All Rise...

Judge David Johnson adventures in his mudroom on a weekly basis.

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Conan The Adventurer: Season One (published July 21st, 2011) and Conan the Adventurer: Season Two, Part 1 (published November 30th, 2011) are also available.

The Charge

Loincloths and jittery animation for everyone!

The Case

In 1993, Conan the Cimmerian—renowned not just for his bulging pectorals and magnificent flowing mane, but also for his delirious love of adventuring—dispensed with his binge drinking and robust sexual appetite to take on the world of animation and entertain children with his derring-do.

Conan the Adventurer was a Hasbro-licensed cartoon obviously positioned to be a major toy seller. Granted, I was a few years removed from ingplay with plastic barbarian action figures, but I didn't recall a lot of noise being made about the merchandising or the show. Indeed, it lasted for two seasons then retired to the Cimmerian wastelands.

Shout! Factory's latest installment in its sporadic release of the series (Why not just blast it out in one fell swoop?! Wait, I know the answer to that!) brings the final 13 episodes to DVD.

Disc One
• "A Needle in a Haystack"
• "Return to Tarantia"
• "The Book of Skelos"
• "Labors of Conan"
• "The Amulet of Vathelos"
• "Final Hours of Conan"
• "An Evil Wind in Kusan"

Disc Two
• "Blood of My Blood"
• "Dragon's Breath"
• "The Queen of Stygia"
• "Nature of the Beast"
• "City of the Burning Skull"
• "Son of Atlantis"

Conan the Adventurer never feels anything more than derivative: shrill antagonist, irritating pet sidekick, and serpent guys who get sucked into dimensional voids when hacked with a sword. Okay fine, that last thing is pretty cool. Regardless, this is a cartoon long on bombast and short on new ideas…or perhaps it's my He-Man fanboy showing through.

Another bare bones release: standard definition 1.33:1 full frame, Dolby 2.0 stereo, no extras.

Maybe hardcore Robert E. Howard fans will siphon value thanks to the protagonist's namesake, but I found the show to be a fairly joyless romp through a generic animated fantasy world.

The Verdict

Guilty.

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