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Case Number 18203: Small Claims Court

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The 5 Lives Of Criss Angel Mindfreak

A&E // 2009 // 235 Minutes // Not Rated
Reviewed by Judge Steve Power (Retired) // January 29th, 2010

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All Rise...

Judge Steve Power has a few tricks up his sleeve, and likes to swallow cameras.

Editor's Note

Our reviews of Criss Angel Mindfreak: Halloween Special (published November 29th, 2006), Criss Angel Mindfreak: The Best of Seasons 1 and 2 (published June 4th, 2008), Criss Angel Mindfreak: The Complete Season Four (published January 21st, 2009), Criss Angel Mindfreak: The Complete Season One (published June 21st, 2006), Criss Angel Mindfreak: The Complete Season Six (published January 22nd, 2011), Criss Angel Mindfreak: The Complete Season Three (published January 31st, 2008), and Criss Angel Mindfreak: The Complete Season Two (published June 27th, 2007) are also available.

The Charge

Experience five of the most unbelievable demonstrations in magic history.

The Case

Criss Angel is back to freak our minds with five incredible death-defying feats of prestidigitation. In between the marquee attractions, he entertains onlookers with some sleight of hand and all sorts of trickery and tomfoolery. He also seems to enjoy swallowing video cameras for some reason.

If you're a fan of Mindfreak, and Criss Angel's particular brand of Magi-tainment, I'd advise you to stop reading right about now and carry on with your day, nothing I'm about to say is for you. I'd rather you remain blissfully unaware of my existence and happily take pleasure in the enjoyment you find in Angel's little show. For the uninitiated, here's a rundown; Criss talks to us all, setting up his little stunt, while his advisors and his family tell us all how dangerous it is in oh so serious tones. In between bouts of dire seriousness, Criss acts like a jackass while performing parlor tricks, asking us "is it fair?" a bunch of times, and showboating while the tweens and retirees in the audience swoon like he's one of the Jonas Brothers or Billy Ray Cyrus. The same folks, god bless 'em, then provide gobsmacking testimony that typically mangles the English language and contains at least one bleep for what we can only assume is foul language.

I weep for the state of magic in these sad times. David Copperfield was pure class, next to the likes of Criss Angel. I'm sure Criss is "reinventing" street magic for a new generation and re-educating all of us simpletons in the true power of magic, but the guy has all the presence of a wet sponge. He commands about as much respect as the 12 year-old punk who just kicked your dog, dumped your daughter, and slashed your tires. I could watch his wacky antics for almost four hours every single day, I could also hammer nails into the tender bits on my body, but I won't. I don't want to. The heightened drama comes from a bunch of people gasping and oohing as Criss gets buried alive, walks across a minefield, uses his noxious breath to transfer a signature from a poster to a playing card, and tells us at least 17 times that he plays 10 shows a week at the BeLIEve theatre. Thanks Criss, I'll go line up for tickets right now. Maybe you'll come out and show me a crappy card trick.

There's a little additional footage thrown in, but that's the extent of the bonus features. The DVD is full frame, and is pretty much what you get on broadcast TV.

The Verdict

Criss Angel needs to make himself disappear from my courtroom…permanently.

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Scales of Justice

Judgment: 60

Perp Profile

Studio: A&E
Video Formats:
• 1.78:1 Anamorphic
Audio Formats:
• Dolby Digital 2.0 Stereo (English)
Subtitles:
• English
Running Time: 235 Minutes
Release Year: 2009
MPAA Rating: Not Rated
Genres:
• Paranormal
• Reality TV
• Television

Distinguishing Marks

• Additional Scenes

Accomplices

• IMDb








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