Impulse Pictures // 1983 // 87 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Appellate Judge Daryl Loomis // July 17th, 2013
Where is the skull?!
I don't know why I keep doing this to myself and, really, I should have learned my lesson plenty of times by now. Reviewing erotic films are just painful, both in the watching and in the writing. Now, I readily confess a long-standing love for the Eurotrash erotica that aired on cable in my youth, but without that nostalgia, this stuff is unwatchable. This is especially true for me with the Nikkatsu "roman porno" films made in Japan during the '70s and '80s. I know they have developed a cult status and, like my sad affection for the Black Emanuelle movies, people defend their existence, but I just can't see it and few that I've seen have been more unwatchable than She Cat.
Dr. "Cat" Kagami (Ai Saotome, Meiso chizu) is an abortion doctor with a burgeoning practice along with her best friend and sometimes lover, Kotoe (actress name unclear). A surprising pregnancy gets the pair invited to a party for the expecting couple, where the mother is shot dead. Another mystery woman, who came to the party looking for and was the woman the assassins intended to kill. Her presence puts Cat at risk, especially after delivering a morbid package that she must hang onto for dear life. Soon, she discovers the truth about her lover and must fight back, dealing revenge to those who have wronged her.
The back of the DVD boasts that She Cat is one of the longest movies in the Nikkatsu collection and, though I'm unsure how that's a feature, it feels every one of its 87 minutes. The plot, which involves transgendered women, abortion, and a ton of rape, is incredibly convoluted, especially for a simple revenge picture. New characters are added almost as often as there are sex scenes and, because all of them are supposed to be integral to the story, it becomes extremely hard to follow.
The draw of the film, of course, is the copious amount of sex, though most of it is terribly uncomfortable and rape-based, including one in the abortion clinic that goes on forever. It would have been easy to tell this revenge tale in about twenty minutes, but when you have to include one sex scene per reel, scores of characters, and a bunch of broad homophobic comedy, it has to run considerably longer, which serves nothing and nobody.
The only thing good I can say about the movie is that one of the characters drives a really cool car. I'm no automotive aficionado by any means, so I can't identify it, even with a fairly extensive internet search. If any reader out there is both a car person and a Nikkatsu fan, let me know what it is, because that thing is freaking awesome. Other than that, I want to purge this stupid movie from my brain, though I know I never will.
She Cat comes to DVD from Impulse Pictures with a bare bones, but decent looking edition. The 1.85:1 anamorphic image looks perfectly fine, though it's nothing incredible. There is the occasional piece of dirt or scratching on the print, but it's nothing too distracting, and the colors look pretty good. The sound isn't particularly special, but it's mostly free from noise, allowing viewers all the opportunity they can handle to listen to the amazingly dumb dialog. Aside from the original trailer, there are no extras on the disc.
One of these days, I'm going to smarten up on my review choices and stop watching these piles of garbage. Who knows when that day will come, though. Until it does, I'll be left to suffer through things I should know better than to watch.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Impulse Pictures
* 1.85:1 Anamorphic
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Mono (Japanese)
Running Time: 87 Minutes
Release Year: 1983
MPAA Rating: Not Rated