Case Number 25957: Small Claims Court

WONDER WOMEN (1973)

RetroMedia // 1973 // 81 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge David Johnson // July 12th, 2013

The Charge

Kung fu girls on the rampage!

The Case

Allow me to quote, verbatim, the synopsis on the back of the disc:

When high-priced athletes begin disappearing in the Philippines it's time for crack Private Investigator, Mike Harbor (Ross Hagen), to leap into action. Following a tail of deadly encounter Mike finds his way to the island fortress of the evil Dr. Tsu (Nancy Kwan) and her All-Girl Army of Kung Fu killers, the Wonder Women!

Now that's a plot encapsulation. If that doesn't get at least fifty shoppers to impulse buy this disc, then I don't know what will. Well, if the movie was any good that could probably prompt a few sales.

Thing is, Wonder Women is not good. It's actually quite an impressive wheelbarrow bull of incoherent nonsense -- just not in a good way. I'm always up for insane jibber-jabber excavated from the bowels of Forgotten Film Land and as promising as Wonder Women sounded, it all just ended up being an indecipherable chore.

Look, I can get behind any piece of cinema that uses a kidnapped jai alai player as its centerpiece, especially when it turns out he's been abducted by a diabolical surgeon who sells off parts of professional athletes to the wealthy and powerful.

Again, sounds like it could be all kinds of crazy fun. Nope, it's largely played straight, setting a bizarre tonal juxtaposition. In the face of such wanton drug-fueled screenwriting, everyone in front and behind the camera decide to make their middle school acting coaches and/or moms proud. Normally, this scenario leads to inadvertent bad-movie hilarity, but I was far too bored to care at that point.

Lastly, the Wonder Women themselves? Relegated to cameos, with very little kung fu to their names. A straight-up disappointment.

The DVD is loaded with more extras than your typical Wonder Women fan could possibly ask for: director's commentary, on-set 8mm movies, radio and TV spots, a video interview, extended scenes, a still gallery and, finally, scenes from the sequel, Warrior Women.

Wait, a sequel?

The Verdict

Sadly, these women are wonder-free.

Review content copyright © 2013 David Johnson; Site layout and review format copyright © 1998 - 2014 HipClick Designs LLC

Scales of Justice
Judgment: 60

Perp Profile
Studio: RetroMedia
Video Formats:
* 1.78:1 Anamorphic

Audio Formats:
* Dolby Digital 1.0 Mono (English)

Subtitles:
* None

Running Time: 81 Minutes
Release Year: 1973
MPAA Rating: Not Rated

Distinguishing Marks
* Commentary
* Featurettes
* Radio/TV Spots
* Extended Scenes
* Image Gallery

Accomplices
* IMDb
http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0070926/combined