats:
* Full Frame

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 1.0 Mono (English)

Subtitles:
* None

Running Time: 1000 Minutes
Release Year: 1935
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* Bonus Short

Accomplices
* IMDb: The Buried Loot
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0023857/combined

* IMDb: Alibi Racket
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0133355/combined

* IMDb: Desert Death
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0026271/combined

* IMDb: A Thrill for Thelma
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0027102/combined

* IMDb: Hit and Run Driver
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0026478/combined

* IMDb: The Perfect Setup
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0215051/combined

* IMDb: Foolproof
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0027631/combined

* IMDb: The Public Pays
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0028146/combined

* IMDb: Torture Money
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0029684/combined

* IMDb: It May Happen to You
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0214802/combined

* IMDb: Soak the Poor
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0215197/combined

* IMDb: Give Till It Hurts
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0028935/combined

* IMDb: Behind the Criminal
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0028617/combined

* IMDb: What Price Safety
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0030964/combined

* IMDb: Miracle Money
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0030454/combined

* IMDb: Come Across
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0030004/combined

* IMDb: A Criminal Is Born
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0030029/combined

* IMDb: They're Always Caught
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0030860/combined

* IMDb: Think It Over
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0030861/combined

* IMDb: The Wrong Way Out
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0030987/combined

* IMDb: Money to Loan
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0031665/combined

* IMDb: While America Sleeps
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0032126/combined

* IMDb: Help Wanted
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0031415/combined

* IMDb: Think First
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0032024/combined

* IMDb: Drunk Driving
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0031253/combined

* IMDb: Pound Foolish
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0032936/combined

* IMDb: Know Your Money
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0032675/combined

* IMDb: Jackpot
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0032645/combined

* IMDb: Women in Hiding
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0033273/combined

* IMDb: Buyer Beware
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0032295/combined

* IMDb: Soak the Old
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0033070/combined

* IMDb: You, the People
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0033285/combined

* IMDb: Respect the Law
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0134052/combined

* IMDb: Forbidden Passage
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0033618/combined

* IMDb: Coffins on Wheels
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0033473/combined

* IMDb: Sucker List
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0034239/combined

* IMDb: Don't Talk
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0034666/combined

* IMDb: For the Common Defense
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0034747/combined

* IMDb: Keep 'em Sailing
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0034935/combined

* IMDb: Plan for Destruction
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0036268/combined

* IMDb: Patrolling the Ether
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0165911/combined

* IMDb: Easy Life
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0036785/combined

* IMDb: Dark Shadows
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0036744/combined

* IMDb: The Fall Guy
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0213643/combined

* IMDb: The Last Installment
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0037863/combined

* IMDb: Phantoms, Inc.
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0037987/combined

* IMDb: A Gun in His Hand
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0037758/combined

* IMDb: Purity Squad
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0038005/combined

* IMDb: The Luckiest Guy in the World
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0038708/combined