Fun fact! Judge David Johnson has also reviewed Dogfights!
So I just finished watching this DVD and here's what I surmise: somewhere in Tucson, Arizona is a group of people with an astounding amount of time on their hands. Catfight Wrestling is pretty much exactly what it claims to be: women wrestling by pulling hair and tearing off clothes and scratching and hissing profanities. For 60 minutes you'll get a small selection of girls dressed in various costumes, boasting names like The Bitch, and climbing into a makeshift ring in front of a "capacity crowd" (their words—I counted maybe eight people) and beating each other senseless.
Apparently these are just regular girls (the synopsis describes them as secretaries, housewives, and college girls) hoping to earn some money by kicking the crap out a stranger in front of a camera. It's an elimination contest, with semifinals and finals and there's no suspense because it's obvious from the outset who's going to win (hint: she outweighs the rest of the competition by at least 80 pounds). But suspense isn't the goal of this ridiculous DVD. Appealing to that base instinct in most guys that finds women fighting each other with the promise of nipple exposure titillating.
And if you want exposed nipples, then you'll get them. In fact, if you check out the front of the disc, the producers make the point quite explicitly: "Pain, violence, kicking, spitting, eye gouging, hair pulling and NUDITY!" (Their capitalization and exclamation point.)
Yeah, about that, let's just say the wrestlers here aren't exactly the picture of Hollywood glamour. I'm sure they're nice enough ladies…actually, I'm pretty sure they're not, but the painful truth is they're more likely to win an arm-wrestling competition in the Kodiak than a beauty pageant. What they lack in Covergirl endorsements, they make up for in a complete disposal of inhibitions. The first round finds one of the combatants wrestling completely nude. The unfortunate flipside: the camera man is focused on landing camera angles that lead to unsettling anatomical close-ups.
Look, there's not much else to say about this. Me, I would have rather spent 60 minutes of my life hosing the barnacles off of the yacht of a verbally abusive banking CEO than endure the unfunny ravings of the announcer, the cringe-worthy shedding of clothes, and the stilted, bumbling "wrestling." Get this DVD only if the idea of not-very-attractive women swearing at each other and sporadically lifting their tops does it for you. Or if you're related to someone involved in the production and you're looking for blackmail material.
The disc: low quality full frame, stereo, and a couple of (explicit) trailers.
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Scales of Justice
Studio: MVD Visual
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