Code Red // 1995 // 77 Minutes // Rated R
Reviewed by Appellate Judge Daryl Loomis // September 6th, 2011
I told you, girlfriend, I have to win.
With the chance to win a whole six thousand bucks, a group of nubile young women leave the weird nudie review they've been working for to head to Malibu to film a nudie game show. Could anything be more exciting?
Shockingly, the answer to that question is yes, almost any activity would be more exciting than watching this DVD. If one were to take the dumbest aspects of Porkys, Meatballs, and Bikini Carwash Company, mix them together, and pour the stew out onto a television screen, they would end up with something more intelligent than Wild Malibu Weekend. This can only be called a movie in the most technical sense, in that there are a series of pictures flashing in sequence at a high speed to create the illusion of movement. Any other interpretation of the word gives this thing far, far too much credit.
It would take only the most desperate teenage horndog to need nudity bad enough to sit through Wild Malibu Weekend. Given what was available in video stores in 1995, there would have been no excuse to even consider renting this. It's plotless trash that runs like it was actually recorded over two days. It may have, for all I know, and even if it was, I would still be one of the most inept films ever to be recorded over a weekend. If there ever was a selling point, it was that Barbara Moore (Austin Powers), December 1992's Playboy Playmate of the month, and Shauna O'Brien (Friend of the Family), January 1992's Penthouse Pet of the month, appear as two of the stars. Maybe, once upon a time, they were relevant in the softcore world, but that's totally meaningless today. That means we're left with nameless, topless women engaging in nude musical chairs, nude whipped cream fights, nude Twister, and nude balloon wrestling (though, even after seeing the movie, I still don't know what that's supposed to be). Seriously, Wild Malibu Weekend is pathetic, and the less time spent talking about it, the better off all of us are.
I like Code Red, I really do, but they've put together some pretty sub-par work for Wild Malibu Weekend; not that I mind in this case, but the disc is a much lower standard than I'm used to from the label. The full frame image appears to have been transferred to disc sometime around 1999, judging from the terrible problems with artifacts and interlacing. The sound is fine, I suppose, with a minimum of noise, but there's nothing in the stereo mix to praise, either. Thankfully, the only extra on the disc is the requisite set of Code Red trailers.
Wild Malibu Weekend is fairly short, which is the best thing I can say about it. That the poor DVD is still better than the movie on it says a lot about how bad this movie is. There is nothing worth seeing here. Move along.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Code Red
* Full Frame
* Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Running Time: 77 Minutes
Release Year: 1995
MPAA Rating: Rated R