All Rise...

Judge David Johnson will never say bye-bye to his pacifier. Never!!!

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Sesame Street: 20 Years And Still Counting (published September 4th, 2010), Sesame Street: Abby In Wonderland (published March 3rd, 2010), Sesame Street: Being Green (published April 6th, 2009), Sesame Street: Bert And Ernie's Great Adventures (published May 8th, 2010), Sesame Street: Bert And Ernie's Word Play (published April 9th, 2010), Sesame Street: C Is For Cookie Monster (published November 3rd, 2010), Sesame Street: Dinosaurs! (published May 26th, 2008), Sesame Street: Elmo And Abby's Birthday Fun (published June 10th, 2009), Sesame Street: Elmo's Shape Adventure (published October 16th, 2011), Sesame Street: Elmo's Travel Songs And Games (published May 8th, 2011), Sesame Street: Firefly Fun And Buggy Buddies (published June 1st, 2010), Sesame Street: Learning Letters With Elmo (published September 4th, 2011), Sesame Street: Love The Earth! (published June 4th, 2008), Sesame Street: P Is For Princess (published August 11th, 2010), Sesame Street: Preschool Is Cool! ABCs with Elmo (published July 6th, 2010), Sesame Street Spoofs! Volumes 1 and 2 (published July 10th, 2011), Sesame Street: The Best Of Elmo 2 (published May 19th, 2010), and Sesame Street: Wild Words And Outdoor Adventures (published April 17th, 2011) are also available.

The Charge

#$%& off, binkie.

The Case

Are you at your wits' end with your hopeless addiction to your pacifier? No matter how hard you try, no matter how much sheer will you try to summon to keep you away from the sinful embrace of that diabolical binkie, you just can't let it go? We've all been there, brother.

But like all of the world's problems, the solution is simple—and furry. It's Elmo, the omnipresent Muppet educational aid, here to help wean you (or your child, of course) off the dreaded pacifier. In this collection, you get a handful of "Big Kids Stories," segments from the Sesame Street vault excavated to celebrate milestones in your kiddo's development.

The highlights:

• "Baby Elmo and his pacifier"
While trying to help a fellow Sesame Street resident shed his pacifier habit, Elmo recounts the multiple challenges he faced when trying to kick the habit and the different solutions he attempted.

• "Abby learns to ride a bike"
Abby is dying to learn how to ride her tricycle and she pleads with Elmo for help. Elmo shrewdly delegates this favor to Gordon, who Abby magically beams out of his apartment, despite the fact he was taking a bath. Luckily, Gordon has been dealing with this crap for like thirty years.

• "Baby Bear gets a haircut"
Baby Bear needs to go in for a trim, but he's terrified of sitting in the barber's chair for some reason. His pals coach him up and he eventually conjures the courage to let a strange man trim his fur bangs.

Sesame Street: Bye-Bye, Pacifier! is fifty-one minutes worth of early childhood development puppetry, and it's as solid as you'd expect from the Sesame Workshop. The disc is light on special guest stars, but who cares—if your son pitches that pacifier because Elmo told him to, that's a win.

The specs: standard definition full frame, Dolby 2.0 stereo, and an old-school clip called "Proud" from when Sesame Street was evidently overrun by hippies.

The Verdict

Not Guilty. ((suck suck))

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