Cinema Epoch // 2008 // 107 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // February 20th, 2009
"Hey, Vienna sausage! Want some? Guess not. More for me."
Ray Mayfield (John Will Clay) is an accomplished software engineer who gets himself fired one day. Despondent, he drives home, only to come across a mysterious car accident. On further investigation, he discovers that the driver was carrying a Super-Secret CD holding the key to a bomb that is set to blow up a city or something. Now tasked with the responsibility of keeping the CD out of the hands of the bad guys, Ray starts running. Just when he's about to get pinched, a lovely FBI agent intervenes and saves him. Her name is Sarah (Ashley Morgan). She's gone rogue from the Bureau, committed to tracking down the d-bag who offed her brother by herself. Together, this mismatched pair embarks on a crazy mission to prevent the terrorists from terrorizing.
Sounds awesome? Well, it's not. If given the choice between having to endure Interception again and having my toenails pried off with a staple remover, I'd choose watching Interception...but that doesn't mean it's not a stupid-ass movie.
The first mortal wound inflicted on the film is its lead character, Ray. This guy is a premium jackass, shrill, obnoxious, whiny and unfunny. He says things like "Saddle up, it's go time!" and "Oh, that's right. You're going to save the day like you save everything." John Will Clay plays him as the fish-out-of-water hero we've seen in countless other action movies, but whether it's the script or his performance (both, I suspect, since he's the co-writer), the finishing product is one of the all-time Top Three Most Irritating Heroes in an Action Movie. It took roughly three minutes of screen-time from this asshat to neutralize even a molecule of sympathy, so for the duration of the film all I wished for was for Ray Mayfield to either be capped by the bad guys or hit by a meteorite.
Faring a little better is Ashley Morgan as his counterpart. And by "faring a little better" I mean "I didn't wish her character was vaporized by a laser beam." She is, however, utterly predictable, and mind-bogglingly stupid. Even when she discovers the cataclysmic intentions of the bad guys she refuses to call for back-up, intent on seeing the scenario out to its conclusion on her own. And if that means a hundred thousand people have to burn to death in a fireball, so be it.
I'm still unclear as to the purpose of the bombing. The best the bad guy can come up with for motivation is boredom, as stated in this exchange:
GOOD GUY: "Why are you doing this?"
BAD GUY: "Because I can."
And that's all we've got to go on. By then I didn't care. Ray, in conjunction with his friend Buck Rodgers (not only is that the real name of the character, that's the real name of the actor), the so-called comic relief, had already laid to rest enough brain cells to fall well short of the minimum required to maintain consciousness. On the other hand, for a micro-budgeted production, the visual effects, pyrotechnics and musical score were all surprisingly top-shelf.
In case you're interested the film receives a nice 2.40:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer and an active enough 2.0 stereo track. Extras: The trailer, a making-of featurette, and outtakes, none of which are particularly memorable.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Cinema Epoch
* 2.40:1 Anamorphic
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Running Time: 107 Minutes
Release Year: 2008
MPAA Rating: Not Rated