Case Number 24820: Small Claims Court


Dark Mullet Cinema // 2012 // 71 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // November 16th, 2012

The Charge

When it comes to your town, no one can run, no one can hide.

The Case

Someone is on the loose, killing fools. The victims include a pair of couples, butchered on a camping trip. Their friends are next, a group of twenty-somethings chilling outside their apartment, enjoying some BBQ, blissfully unaware of the violence that approaches. Their world is rocked when some guy named Kyle, disheveled and deranged, comes flying in, warning them there's a killer on the loose!

Then the killer shows up, forcing the party inside the apartment, separating them from their phones. What ensues is some hacking, stabbing, and low-budget bloodshed.

Emphasis on low-budget. My crack internet research revealed Everyone Must Die! sported a budget of a few thousand dollars. So, you should know what you're getting into. This is homegrown, grassroots movie-making.

Employing the steep grading curve I often break out when reviewing these micro-budgeted affairs, Everyone Must Die! is surprising passable. Yes, the quality of the acting ranges from "wooden" to "Hey, is that camera running?!" Yes, the plot makes little sense, even though it's been lifted from every other slasher movie.

But writer/director Steve Rudzinski and his team are so earnest in their attempts, I'll let this sub-mediocre stuff slide. The blood and gore is just as financially challenged, and yet these guys work to blast the limited goop they do have all over the set. I can definitely get behind that.

I won't go as far as to recommend Everyone Must Die! There's nothing new to see and objectively speaking it's not a good movie, but I wasn't insulted by anything thrown on the screen. I appreciate that everyone involved essentially embarked on a labor of love for the genre, and for that I applaud their efforts.

The DVD lands a standard def 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer, Dolby 2.0 Stereo mix, and a selection of modest extras: two commentary tracks with the writer and cast, bloopers, alternate takes, a making-of documentary, and a pair of music videos.

The Verdict

Guilty, yeah, but brownie points for everyone!

Review content copyright © 2012 David Johnson; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2016 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 60

Perp Profile
Studio: Dark Mullet Cinema
Video Formats:
* 1.78:1 Anamorphic

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)

* None

Running Time: 71 Minutes
Release Year: 2012
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* Commentaries
* Alternate Takes
* Featurette
* Bloopers
* Music Videos

* IMDb

* Official Site