All Rise...

Judge David Johnson wants to throw his cat into a bathtub filled with tomato bisque and try to win some money. But his wife refuses to hold the camera.

The Charge

As if you couldn't get enough of that monkey sniffing his butt and passing out…

Opening Statement

Shout! Factory has assembled a three-disc onslaught of morons caught on tape and you will reap the gut-busting benefits. Property damage is hilarious!

Facts of the Case

The theme for today's go-round of videotaped hijinks is "kids and animals," and the AFV crew has dug into the archives to pull it all together. And you know what that means: Bob mother@#$%-ing Saget!

Together, he and current host (and current host of like fifty other programs) Tom Bergeron have over 200 minutes worth of kids and animal footage for you, as well as a canoe-load of bonus stuff.

And you know what's best of all? My all-time favorite clip is part of the package—the little kid getting clocked in the skull from a full-court shot at a basketball game. Remember that one? That was so great.

The Evidence

Three discs. Five shows. Unimaginable groin trauma.

Disc One

• "AFV Looks at Kids and Animals"
Bob Saget fronts this collection of videos from the late '90s. All the ingredients are present that defined this particular era of the show: clueless-looking audience members who laugh so hard at the baby picking his nose that you fear for their pancreases, Bob Saget's grating voice-overs and bizarre one-liners, and clips that range from "okay-kind-of-amusing" to "well-that-was-a-waste-of-postage."

• Bonus Episode: 1996 $100,000 Season Finale
It's totally unrelated to the theme of the set, but it's more funny videos, so who's complaining. Man, I remember when these $100K specials were the highlight of the year, and Saget and company embraced it: the tuxedo, the balloons, even a limo at the beginning! I wonder if ABC hired a Secret Service detail to take a bullet for Saget if need be?

Disc Two

• "All Animal Extravaganza"
We're with Bergeron here, and it's an animals-only show. Thankfully, the clips are funnier. Why? I attribute it to a confluence of two 21st century aspects: a) home video technology became much more affordable and b) Americans got a lot stupider. In this case, Americans' pets got a lot stupider and that means a whole lot of cats running headfirst into walls. I like!

• Bonus Episode: 2004 $100,000 Season Finale
The fanfare is much more subdued, but, still, some lucky bunch of stiffs gets 100 grand for happening to have the camera on when Uncle Walt drove a hex screw into his jaw.

Disc Three

• "Battle of the Best"
A nice bonus for the set. While completely eschewing the kids and animals motif, this two-hour special is essentially a highlight reel of all the past submissions. As such you get classics like the dog fetching the Roman Candle, the kid screaming out the ABCs, and the aforementioned monkey butt-sniffer. The downside? In between clips, you'll be forced to listen to a panel of C-list celebrities talk about which clip they liked the most. Ugh. Kathy Griffin, Martin Mull, Picabo Street, and Coolio? Back to the crotch shots, please.

Closing Statement

You get a lot of bang for your buck with this hefty set. If AFV scratches that humor itch for you, scope these discs out. There's plenty to laugh at.

The Verdict

Seriously, that kid getting popped with the basketball is awesome. Not guilty.

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Did we give America's Funniest Home Videos: The Best Of Kids And Animals a fair trial? yes / no

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