Case Number 11555: Small Claims Court

SSI: SEXY SQUAD INVESTIGATION

Seduction Cinema // 2006 // 80 Minutes // Rated R
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // June 15th, 2007

The Charge

Did they just use the words "hardened criminals" in the disc case synopsis? I think they did.

The Case

The latest entry in the soft-core-comedy pantheon, Sexy Squad Investigation (a.k.a. Sex Squad Investigation) sets its sweaty little sights on the crime-fighting procedural phenomenon. It's a direct parody of CSI, aping a pseudo soundtrack and everything, starring a couple of detectives sent out to enforce a new anti-illicit-sex law passed by -- you ready for this deft example of satire -- President Shrub, a stupid cowboy-hat-wearing redneck. Ah, writers of Sexy Squad Investigation, your wit is a shining example to us all!

The two officers are John Honeysuckle (John Paul Fedele) and Katrina Lightbody (A.J. Khan). John recently lost his partner during a sting operation and has become a bitter shell of a man and even with the addition of a smoking hot partner prone to spontaneous lesbian sexual encounters can't shake him out of his malaise. Lightbody, meanwhile, is focused on doing her job, which involves the capture of a serial seductress, who is preying on horny women and leaving them nude and moaning in ecstasy.

There you go, about one hour's worth of lame parody and sporadic female nudity. I would hazard a guess and say those are the two main aspects of this film that would draw potential viewers, the quality of the comedy and the level of T&A. Actually, I was surprised on both counts as to what SSI had to offer.

* The Horseplay
This film is primarily a comedy. As the erotic-spoof genre continues to grow (note: I have no basis for that statement), the targets for parody inexorably shrink (note: I would assume), so it's worthwhile to note when a comedy like this finds something interesting to lampoon (note: is it?). The procedural TV show angle is solid, and though the "Anti-Illicit Sex" plot device is crude, it gives the writers an avenue to plug in nude cavorting without seeming overly gratuitous.

Fedele doesn't irritate too much, and that's suitable praise for an affair like this, though his goofy, pronounced faces and overwrought delivery sometimes flirt with pissing me off. His counterpart, Khan, is tasked as the "straight man," juxtaposed with Honeysuckle's imbecility, which is a good thing, since Khan is no comedienne.

The jokes are scatological and sophomoric, but I couldn't bring myself to totally hate on the humor. It's stupid and base, sure, but strangely entertaining. Just don't expect to rupture your Islets of Langerhans bellowing at the gags.

* The Foreplay
Here comes the biggest surprise of the film: the sexual content is minimal. While there are more than a few naughty moments, the camera does not linger and the scenes are cut away from abruptly. This is of course due to the abridged R-rated cut that I reviewed, and the pruning was obvious. Khan, who sports an impressive resume of these soft-core direct-to-DVD releases, barely participates in the fleshy histrionics. Tucked in the disc case, however, is a free offer to send away for the unrated cut of the film, and while I haven't seen it, I can only assume it's stuffed with a bit more debauchery.

Though I was surprised by the quality of the comedy (that it didn't lead to self-immolation) and the sparseness of the sexual content (at least for a soft-corish Seduction Cinema release), these factors don't add up to a recommendation. The film is certainly not funny enough to merit a viewing based on the humor alone and if you're seeking titillation to go along with the parody, the R-rated cut will likely disappoint you. As for the mythical unrated version -- all bets are off.

Your specs: 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen (shot on a budget digital camera) and a 2.0 stereo audio track. Extras include a director's commentary, bloopers, a short film called "The FBI Guys," and a truckload of trailers.

Review content copyright © 2007 David Johnson; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2014 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 60

Perp Profile
Studio: Seduction Cinema
Video Formats:
* 1.78:1 Anamorphic

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)

Subtitles:
* None

Running Time: 80 Minutes
Release Year: 2006
MPAA Rating: Rated R

Distinguishing Marks
* Director's Commentary
* Gag Reel
* "The FBI Guys" Short Film
* Trailers

Accomplices
* IMDb
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0494270/combined