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Case Number 18355: Small Claims Court

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Crimes Of Fashion

Image Entertainment // 2004 // 90 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Brett Cullum // February 18th, 2010

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All Rise...

Judge Brett Cullum will watch anything, as long as Megan Fox is in it!

The Charge

MEGAN FOX is in it!

The Case

Crimes of Fashion is a forgettable 2004 ABC Family production that would have been forgotten had a rising star named MEGAN FOX not been in it. She wasn't the lead, but MEGAN FOX is in this! Yes, MEGAN FOX who is the babe from Transformers is in the movie, and that's reason enough to slap her name over the title and face on the cover. Who cares that MEGAN FOX is not the lead? She's here people, so buy this DVD.

The plot is Legally Blonde crossed with Married to the Mob. A rather plain fashion student (not MEGAN FOX) is notified her grandfather has passed away, a relative she has never met. Yet he has left her in charge of the family business. Yes that's right, now Brooke is a mob boss. So what to do? How about stylish makeovers of Uncle Vinny and some help with her fashion shows? Oh, and did I mention that MEGAN FOX plays her nemesis? Yes, MEGAN FOX shows up in a minor yet pivotal role as the mean girl. MEGAN FOX people!!!!!

Poor Kaley Cuoco (Big Bang Theory) is actually the true star of this vehicle, and she does an okay job with what she's given. Everybody does in what amounts to a low budget television comedy that really doesn't have one single original idea other than a fashionista gangster boss named Brooke. Yep, there's no reason for this one to be pulled out of the vaults except that MEGAN FOX is in it!

The DVD we got sent over was not final product, but we didn't complain. MEGAN FOX is reason enough to ignore the fact that the transfer looks like bad television with lots of grain and a far too soft focus. The audio is a simple stereo with no embellishment other than we get to hear MEGAN FOX speak. There are no extras, and all we have is MEGAN FOX in an extended cameo to hold us over.

Crimes of Fashion is a very silly, badly made cable flick that happens to have MEGAN FOX in it. So go ahead and grab this DVD if you cant get enough of her after Transformers, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, Jennifer's Body, and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. Bare bones DVD featuring MEGAN FOX! And did I mention who was in it? Megan…FOX!

The Verdict

Guilty of having MEGAN FOX in the cast!

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 65

Perp Profile

Studio: Image Entertainment
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround (English)
• None
Running Time: 90 Minutes
Release Year: 2004
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
• Comedy
• Television

Distinguishing Marks

• None


• IMDb

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