Case Number 09000: Small Claims Court

TIE DYE 101: THE BASICS OF MAKING EXCEPTIONAL TIE DYE

TrueTieDye.com // 2005 // 87 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // April 6th, 2006

The Charge

Like, far out man.

The Case

I will never call hippies lazy again. After watching this detailed, 90-minute, step-by-step instructional DVD about making your own tie dye designs, I have come to realize that if you want to concoct a snazzy, multi-colored, psychedelic t-shirt, you should hold at least a Masters Degree in chemical engineering. Between the proper selection of chemicals, the profoundly accurate mixing methodology, the voluminous materials needed, and the precise dying of the shirts, forging one's own tie dye masterpiece appears to this layman to be about as simple as splitting the atom.

That being said, if you're committed to learning the craft and feel you just need to unleash that pent-up tie dye stress that's about to boil over, this is most definitely the DVD for you. (Full disclosure: I have never ever seen another tie dye DVD before, so there's nothing for me to weigh Tie Dye 101 against.) I can say, however, that if I were bitten by the tie dye bug, having watched this video, I would feel confident that I could construct my own fabulously trippy t-shirt without exposing my hands to third-degree chemical burns.

Your two hosts for the proceedings are a pair of tie dye experts named Tom and Martine. These two certainly know their stuff, as evidenced by the crazy creations of their own design they sport during the DVD. They'll escort you nice and easy through every meticulous step, from set-up, picking the right chemicals, mixing them properly, tying and preparing your t-shirts, picking out the best colors, applying the dye, and finally unleashing the finished product. As far as I can tell -- being a tie dye virgin -- nothing was left out; if you have the time, money, motivation, materials, and patience I don't see how you couldn't be tie dying like a freak after this program closes.

On the substance aspect, Tom and Martine have it nailed. As for the style -- uh, well, that's an entirely different story. How can I put this nicely? Hmmmmm. I guess I can't. Tom and Martine are the two most boring hosts of an instructional DVD I have ever seen. Their information is good, but they're only slightly more charismatic than a dead actuary. Worse, the whole time it's brutally obvious they're reading cue cards. If the producers had placed the cue cards near the camera so at least they're looking at us as their eyes dart back and forth, it would have helped. But no -- as Martine rattles off the laundry list of needed chemicals, she's staring off into space. The only element that remotely spices up this horrendous presentation is the dashes of music laid over the chapter division. I use the term "music" lightly, though, as these particular arrangements appear to have been composed by a blindfolded man throwing bean-bags on a Casio.

Still, Tie Dye 101 is the very definition of "niche marketing." You want to tie dye? This disc will show you how. End of story.

Review content copyright © 2006 David Johnson; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2014 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 80

Perp Profile
Studio: TrueTieDye.com
Video Formats:
* Full Frame

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)

Subtitles:
* None

Running Time: 87 Minutes
Release Year: 2005
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* None

Accomplices
* None