Has anyone actually had a blood bath? Anyone? Because Judge David Johnson heard it's great for the pores.
Hey, that the mom from Everybody Loves Raymond?!?
Joel M. Reed, the director of the thoroughly depraved Bloodsucking Freaks, unleashes this low-impact, eclectic horror anthology with stories of Satanic weddings and Shaolin outcasts and Napoleonic wars and ghosts seeking revenge for their repo'd cars and a sucky hitman. The key word here is "eclectic."
Facts of the Case
A group of friends working on a horror movie gather around for a candlelit dinner and swap horror stories. What follows is a collection of four stories from way out in left field, building to a climax that comes from somewhere in the parking lot in back of left field. Oh, and none of it is horror.
Since this film is really just a combination of separate parts, let's look at them closer:
• "The One About the Hit Man"
I liked this story. It's fraught with moronic decisions by the hit man, and the ending features some ridiculous stock footage, but the twist is darkly amusing. Again: not horror.
• "The One About the Guy Who Wishes He Was in the Napoleonic
This one's stupid. That's about all I feel like saying about it. Who the @#$% wishes they were in the middle of a 19th century war zone?!?
• "The One About the Greedy Businessman Haunted by a
Probably the funniest of the bunch. The banter between the miser and the ghost is so clipped and goofy it's impossible not to laugh. It's as if the actors were asked to ad-lib their lines—and both suck at ad-libbing.
• "The One With the Martial Arts Guy"
Easily the weirdest of the tales, this one sports some seriously wacky imagery. And that ending. Mr. Reed must have been huffing some potent household chemicals when he was putting this one to paper.
There you have it: four stories that are in no ways "bloody" or "bath-oriented." Blood Bath is not a horror movie, and is in fact more a comedy than anything else. That being said, it's got a few entertaining moments, though the ending hurts my brain. Give it a look-see if you're into the truly bizarre.
Subversive has issued a solid disc. Wrapped in the attractive packaging is a feature transferred into 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen. The video quality is shabby, but I think Subversive tried its best. A new stereo track joins the original mono for sound duties. On the back end, Joel M. Reed delivers a fun commentary and a robust documentary uses interviews with cast and crew members of the film to paint a picture of '70s indie horror.
It's weird. It's zany. It doesn't make much sense. And there's hardly a drop of blood. Horror-meisters will be bummed out over the film's failure to live up to its name in the gore department, but, perhaps if they fight through their disappointment they'll notice a gleeful dose of insanity and have a decent time.
The accused is sent back to remedial Title Your Damn Movie Accurately class.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: Subversive Cinema
• Director's Commentary
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