Case Number 18651: Small Claims Court


Mill Creek Entertainment // 1991 // 901 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // April 2nd, 2010

The Charge

Ohhhhhhhhh awwwwwww ahhhhhhhhh aaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!

The Case

Back in 1991, omnipresent TV god Stephen Cannell produced a cutting-edge, provocative cop series full of pastels and hair gel. Silk Stalkings ran on CBS for a while then moved over to USA Network where it would eventually atrophy and die, but not before I remember seeing the previews for the show a as a horny teenager and thinking how amazingly hot that show must be. In reality, Silk Stalkings never quite got sexier than its opening credits.

Palm Beach, Florida is a sweaty, pulsating hive of intercourse and murder, and when passion-driven crime goes down (a "Silk Stalking" in sexy-cop speak) two ace detectives are called in: Sergeants Rita Lance (Mitzi Kapture) and Chris Lorenzo (Rob Estes). These two are best friends, despite the fact that the sexual tension between the two has been known to drive nearby domesticated pets insane. Other fan facts: Rita learns in the pilot episode that she has a brain aneurysm and Chris jogs in dress pants. And each detective owns a gigantic cellular phone.

Season One brings 20 episodes, totaling 15 hours worth of moaning and investigating and suit-jackets over T-shirts and Mitzi Kapture's epically huge hairstyle. Also, my memories of titillation way back when can be put to rest. Silk Stalkings is pretty much like any other cop series (and, in fact, when compared to contemporary stuff is actually a good amount tamer), despite how hard the producers try to sell the hotness quotient. The close-ups of the lingerie models in the opening titles are about as slutty as it gets. None of the footage shot in that infamous sequence appears in a single episode.

As far as the series itself, it's a standard issue procedural. Kapture and Estes do well here and have good chemistry out of the gate. It's also nice they work so well together, bypassing any forced conflict between them, allowing them to focus on the cases and the various aspects of their personal lives (e.g. Chris threatens Rita's date with bodily harm if they hurt her, Rita rolls her eyes at yet another tale of her partner's sexual escapades). The cases are okay, most of which involved these so-called high-class "silk stalking" murders and typically culminate in the perpetrator being revealed as the biggest, snottiest douchebag from the particular episode.

A typically bare-bones release from Mill Creek, fronted by some clumsy packaging which gives way to a stack of DVDs in paper sleeves. Episodes are issued in their native full frame, 2.0 stereo versions, with no extras joining for duty.

The Verdict

Not Guilty, but this set is only for die-hard fans that missed out on the original DVD release six years ago.

Review content copyright © 2010 David Johnson; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2016 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 75

Perp Profile
Studio: Mill Creek Entertainment
Video Formats:
* Full Frame

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)

* None

Running Time: 901 Minutes
Release Year: 1991
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* None

* IMDb