SRS Cinema // 2012 // 60 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Gordon Sullivan // March 27th, 2013
It's true what they say about big feet.
When Sexsquatch: Legend of Blood Stool Creek arrived in my mailbox, I took a picture of the cover and texted it to friends: "That's it, we can all go home now." Really, what else is there to say after you've heard about Sexsquatch: Legend of Blood Stool Creek. That really says it all. Most readers never even clicked on this review, but for those intrepid souls who have, there are really only two reactions to that title. The first is "Get me out of here as fast as possible," which is understandable given the title. The other reaction is "I must see this film now!" So, really, this review is entirely unnecessary because half the audience doesn't need convincing and the other half could never be convinced. For those of you still reading, Sexsquatch generally lives up to expectations, though picky fans might wish for a more full-featured DVD.
An alien creature (the Sexsquatch of the title) crash lands near a lake, a lake where a group of young people are having a party to celebrate the deflowering of one of their number. Stinkfist the Sexsquatch has come to Earth to rape and murder, so his plans and the plans of the partiers don't mix very well. Blood and terror ensue.
Sexsquatch comes out of the Warlock Video folks, who are explicitly trying to bring back the good-ol'-days of VHS horror. Sexsquatch even starts with a video introduction from the Warlock himself, providing a nice little overview of the feature to come. Since it's a pretty generic and overdubbed sequence that could be used in front of any of their flicks, I'm guessing it's a reference to Lloyd Kaufman's famous Troma intros, where he mimes eating some food or sneezing so a voiceover can be used, and then the video intro can be recycled endlessly for different films. That's only the first of many Tromatic elements in the film. Sorority Babes in the Slime Bowl-O-Rama and Rabid Grannies are both referenced explicitly, and the film's approach to gore, sound effects, and sexual humor are very much in the Troma vein. Even the choice to cast zaftig actresses as the sexual/romantic interests seems Tromatic.
Of course there are a million low-budget filmmakers out there who grew up on The Toxic Avenger VHS tapes and similar fare. Most of them, though, don't have the smarts to pull off Sexsquatch. It might seems strange to read "Sexsquatch" and "smarts" in the same sentence, but it's true. The filmmakers have rightly kept the whole film pretty tight. It's over and done with in an hour, and there's no real padding (aside from that intro I described). The plot is set up quickly, the jokes (such as they are) come in every scene and most lines in every scene. The violent moments come pretty regularly, punctuating the hour with bits of gore. The fact that everything is so tight earns the film a certain latitude with regards to everything else; even if the acting and setting aren't top-tier, the filmmakers are game and trying to not waste viewers' time.
This DVD does a fine job of presenting the film. The 1.78:1 anamorphic transfer does justice to the shot-on-HD source. Everything is pretty clean and bright. Even darker night time scenes maintain a clarity that's impressive on this budget. No, it doesn't look like a big-budget Hollywood movie, but for an indie production of this variety it looks fine. The stereo audio track does a fine job as well; dialogue is clean and clear throughout. The soundtrack features a lot of music from various indie bands, and the music never overwhelms the dialogue.
Extras are sadly limited to a blooper reel and a set of trailers (though the box promises more, I couldn't find them). The 12 minutes of bloopers are amusing, as are the trailers, but fans will probably object to the lack of commentary and other material.
Do I need to list all the reasons that Sexsquatch is bad? Probably not, but the film is pretty standard for a low-budget feature: so-so acting, unconvincing effects, and lots of material intended to be extreme (language and content especially). That shouldn't surprise anyone, though. What's a bit more surprising, and might bother some genre fans, is the lack of any real nudity in the film. There's lots of cleavage and lots of talking about sex, but precious little in the way of nudity.
Sexsquatch: Legend of Blood Stool Creek is a fine addition to the VHS-horror revival. It doesn't bring anything new to the table, but what's here is ably executed low-budget horror comedy. The DVD could use more extras, but this is a fine disc to rent for those adventurous horror fans looking for a bit of fun, or for older fans willing to indulge in a bit of nostalgia.
Guilty, but in a good way.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: SRS Cinema
* 1.78:1 Anamorphic
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Running Time: 60 Minutes
Release Year: 2012
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
* Gag Reel