Judge David Johnson sits back down with an old friend.
A return interview with one of cinema's most prolific performers.
With the release of Retromedia's Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, DVD Verdict arranged to have a sit-down interview with one of the film's stars, arguably the hardest-working professional in the genre of straight-to-DVD titillation: the Communicable Disease.
Verdict: Welcome back CD, it's always great to talk with you.
Communicable Disease: I'm glad to be back!
Verdict: I have to say, you're looking pretty good.
Communicable Disease: Thanks!
Verdict: And that's saying something, considering you exist on a cellular level.
Communicable Disease: Well, that's what a commitment to fitness and healthy eating will do for you.
Verdict: No doubt. I can clearly see the tone and definition in your protein coat.
Communicable Disease: I have to stay fit, especially in this industry and in this economy. What director is going to hire me if I can't pull my weight on a shoot?
Verdict: I take it then you've been able to keep busy in this challenging climate?
Communicable Disease: Yes, yes I have. Business is good and that's a relief. Like everyone else, I have a mortgage. I have credit card payments. I have crippling gambling debts.
Verdict: Before we get into your work on Bikini Jones and the Temple of Eros, what other productions have you been involved in this year?
Communicable Disease: Wow, so much. Um, there was Bikini Trek, Sense and Bikinibility, No Bikini for Old Men, and Bikini Potter and the Chamber of Genitals.
Verdict: That, my friend, is a full plate. So talk to me a little about your experience with Bikini Jones.
Communicable Disease: Oh, it was a great time. But a whole lot of work. In fact, I don't think I've ever worked so hard in my life—and with so many people!
Verdict: You're not kidding. Have you ever had that much screen time with all those different cast members?
Communicable Disease: Not since The Last Temptation of the Bikini. I was working so hard and so often in this movie, I came seriously close to violating the terms of my Guild of Viral Performers contract.
Verdict: That sounds accurate, judging from the footage I've seen. So what's the movie about?
Communicable Disease: Hmmmm. What do you think the movie's about?
Verdict: I asked you first.
Communicable Disease: Okay, you're kind of putting me on the spot here. Let's see, there's Bikini Jones and she finds the idol and I guess it has a map on it to some treasure and an evil space queen wants it and…honestly that's the best I can do.
Verdict: I'm impressed! That's the most coherent description of the story I've heard.
Communicable Disease: Well, I caught the off-Broadway play the movie was based on.
Verdict: Talk to me about your co-star, Christine Nguyen.
Communicable Disease: She's such a warm person, both figuratively and literally.
Verdict: You had a lot of scenes with her. A lot. Was there any awkwardness between you two?
Communicable Disease: No way. Our performances were comfortable and complementary. Besides, it helped that she had worked with a lot of my family members over the years.
Verdict: Any close calls?
Communicable Disease: Heh, you read the piece in Variety, too? That incident was wildly overblown. Any shower scene has its challenges for a performer like me, of course. It's never fun to be around soapy water. But I do what the director asks of me.
Verdict: Good work pulling yourself together for the subsequent scenes in the doctor's office, the living room, the office, and the futuristic dome lounge.
Communicable Disease: Thanks.
Verdict: What do you have coming up?
Communicable Disease: I'm actually going to take a break from films for a while to write my memoirs.
Verdict: Cool. Got a title yet?
Communicable Disease: "Crotch Times."
Guilty, but a shot of penicillin should clear that right up.
Give us your feedback!
What's "fair"? Whether positive or negative, our reviews should be unbiased, informative, and critique the material on its own merits.
Other Reviews You Might Enjoy
Scales of Justice
Studio: Infinity Entertainment
Review content copyright © 2010 David Johnson; Site design and review layout copyright © 2016 Verdict Partners LLC. All rights reserved.