Case Number 20221: Small Claims Court

DANCING WITH THE STARS: FAT-BURNING CARDIO DANCE

Lionsgate // 2010 // 60 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // November 30th, 2010

The Charge

Shed pounds and have fun.

The Case

Sounds good to me! I like having fun! And shedding pounds!

Ironically enough, I was just talking about my desire to have fun and shed pounds with some old friends, not that long ago...

A few days ago

ZEPHYR: Is that Dave?

COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: Where?

ZEPHYR: Over there, wearing that hot pink beret, screaming at the park bench.

COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: I think it is...Dave! Dave! Over here!

DAVE: Oh, hey guys! I didn't see you sitting there.

ZEPHYR: What've you been up to? The last time we talked was...in the Biodome, right?

DAVE: Yep, yep. The Biodome. What are you guys doing in the park at this time of night?

COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: I'll give you two guesses.

DAVE: Jarts?

COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: Jarts.

ZEPHYR: I have to say, Dave, you're looking quite fit.

DAVE: I thank you for that kind observation, sir. I am indeed feeling pretty good these days.

COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: You, my friend, are svelte!

ZEPHYR: Yes, svelte. That's an excellent word for your current condition.

DAVE: I wish I could say my remarkable metabolism is responsible for the Adonis you see before you, but this Olympian physique is a result of a lot of hard work.

COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: I'm quickly losing interest in this story.

ZEPHYR: Me too.

DAVE: I owe all of my bodily success to Dancing with the Stars: Fat-Burning Cardio Dance.

COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: Wow...look at the time! Sorry Dave, gotta go. We've got a tandem orthodontist appointment.

DAVE: Hosted by dancers Chelsi, Edyta, and Kym, Cardio Dance focuses on fat-burning routines.

ZEPHYR: Oh man, is that a rhinoceros on the loose?! We better get out of here...

DAVE: There are three workouts, each using a specific dance style: the low-impact Mambo Mix, the accessible Hollywood Jazz, and the high-octane hip-hop flavored Hustle and Pop. Each routine runs 15 minutes, with a cooldown clocking in at five minutes. The disc features a 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer, 2.0 stereo, a custom dance builder, and a music-only option.

COMMANDER KNOCKWURST: Golly, I do believe my appendix has burst. See you around, Dave!

The Verdict

Not Guilty. Hello thong!

Review content copyright © 2010 David Johnson; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2014 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 85

Perp Profile
Studio: Lionsgate
Video Formats:
* 1.78:1 Anamorphic

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)

Subtitles:
* English (CC)

Running Time: 60 Minutes
Release Year: 2010
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* Custom Routines
* Music-Only Option

Accomplices
* IMDb
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0463398/combined