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Case Number 18373: Small Claims Court

Buy Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Calorie Blasting Dance at Amazon

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Calorie Blasting Dance

Paramount // 2009 // 36 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Chief Counsel Melissa Hansen // February 20th, 2010

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All Rise...

Chief Counsel Melissa Hansen prefers to train with the Chicago Honey Bears.

The Charge

Fun Dance Blasts That Shed Pounds Fast!

The Case

I recently reviewed Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Body Slimming Yoga and was pleasantly surprised; it was not what I expected. So I had high hopes for Calorie Blasting Dance. Did they score another touchdown, or fumble?

We start with a quick warm up, jump into our dance "blasts," and end with a brief cool down, in this half hour workout. We are led by a gaggle of cheerleaders with sparkly tops, hot pants or mini skirts, veneers, and names with lots of "i"s—Kelsi, Sunni, Mia, Tia, you get the idea. The girls repeatedly talk over each other, and rarely provide clear instructions, opting instead for demonstrations of sexy walks, pops, and hip shaking.

Since the moves are not well explained, beginners will have a hard time following along. With routines that are basic and boring, advanced exercisers will not even come close to breaking a sweat. Those looking for ballroom dance guidance or moves to take to the club will find nothing here. Really the only people who will benefit from Calorie Blasting Dance are those planning on auditioning to be a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader; this may give you a leg up, so to speak.

The video presentation is fine for a dance studio that's little more than a wood floor and blue curtain backdrop. Audio quality is similarly adequate, enabling us to hear each chipper cheer and nondescript musical note. Bonus features include a brief abdominal routine, a rapid fire execution of these dance moves, and a cheerleading routine.

The Verdict

The ref's call: Fumble!

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 50

Perp Profile

Studio: Paramount
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Subtitles:
• None
Running Time: 36 Minutes
Release Year: 2009
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Bad
• Fitness and Exercise
• Instructional

Distinguishing Marks

• Bonus Routines








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