All Rise...

Judge David Johnson couldn't care less.

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Care Bears: 25th Anniversary (published January 5th, 2008), Care Bears: Cheer, There And Everywhere (published March 23rd, 2009), Care Bears: Festival Of Fun / Magical Adventures (published April 6th, 2005), Care Bears: Helping Hearts (published February 3rd, 2010), Care Bears: Journey To Joke-A-Lot (published October 27th, 2004), Care Bears Movie II: A New Generation (published May 9th, 2003), Care Bears: Share-A-Lot In Care-A-Lot (published May 8th, 2010), Care Bears: Share Bear Shines Movie (published October 23rd, 2011), and Care Bears: The Giving Festival Movie (published December 5th, 2010) are also available.

The Charge

Death by cuddle.

The Case

Five. Hundred. And. Five. Minutes. 5-0-5. That's what your staring at with this monster collection of Care Bear tomfoolery; a six-disc epic release featuring over 40 Care Bear stories and a full-length movie. If you aren't seeing Care Bears in your Chex cereal by the time the last disc has been spun, you are a stronger man than I.

This is a Daisy Cutter worth of Care-a-Lot love, and if you have a kiddo in the target demographic who can't get enough of these cuddly little bastards, then this my sad pathetic friend is the Christmas gift that will keep on giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving. And giving.

Five of the discs are collections of eight individual episodes from the various Nelvana-produced television incarnations, each disc totaling about 90 minutes, several of which have already been reviewed for Verdict…

• "Cheer, There, and Everywhere"
• "Helping Hearts"
• "Flower Power"
• "Tell-Tale Tummies"
• "Bear Buddies"

Episodes are standard-issue Care Bear fodder, with small problems confronting the Bears and our pastel heroes utilizing valuable moral lessons and their legendary sensitivity and compassion to solve them. They'll also fire rainbows and stars out of their torsos when the situation requires it. The final disc is devoted to the Care Bears to the Rescue movie, a feature-length film about the Care-a-Lot Awards where the Bears are honored for their heroics.

Unlike everything else in this collection, Care Bears to the Rescue is animated with CGI and given a sexy standard definition 1.78:1 anamorphic widescreen presentation and Dolby 5.1 surround. The rest is full frame and Dolby 2.0 stereo. A pair of interactive games and some bonus episodes comprise your extras.

The Verdict

If you love Care Bears so much you've named your children "Funshine" and "Tenderheart," then Care Bears: Super Cuddly Collection is Not Guilty. Also, seek psychiatric attention immediately.

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