Sleepaway Camp
Anchor Bay // 1983 // 84 Minutes // Rated R
Transylvania 6-5000
Anchor Bay // 1985 // 94 Minutes // Rated PG
Vamp
Anchor Bay // 1986 // 94 Minutes // Rated R
Return To Horror High
Anchor Bay // 1987 // 94 Minutes // Rated R
Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark
Anchor Bay // 1988 // 96 Minutes // Rated PG-13
Return Of The Killer Tomatoes
Anchor Bay // 1988 // 98 Minutes // Rated PG
Reviewed by Appellate Judge Mac McEntire // July 26th, 2005
Premium horror since 1989.
What's a DVD company to do when it has a warehouse full of back catalog titles? Movies that people love, or at least have some nostalgic fondness for, but that aren't exactly hot sellers? Why, package them together in a nifty new "Fright Pack," of course!
We've got six '80s-era horror/comedies to pour through here:
* Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
A somewhat famous horror TV host
suddenly finds herself out of a job. Fortunately, she learns she has an enormous
inheritance to go along with her enormous...well, you know. Now she's living in
small town USA, surrounded by moralistic adults and fun-loving teens. But a
mysterious "cookbook" could spell doom for them all.
* Return to Horror High
A group of filmmakers takes over an
abandoned high school that was once the site of some brutal murders. But as the
crew reenacts the killings before the cameras, someone else is lurking in the
shadows reenacting them for real.
* Return of the Killer Tomatoes
After the title beasties were
driven off in the first film, it's now a different world, as all tomatoes have
been outlawed. But one sinister scientist has a plan to create his own master
race of tomato people. Now the fate of the world is up to two buddies, a sexy
female stranger, and the world's most adorable piece of mutated produce.
* Sleepaway Camp
Everyone's having an ideal summer at Camp
Arawak, with games, swimming, socials, romances, cliques, bullies, and more. Too
bad someone's sneaking around committing murders behind everyone's backs. The
ending must be seen to be believed.
* Transylvania 6-5000
After hearing reports that Frankenstein's
Monster is real, a pair of dim-bulb reporters head off to Transylvania. Their
investigation leads them not just to the monster, but also to vampires,
werewolves, and the world's wackiest butler.
* Vamp
In order to get into a prestigious fraternity, two
buddies must hire a stripper for an upcoming party. Visiting a club in the seedy
part of town, our hapless heroes find more than they bargained for: vicious
gangs, bloodsucking monsters, and a mostly-naked Grace Jones (Conan the
Destroyer), all out to get them.
So Anchor Bay took six dust-gatherers and bundled them together in a nifty case that looks like a six-pack of beer, complete with a little handle on the top. Cute, but one end of the box is left wide open, so when you're carrying it around your living room, all six movies are in danger of sliding out at any time. Also, there's no way of knowing which movie is which without removing all six of them at once. Sure, the box is amusing -- but I'd rather it be both amusing and practical.
Now it's time to take a look at the movies themselves. The question is what order to watch them in? Alphabetical? By year? No, I'll do what most people who buy this set are likely to do, and watch them in a completely arbitrary manner.
6 p.m.
Sleepaway Camp is often considered a genuine
classic among '80s horror, so that's as good place as any to begin. Everyone
talks about the ending, but how's the rest of the movie? The plot just creeps
along, with a lot of high school angst keeping it moving between murders. In a
movie like this the tension should increase after every death scene, but in this
case there's an almost-invisible subplot about the camp's owners keeping them
covered up in order to prevent panic and stay in business. So instead, it's
almost like this is two movies -- a slasher movie mixed with a teen soap
opera.
7:30 p.m.
Ah, here's Sleepaway Camp's famous ending.
It's certainly one of the greatest "Oh, my God!" moments in movie
history. And yet, I find myself wondering what happened next. I kind of want to
see the chaos and madness that followed. On the other hand, leaving that up the
to the audience's imagination is probably a lot scarier than any craziness they
could have filmed.
8:15 p.m.
Now I'm about halfway through Sleepaway Camp's
commentary track. It's a very funny one, with the director and actors making
plenty of jokes and pointing out continuity problems, fake mustaches, et cetera.
They also hint at a possible fourth movie in the series. I say they should go
for it. Freddy and Jason got to duke it out, and Chucky spread his Seed all over
movie screens, so why not breathe some new life into this franchise? I think the
world is ready.
9 p.m.
Two of the movies in this set feature a pre-fame George
Clooney (Ocean's 11), so I'll watch those next. Return to Horror
High barely made a blip on the radar screen when it was released in 1987,
but today it gets a lot of praise for being ahead of its time. Wes Craven's
Scream blew the lid off the horror genre years later by adding a
self-aware tone and pop culture-laced humor to a scary, whodunit plot. But
Horror High can boast that it did this first, and its killer even looks
just like the one in Scream.
10:30 p.m.
Whereas Sleepaway Camp's ending is a real
baseball bat to the face, Horror High piles on the surprise endings, one
after another after another. It gets ludicrous after a while. To say any more
would mean spoiling the film, but know that nit-pickers will get plenty of
mileage trying to figure out the various inconsistencies of the plot. There are
very few extras on this one, but I really like the trailer with the creepy
cheerleader. She could have become a horror icon all by herself.
11 p.m.
Although George Clooney is only in the last movie for a
few scenes, that's not the case in Return of the Killer Tomatoes. Clooney
has a much bigger part this time around, as the hero's horny best friend. As the
title suggests, this one's a flat-out comedy, with no attempts at actual horror,
action, or even story. It's one of those really wacky comedies, the kind where
characters break the fourth wall and complain about having to add product
placement to their scripts. A product of its time, the movie begins with a false
start, as if to trick viewers into thinking they're watching a TV show. This
suggests that the filmmakers knew the movie's future would be home video, not
the theaters.
12:15 a.m.
I can't believe Return of the Killer Tomatoes
hasn't ended yet. This "anything for a laugh" mentality gets to be a
little too much after a while. Take, for example, one of the flick's most
celebrated scenes, in which a serious discussion is interrupted for no reason by
a lengthy fistfight between a group of cowboys and a gang of ninjas. The message
here from the filmmakers is, "Look at how silly we are! Look at how much we
can get away with!" Gore lovers will want to shy away from this one,
because with its PG rating, the filmmakers have made the whole thing somewhat
family friendly, complete with a cute, fuzzy puppet tomato. Fans of juvenile
jokes and cheap gags will be in heaven, though.
12:45 a.m.
I'm about halfway through the set, watching
Transylvania 6-5000. I like the concept -- two dim-witted reporters
tracking down the truth about famous monsters. And I like the cast -- Jeff
Goldblum (Jurassic Park), Ed Begley Jr. (Meet the Applegates),
Geena Davis (The Long Kiss Goodnight), Jeffrey Jones (Ed Wood),
Carol Kane (The Princess Bride), and Michael Richards (Seinfeld),
among others. With all that talent, it's a shame the movie is so bland. There
are a number of exceptionally long takes with the camera capturing two
characters in one shot while they rattle off pages of script at once. It's kind
of like watching Clerks, but without the wonderfully whacked dialogue. So
much of the movie is plot and exposition that the only humor is a few bits of
slapstick here and there. It's just an unfunny comedy. Even its title is a dated
joke. Back in the '80s, most kids had never heard of the song "Pennsylvania
6-5000," so I wonder how many of them know it today. This movie could have
used some of Return of the Killer Tomatoes's madcap sensibilities, while
that one could have used just a little bit more of this one's plot.
2 a.m.
Now I'm going through all the extras on Transylvania
6-5000. The commentary shows just how much of a labor of love the movie was
for everyone involved. There's also a lot of talk about how the movie was made
in an actual castle on location in Yugoslavia. That has me thinking about
another problem I have with the film. There's just no sense of atmosphere.
Here's a movie with vampires, werewolves, and Frankenstein's Monster, and yet
it's all brightly lit and shot like an ordinary sitcom. Even on a low budget
film there are ways to add a little gloom and doom, which would have better
helped the laughs. The trailers make the movie look a lot funnier than it is,
and the cartoon-like storyboards are quite charming.
3:30 a.m.
I don't think I'm going to make it. I just started
watching Vamp. It begins as yet another "horny college buddies out
for a good time" comedy. You know, I went to college for a total of five
years, and I never acted like college guys in movies. I was too busy doing stuff
like studying. Wait, where was I? Oh, yeah, reviewing six movies at once. Like
Return to Like Horror High, Vamp alternates between scares and
laughs, rather than all-out comedy. Grace Jones is just naturally creepy. She's
even creepier when she's naked except for a red fright wig, a chrome wire
bikini, and some sort of tribal body paint. There are some pretty effective gore
effects here, too, and the slapstick humor on this one isn't too painful. On the
minus side, the movie's green and pink lighting scheme starts to sting the eyes
after a while. And for a movie that has all the action taking place in one
night, there are quite a few subplots to keep track of. But despite the
sometimes-meandering script, it's a strange but not terrible vampire
thriller.
5 a.m.
Even though it's the same hour and a half length as the
other films in this set, Vamp feels a lot longer. Every time I think it's
reached the climax, suddenly there's more movie. Also, a subplot featuring Billy
Drago (The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.) as a gang leader is amusing,
but could have been excised easily without losing any of the story.
5:30 a.m.
Now it's time for the extras on Vamp, and
there are quite a few. The outtakes and behind-the-scenes footage are quite
dull, and the short film, "Dracula Bites the Big Apple," is amusing
yet amateurish. The commentary, on the other hand, is great. The director and
three of the actors take the movie apart, going into detail about what works and
what doesn't, while having fun and kidding around at the same time. This is one
of those rare cases in which the commentary is almost better than the movie.
6:30 a.m.
I've been up all night, the sun is rising, but I must
nonetheless watch the sixth and final film, Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
This movie just doesn't know what it wants to be. In some scenes, Elvira
(Cassandra Peterson, Elvira's Haunted Hills) is a tough-talking rock and
roll chick, shocking the small-town conservatives around her. But at other
times, she's a role model, befriending the local white-bread teenagers and
teaching them important life lessons. Elvira's usual shtick of raunchy jokes and
groan-inducing puns is often at odds with the family-movie plot and setting.
Basically, all of the comedy has to come from Elvira herself, because everyone
around her is so bland and uninteresting. In Pee-Wee's Big Adventure,
another comedy based on a pseudo-celebrity, the filmmakers surrounded Pee-Wee
with all sorts of crazy characters to play off of. This established a bizarre
fantasy world for the film, such that the entire movie didn't hinge on one
performer's shoulders. Elvira doesn't benefit from this sense of
invention, sadly; instead, it hopes to generate laughs by having the title
character interact with normal folks. As a result, the movie comes across like a
five-minute comedy skit stretched out into a full-length movie.
8 a.m.
Tell me I'm not seeing what I'm seeing. At the end of
her movie, Elvira indulges in an elaborate song and dance number. She's
surrounded herself with half-naked guys dressed like devils wearing those
novelty "eyeballs on dangly springs" glasses, and everybody's all
happy and jumping all over the place. Perhaps the combined might of these movies
has overwhelmed me, and banished me to some sort of nightmarish dream world,
because no way can something this psycho possibly be on my TV screen. And
now...is Elvira rapping? My ears! My ears! Then, it ends with what is arguably
the most famous shot in the movie. Just think: If this were made today, those
swinging tassels would be all CGI.
8:15 a.m.
Is that it? Am I done? I have survived. I am now able
to step outside into the fresh air and the sunlight. I have endured the trials
of the '80s low budget horror comedy genre. I've seen a dead guy covered with
bees. I've seen Geena Davis as a half-naked vampire with a bowtie. I've seen the
world's shortest chase scene. I've seen not one, but two people, in two separate
movies, stabbed with high heeled shoes. I've seen a Brady sibling eat a hot dog
while covered with blood. I've seen all this and more, and yet I live to tell
the tale.
I'm going to go lie down for a while.
All six movies get Anchor Bay's usual excellent treatment in terms of visual quality. There are occasional scratches or grain here and there, but for the most part, they look great for their age. The audio varies from movie to movie, but none show any significant flaws. Although extras are not plentiful, what's here is good, especially the three commentaries.
This is the definitive "get drunk with your friends and watch a cheesy movie" collection. Here we have lowbrow laughs, low-budget gore, and low expectations. But isn't that why B-movies have such staying power? Once in a while, you're in the mood to enjoy something incredibly stupid.
"Unpleasant dreams."
Review content copyright © 2005 Mac McEntire; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2008 HipClick Designs LLC
Scales of Justice, Sleepaway Camp
Video: 90
Audio: 83
Extras: 70
Acting: 70
Story: 75
Judgment: 75
Perp Profile, Sleepaway Camp
Video Formats:
* 1.85:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono (English)
Subtitles:
* None
Running Time: 84 Minutes
Release Year: 1983
MPAA Rating: Rated R
Distinguishing Marks, Sleepaway Camp
* Commentary Track
* Theatrical Trailer
Scales of Justice, Transylvania 6-5000
Video: 90
Audio: 80
Extras: 78
Acting: 80
Story: 60
Judgment: 60
Perp Profile, Transylvania 6-5000
Video Formats:
* 1.85:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono (English)
Subtitles:
* None
Running Time: 94 Minutes
Release Year: 1985
MPAA Rating: Rated PG
Distinguishing Marks, Transylvania 6-5000
* Commentary Track
* Two Trailers
* TV Spots
* Storyboard Gallery
* Still Gallery
Scales of Justice, Vamp
Video: 95
Audio: 79
Extras: 89
Acting: 88
Story: 88
Judgment: 89
Perp Profile, Vamp
Video Formats:
* 1.85:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 1.0 Mono (English)
Subtitles:
* None
Running Time: 94 Minutes
Release Year: 1986
MPAA Rating: Rated R
Distinguishing Marks, Vamp
* Commentary
* Two Theatrical Trailers
* TV Spots
* Behind-the-scenes Footage
* Blooper Reel
* Short Film: "Dracula Bites the Big Apple"
* Poster and Still Gallery
Scales of Justice, Return To Horror High
Video: 93
Audio: 78
Extras: 25
Acting: 75
Story: 55
Judgment: 60
Perp Profile, Return To Horror High
Video Formats:
* 1.85:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 1.0 Mono (English)
Subtitles:
* None
Running Time: 94 Minutes
Release Year: 1987
MPAA Rating: Rated R
Distinguishing Marks, Return To Horror High
* Theatrical Trailer
Scales of Justice, Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark
Video: 92
Audio: 88
Extras: 60
Acting: 80
Story: 75
Judgment: 84
Perp Profile, Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark
Video Formats:
* 1.85:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround (English)
Subtitles:
* None
Running Time: 96 Minutes
Release Year: 1988
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13
Distinguishing Marks, Elvira, Mistress Of The Dark
* Theatrical Trailer
* Teaser Trailer
* Cassandra Peterson Bio
Scales of Justice, Return Of The Killer Tomatoes
Video: 75
Audio: 75
Extras: 25
Acting: 85
Story: 84
Judgment: 67
Perp Profile, Return Of The Killer Tomatoes
Video Formats:
* Full Frame
Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 1.0 Mono (English)
Subtitles:
* None
Running Time: 98 Minutes
Release Year: 1988
MPAA Rating: Rated PG
Distinguishing Marks, Return Of The Killer Tomatoes
* Theatrical Trailer
Accomplices
* IMDb: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0095088/combined
* IMDb: Return to Horror High
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0093854/combined
* IMDb: Return of the Killer Tomatoes
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0095989/combined
* IMDb: Sleepaway Camp
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0086320/combined
* IMDb: Transylvania 6-5000
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0090196/combined
* IMDb: Vamp
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0092147/combined
* DVD Verdict Review: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark
http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/elvira.php
* DVD Verdict Review: Return to Horror High
http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/returntohorrorhigh.php
* DVD Verdict Review: Return of the Killer Tomatoes
http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/returnkillertomatoes.php
* DVD Verdict Review: Sleepaway Camp
http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/sleepawaycamp.php
* DVD Verdict Review: Transylvania 6-5000
http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/transylvania65000.php
* DVD Verdict Review: Vamp
http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/vamp.php