Judge David Johnson used to play bass for a demon-possessed heavy metal band. They called themselves the Cupcake Brigade.
Live for one night only…that's all they'll ever need.
You can never have too many Satanic heavy metal horror movies. Black Roses will rock you so hard your goldfish will feel it!
Facts of the Case
The small town of Mill Basin has had its delicate social balance upset with the news that the Black Roses, the hottest metal band in the country, is coming to kick off its national tour in the town's high school gym. Parents and municipal officials are fidgety, but the teens are delirious with excitement.
Caught in the middle is Matt Moorhouse (John Martin), the popular high school English teacher. He has some misgivings about the Roses and its flashy lead singer Damian (Sal Viviano) and thinks the band's intentions are questionable.
His instincts prove to be correct. The town's youth go crazy, murder their parents and generally develop anti-social behaviors. Turns out Black Roses is a metal band from Hell, headlined by a full-on Satan-spawn, which infects its listeners with demon possession. The challenge of eradicating this evil from the town will fall to Matt who will be forced to call upon all the powers of his fantastic moustache to drive the Devil out.
The perfect companion piece to the far-out classic Rock 'n Roll Nightmare (made by the same director), Black Roses is mega-fun. Sporting atrocious acting, the worst movie score I've ever heard, bodacious creature effects, gratuitous, anonymous breast shots and a hefty helping of gore, this moronic metal masterpiece is a great gift idea for the cheesy horror movie-lover in your family.
Let's take a closer look at what makes Black Roses so awesome:
Matt Moorhouse: English Teacher of Death
High School Students That Look 30
That's only a taste of the greatness to be found on this disc. Black Roses is about as fun as cheesy horror movies come, and will no doubt provide much amusement for you and your inebriated dorm pals. If the idea of a heavy metal band turning idiot kids that look like retail middle management into demon-possessed killing machines made of rubber sounds even remotely interesting to you, then do yourself a favor and rock out with the Black Roses
Synapse does this disc proud, offering a slick-looking 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer mastered from the original negative. The picture quality is very good overall, with only the giant coiffures betraying the film's age. A 2.0 stereo mix serves the sound well, but crap in a cauldron does that score suck! The best of the extras is a fun, self-deprecating commentary from director John Fasano, writer Cindy Sorrell and star Carla Ferrigno. Trailers and audition tape excerpt remain.
Black Roses rocks. That is all.
Not guilty. (guitar riff)
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Scales of Justice
• Audio commentary
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