Halo Eight // 2009 // 25 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Steve Power (Retired) // December 3rd, 2009
To Defend is human, to kill...divine.
I'm not quite sure I get the whole "motion comic" -- or illustrated film, if you're feeling particularly pretentious -- thing. The idea of squeezing what is essentially a glorified flash movie onto a disc with sound effects and voice acting just strikes me as an act of futility. When you don't have the budget for a full blown animated or live-action film, I guess it's kind of the next best thing. I'm sure there's artistry behind it, and I don't mean to dismiss the creators of such endeavors out of hand, but nothing manages to stretch a runtime more than a few sliding panels of barely animate artwork and radio-show style sound effects. It makes 25 minutes feel like two plodding hours.
Godkiller takes us to a far flung future where everyone dresses like something out of a Nine Inch Nails video, speaks in windy monologue, and says the F-word a lot. There's also some old guy who picks up young whores so he can use sex to activate his magical powers, a prostitute who turns feral upon orgasm, an organ harvester, and a dumb kid who says the F-word a lot. Did I mention that everyone in this movie loves the F-word?
I'm not going to beat around the garbage pile here, Godkiller sucks. This writing is the worst kind of elitist comic book drivel, the kind of stuff indie fans and unwashed greaseballs in Danzig T-shirts would probably go insane over. Lance Henriksen (Aliens) can't even sell this crap. The artwork is of the helter-skelter Bill Sienkiewicz variety -- which looks nice enough, but is somewhat hard to decipher -- and the audio mix is passable stereo. Outside of Lance, the rest of the voice actors are almost as bad as the story they're selling. Worth particular mention is the awful awful awful Davey Havok (of Punk band AFI), who sounds like he has no business whatsoever in a recording booth unless he's wailing about teen angst.
There's an audiobook (really?) in the extras that runs twice the length of the feature. It too is boring, full of long-winded blathering. The first two issues of the comic are included in PDF format, so you can see the humble origins of Godkiller, if you so choose. All things considered, it's not a bad slate of extras.
At least the whole thing is short.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Halo Eight
* 1.78:1 Anamorphic
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Running Time: 25 Minutes
Release Year: 2009
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
* Comic Book