Judge David Johnson was on the attack boys' diving team, before he was kicked off for attacking too much.
They're cutting class…down to the bone.
Yes, this is the greatest title ever conceived for a movie. No, the movie itself isn't that great. But we do get blood, nipples, and fake intestines.
Facts of the Case
Aki (Sasa Handa) has a secret. The newest student at the high school may appear to be your typical, beautiful girl who loves getting naked, but in reality she's a highly-trained assassin, running away from a guy who can arouse women with his flute playing.
She enrolls just in time because a zombie outbreak soon sweeps through the hallways, infecting anyone who's had a recent vaccination, turning them into lumbering, meat-eating wackos. The only students immune to the epidemic are the girls of the swim team and, under the leadership of Aki, they're primed to don form-fitting Speedos and push back the undead horde.
This is trash. Pure, distilled grindhouse trash. But at least the people behind Attack Girls Swim Team know it's trash. To their credit—and your benefit, if you're in the mood for such wanton displays of bloodletting and lesbian hijinks—they embrace it. Actually, they strip down to nothing, slather on baby oil, and fornicate with it.
Let's take a look at the trash aspects, before we get into the merit of the film itself (Spoiler: there isn't much merit):
The Trademark Japanese Lunacy
All that sounds like premium schlock content—and it sort of is—but this movie is cosmically stupid. The nudity, gore, and craziness all encompasses the entirety of what Attack Girls' Swim Team is: a giant bucket of nonsensical trash. If that's all you're hankering for, then you should be satisfied.
Nothing much happening with the DVD: 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, 2.0 stereo (Japanese with English subtitles) and zero extras.
Attack Girls' Swim Team Versus the Undead is the McRib of horror movies: disgusting, cheap, and not very good for you.
For what it's trying to be: Not Guilty. For its brain-cell-nuking prowess:
Give us your feedback!
What's "fair"? Whether positive or negative, our reviews should be unbiased, informative, and critique the material on its own merits.
Scales of Justice
Studio: Section23 Films
Review content copyright © 2009 David Johnson; Site design and review layout copyright © 2016 Verdict Partners LLC. All rights reserved.