Case Number 25296: Small Claims Court


Anchor Bay // 2011 // 91 Minutes // Rated PG-13
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // February 15th, 2013

The Charge

Evil erupts from the Garden of Eden.

The Case

A wacko scientist has stumbled across a magical seed, rumored to be one of the original seeds from the Garden of Eden. Determined to see his ecological utopia spring to life, he releases the seed into the soil and inadvertently unleashes a full-scale botanical apocalypse on Nevada. As giant roots rip through the towns and highways of the Midwest, a pair of enterprising environmentalists race to bust the conspiracy wide open and deliver incriminating evidence to the authorities.

Meanwhile, a no-nonsense government agent (Adrian Pasdar, Heroes) teams up with a plucky researcher to trace the source of the runaway root and confront the mad scientist.

So, yeah, this movie. It's super dumb and a complete waste of your time. The characters are all dopes, the diabolical plot to take over the world makes no sense, and the visual effects are pathetic. Unless you're a die-hard Adrian Pasdar fan or family member, I cannot envision Seeds of Destruction appealing to anyone, anywhere. You'll find superior eco-terror by picturing Al Gore in a thong rolling around in poison sumac.

But you're here, and I don't want you to leave this review feeling you didn't get your no money's worth, so in lieu of droning on and on about how stupid this movie is, please read this, an article I wrote for the local newspaper about ten years ago. It's about a father/daughter dance in East Kingston, NH. Enjoy!

Lots of exhausted dads. And lots of wired daughters. That's what the casual passerby would find at East Kingston Elementary School on Friday night. It was the annual Father-Daughter dance, and the school gymnasium had been transformed into a dance club extraordinaire; music pounded, lights flashed, and dads and their little girls danced the night away -- -well, at least some of the dads gave it a good shot.

"Dad's really not a great dancer," said Shannon Murdock, a first-grader there with her father Senan. "I'm better than him."

Fresh off "The Hokey-Pokey," Senan laughed and shrugged his shoulders. Despite, the criticism, Senan-as well as the other fathers in attendance-recognize the importance of the event.

"It gets people out into a nice social setting," he said.

"This is like their first prom," said Kevin Ferreri, a five-year veteran of the event (and grateful his daughter was out of hearing-range so as to avoid observations on his dance moves.) "And it's cool, because we get to take them."

The dance -- always timed to fall in the timeline of Valentine's Day -- is sponsored by the After-school Enrichment Program. This coalition of parents normally provides activities when the last bell of the school day rings, but always takes pride in putting on the dance well after hours, when everyone else leaves except fathers and their daughters.

"I think this is a great tradition we have," said Chrissy Ferreri, one of the coordinators for the dance. "The girls' first dates are with their dads, and they look forward to it every year."

"Everyone's always psyched about it," said Janice Miller, a parent who runs the after-school program. "And tonight is the biggest turnout we ever had."

The attendance of over 100 people actually came as a welcome surprise to Miller and company, as the original date for the dance -- February 6 -- had to be nixed on account of weather. Scrambling to inform the parents, the coordinators were thrilled to see the turnout escalate beyond the initial registration; fathers and daughter were showing up and registering on Friday night.

"Everyone feels the Valentine season," said Miller.

To add to the formality of the evening (besides the attire, as all who attended were decked out in their swankiest threads), participants had their photo taken and daughters were given a corsage.

"The photos are put on our mantle," noted Senan Murdock, who had to excuse himself. His "date" was calling, his dance card was full, and the night was still young.

The Verdict

Terrible movie. Awesome father-daughter dance!

Review content copyright © 2013 David Johnson; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2016 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 50

Perp Profile
Studio: Anchor Bay
Video Formats:
* 1.78:1 Non-Anamorphic (1080p)

Audio Formats:
* TrueHD 5.1 Surround (English)

* English (SDH)
* Spanish

Running Time: 91 Minutes
Release Year: 2011
MPAA Rating: Rated PG-13

Distinguishing Marks
* None

* IMDb