Case Number 16076: Small Claims Court

HANNAH MONTANA: KEEPING IT REAL

Disney // 2007 // 113 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // April 6th, 2009

The Charge

And another seal is broken on the path to the apocalypse.

The Case

Disney's scheme for world domination continues with the release of another selection of episodes from their humongous pre-teen television hit.

* "The Test of My Love"
Miley finds herself enamored with a hip, good-looking rich kid named Trey. He promptly asks her out to eat dinner with his parents, and Miley worries how she'll fit in with the upper crust. The answer: not well. No matter how hard she tries to impress them, something backfires and she makes a fool out of herself in front of Trey's a-hole parents. Back at the Stewart household, Jackson drives his father crazy with his slob habits.

* "Don't Stop 'Til You Get the Phone"
Miley is desperate to score the cool, new Z-Phone, the awesome gadget that everyone awesome and cool and awesome has. When her father refuses to buy one for her, she and her friend concoct a scheme to earn some quick cash by selling a candid photo of Hannah Montana to a tabloid. Alas, the picture they took contains evidence that will blow up Miley's secret double life. Dwayne Johnson guest stars.

* "Yet Another Side of Me"
Miley is worried about the viability of her career when "Isis the Queen of Pop" criticizes her music and her look. Now she has it in her head that she needs to completely reinvent her Hannah Montana persona -- and that means becoming the anti-Hannah. The resulting lunacy stuns her family and friends and she tests out a bunch of looks that crater, until she -- are you ready for this -- LEARNS TO LOVE HERSELF FOR WHO SHE IS.

* "We're All on this Date Together"
Ray Romano and Donny Osmond cameo in this romantic tale about Hannah going on a date with two guys: the little annoying kid, Rico, and Corbin Bleu, the kid from High School Musical. As you can surmise, the high jinks flow fast and furious during the date, which, by the way, is wacky.

There's some charm in this series. I mean, sure, it's a cold-blooded corporate juggernaut designed to move retail product and sell concert tickets, but the show has a fun energy about it and it's not brutally unfunny. It won't make my top five list anytime soon, but for the designated demographic, I can see how Hannah Montana appeals. The four shows aren't tied together by any theme -- they're just four random episodes tossed together. I don't know what else to say. The kids will love it. If they're fans of the show, they'll be fans of this disc, so parents, here's an easy way to earn kudos. Besides, let's be honest, I could say that there are graphic scenes of barnyard animal sacrifice and these discs would still sell.

The shows look fine in their native full frame format, supplemented with 2.0 stereo tracks. Extras: a featurette on "Hannah's new look," which spotlights the wardrobe department and "Ready, Set, Don't Drive," a bonus episode.

The Verdict

I'm not the heartless bastard the media makes me out to be. Not guilty.

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 80

Perp Profile
Studio: Disney
Video Formats:
* Full Frame

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (Spanish)

Subtitles:
* English
* Spanish

Running Time: 113 Minutes
Release Year: 2007
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* Featurette
* Bonus Episode

Accomplices
* IMDb
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0493093/combined