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Case Number 17402: Small Claims Court

Buy Bald at Amazon


Image Entertainment // 2008 // 80 Minutes // Rated R
Reviewed by Judge Gordon Sullivan // October 4th, 2009

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All Rise...

Judge Gordon Sullivan says going bald will be better than watching this.

The Charge

The only things meant to be bald are Eagles and Beaver!

The Case

I remember (quite fondly) seeing American Pie when it first came out in theaters. Not only was it a great movie, but it signaled a boom in more edgy teen comedies, a genre which had lain dormant for quite some time. Yes, it was an interesting few years, but every boom must have its bust: the release of Freddy Got Fingered showed that perhaps the studios had been too lenient, so everything clammed up for a while. Then along came Seth Rogan and his merry band, and the populace rejoiced once more for smart, scatalogically informed, hard-R comedies. Sadly, if Bald is the product of that movement, it might be time for another bust.

Bald is the story of young Andrew Wood (David Lengel), who is going prematurely bald. He's worried that his lack of tonsorial splendor will a negative effect on his romantic endeavors. If only he had the money for a hair transplant. Well, his roommate Max (Jonathan Cherry, The Vanishing Dragon) has the perfect idea to raise money: start a Web site featuring naked and naughty co-eds from the campus. When they're rolling in dough, Andrew will be able to afford all the new hair he wants.

Earlier I mentioned Seth Rogan's comedy renaissance, but Bald really belongs to the tradition of National Lampoon (and I'm not talking about the classic comedies of yesteryear). Like the recent spate of cookie-cutter college comedies, Bald is a relentless recitation of college-comedy clichés. We've got the sexually insecure main character, the stoner roommate with a genius plan, various semi-clothed women, and a few romantic entanglements. I mean this is the kind of film that thinks it's funny to have the stoner roommate smoke joints the size of a kosher salami. Most of the time I felt like I was watching the movie with a checklist marking off various tired jokes about college life and the Internet. Also, for a film that's supposed to be about a sexy Web site, there is remarkably little nudity. Sure, there are a few flashes here and there, but not nearly as much as you might expect, given the premise.

Although I think the film is hard to recommend, it's not a total failure. I don't know if it's because of the low budget (a cool million, according to IMDb) or the vision of the creators, but Bald has a certain anarchic spirit that's hard to deny. Although I can't claim that the acting is going to win any awards, the entire cast gets completely into their roles, which helps, since many actors would feel this material is beneath them. The fact that everyone is on board with the silliness makes it a little easier to tolerate.

Image sent a screener for consideration, so it's impossible to make judgments about the final image and sound quality, but I can say that the source looks pretty good. The film was obviously made a little on the cheap so it's never going to look reference quality. Since the film is a dialogue-heavy comedy, there's not much for the surrounds to do. The only extra on this disc is the film's trailer.

Bald doesn't break any new ground in the college-comedy genre, and those looking to be titillated by lots of nudity will be sorely disappointed. Although the actors keep the film from sinking entirely, Bald is probably only going to appeal to late-night channel surfers who stumble upon it while bored or inebriated. It might also be worth a rental for a "bad movie" night because of the low budget and cheesy script. Serious comedy fans should look elsewhere.

The Verdict


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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 70

Perp Profile

Studio: Image Entertainment
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
• English (SDH)
• Spanish
Running Time: 80 Minutes
Release Year: 2008
MPAA Rating: Rated R
• Comedy

Distinguishing Marks

• Trailer


• IMDb

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