Life Size Entertainment // 2004 // 79 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Mitchell Hattaway (Retired) // April 7th, 2006
Life and death are in the details...
When a young woman named Loula (Anna Sotiroudi) is murdered in her motel room, the producer of a true crime television series attempts to piece together her final days. After interviewing several of Anna's acquaintances, the producer is confronted by Kosmos (Giorgio Glastras), the fiancé had Anna left behind when she moved to the big city. After gaining the trust of the other man, Kosmos makes a startling confession.
This movie is awful. Just plain awful. Other than several shots of the quite fetching Anna Sotiroudi in a short skirt or her underwear, this movie has absolutely nothing going for it. It's fairly obvious how the story's going to end, the relationships between the characters don't make a damn bit of sense, and the dialogue -- what little there is -- is laughably pretentious. Much of the film consists of brief, herky-jerky handheld shots of people silently staring at each other (imagine a Dogme 95 film directed by Tony Scott, although Scott has never made a film that moves as slowly as this one), while the remaining moments consist of meaningless, completely nonsensical shots of smokestacks, conveyor belts, and chain link fences (what this has to do with the story is beyond me). Oh, wait, let me correct myself. There is one scene that consists of several long, unbroken shots. It's Loula and Kosmos's engagement party, and it seems to drag on longer than the wedding receptions in The Deer Hunter and The Godfather combined. >From what I understand, director Panos Karkanevatos has received acclaim in certain quarters, but I cannot imagine why. You'll find more evidence of cinematic talent in your average snuff film.
This is, from a technical standpoint, the sorriest excuse for a DVD I have ever held in my hands. The video transfer is without question the ugliest I have ever seen. This is worse than anything I've ever witnessed on VHS, camcorder-sourced bootlegs, commercial television, or scrambled pay cable. You want edge enhancement? You got it. You want pixilation? You got it. You want flat, dull, washed-out colors? You got it. You want jagged lines around any object that moves? You got it. You want PAL ghosting? You got it. (I'm starting to sound like Roy Orbison.) Every single shot contains at least one of these flaws. And the audio is almost as bad. Dialogue is generally muffled. The music screeches. The sound completely drops out on several occasions. The subtitles also leave much to be desired. At times they're not even present. When they are present, words are misspelled or missing altogether, there are unnecessary spaces before the apostrophes in most contractions, and the punctuation is off (sentences often end in commas). Honestly, were the people in quality control asleep the day this disc came up for inspection? As far as the extras go, you get zip, zilch, nada, and nothing. Not a bad deal for twenty-five bucks, is it?
Okay, that's all for now. I'm going grab some matches. It's time to put this thing out of its (to say nothing of my) misery.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Life Size Entertainment
* 1.66:1 Non-Anamorphic
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (Greek)
Running Time: 79 Minutes
Release Year: 2004
MPAA Rating: Not Rated