Lionsgate // 1974 // 140 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // January 22nd, 2009
Kickin' it with the Ingalls on the prizzarie!
The latest collection of episodes in "The Girls of Little House on the Prairie" series (must...resist...inappropriate...calendar...joke) bundles up three shows from the legendary Little House on the Prairie, bound together with the theme of friendship.
"Town Party, Country Party"
The Ingalls sisters, Laura (Melissa Gilbert) and Mary, decide to throw a party at their farmhouse and invite all the local girls for a day of unbelievable fun. One of those girls is Olga, the daughter of an Eastern European immigrant family who's hiding a dark secret. You see, Olga has...one leg shorter than the other. Thanks to some good old-fashioned pioneer ingenuity from Pa Ingalls, Olga scores a the world's first platform shoe and just like that she fits in perfectly with the rest of the kids. But don't count out that @#$%& Nellie from ruining everyone's good time.
Moral: Some people are born different but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be invited to your all-girls frontier party.
Trademark Little House Warm and Fuzzies Moment: When Olga's ill-tempered father sees his daughter playing for the first time and breaks down into tears.
Bad-Ass Michael Landon Moment: Opening up a pint of whoop-ass on Olga's dad, when he confronts him in the barn about meddling in his affairs.
Reason #2355 Why Living on the Frontier Would Suck: The cure for a short leg? A horrible wooden shoe.
"At the End of the Rainbow"
While fishing, Laura and her pal discover something glittering in the water. Could it be? Why yes! It seems like they've discovered gold! Infected with a bad case of gold fever, the two set up a clandestine gold-panning operation and work hard to repel the inquisitive eyes of Nellie. When they finally cart their treasure to the bank to cash in, they make a crushing discovery of what they had actually unearthed.
Moral: Sometimes the greatest gift you can give your family isn't riches but your love and unquestioning obedience.
Trademark Little House Warm and Fuzzies Moment: Pa tells Laura she's worth more to the family than any amount of gold.
Bad-Ass Michael Landon Moment: When Laura says she's glad she couldn't buy a huge house because that would mean Ma would have too many rooms to clean, Pa laughs along, agreeing.
Reason #2356 Why Living on the Frontier Would Suck: You have to wait four weeks for a screen door?!
"Be My Friend"
Laura finds a bottle floating in the water containing a note that reads "Be My Friend." The cryptic river-borne messages continue, leading Pa and Laura on a scavenger hunt. What do they find? Why a baby, left by a young, single mother with an overbearing father. It's like the story of Moses, just more woodsy.
Moral: If you've got a surprise pregnancy, snooker some strangers into adopting your bastard child, using a complex system of river correspondence.
Trademark Little House Warm and Fuzzies Moment: Laura's tearful farewell to the baby.
Bad-Ass Michael Landon Moment: Baby daddy's forceful declaration to take responsibility for his offspring, following Pa's fatherhood pep talk.
Reason #2357 Why Living on the Frontier Would Suck: When your crappy wooden house burns down, you're pretty much screwed.
Picture quality ranges from gritty-and-dated to not-so-gritty-and-dated.
It's full frame, 2.0 stereo all the way, and no extras.
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Scales of Justice
* Full Frame
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Running Time: 140 Minutes
Release Year: 1974
MPAA Rating: Not Rated