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Case Number 05907: Small Claims Court

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Burn-Up Scramble: Angels Attack Assailants! (Volume 1)

Geneon // 2004 // 100 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Mitchell Hattaway (Retired) // January 6th, 2005

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All Rise...

Judge Mitchell Hattaway prefers the up-skirt shots in the Victoria's Secret catalogue.

The Charge

The badge-bearing babes are back!

The Case

One upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the police academy…

Burn-Up Scramble is a "re-imagining" of the world, characters, and events of Burn Up Excess. (In other words, the creators are out of ideas.) This series takes three of the main characters from Burn Up Excess—Rio, Maya, and Lilica—adds a twist or two, and throws them into a bunch of dull adventures.

The first four episodes of this series are included on this release. Here's a brief rundown:

• Episode One: "Warriors Strike at Dawn!"
Rio and Maya, members of the Tokyo Police Force's elite Warriors squad, are assigned to take down Evil Frenzy, a vicious biker gang terrorizing the citizens of Tokyo. Rio pretends to be a traffic cop, flags down the gang, and Maya proceeds to blow up the gang's motorcycles.

• Episode Two: "Defeat the Mobile-Robber Madgunder!"
Rio withdraws her last 10,000 yen from an ATM. A truck pulls up, rips the ATM out of the wall, and speeds away. All the excitement causes Rio to lose her money. Another ATM is soon stolen, and the Warriors are called in to hunt down the thief. More stuff gets blown up, and Rio manages to lose some more money.

• Episode Three: "Warriors, Five Seconds 'til Detonation!"
The Green Knight eco-terrorist group has planted a bomb in the Bay City T-XO theme park. Lilica Evertt, a former Secret Service member, is brought on as the Warriors' latest member. Lilica is psychic, and attempts to use her powers to divine the location of the bomb, but her efforts are constantly thwarted by a group of middle-aged, power-walking housewives (don't ask). Rio uses Lilica's scribbled psychic drawings to locate the bomb.

• Episode Four: "Crash! Seventy Thousand Kilometers in Tokyo!"
A high-tech cat burglar is invading the apartments of young women. He makes the mistake of picking Rio's apartment as his next target, and she chases him away.
Lilica figures out where the bandit will strike next, and the Warriors track him down. Rio pursues the burglar across the city, systematically ripping off his clothes along the way.

Burn-Up Scramble is incredibly boring. It's also repetitive; the plots tend to unfold in the same manner. You have to sit through at least ten minutes of Rio-centric nonsense before the Warriors are even called in for action; the threat/villain is then summarily dispatched, and it's back to more crap about Rio. The characters don't have personalities; they're each given one (overly familiar) character trait or quirk, and that's it. For example, there's a tiresome running gag about the efforts of the police chief to get his hands on Rio's sweater meat; there's not a single scene showing him doing anything else. (The chief seems to be interested in Rio only because of her breasts, which doesn't make a whole lotta sense. His assistant/girlfriend's rack is just as big as Rio's, and she's not half as annoying.) Truth be told, Burn-Up Scramble seems to be nothing more than an excuse to showcase a trio of cute chicks in tight and/or revealing outfits. One episode wastes a good ten minutes on Rio's attempts to save a kitty who's fallen down a well, and it's clear this is just a contrived way of providing an up-skirt shot. Gee, how clever. (Each episode also includes footage of the Warriors changing into their tight-fitting battle uniforms, even though they're usually not wearing these uniforms in the next scene.) There's a chance, albeit a slim one, this series could have been fun, but the creators just seem to be coasting.

Technically speaking, this is another very good Geneon release. The transfer is beautiful, with no flaws. (The animation itself can look a little sub-par at times, but that's not the fault of the folks at Geneon.) The audio options are both good efforts, although the voice acting in the English dub is incredibly grating. There's a nice spread across the three front channels, but surround use is limited (the rear channels only come alive during some of the action sequences), and don't expect much in the way of bass activity. Extras include clean opening/closing animation, an art gallery, and the expected Geneon previews.

If you ask me, it's time to throw the Warriors a retirement party, give them their gold watches, and send them home. I think we've all suffered enough.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 60

Perp Profile

Studio: Geneon
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround (English)
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Surround (Japanese)
Subtitles:
• English
Running Time: 100 Minutes
Release Year: 2004
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genre:
• Anime

Distinguishing Marks

• Textless Opening/Closing Animation
• Art Gallery
• Previews








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