Case Number 20372: Small Claims Court

THE GUNSLINGERS

Lionsgate // 2009 // 89 Minutes // Rated R
Reviewed by Judge Roy Hrab (Retired) // December 22nd, 2010

The Charge

They're Delivering Their Own Brand Of Justice.

The Case

The Gunslingers is an awful movie. There is nothing good about it. The story is terrible. The dialogue is inane. The acting is horrible. The special effects are woeful. The editing is atrocious.

The Gunslingers is an amateurish product that should have never been made.

Do. Not. Watch. This. Movie.

OK. Now that I've got that out of my system, what's this rubbish all about? Butch (John Elliot) is a bounty hunter. He has just captured the wanted criminal Rattler Fenton (Brad Allen). Fenton makes multiple pleas to Butch to let him go, promising him a share of secret loot. Butch will have none of it, and brings Rattle to the authorities. However, Butch gets into an argument with the sheriff and finds himself locked up in the cell next to Rattler. Needless to say, Rattler, armed with a piece of gold, finds some of the prison staff more willing to negotiate than Butch. This allows Rattler to engineer a jail break, which unintentionally allows Butch to escape. Elsewhere, a kidnapped Japanese woman (Narisa Suzuki) has her captors and her sister both killed by a mysterious gang led by the evil Mondego (Ben Hall). Needless to say, everyone's paths (or everyone who survives anyways) intersect in a mad rush to reach the gold. Oh, also along the way are some cheesy gunfights, brawls, and extremely poor green screen sequences.

The story makes little sense and the characters are pulled together by the weakest of threads. The treasure ends up being rather odd and no context is given. Also, some kind of supernatural angle is hinted at near the finale, but it is not explained either. Further, none of the characters has a personality or back story or charisma. It's all very irritating.

The video quality is low. The color and picture detail are poor. There is also grain. The audio is fine and actually the only good aspect of the film.

There are some lame extras. One is the "Storyboard-to Screen Comparison" feature that compares storyboard drawings to the filmed scenes (without any commentary). The second feature is "Behind the Green Screen," which compares pre- and post-green screen effects (again, without any commentary). The third extra is an "Alternate Opening" that shows Rattler's capture and reveals that the original title of the film was "Ecstasy of Gold." Last, there is a trailer for the film.

Really. Don't watch this movie. It's just plain bad and boring.

The Verdict

To paraphrase ESPN.com's Gregg Easterbrook: The Gunslingers, you are guilty of being the worst DVD I have ever reviewed. So far...

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Scales of Justice
Judgment: 9

Perp Profile
Studio: Lionsgate
Video Formats:
* 1.78:1 Anamorphic

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)

Subtitles:
* English
* Spanish

Running Time: 89 Minutes
Release Year: 2009
MPAA Rating: Rated R

Distinguishing Marks
* Alternate Opening
* Featurettes
* Trailer

Accomplices
* IMDb
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt1404677/combined

* Official Site
http://thegunslingersmovie.com/