All Rise...

When Judge David Johnson hits you with a Care Bear Stare, game over, man.

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Care Bears: 25th Anniversary (published January 5th, 2008), Care Bears: Cheer, There And Everywhere (published March 23rd, 2009), Care Bears: Festival Of Fun / Magical Adventures (published April 6th, 2005), Care Bears: Helping Hearts (published February 3rd, 2010), Care Bears: Journey To Joke-A-Lot (published October 27th, 2004), Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (published May 9th, 2003), Care Bears: Share Bear Shines Movie (published October 23rd, 2011), Care Bears: Super Cuddly Collection (published January 1st, 2012), and Care Bears: The Giving Festival Movie (published December 5th, 2010) are also available.

The Charge

Lessons from the heart.

The Case

The Care Bears. Sequestered in their pastel-tinted cloud town, they embark to spread empathy and love to any who crosses their path. Are you up to no good? Down in the dumps? Or just a really negative person? Well, sir, prepare to have the crap cared out of you.

Share-a-Lot in Care-a-Lot features eight episodes from the most recent resurrection of the animated Care Bears property. According to the disc case, the stories are bound together by the theme of "sharing and caring," but isn't that what all of these shows are about?

The episodes:
• "Re-Booted"
• "Tempus Fugits"
• "Share and Care Alike"
• "Here Comes McKenna"
• "Night Shift"
• "All Give and No Take"
• "Bumpity and Tweazle"
• "Surprise Day"

Each installment clocks in at 10 minutes, so they're easy to digest. As syrupy-sweet as the show is, it's the friggin' Care Bears; the saccharine level rivals your standard-issue Mountain Dew six-pack, and corniness is the commodity they run in.

Though, even by Care Bear standards, this release is excessively soft. I remember the hardcore days of the Care Bears when they would team up and use that Care Bear Stare to nuke their opponents. Now, when their crazy Robocop-bear nemesis comes rolling, the Bears simply model compassionate actions to persuade him to stop being such a huge dick. It's all about imparting to your kids…what does the accompanying Parent's Guide bullet points say?…ah, yes, "positive behaviors," "identifying the feelings of others," and "feeling connected to sharing and giving."

That's a whole lot of feeling, ensuring your child will grow up to be a kindly, sensitive soul who will no doubt have his or her heart broken by some a-hole who grew up watching Yu-Gi-Oh!

Full frame, 2.0 stereo, an auto-play function, and a bunch of trailers is your DVD.

The Verdict

Not Guilty. (heart)

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