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Case Number 24846: Small Claims Court

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Big Tits Zombie

Funimation // 2010 // 73 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Gordon Sullivan // November 21st, 2012

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All Rise...

Judge Gordon Sullivan thinks The Walking Dead would be more fun with a title like this.

The Charge

Zombies, Strippers, and Deadly Double D's

The Case

When smaller, independent releases start to utilize some new technique or technology, it's clear that the technique or technology in question is either just on the rise or has reached saturation. Given the recent spate of 3D movies at the multiplex, I'd guess it's here the stay, and Big Tits Zombie pretty much confirms that suspicion. If a one-off Japanese creature feature/nudie flick is going to use 3D effects, they've really taken off. Aside from the odd inclusion of old-school 3D effects, there's very little about this bizarre Japanese pretty girl/zombie flick hybrid, though aficionados of bad movies will enjoy its gonzo sensibilities.

It's called Big Tits Zombie. You don't expect a plot do you? Well, surprisingly, there is a bit of one. At an exotic dancing parlor, five young women unearth an ancient book. When the gothiest of them reads from the book, she brings the dead back to life, and suddenly the ladies have to fight for their lives.

I can only assume that the world of online video streaming has been kind to makers of crazy Japanese monster/action/pretty girl movies. With a dearth of first-run content and the monthly bill already paid, many viewers are willing to take a chance on films that at least offer the entertainment value of a truly bizarre premise. Thus, films like Mutant Girls Squad, a relatively traditional monster movie mash-up gets streaming popularity. That frees the works up for films like Big Tits Zombie, which plays like the little sibling to those insane monster movies that are themselves descended from the likes of Godzilla.

Not that you're likely to see Big Tits Zombie streaming any time soon, if for no other reason that it's a 3D film, and 3D flicks have so far been left out of the streaming media race. And yet the point still stands—Big Tits Zombie benefits from all the other monster movies that have come before it.

The first thing that stands out about the film is its low-rent nature. Unlike many flicks of this type, Big Tits Zombie doesn't aim for a big-budget look. Instead, there's a kind of reality-TV style run-and-gun approach to the visuals. Unlike the cheap nature of many zombie flicks, this style actually helps Big Tits Zombie. The fly-on-the-wall visuals help the sometimes so-so gore effects seem more plausible.

The second thing that stands out about Big Tits Zombie is the way the 3D effects are used. Unsurprisingly, they're a gimmick used more as a joke than for any actual cinematic value. A little icon pops up in the corner just before 3D-oriented scenes, and those watching the 2D version aren't missing more than a bit of blood spatter and gore coming at your face.

The final thing that stands out about Big Tits Zombie is the lack of the big tits (though we do get plenty of zombies). The film has a generally comic tone, not particularly erotic or horrifying, and the nudity is very infrequent and played more for laughs than titillation. That's not a bad thing, as excessive nudity would have distracted from the film's overall tone. However, those hoping for lots of bouncy Japanese breasts in glorious 3D will be sorely disappointed by this release.

The release itself is actually pretty good. We get options for both the 2D and 3D versions of the film (with a pair of traditional red-and-blue glasses included in the case). Both look like contemporary, shot-on-video productions. Detail is okay, colors are pretty strong, and the image is free of serious compression artifacts. There are both Japanese and English 2.0 stereo tracks that keep dialogue clear and well-balanced. English subtitles are included as well. The set's lone extra is a pretty extensive making-of featurette that combines behind-the-scenes footage with interviews featuring cast and crew.

Big Tits Zombie is a bad movie. The acting is so-so, the plot all but nonexistent, and the production barebones. Obviously, there's a market for this kind of film amongst bad-movie fans, but for anyone looking for traditional cinema, Japanese or otherwise, this is not the film to pursue. Even bad movie fans might have a bit of trouble with this mixture of Zombie Strippers and Evil Dead 2, thanks to the language barrier, the weirdness of the 3D, and the odd moments of nudity.

If you hear Big Tits Zombie and immediately think "I need to see that," chances are the film won't disappoint. If, however, you hear that title and think "Huh?" then you're probably better off ignorant of just what the Japanese can do with a zombie movie.

The Verdict

Guilty, but how could Big Tits Zombie not be?

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 78

Perp Profile

Studio: Funimation
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (Japanese)
Subtitles:
• English
Running Time: 73 Minutes
Release Year: 2010
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Action
• Comedy
• Foreign
• Horror
• Thriller

Distinguishing Marks

• Featurette

Accomplices

• IMDb








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