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Case Number 17988: Small Claims Court

Buy FitStix: Cardio Praise Workout at Amazon

FitStix: Cardio Praise Workout

Bridgestone Multimedia // 2007 // 40 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Brett Cullum // January 2nd, 2010

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All Rise...

Judge Brett Cullum wants you to stop hitting him with your Jesus stick.

The Charge

Shake until you look divine!

The Case

FitStix: Cardio Praise Workout is a workout for a very specific demographic, and I am afraid I am very far outside of it. If you like wearing spandex jumpers, shaking a drumstick looking thing at people, while shouting "PRAISE JESUS!" then you have found your workout. Basically the DVD centers around Karen Joy Allen doing a cardio routine with these baton-looking things she calls Fit Stix in her hand that she claims will improve weight loss because you hear the "shake" noise when you do it right. Um…are you telling me I need maracas to get my heart rate up? The other thing she adds to the mix besides handheld Hispanic musical instruments is funky gospel tunes and tons of "God will raise you up!" motivation. So I need God and maracas to get in shape? Well, looking at Karen's site this is the fastest selling DVD she has going for her. Apparently people like the message that you have got to shake your way to salvation, and who am I to judge?

It looks like there are eight cardio segments to this DVD, and then you have a "cool down," "abdominals," and "stretch" sections. You will need a lot of room to execute Karen's routines. There's constant hopping, steps, and reaching up to the sky. She moves fast, so you better have a pretty good sense of how to dance or workout. It reminds me of a Zumba class with pepper mills in hand. The religious aspect of it comes in at the beginning of each segment where Karen spouts off a Bible verse or Christian thought. Then you go right to "Stomp! Stomp! Stomp! And hop it back!"

The DVD itself has no real extras other than a "Pre-Class Guidelines" where Karen tells you how to get the most out of this workout DVD. The transfer is a little wonky, because Karen and her class members shot this in front of a green screen. The producers have inserted a digitally created bright window behind them, but it makes the people look odd throughout the routine as if they are inserted poorly. You can actually barely hear the music because Karen talks pretty much throughout the whole thing, so if you are hoping for inspiring gospel workout tunes you probably won't hear them too well over the chatter and shaking.

I suppose if you have the Fit Stix, like church socials, and are looking for a high energy cardio routine this is all fine. Personally Karen is a little too talky for me, and she looks a bit thick around the center to convince me her cardio maracas are any kind of miracle worker. Frankly, she looks a little heavy to be an inspirational fitness guru. Her praise routine got on my nerves fast, because I don't usually mix aerobics with my Bible study. But hey, there's a workout for every body, and this may be yours. Shake it and praise God!

The Verdict

Not guilty of making me sweat, this is one church basement workout that seems too silly to take seriously.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 65

Perp Profile

Studio: Bridgestone Multimedia
Video Formats:
• Full Frame
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Subtitles:
• None
Running Time: 40 Minutes
Release Year: 2007
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Fitness and Exercise
• Instructional
• Religious and Spiritual

Distinguishing Marks

• None

Accomplices

• FitStix.com








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